This is a blunt request. My son has always been a mamas boy. My fear is i raised him to much on the girly side. He loves to sing, dance, act, cook..... He puts his hair behind his ear, he likes long hair wishes he were a girl so he can do all the fun girly things, hand guestures very girlish and for his entire school age all all of his friends have been girls. I know why kids would call him gay, but i encourage him to be himself. This dosent seem to bother him as much as it does me, i guess cause i know the older he gets the meaner kids get. There are some mean kids out there. I am amazed at what i hear from kids. I dont like daniel(my son) hearing the mean things kids say about him. He is not going to be gay, i just know. He likes girls has crushes, 2nd grade just being a "girls boy" he is a charmer,sensitive,hes funny, girls like being around him,very social,not afraid to cry kinda boy. When i realize i might of did more harm then good i cant change that he is set in his ways very comfortable. When kids talk bad about him or make fun of him he dosent respond he dosent care, but i know its bothering him inside. Will this affect him?????????? How can i change that???????yes he does have a dad. Its a never ending battle we rarely agree on the way i am with daniel. This is #2 of our 4 children my heart is just soft for him, i love them all the same in different ways blah blah blah i could go on and on i hope this made sense i just needed to vent. Please excuse type errors.respond please
I am surprised that no one else has responded! It sounds like your son is happy and doing well with his peers. I know this bothers you and that sucks! All I can say is just keep your eye on him and make sure he is ok. Kids are mean and there is nothing we can really do about it. There is no tolerance in schools now and if these kids get caught teasing there are consequences.
Ok so your son doesn't let it bother him at school but you know it does bother him???????
What I would do is sit him down after school and just ask him about the day! Not to much focus on the mean kids but mention that if something is bothering him to come talk to you! If he doesn't let the mean kids know he is upset by it they will stop! I know that isn't the best advice but it is the truth! They will go on to someone that they can hurt!
Kids these days are so much meaner than when I went to school and I am only 29! Their parents just don't seem to care! I don't know why maybe they don't realize what is going on.
My dd was going through something like this a boy called her gay! She didn't even know what that was! She was terrified cause she didn't know what to do! My husband funny guy that he is said to tell the boy that she isn't gay she is a lesbian! I had to put a stop to that!!!
Our situation changed and we decided to home school our daughter cause the area we live in is not a good area and the schools are not very good either so we did that! I found during our problem with that boy that the school was no help! The principal even told me that the boy was from a troubled home like I should just let him say things like that to my DD cause his parents aren't there for him! I was so mad! Anyway!!! I have rambled!!! Sorry!
C.,
Be proud! You are raising a man! Too much of our society says that men can't be "criers", because they're "soft", or that just cause they're concerned about looks, or that they like to cook that means they'll end up gay, but in my opinion you've raised your son to be who he is. Your only concern should be to instill in him to be proud of being a boy and later on a man who isn't afraid to be or express all that God made him to be! Think of ways to make him proud of being a boy, without judging him for the way he is. You and hubby should still try to think of ways to compromise on the rearing of your son and other kids that both of you can live with. Keep open communication with your hubby and both of you try to look at htings from the others P.O.V.
God Bless!
VR
C., I feel your hurt! I too, have a 2nd grade son who doesn't quite fit in. He spent kindergarten at a private christian school and was still subject to some mean kids. I don't usually advocate running away, but we pulled my son and started homeschooling him in the 1st grade. At some point, probably junior high or high school, I will put him back in school. I just think that at such a young age, their little hearts should be protected from as much hurt as possible until they are old enough to start understanding it. We arn't isolated, he swims twice a week and we are very involved in our church, but it is more controlled. If someone says something mean, I know more about it and he can't hide it from me. Can I recommend a book? The best book I have read about boys is Dr. Dobson's Bringing up Boys. I come from an all girl background and guess what? God gave me 4 boys! It is a fabulous read, regardless of your religious beliefs. Good Luck!
Hello C. C.,
First of all I would like to say that you are right in teaching him to be himself. However, if he hear all these different things such as encouragement at home and discouragement at school, will leave him in between the both. At his age peers are the dominating influence and this time is when he will develop his identity. I myself know plenty of men that cook, some have long hair, some have short hair, and they were raised by their mothers primarily, but they did not desire to be girls. I would like to believe these thoughts are coming from the children he is being tormented by and if not addressed he will eventually believe this is who he is. Therefore my advice is for you speak the things God says he is, and at night when he is sleeping go pray at his bed side without waking him. Speak the Word of God in the atmosphere and even when it seems like there is nothing changing trust and believe it is already worked out.
