Need Advice for TODDLER SLEEP. FRUSTRATED!!!

What is it he is afraid of? Have you asked him? If it's monsters or something, there are ways to deal with that. I used a can of Lysol Spray as "Monster Spray" with my kids, telling them if they could smell it, then the monsters would stay away, because they HATED the smell. His fear may be unwarranted, but it is still VERY REAL to him. Deal with the fear, let him know you understand, and then work from there.

I'm working on the same issues with my daughter, Miranda, who is 3 1/2 now. First off, I have heard that visual stimulation (like TV) can be bad before bedtime, so you might want to think about cutting that out of the routine, but I don't know. Keep the routine strict -- it sounds like you're doing that. I did a reward chart for her and that seemed to help a lot. (We left it for awhile, but have hit a rough patch again and are back on it.) She gets a "surprise" after she collects 10 good good night stickers. I tell her I'll be back in 5 minutes to check on her, because she gives me a hard time about leaving before she's asleep. I tell her I'll take the dog out or do some dishes, sometimes SHE tells me what I can do -- and be back in 5 minutes to check on her. It's still a struggle, but there are finally more good nights than bad now. Good luck.
K.

When my daughter was this age we went through this too, & I felt the same way you do. I hated bedtime! With my daughter she would scream at the top of her lungs "Mommy" for me & wouldn't stop until I went up. This was more frustrating for me b/c I had never really had a problem with putting her down before. We started putting a night light in her room & turning on a light in the hallway too. I would go in & hug her again & let her know that mommy loved her, but that mommy had things that I needed to do before I went to bed. Then I would leave again. This behavior lasted about 4 to 6 months & then she seemed to grow out of it. She is now 4 1/2 & we do our routine,kisses & hugs & then leave & she usually goes right to sleep. I do understand your frustration, been there. He will opefully grow out of it soon. Hang in there.

Don't laugh...but we took super nanny's advice on bedtime and it worked like a charm! We limited stimulating things before bed and then put her in bed, read the story then said goodnight. I physically sat on the floor in my child's line of sight but I did not make eye contact with her. Over the course of a couple of weeks I moved closer to closer to the door. By the end of that time I was able to just put her in bed, read a story, and leave the room.

It's worth a shot! Good luck!

I HIGHLY recommend you get rid of the video just before bed. Studies have shown TV and video games keep children's brains stimulated for several hours, so that could definitely make it harder for your child to relax and fall asleep.

What works best differs from child to child. With our son, we go through the routine and simply leave, and have always done it that way. For him that works, and sometimes it's the only way to go. Since your son is already used to falling asleep with you right there, what might work better than trying to leave sooner is to start further away. Instead of sitting on or right next to a bed, spend a week sitting a couple feet away. Then keep moving the chair back until it's in the doorway. Finally, move it outside the door. Then you can work on closing the door until he's used to you walking out and closing the door behind you. Good luck!

Read "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers" - it's chock-full of good ideas to help your child with sleep issues while respecting his needs as someone who has only been around for three short years. Good luck!

I went through this too...I would get where I would quietly say, "I have to go potty, I will be right back." And by the time I got "back" my girls would be asleep. Then it was no big deal later on when I would say "I'll come check on you in just a minute." Make the "minute" really short at first and then stretch it out...eventually you wont' even have to be around. Good luck.

with my daughter when it is bedtime for her i turn her light off...turn on her little lamp and put in a movie she likes.is it dark when you lay him down?sometimes i stay in their with her till she goes to sleep,but if i have things i am doing i always tell her i will be right back,and normally on the 3rd or 4th time of checking on her she is asleep.

Maybe get him a cd player and let him listen to music? Maybe buy him a doll or stuffed animal that can be his special pal? Or you could try giving him a reward every time he falls asleep by himself (get his help to pick the first reward).

What about letting him know you will be back in one minute, five minutes, twenty minutes... and keep coming back in at the specified time interval so he has that reassurance. And hopefully eventually he will be able to drift off on his known, secure that mommy will be back in five minutes...

Just some ideas, hope one of them helps!

the only adviuse i can give you is to let him cry it out but stick to it dont give in,when he wakes when you get up tell him hes a big boy and to go back to sleep mommy has things to do.If he gets up put him right back in his bed its kinda like potty training them just stick with it you may have nights of 1 or2 hours of crying but he will catch on
L.

Super Nanny is good, but nothing is better than using your gut feeling. I think if you are ok with falling asleep with your child and going to your bed a few hours later, after he is sound asleep, you could make it work for you with much less anxiety and nerve racking work. If he wakes later, or sneaks into your bed while you sleep, take him back and repeat the proccess. He will evntually stop. Personally, I like sleeping with my baby. My three older ones eventually threw me out of their beds. Which was a lot more pleasantly quiet for me.

One evening we were watching Super Nanny and there was a mom going through this same thing. She actually slept with the kids and she and her husband had not shared a bed for YEARS!!!! These girls were much older too. What they did was the normal bed routine and then mom left the room and each time the children came out she put them right back into bed. The first time she said something like "It's time for bed." The second it was "Bed Time" and the third and then on it was say nothing! Just keep putting the child back into bed.

We have a 20 month old and we transitioned from crib to bed and we tried this method. The first night it took 30 minutes of putting him back in bed. The next night he didn't get up at all. Now he gets up but we stay consistent in our efforts and he understand that regardless by the time it's all said in done....he's sleeping in that bed, alone. LOL

Dear R.
You can try the bedroom-door shutting etc., and let him cry it out as on "The Nanny" on TV - but to my mind, if he is still wanting your presence until he is fast asleep, it's because he needs that extra comfort.
Just sit quietly beside him and after you have finished reading to him, read your own book for a peaceful half-hour and then slowly tip-toe out.
Jewel

A night light or lamp if he needs more light. The hall light on and door cracked. It always helped me. Also thats alot of attention he is getting right before bedtime. Your being there is entertaining and fun then all of a sudden your leaving? I am sure its some what confusing. I would read the book and if he is still awake say good night you will see him in the morning and walk out of the room. If he gets out of bed tell him firmly its bed time go to bed. If he plays the I need a drink, or I m not tired. Just say again its time for bed go back to bed and good night. We never dared to get out of bed once we were there. Also try a bear if he is a bit scared.

Try watching super nanny. We got a lot of ideas and they really work. Have your son being diagnosed with ADHD?

Good luck,
Elisa

I create things to do when I'm putting my 2 1/2 year old down to bed at night. I lay with her and scratch her back for a bit, then I tell her I need to go fold some clothes and I'll be right back. Then I come back in for a few minutes and touch her back or pat her for a few minutes then I say I need to go to the bathroom and I'll be back soon. Then by this time she's usually asleep when I come back to check on her. You should invent little chores for yourself and just keep going back to him. Just break away in short increments of time! Good luck. I hope it works for you.

I agree with the first poster in that he must want to be close to you for a bit longer. Maybe instead of a video, do a book as part of your routine...that way he's stimulated by your presence/voice instead of the video.
Also, I know tons of moms who have used "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elisabeth Pantley and loved it. You can find the most recent edition for about $6 on Amazon.com.

HTH
K., mama to
Catherine, 4.5y
Samuel, 17m