My Two Year Old Will Not Put Herself to Sleep

I had the same issue with my now-5 year old. I slowly started to tell him after we were both laying down that I had to go do something and I would be right back...I did come back. I would say I needed to brush my teeth or go talk to his older brother for a few minutes. I always came back though and laid back down. I think it helped him get used to being in his room and bed alone. Later I would have to get up more than once and eventually he would fall asleep while I was gone. Then I just started kissing him good-night and told him I was going to do the dishes or something and I would see him when he woke up in the morning. It took time, but it eventually worked.

My sister and her daughter have just ended this co-sleeping thing. My sister bought her a little blowup spongebob toddler bed and put it at the end of her bed. Instead of laying down with her in bed, have her lay down in the toddler bed then lay down on the floor next to her. The first night you can toss your arm up on the bed and kinda rub he back or whatever and just gradually over the nights just move further away until you are in your bed. Then make a big deal out of it. Throw her a little ice cream party or something because she is such a big girl. Take her to walmart and let her pick out some posters for her room or better yet buy a coloring book with characters she likes and color them together and hang them on the wall in her bed room. Then start the process again, just in her room. It may take awhile but it works. My neice was so excited about her room (she's 2 1/2) that she laid down in her bed to show me how big she was and ended up takin a nap. :) hope this helped.

My babies are just little still, but I have received numerous recommendations to the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, MD. That book helped a couple different friends who were having sleep issues with their kids.

Good luck!
M.

i have a 2 1/2 little girl and she always slept with me and i loved it. but, my husband works nights and on the weekends he wanted the bed to ourselves,so i decided one night to tell her that she was going to sleep in her bed, i put her in her bed and talked to her for awhile, gave her all her babies and animals told her good night and left the room , she cried for a little while and wore herself out. (it took about 4 days for her to stop crying when i laid her down).

M.:

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is very sad, and probably the reason why you wanted your daughter to sleep with you. The only problem is, not she is two years old....Unless you want her sleeping with you until she goes to school, it is time for a change. Go out and let her help pick sheets for her "big girl bed". Make a big deal about her "own" bed and start putting her in at night. It won't be easy, as now she is dependent on sleeping with you. Be consistent and loving and eventually she will transistion.
A.

Have you tried just sitting in the room with her until she falls asleep? My daughter was like that right after she turned a year old. She did not want to be separated from me. At first it was cute, but then it started to get a little old. What I did was I had an old futon mattress that I layed in her room. About twenty minutes before bed time she and I would go to her room and sit or lay on the mattress. We would "talk" and "sing" to each other for those twenty minutes. Then I would pick her up and lay her in her crib and sing to her for awhile. She would grab her fuzzy blanket and roll onto her side and watch me. After I was done singing I would kiss her and tell her I would see her tomorrow. Then I'd leave the room, but leave her door open a crack. When she would start to fuss I would open her door and sing to her from the doorway. After a week of that I would start to cut the routine back a bit, skirting around the play time before bed, and then I started cutting back the singing time. Now all that I do is place her in bed and sing her a song, and she is out like a light. Perhaps something like this will help? It sounds like she just needs a new routine, and that is never easy with children, but definatly worth it.

Maybe it's not an option for you, or you wouldn't be looking for advice here, but have you considered just enjoying it while it lasts? The pain of losing your son must be always with you, and exhausting. Plus you are a full time student? Wow--I'm impressed. I bet at your toddler's bed time you just want it to be BED TIME. Day done and over for her so that you can have some peace and quiet, some study time, or some plain old adult along time. If you are feeling on the brink of frustration to the point of anger, than you need to look here to advice and find a way to get this just, with NO guilt, ok?

But if not, if you're just feeling, hey, she's 2, enough already? If that's the case, grab a book and a book light, snuggle in and tell her to go to sleep. Personally, with my 2 year old, I use my laptop. She's got her sweaty head burrowed in my head right now. It's the only time I allow myself to "waste" time on the computer talking to other Moms (such as it is!) I have 7 older kids, and before I came in with her, I spent time with the next youngest my 8 year old, helping him brush his teeth, washing up, dressing for bed, getting him positioned, reading a chapter of another installment of "Weird School" to him before hooking him up to his BiPap for the night. The other six do put themselves to bed. And all of them were going to sleep on their own eventually. Some by the time they were 3 or 4, some not until 7 or so. But not a single middle schooler asks me to snuggle up with him or her. And rarely does anyone older than 11 ask for or even readily accept a hug or kiss, much less a snuggle.

I hope this helps you a little. Whichever route you go, trust your heart. I'll be thinking of you. K.

I know this is not an option for everyone, but when my daughter was a year and a half we got her a full size bed. she slept in our bed up till that time and refused to sleep in her toddler bed. the first few nights i had to lay with her till she fell asleep then i had enough of it and just let her lay in the bed and talk or sing or whatever she needed to do to go to sleep. the big bed and a princess night light did the trick. and alot of patience. good luck!

I'm sure you have already had many suggestions about getting her AND YOU to sleep in your own beds. But whatever you do, do it NOW. From my own experience, the sooner the better. And remmber it is more a battle of wills and setting habits for her and YOU! I found it very difficult to let my child cry and she was my "baby" and we had just had our nephew die of s.i.d.s. at age four months. So I knew it was ME that wasn't ready. But, for her own sake, I had to MAKE myself put her to bed and KEEP putting her back...I know it is HARD but good luck and it WILL get better.

Hi Melody.

I agree with the moms who are saying enjoy your time with her and make it a gradual change. I used the time I lay down with my boys to do opposites and rhymes and songs and then stayed with them till they fell asleep. When they got seperate beds (I have twin boys), I sat on each one of their beds and sang 10 songs each, then in a couple of weeks they got to choose which three songs I sang and we did lots of hugs and kisses. Now, they are six and we read and then turn out lights and they go right to sleep (most of the time!!) I just think 2 years old is still so young, and she probably has a hard time separating from you at the end of the day. We also borrowed lots of CD's from the library and played one every night, something soothing, not playful, so it wasn't total silence and being alone. Good luck. They grow up so fast. Cliche, I know, but true!

L.

I know its not the same thing and sorry you lost your son. Our daughter started the same thing a while back, but hers was bad dreams. I put a small new testement bible under her pillow at night before we go to bed. She calls it her dream book and seems to help. Don't know if it will help or not, but I figured it may not hurt to try it. Thought it may help. I hope it works for you or a step in the right direction maybe.

The only thing I can suggest is put her to sleep before she goes to sleep so that way she starts to put her self to sleep.