My Son Always Wakes up One Hour After I Put Him Down! Is It Just a Nap?

Updated on July 10, 2009
A.T. asks from Boston, MA
12 answers

My son is 8 months old and still wakes up 2-3 times a night. His first night waking is always 1 hour after I try to put him down for bed. His bedtime is 7pm, and he usually goes down without any problems. He's fed, changed and ready for bed. But without fail, he will always wake up around 8 or 8:30 every night. It'll take another hour or 2 to put him back down for real sleep at night. Is this just a nap to him? Why does he wake up only after one hour? I don't get it! My husband and I don't really want to have him CIO, although I'm close to that point where I'll try anything. Has this happened to anyone?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the great ideas and suggestions! Normally he wakes up at 8, naps at 10 AM for 45 minutes, again around 1 or 2 for another 30-45 minutes then one last nap around 5ish for another 45 minutes. The last 2 days his naos have been off, basically he's had just 2 naps during the day, but he did a lot better at night and didn't wake up after the first hour. HIs naps were thrown off due to our schedules this past weekend, but if you gals hadn't suggested tweaking his naps, I wouldn't have realized that it was the naps that was helping his night time sleeping. I appreciate all the great advice, and at some point I might try CIO after I tweak the naps if he's still not sleeping through the night, but this is a great first step!

I appreciate all the responses. It's so refreshing to hear what real moms do and not just what a book tells me how it's suppose to be.

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A.G.

answers from Lewiston on

I wul dtry moving his bedtime in 10 minute increments to 8 or 830 pm... see what that does for him:) he is getting older and just doesn't need as much sleep. Not every baby is the same he'll letyou know what HIS needs are :) keep uyp the good work mommy :)

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

I would think you need to look at his whole day and see what his eating, sleeping and activity patterns are. I just checked my notes from when my daughter was 8 months since we keep a journal and it said she tended to go through 3 hr cycles of eating/and a little less for sleeping - with 3 naps still. I also did what is called a dreamfeed - went in before i went to bed at 11 or 12 and got her to nurse without waking up - this helped get her through the night. Not sure if it will help you since you didn't get into his daily routine but here is what I had from my journal:

SAMPLE ROUTINE/MENU:

FIRST FEED - b/t 7:00 & 7:30 eat (nurse) – I give this feeding right when she wakes up, before changing her

SECOND FEED – between 8:45 - 9:30 eat (2.5 oz milk with 5 tbsp oatmeal cereal, 1 oz prunes, trial veggie or fruit ,offer milk) . I give her this feeding as soon as she shows any sign of being tired – a yawn or eye rub or irritable – then she naps right afterwards usually.

NAP

THIRD FEED 12:00 or 12:30 eat (2 tbsp each two veggies & one fruit, 1 tbsp tofu & bottle)

NAP

FOURTH FEED – 3:00-4:00 eat (2 tbsp each two veggies & one fruit, 1-2 tbsp yogurt & bottle)

NAP catnap for 30-45min around 5pm

FIFTH FEED - 7:00 – 7:30 eat (2 tbsp rice cereal, 2-3 tbsp oatmeal, 2 tbsp pear & milk)

SIXTH FEED 8:30-9:30 (nurse before bed)

SEVENTH FEED 11:00 nurse while sleeping

Good luck!

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R.H.

answers from Boston on

When you go to him at 8/8:30 how does he act? Still acting tired, or ready to play? I agree with the others that you should evaluate this in the context of his overall nap schedule. Maybe he needs a short nap around 4 or 5 then go to bed at 8 or 9? Alternatively you could try to keep him up and start bedtime at 7:45/8 and see if he still wakes up.

If it's more of a self-soothing issue (he can't put himself back to sleep) then maybe let him cry a bit. I know it's so hard but they need a little time to figure out how to soothe themselves. I could never do it for very long but I know from having a video monitor that my dd eventually learned to rub her blanket against her face and she would calm herself down. decide what your max time is, what you're comfy with and maybe just give it a shot if playing around with the nap schedule doesn't seem to help.

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

My suggestion is to put him to bed an hour later. There is no sense in putting him to bed at 7 if he is only going to wake up in an hour and then you struggle with another 2 hours to get him to go down. If you wait until 8 to put him to bed maybe he will sleep through until the his later wake up time.

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H.B.

answers from Boston on

Totally normal - and CIO doesn't work, so go ahead and pretend its not an option. My two daughters were the same way; in fact, my 10 mo old still does the same thing!

When she wakes up at 8pm we're now at the point where I go in when she makes her very first "Pip" noise letting me know she's waking up, I nurse her in the dark of the bedroom, and put her back down, and its really only a 10 minute diversion from my evening. She does wake up more when she's teething or growing... so I just take the longer tine to nurse her in the dark living room while I put my feet up and watch some TV. Feeding her protein with her dinner has helped her sleep longer, deeper. (Sample dinners would be mango and black beans or asparagus and chickpeas).

My older daughter had a harder time going back to sleep whenever she woke up and it about drove me out of my mind. I highly recommend Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" - but you MUST be REALISTIC: there is no magic trick with getting kids to sleep. It takes time and patience and consistency to form better habits.

Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

What is his whole nap schedule? My son had three naps/day until about 8 months and then when he dropped his last nap he went to bed really early for a while (6pm) and then we slowly pushed it back. Maybe his morning nap and then afternoon nap cam both slowly be pushed back and that will impact bedtime. So maybe he's ready for a little overall tweaking, not just the nighttime sleep. If his other naps are really working, I also think pushing his bedtime back a little might do more to convince him that its really bedtime and not naptime (especially in the summer when he's waking up at 8pm to find it still light out.)

Also, CIO can work but don't do it if you're not committed, because it isn't fair to start CIO and then not follow through. So if you know yourself well enough to know that it's not something that you can do, then don't do it. But if you feel like you're at the end of your rope and are willing to really try anything, CIO can and does work with a lot of kids (not all of them).

Like everything else, this will pass, you just have to think about what works for your whole family.

Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

A.,

I used the sleep book - "Sleeping thru the Night" by Jodi Mindell. I read about 7 sleep books before this one and I really like this one the best for all it's info and solutions for REAL situations. I would try this book as a reference for your question. I would look it up for you but a let a friend borrow my book. I'm pretty sure this issue is discussed.

L. M

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J.C.

answers from Hartford on

How much is he sleeping during the day? I would cut back on day time nap(s)or put him down an hour later. I know around 8 months for my son was when we had to cut back from 2 naps to one long afternoon one.
On the CIO issue, it DOES work, you just have to be committed to it. It took 3 nights of about 30 minutes of crying to get my son to sleep in his crib at 7 months, but it did work, and now he is an AWESOME sleeper, waking at 9 am, napping about 2 hours at 2, and going to bed with ZERO trouble around 8:30. I would trying cutting back on his sleep or a later bed time before CIO.

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A.F.

answers from Boston on

My son is 6 months and does the same thing and I am also primarily BFing. We have had a bit more success keeping him up a bit later, so his longer stretch of sleeping is more during the time when I'm sleeping. But, it is not consistent yet.

My pediatrician also said to try not feeding him when he wakes during the night--just tank him up before bed and when he's up in the morning. So, we've been just getting up, giving him his pacifier and snuggling him in, turning on a white noise/water noise for a while, and he goes back to sleep usually.

I'll be curious to hear what others have to say too :)

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J.B.

answers from Hartford on

My daughter is also 8 mos old and her sleep schedule is changing because SHE is changing sooo much...learning new things, etc. Sometimes she goes right to sleep when I put her down (like she used to always do) other nights, we spend a long time soothing her as she is curious and busy- can't seem to relax her body! Also teething. Not sure if your's is teething or not. Anyway, is it possible for you to try starting his bedtime routin a little later? 7 is pretty early?

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

Your bfing its normal for him to still wake. My 2 year old still wakes at night and cio doesn't work he will scream until 6am he has problems self soothing. Some kids don't sleep all night until they are much older, some naturally don't need as much sleep and others are just poor sleepers.

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M.D.

answers from Boston on

It takes babies longer to enter a deep sleep state than adults. Adults can enter deep sleep the moment their head hits the pillow, while it takes babies and children about 2 hours to enter a sleep state where they are not easily woken up. This would explain your sons waking after only 1 hour.
As far as CIO, don't do it. I tried it on very bad advice from my therapist, and it was very traumatic for my son and myself. There are plenty of other options for getting your son to sleep well. Try looking into the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. You may also need to alter your expectations a bit. Its perfectly normal for an 8 month old to wake up a couple times at night. Its a survival mechanism. So don't sweat it.

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