My Friend's 4YO Is a BRAT!

This is kind of a tough one. My suggestion is to talk to your friend. Explain to her just what you have explained here, that your daughter is a little sensitive and the grabbing, etc is starting to get affect her in "not such a good way." Try to work together to help the children get along. Remember, most children's actions and behaviors are learned either by other children or adults. If the children see you working together to come to a solution, it may show them how to work things out.

Another suggestion is if you're new to the area, look for a local MOMS Club. It's a support group for mothers and they have play groups and other activities. You will meet other mothers sharing similar experiences. Go to International MOMS Club and you will be able to find a club near you!

my son HAD a friend like that.he would say mean things and get him to do things the older boy knew my son wasnt allowed to do.my son started saying mean things,hitting and acting up for days after playing with his friend.if your daughter starts acting like her friend the sooner you let her know its not acceptable the better.when my sons friend was at my house and something happened i would put him in time out.after a few tiimes of that he figured out he wasnt going to do that.when we were at their house i would do the same thing.talk to your friend about her child.maybe she just needs some advice.

I have not been in this situation, but you can't let another little one walk all over yours. I know that you feel that you shouldn't have to discipline the other child, but if you don't stick up for your daughter who will????

If possible, try to be around when the other little girl acts like this - even if you are in the other room (but close by) while they are playing. Once the behavior starts, correct the other girl in the same manner that you would correct your daughter if she had acted that way and let her know that if the behavior happens again that they will be unable to play together any more. Even if the other mom isn't around, I am sure she will find out about it and it will go from there.

This sends a clear message to your daughter that it is unacceptable for people to treat her in this manner which is a trait you want to instill.

Hi S J,

I had this problem, but it was with my kids cousins! What I did was to keep them nearby and when it started, I'd say, "If you can't play nice, you can't play." or "Matt isn't allowed to do that so, please stop because you're getting him into trouble." Yes, I was disciplining someone else's kid, but sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. Before I started speaking up, we had horrible behavioral issues for 4 days to a week after they played together. No one cared, but the other child's behavior began to improve.

We did avoid them for a while, but everyone has gotten used to our rules (even though we were at my in-laws house) and life has been better since. You might also want to arm your daughter with a few comebacks because it sounds like this child is enjoying pushing her buttons. If she sayd, "I don't want to be your friend anymore." Have your daughter reply, "You always say that." That way, she isn't just standing there with hurt feelings.

Good luck!

Well, my problem was with my sister and her children. I love my niece and nephew, but they are brats. Well, they are getting better, at least my niece is. I have talked to her over the years (she is now 10) and she understands that it hurts people when you treat them badly. But anywhere we would all go together, I felt that I was the one that was watching the kids. I was the one explaining why we do not do things certain ways, or telling them that they did not need to run off in a store. Now, when we all get together with her and the kids, it is our kids that we have to explain to why they cannot act like that. I have talked to my 2 step-children repeatedly about "knowing that they get by with a lot more than I let you guys get by with". I end up feeling so badly for my stepkids that I allow them to get by with more when my sister is around just because I do not want the confrontation any more. I feel badly about what you are having to go through because it is hard. Especially when you enjoy spending time with the mom. Maybe you could try to just casually bring up some of the comments that have been made and ask her if she has noticed this behavior too. You might be able to determine if she really sees what is going on, or if she is ignoring it. Well, that is my 2 cents worth and I really hope things work out for you and your little girl. Time goes by too fast not to be able to enjoy the time you do have with kids.

Wow!! Sounds tough. I kind of go through the same situation with a friend of mine. I love her to death but she has no control over her brat!! I love being with her and spending time with her BUT I get really annoyed to see her son. He doesn't respect her, he talks back to her etc....He basically has NO HOME TRAINING!! So I try at all cost to see only her. It's hard and I feel bad to have these negative feelings towards her son BUT she doesn't know how to control him. I would avoid having the play dates with her. keep her as a friend being that you like her but you don't have to exppose ur little one to that type of behavior. Especially if mom doesn't do anything about it.

This is a HARD thing to deal with. I had a "friend" who had 3 kids, her 3 year old and my 3 year old would play together all the time. But her 3 year old was MEAN and would do things like pushing my son off the couch and she was bit him and even hit him in the face with her shoe. THe Mother was clueless. She would NEVER say anything to her child, but heaven hep us if my son would hit back. It was the end of the world. This "friend" would call her husband in and act nuts saying "Honey check Hailey, she just got hit. So I started where I would say "hey it was pay back" and she would always say for what? As if she just forgot that her child hit my son in the face. It finally got SO bad, I told my husband I had to put my son first, and I dumped that friend. That friendship wasn;t worth my son being beat up on.

my girl friend has a child like that and you know what i started to tell her child no and why it was wrong this only happened twice and my girlfriend was so embarassed that the next time she discaplined her own child...yea its not your job but maybe she doesnt realize the full extent of whats going on or that you are not alright with it. My girl friend was that way and what she realized that its not"what all kids do" she handled it very well and now 6 months later her son is well behaved on play day!