My Almost 3 Year Old Son Is Not Talking like He Should Be.

Updated on February 21, 2008
A.D. asks from Caldwell, ID
20 answers

My son will be 3 the end of April and is still not talking like other kids his age. In the last month he has started putting two words together to make a sentence. His father and I sometimes have a hard time understanding what he is saying. He does not seem to have a hearing problem, although he did have to get tubes in his ears earlier this year after reacurrent ear infections. I have had him evaluated for learning disabilities, and they tell me everything is fine, and that he will talk when he is ready. I know that we are not supposed to compare our children, but my 4 year old was using complete sentences by the time he was his age. I would really apreciate any ideas.

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for all the advice. I have been trying really hard to set aside time for just him and I, and things have gotten better. I don't think I was really listening to him. He was able to say alot of things that I wasn't aware of. Hopefully with time he will keep getting better and better. Thanks again

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M.N.

answers from Bismarck on

I know exactly where you are coming from...my 3 year old is the same way i think that maybe bringing him to a ear specialist might help in the long run...i brought my son to the doctor and the doctor told me that oh well his hearing is not where it is supposed to be but we will leave it for now...so dont take any chances and have a doctor that specializes in that area look at him...

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N.F.

answers from Iowa City on

I understand how you are feeling. It just takes time when he is ready he will start talking a lot more and it will get easier to understand him. I had a problem where when my son was two and he wasnt talking like he should. I just worked with him and he started to talk more and put more words together. depending on the child depends on how much time it takes. all you can do is be patent and maybe work with him.

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J.M.

answers from Des Moines on

We had concerns about our son at about 2 1/2, so we checked with our area educ. agency and they do free hearing tests and small speech groups to help with communication. He tested fine. We also started speakig slower. If you listen to what he says now, you may discover he saying the end of words. We as humans tend to talk so fast that the beginnings of words mush together or run into the next work making it hard for kids to descern what the word is. Kids learn by hearing, or by rote in the beginning. As we speak the syllable that comes last tends to be the one we land on, thus allowing kids to concentrate on that sound.

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L.M.

answers from Iowa City on

I also think he is fine. Sometimes we compare to much even if we don't think we are. The standard rule is one word by one two by two and three by three. He will catch up on his own time. It may be that the others are talking to much for him!! I am a mom of 4 children and our 3rd son did the same thing. He now does not stop talking!!!
Stop the worry Mom, I think it's fine. If it continues when he is 4 or in pre-school, he may have to have some therapy but they will screen him as well.

L.
my email
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W.P.

answers from Fargo on

Follow your gut! Once you can establish that there is nothing wrong with his hearing. Ask for a Nuerophyche evaluation. This will tell you whether he is in the Austism spectrum or not. I would keep looking until everyone tells you that he is fine. I have been through this with my children. Both of whom are on the spectrum and I was told that I should wait too. I didn't because early intervention is the only way to go. Good luck.

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A.M.

answers from Pocatello on

Hi A.,
I had this same worry with my daughter, I kept comparing her to my niece who was using full sentances at like 18 months. Everyone kept telling me that kids are different, they talk differently, she is fine now, she still is hard to understand sometimes, but she is getting better, and I figure as long as she talks for kindergarden (she is 4) next year she is ok.
My mother-in-law was telling me this story about her daughter, and son (my husband) they are 22 months apart, and my husband never talked, they couldn't figure it out, untill one weekend when he was two they left him with his grandparents, and not her. And he was chatting up a storm. They figured out, that his sister was doing all the talking for him, so he never had too. So maybe with all the other siblings around, he hasn't had to use his voice so much and is no getting used to it. Play sound games with him. and talk to him a lot, and ask him questions. I also made my daughter repeat herself when I couldn't understand her well. I still do that, I tell her straight up that I can't understand her, and she works at it until I can. I probably didn't help, but I hope I did, I know what it is like to worry about those things, so good luck, A.

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S.P.

answers from Boise on

Hi A.. I don't know much about hearing problems, but I know what you're saying about differences. My daughter is five and her little brother will be four in one month. Olivia spoke in full sentences and drew little people on paper when she was two, while Rhett still has a hard time making sense out of his words and can barely draw a stick-figure person. You're right. You can't compare your kids, but you can encourage them to try harder in areas that are lacking. Someone very wise told me that if your first child shines, it is likely that the second child will not try at all. She asked me how often I praised my son for his drawing. After I thought about it, I realized that most of my attention went to my daughter, who really didn't need it. Then I thought about how I would ask a question and Olivia would always anwer right away, leaving Rhett in the dust. The problem wasn't Rhett... he just never had a chance. I had to learn how to facilitate this change and it wasn't easy. Olivia had to learn to let her brother take the lead and receive some of that attention that she was so used to getting. Olivia and I talked about Rhett needing encouragement in his drawing. So to help this new process, she receives a sticker on her behavior chart for kind words about his art. On bike rides, Olivia has to follow Rhett for at least half the time we're out. When I ask a question, I will often direct it to Rhett and ask Olivia to not answer. Sometimes she does anyway, but for the most part, she understands that this is what Rhett needs right now and we all need to work together. I hope this was helpful advice for you and your family. God bless!

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C.H.

answers from Lincoln on

Have you had your son checked for stuff like Autism? Just a thought.

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K.K.

answers from Omaha on

Hello!
Another thing you can do is contact your school district and they can set you up with a speech/language pathologist to work with him and/or they can also get him into an early preschool program. I have a friend with the exact same problem who did the above (Millard Public schools, though) and she has seem GREAT results!!!

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K.H.

answers from Rapid City on

My son who is now 7 had did not talk at all until he was about 3, he had ear infections nearly every month from the time he was 3 wks old and he had a terrible time speaking. He would say things and I could not understand him. He got tubes in his ears when he was 3, I talked to the doctor and he said Aaron should start talking soon. After about 6 mos or so I really got worried. I took him back and the doctor once again said he will start talking on his own. What I finally learned after observing him and talking to him was that he had learned to say the words wrong because he couldn't hear them right. I worked with him at home teaching him to pronounce words right, he started school and when he started kindergarten he was in speech, as a first grader he is still in speech. It wouldn't be such a long process if I had taken the situation in my own hands and put him in speech when he was younger, he was in speech in kindergarten and now as a 1st grader as well. I'm just saying with the ear infections, get your son's hearing checked and possibly in speech therepy early. It won't be such a long process for you if you take the appropriate steps now. Oh and listen to the doctor but remember that you know your son much better than he/she ever will.

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G.L.

answers from Omaha on

Hi A.,
I would suggest talking to your doctor about it at his 3 yr check up. At my sons' 3 year check their doctor mentioned something to me that they should be talking more by now. She suggesting getting in touch with a speech therapist. We are almost through the red tape, so we can start. A friend of mine's son has the same speech therapist that my sons will have. She said she is very impressed and can see improvement.

I wouldn't be too concerned before he actually hits 3 though, because some kids just take off in their language. My older son was this way. He would point and grunt to communicate, so I was worried. I decided to send him to preschool anyway and within 2 weeks of preschool he had this amazing vocabulary that seemed to come out of no where.

So work with him as best as you can and encourage him to talk. But if you are still concerned at his 3 yr check up consult his pediatrician.
Hope this helps,
G.

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P.H.

answers from Fargo on

HI my son is going on 2 and is starting speech therapy, I would call your dr and see if there is a local speech therapy you can get him into maybe that would help! Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Waterloo on

I am a 25 year old single mother of a 3 year old little boy, Kaiden (he just turned 3 on Nov. 12th) and I was worried about the same thing. Even the ladies at our W.I.C. clinic said something about it. But, I had a speech therapist come into my home and evaluate him, and she told me that he is talking almost better than most kids his age. She told me that a lot of kids his age can't say their vowels very well, and Kaiden can say all of them, he just has troubles with certain letters, like "s". It's hard, they say that girls develop faster than boys, and that sometimes boy are really delayed in developmental skills. I have a friend, who when he was a little guy, he didn't even start talking until he was like 4! So, don't feel like there's automatically something wrong, he'll get it when he's good and ready to get it. There are some things you can try to help develop his skills a little bit better. The speech therapist brought a box full of little things, like a toothbrush, a glove, a horse, and whatever you can find. Then take them out one at a time, and ask your child what it is. . . help them try to pronounce it as good as you can. I have found that since my son has been in daycare for about 3 months, he's even began to pick up things from other children. He can say his alphabet (although it's not completely clear), and he can count to 15 already. Eventually your son will get it. Trust me, he's just gotta be given some time. :O)

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

A.,

What does your peditrican say? I would consider going to speech and language place for evalution. Our local area has an AEA that travels to different preschools and public schools for evaluation.

I know that it is hard not to compare children. I do the same thing.

I would check the phone book for different speech and language places and contact one and ask them for an evaluation.

Best of Luck to you.

A.

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N.B.

answers from Des Moines on

Have you had his ears checked? My younger two children both had to have tubes in their ears and ear problems usually are the main cause for slow vocal development.

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A.C.

answers from Missoula on

I hear this all the time, and I have experienced it for myself. My mom tells me that I spoke incredibly well at an early age, but my sister did not say more than one word at a time until she was four. My oldest son is 5, he spoke at a strangely young age and is one of the most articulate people I know. My three year old doesn't speak as well, and does not try to pronounce his words. Just a theory that may not be true for you, but maybe your son doesn't feel the need to speak and likes the attention he gets for it.(not in a bad way, it's ok.) No matter what the reasons though he is fine, and you have even spoken to a physician to confirm that. Sit back and observe the differences in your children and enjoy them. For instance my older son is always in a hurry to see what is next. If I take them on a nature walk, or a bike ride, he is going as fast as he can, and excited to turn the next corner. My younger son examines everything, slowly and from all angles. He is always behind me on these walks and rides. I like both qualities, and all of the other strengths that they have. It makes them who they are. And it also makes them a great team. I hope this helps.

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J.M.

answers from Great Falls on

My three year old niece was the same way. After a little push from my mom and I she put her in speech classes and it helped so much. My niece does not have any learning disablities that a dr could find, but something with these speech classes helped. She was in them for about 6 months and the therapist came to their home to work with her. She talks all the time now and even calls her auntie in Montana. Check with your doctors, my sister was able to find a speech therapist for free.

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T.S.

answers from Casper on

A.,

Being an educator and a mom of a son who talked late, I would say that he will get there. If when he is in Kindergarten he is still having problems with his speech they can refer him to a speech therapist.

My son really didn't start talking until he was 4. He still has a couple sounds that are not correct. I was really worried at 3 because my daughter was talking so well at his age. I will tell you no one could understand him and now they can. It is funny how much difference a year and a half makes. Now, we have a hard time getting him to stop talking.

I think just waiting it out is the best idea right now. You can re-evaluate in a year and see where you are. I hope this helps!

:)T

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J.C.

answers from Boise on

Have you tried the Zero to three program in your state? They are hard to find but it is worth the right person's opinion. As a mom some times it takes awhile to get the right people to talk to when your gut tells you something is wrong. If their is a problem the earlier the better to catch it. Unfortunately, you will get a lot of people telling to relax everything is okay. But in hind sight you will rather be the worrier than wishing you checked it out.

Good job for noticing delays. A lot of parents are not aware of milestones that their child should be reaching. They are there to detect delays. Yes every child will reach them at different rate. Tramatic experiences will delay naturally. Therefore, it may come in it's own time but sometimes it needs help. Don't be afraid to get second opinions

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B.J.

answers from Pocatello on

i have a almost 3 year old that is in speech therepy. her speech there epist is always reminding me to talk about everything i do... such as... when im bathing her...
' lets wash your back!... see we are washing your back wash wash wash'
or when we are eating dinner..
o'ok lets eat some peas. look there are 5 peas on your fork! one two three four! okay hear we go yummy! oh are you gonna eat some potatoes now ! GOOD!
yeah i know i felt like an idiot at first but she has learned a lot since i have been doing that. everything i do wether it is with just her or with the baby or with both i talk bout what i do! good luck i hope this helps!
B.

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