My 7 Year Old Daughter Is a Picker! Annoying Habit or Something More Serious?

I have ADD and I'm a picker too. I would talk to her doctor....gum helps me, stress balls, crunching on ice...anything really. Her mind is constanstly thinking, focusing it on something mental & physical at the same time really helped me. WHen I come home from basketball I don't want to pick or anything...the desire has left my system. Plus I have a better time concentrating on work. Good luck!

My son was on that medicine earlier this year & had the same side effects. We changed him to a new med & he doesn't do it nearly as much. May be worth talking to the dr.

I had these type of habits when I was that age- and I wish that my parents had done something about it instead of being in denial. My parents thought I had poison ivy or ringworm. I scratched my skin, picked at scabs, pulled out my eyelashes, and bit my cuticles. School was stressful and boring, plus I had dry skin and allergies which might have given me the feeling of being itchy all the time. I still have some of these bad habits today, and I will have to ask my husband "am I bleeding anywhere?" because I won't even realize it. Gum, eating snacks constantly, and knitting have helped some.
My son has similar problems- but without the self-destructive component. He chews his shirt collar, makes sounds all the time like spitting, buzzing, and humming, pokes his pencil through his shirt. I don't try to make him completely stop fidgeting, because I feel like the energy's gonna come out somehow. I do try to have him help decide on a plan of what to do instead. At school they give him a springy necklace to chew on(called chewelry), which sometimes helps redirect the behavior.

It could be both an annoying habit and something psychological going on. Has it changed any since she began the ADD medication? It could have been associated with the ADD, and the medication could help. But, it also may be something totally different. I would make an appt. with her doc to discuss it and ask that she be referred to a child psychologist.

I have a co-worker in my office (mid 40s) who picks her skin. She has done this all of her life, it's a nervous habit. She get nervous or anxious about something, she starts picking the skin on her hands or arms. She then ends up with a big "boo-boo" that takes weeks to heal.

Personally, I have been a nail biter/picker all of my life. Most of the time I don't even realize that I'm doing it until I have the nail into the quick. I have tried to break myself of the habit, but it's hard.

Her behaviors are anxiety driven. Not necessarily because she is any more anxious than the next kiddo. These are just her coping mechanisms. I would call her attention to it when she does it in your presence, dialogue openly about anything that might be a source of anxiety or excitement for her, and offer/ suggest alternative outlets for her fidgets like chewing sugarfree gum, doing an activity that occupies her hands like sports or crafts.
On that note, I'm a picker too. I pick on hangnails--sometimes until they have bled. These are some things that have worked for me in the past both recent and as a child.
Love, C.

So glad you got the ADD diagnosis, because as I was reading this, it is just what I thought of. I had this as a kid and it came back whenever I was under stress as an adult -- I bit my cuticles until the bled, then felt moritified about it. As an adult, what has finally mostly resolved this issue is regular manicures, hand cream and ADHD medication. I do suggest talking to her doctor about it, with her not in the room, because this stuff is very consistent with ADD/ADHD and therefore is something a pediatrician should be able to help with. But I think it may also help for you to know that it's totally involuntary and she is doubtless very ashamed and unhappy about it -- if you possibly can, try to keep off her case about it and instead offer hand creams, home manicures, maybe a sticker chart for how many days she can keep a manicure with some light nail polish looking nice -- anything that can make it positive helps. Anything that makes it even more negative than it already is for her will NOT help. Good luck to her and to you!

Talk about this with a doctor. My son was on medication for add (he was on concerta) and the medication made him have a slight case of Tourette's. it made his eyes blink more than usual and he said it made him feel like he needed to pop his neck. these things were annoying!!!The doctor wanted to put him on more medication to stop these but i asked him to switch instead.

the moral-- take your child back to the doctor.

You can take a finger nail file, not the metal kind, and
file the scabs where they are flat and, at least, hard to
get a finger nail grip. It is a vicious cycle when the
old sores that scab over don't get a chance to heal.
Lots of good luck to you. Sounds like you've received
a lot of caring advice.

Hi J.,

Please don't threaten your daughter. Children who suck their thumbs are doing this to soothe themselves. There is nothing wrong with this behavior. This child is needing nurturance and reassurance. Does she know about the baby on the way? I'm shocked that a physician would put your child on a prescription med. for "picking". I would give this little girl lots of affection and love and switch pediatricians.

Good Luck!

D.

My almost 7 YO daughter is also a thumb sucker. She has OCD and sensory issues (read The Out of Sync Child, as it may be your daughter has sensory issues as well.) She also has Asperger Syndrome. It's very common for children on the autism spectrum to be diagnosed with OCD, ADD, bipolar, anxiety, or other problems but miss AS alltogether.

I am a tongue sucker. When I was forced to stop (yay dentists and their torture devices) I became a teeth grinder. That messes up your jaw, teeth and may cause other issues that are much more severe the sucking your tongue. So when I am stressed and notice I am grinding my teeth I allow myself to suck my tongue. Maybe you can find an alternative that will help her switch from picking to something else that gives her the same calming stimulation that she may be seeking in the picking (and prior to that her thumb sucking.)

Does she see a psychiatrist for her medication or just her ped? It's been my experience with OBs and pediatricians that they are not experienced enough to properly diagnose psychiatric conditions. I took my daughter to Dr Stokan in Stafford as I felt that she needed more help then her pedi was able to give. She has a therapist who works with her who is supposed to be wonderful with OCD. You are welcome to PM me if interested in her contact info. Also, your daughter may need an anti anxiety medication or risperdall instead of Vyvanse. This is something good to talk to a psychiatrist about. Stress and anxiety makes tics worse (new house/town, a step sister and a new baby coming are all typical anxiety inducers!)

No amount of yelling, punishing, bribing ect is going to curb this behavior as she likely feels a compulsion to do it and cannot control it. Think of it as a tic like Tourette's Syndrome.

J., I just realized that you are the lady with a step daughter with AS. So this is not entirely new to you. If they are blood related then it is even more likely that she does have AS. I have at least three on the spectrum (I'm unsure if my 2 YO has autism yet.)

Wishing you the best,
S.

my son did the exact same thing and it was his meds! Once we changed his meds it all stopped. check with your doctor!

Hi J.
How sad for you and your daughter- not a dr. but it could be a nutritional deficiency that could be caused by the RX she is taking- side effect possibly- I would surely discuss this with my dr --- then do research and see if there is a "natural remedy" for her reactions.
Bless you- and good luck

J., my son, very ADHD, was on Vyvanse for about a week as he had the side effect of ticks. His eye would tick (he didn't even know it)and sudden hand or leg movement. Took him off it and within a day or two they stopped. It is a stimulant ADHD med and he does not do well with the stimulants (he is Bipolar & Asbergers). Is she aware she is picking? My daughter did that some several years ago, but she was very aware. Check with your Dr.

Truly could be just an annoying habit of fidgeting as a sign of adhd but could also be something else. I know tricocellonemia (sp?) Is a disorder when you pull your hair out but could be other things to I think. I would look into it for sure. To me, it sounds like a nervous habit. ( If I can't suck my thumb, then I'll bite my nails, etc....y Hope you get some answers.

My now 10 year old went through similiar issues. He sucked his thumb until 2nd grade, but he stopped doing it at school after Kindergarten. He is also a picker but he would pick and scratch at one spot on his arm until it bled and scarred it drove me nuts and I tried multiple things. His pediatrician had a name for it but I cannot recall. I kept putting neosporin on it and always kept chap stick for his lips. I finally decided when it bothered him enough he would stop. My child is who he is and was I jumping on him all the time because of me and finally I dropped it. At 10 he no longer picks at his skin or sucks his thumb. He is ADD but to date I don't have him on medication for it. I am considering changing his diet.

is her skin dry. try letting her have some lip smackers or some chap stick, let her do beauty treatments after her bath with lotions and cutical creams. sounds like her dry skin might be bothering her. durring the day play "beauty" and put lotion on. only other thing i could imagine would be a nervous habbit...try to have relaxing times.

My daughter has these same problems, altho she actually has been diagnosed with trichotillomania (eyelash picking). I think these are serious things and they are habits that my daughter cannot break, it is like an addiction, an obsession.

It is quite sad and we are taking very aggressive actions to help her deal with this and try to modify behaviors so these bad habits can stop, altho she cannot do this by herself and neither can we. We see a therapist who helps tremendously and we see the psychiatrist as well. I do not want to tell you what to do, but I would prayerfully consider your options and treat these behaviors seriously because they could lead to other more addictive things.

My daughter (9) was just diagnosed with ADD as well and is taking vyvanse 20 mg which has been helping. Her addictive behaviors were taking place before she started the vyvanse and so the medication is not the cause.

I don't mean to scare you, but when I hear things like this, my feelings go deep and I have to share. Good luck to you.

Hi J.,
I feel your frustration and concern. One of my daughter's is a "picker" as well. Her's is due to stress and anxiety. Through a book, The Mood Cure, we've been able to realize a natural supplement I can purchase from the grocery store (5-HTP) as well as adjusting her diet that has "helped." Meaning, she is now aware of when she's picking and together we're able to help her find another coping skill for stress and anxiety.

Yes, we did try a psychologist who tried different meds but that wasn't successful for us. This doc also helped us navigate our way through the book I mentioned earlier. Because of my daughter's age I wasn't thrilled of meds but that was our choice.

Also, we've realized she NEEDS to do something with her hands/fingers when she's stressed, anxious and even scared. So we do these things:
keep a stack of paper that she can tear up (I'd prefer to pick up tons of paper than see her pick),
keep journals (I started writing with her when she was 7 yrs and now she writes on her own)
keep stress balls (one in her back pack for school and one at home) she squeeses them and/or throws them - like playing catch with herself
simply snuggle with me and I hold her hands

I hope these things help or atlease give you some ideas on what you can do to help your daughter.

C. H.

i did very similar things as a kid (picking face, biting the entire inside of my mouth, chewing my fingernails recently until they bleed) and have continued into adulthood. my family has always gotten on me for the same stuff (different 'habits', so we thought), but i recently found out i have depression, anxiety, ADD, & ADHD and i'm 40-years-old. i'm told by my doctor who i see regularly for this stuff that it's anxiety and recently have gotten on meds and i'm better. stress causes it too. nothing you threaten or bribe with does ANY good. try learning more about it and take her to a doctor- it's a bigger issue than you alone can handle. being supportive is the best thing you can do- and getting help. it's not something you can put a band-aid on..... goes much deeper.

everyone's case is different, but a psychologist is helping me understand my habits only now as an adult. please ignore a few of the bad advice i've seen here by some moms that talk about consequences, ignoring, etc. they don't understand this at all unless they have been through it themselves. there is no shame in taking your child to a child psychologist- i wish someone had recognized my 'issues' as a child and maybe i wouldn't be in therapy now as adult for the first time. also, i agree wth some other moms that mentioned thumbsucking is a natural or normal way for a baby/infant to soothe themselves. the more you try to stop it or interfere, it develops into other habits or furthers the anxiety they're feeling.

i too come from a loving home- my parents are married for almost 50 years. i'm happily married to an extemely supportive husband and loving father. that is just a bit of background info. to let you know that we're 'pretty normal' as far as i know- lol. i also have a background in elementary education and am now wanting to go back for my master's in psych.

L.
mom of a 3-year-old

Hi J.,

It's possible that since your daughter doesn't have her soothing mechanism anymore, she sought out a new habit. Most definitely you need to tell her doctor. This is an extreme nervous habit and she has taken it to the extreme. This is also a germ/bacterial habit and it's forming into a behavior problem. I understand that this may be annoying to you but threatening her won't work. The habit could get worse or a new habit may form. You may want to take her to a Child Psychologist. Also, think about the relation you have with each child, could there be jealousy or just seeking more attention from mom and dad.

Most Pedi doctors ignore all the problems us parents put fort to them. They make excuses that it will "go away". I normally skip over them and go right to the source. The source is a Child Psychologist.

Good Luck,

I agree with the other responses to check with your doctor. Also, picking can be a sign of obsessive compulsive disorder. So, this may be something to research as well and possibly talk with a psychologist.

Have you tried consequences? Threatening is useless unless the consequence is feared.

As a former teacher (13 years now sahm) and a mom of an adhd child I can tell you that picking often goes with the territory. I don't know why but have seen it often. Picking is their way of self soothing just as thumb sucking was. I encourage you to talk to the dr. about it especially if she is picking to the point of bleeding which can lead to infection. Take care of yourself mom and be sure to join a support group for your ADD one- either in person or online- you won't be sorry! BTW - I have the opposite of you 3 boys and 1 baby girl- had my baby girl at 39!

Please mention this to the doctor soon. These habits can be controlled, and professional help can be useful. They can be signs of an underlying issue as well. I wish you well.

Was she a picker before or after the medication? Some of the ADD meds can cause obsessive compulsive behavior, such as picking. I would mention it to the doctor, particularly if it started after the meds.

Hello,

My daughter picks scabs or scratches until they bleed. This also drove me insane. I looked up information on where she is supposed to be developmentally and picking is part of what they do at the age of 6-7. One I read that, I realized it is just a stage. I stopped hounding her about picking and she has picked less. Yes, her arms and legs look horrible. I remember picking scabs when I was younger (6-7 yrs.) It is just a kid thing. Try not to react to it. If she comes to you with blood running down her leg because she picked, instruct her on getting a band aid or wash cloth and walk away. If we freak out and hound that is also desired attention, negative attention, but attention. Good Luck.