My 31/2 Year Old Sleep Issues

You know, my now 5.5 year old still naps on weekends (yes!). I send her into her room to lay on her bed with some books or stuffed animals. I tell her that I don't care what she does, as long as she is laying down on her bed and is quiet so her body can relax. She always tells me that she is not tired and that she is not going to sleep, and I tell her that's fine. She falls asleep every time. My grandmother claims that this tactic worked with all 7 of her kids, and it works with both of mine. Hopefully it will work for you, too. =)

Hi K.,
My son just turned 4, and he has been slowly eliminating his nap for the last year. We still require him to have an hour of quiet time each day, and we set a timer, so he knows when it is over. He has to be in his room with the light off, but is allowed to look at books or do other quiet activities. If he gets too loud, the timer gets reset for the hour again so that he knows we mean business. He only naps about once or twice a week, but he still needs the occasional nap to get him through the rest of the week. I also find that if he has had a very active morning, he is much more likely to fall asleep during quiet time. We try to go outside every morning (weather permitting) to run and play and expend some of the energy. Before the timer goes off, I check to see if he is asleep. If he is, I turn off the timer so it doesn't wake him up. We stopped using the word nap altogether, since it just caused him to protest and try to negotiate. My kids have that same internal clock where they are up every day between 6 and 7 unless we have to be up, then for some reason they manage to sleep a little later. We were able to get them to sleep a little longer by putting thick curtains in their rooms to keep the morning sun out and also by moving their bedtime a little earlier. I know that sounds wrong, but when we moved his bedtime a half hour earlier, he started sleeping a half hour later. We did that when he first started to give up the nap since he was definitely needing more rest, and it seemed to work out for us. You know how it goes, the more overtired they are, the less they sleep. I've read the most effective way to move a bedtime up is to do it in 15 minute increments, so it doesn't throw them too far off etc. He adjusted quickly to his earlier bedtime, and most nights, he is in bed by 7 or 7:30 at the latest. As for late afternoon naps, I think you just have to keep her super busy to prevent her from falling asleep. Anything outside or schedule playdates for late afternoons so she is too involved to fall asleep. I also used to have my son help prepare dinner on days when I thought he was going to fall asleep on me. It is more work than help, but he felt proud to help and it kept him awake. Hope this helps. It is a rough transition, but we plan on keeping quiet time through kindergarten. Kids need time to recharge so they can cope with life. Good luck.

In my experience I would still put my daughter down at like 11:30 or 12 and have her lay down whether she was tired or not. She did that better knowing that it was rest time and not nap time. But it was important that she lay with no toys and quiet and still and she would usually fall asleep. We put her to bed at 8 pm and sometimes she stays awake till 10! but as long as she is in bed quiet we don't mind, she'll play with her animals quietly or whatever. She gets out of bed around 8 am. Hope this helps. God bless

Ah, yes, I remember those days. It is a rough transition. But, thankfully, they eventually finish it.

If you wish your daughter to sleep longer in the mornings, you can ask her to stay in bed after she wakes up. Make sure she has a clock in her room, and show her how the hands should be placed before she gets out of bed. Tell she may look at books, etc.; use the restroom if she has to; but that this needs to be quiet time. Eventually she is likely to simply choose to sleep longer. It worked for a friend of mine.

Still, be careful what you wish for. You may need her to wake up earlier again when she starts elementary school, so be sure to pick a time that will continue to work once she starts K.

Hi K.,
Are you still putting her down to "rest"? My daughter is also trying to stop taking naps and her doctor said to continue putting her in bed to rest and if she doesn't nap, then move her bedtime earlier by 30mins to 1 hr. Try getting her outside after her "rest" for fresh air and sunshine. My daughter goes to bed by 6-6:30pm on non-nap days. Going to bed early will help her wake up more rested. The book "healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth is a great guide for sleep needs and schedules. Feel free to email me.
~L.