More than a Normal Freak-out?

Honey, your feelings are normal. I had the same feelings after loosing two babies. The baby is still moving which is the best sign. You are worthy of a live baby and this little guy will be just fine. Rest in the moment. For right now your baby is ok and living in the safety of his Mommas womb. Nobody can predict what will happen tomorrow. Every life is a gift and enjoy the gift you have been given. I will tell you that I have a very demanding one year old standing right next to me trying to push the keys. I would have never dreamed she would be with me at this moment. I pray all will go well.

Don’t worry till you have to. There is no sense in you stressing over this and even stressing him out as well. Now i know that will be hard because of your pass but i had lost a baby unexpectedly and there was no cause for it and i got Pergo again about 3.5 years later and i was constantly worried and it didn’t help that my daughter would never let us see her face or that she was even a girl so they thought she could have a possible cleft lip, so not only was i worried that my daughter may not make it and i lose her but now that if i have her she is going to be deformed in her face! Turns out i had my little bundle a week LATE and nothing was wrong with her besides she looked exactly like her father and absolutely nothing like me lol...so what I’m saying is you never know what god has in store for you. There is a reason that first baby didn’t make it and there is a reason for this child now. i think you’re ok and if to say things aren’t your far long enough for them to do something about it now that the little guy will have a high chance of making it...Your mind maybe playing tricks on you so start telling yourself and actually believe that everything is going to be ok...Good luck! Ill be praying for you!

Hi J.! Another pregnant mom who can't sleep, huh? I am in my first trimester, and I can't sleep too!

First, so sorry that you had that awful experience. I have never miscarried, but I work in the medical field and am very familiar with hydrops and with late miscarriages, like what you had. I understand that it is very traumatizing. Of course you are concerned with pregnancy! How could you not be, after what happened to you before?

Of course you don't want to feel this way, but, since you do, that is your body's way of telling you that you need to feel this way for now in order to heal from your trauma. And the end of my pregnancy, I really don't want to labor for day and half in excruciting pain, but my body tells me this is what I must do in order to receive the blessing that comes on the other end, my chlild. This is sort of the same thing. Remember that is IS OK to feel this way, so permit yourself to feel what you feel. You are NOT being unreasonable, you are a human being that went through a serious trauma and are still grieving that terrible loss. At the same time, perhaps you may be feeling guilty for feeling that way, and also inexplicably feeling guilty if you are also happy or content for a brief period of time.

Allow yourself to be both, and forget about whether it makes sense or not. Forget about what other people tell you. No matter how well intentioned when someone says "you should be happy!" or something like that, they are not understanding what you went through, what a serious trauma that was to you. Forget them. Allow yourself to worry, be afraid, to feel sad, to feel guilty, whatever, and to also be happy. It is perfectly all right to feel all these things at once. If you believe in God, pray to him and ask for calmness in your heart as much as you can. But don't hold back your emotions...in order for full healing to occur, you must allow yourself to fully indulge in your emotions right now.

Good luck! Did you have your late night snack yet? I did, but I am hungry again! Oh, pregnancy.....

Please let us know what they say. I'm ready to "hear" your big sigh of relief. :)

The odds are certainly in your favor I think. What I mean is that your first baby died during your 2nd trimester, at 21 weeks. The chance of survival outside the womb that early is slim. Now, you are at 37 weeks. Your baby can survive if born today. And if there is a problem, hydops or whatever, there is a strong chance that surgery (or whatever they have to do) will work. There are babies born a lot earlier than 37 weeks, and some of them have heart problems. They survive, and they even thrive. You just have to have a little faith, in God and in science. Maybe you are awake now so much at night because someone is trying to prep you for a lot of sleepless nights! Good luck to you.

J.,
While not the same situation as you had, I did have 3 miscarriages before I had my baby. For 9 months I was sure it was not going to happen, that something would be wrong with me, or the baby, etc. I think it's a normal (if not pleasant) reaction to previous devastation.
Recognize it for what it is--a kind of PTSD--and then let the thoughts and feelings pass.
Good luck, and relax!

Take a deep breath and remember that you have every right to be scared by the "extra ultrasound", I know I was! Around 36 weeks, my doctor scheduled an additional ultrasound to see if the baby had turned and if the placenta had moved (yes & yes). They had been concerned that I would need a c-section and wanted to be prepared, which is really about the insurance company.

My doctor explained it to me b/c I was sobbing in the office. The insurance companies ask the doctors to do everything possible to avoid emergencies at delivery- including add'l ultrasounds, blood work, etc. Your baby may have hit some kind of growth spurt, you may have put on weight quickly, it could be anything!

I would keep reminding yourself that if it was an emergency, they would have sent you right away. My sister's doctor sent her immediately from the office to the ultrasound b/c of her bloodwork. Her levels were high, which could have been a signal for Downs Syndrome- or twins, which is what it was!