Mommy Mental Health

Updated on January 05, 2010
S.T. asks from Fairview Heights, IL
10 answers

How much worry is too much and what can be done about it? I seem to be having very high anxiety over everything and don't know what to do. We have been "trying" to have a third baby, and my period was late, and just the idea that I might actually be pregnant freaked me out. Turns out I am not, but why was I so overwhelmed? I was seriously thinking why bring a baby into the world when the sun could explode any minute. And I was having bad dreams about alien spaceships and not being able to find my daughter. Really freaky things. This can't be normal, but what is it?

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answers from Columbia on

I have the same thing. It is anxiety. It was helpful for me to read a book by Lucinda Bassett called "From Panic to Power". I also take prozac which helps enormously. I didn't want to take it but I was so miserable without it and constantly too freaked out to be a good mom and wife, I went aheas and took it.

Good Luck!

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answers from Wichita on

Good Morning S., Your not alone sweety! When I was a young mom and our boys were old enough to play outside alone, at night I would have images of them playing on the RR tracks beside our property. It was horrible. What I did was recite the 23rd Psalm until I fell asleep every single night for years. When I am having a stressed out day I still do it until I can relax and let my mind veg

I do take Effexor, and have for about 8-9 yrs now. There is nothing wrong with talking to your Dr. to help talk it out and get the extra help you might need. When I started on the Effexor I was so bummed out about having to take Meds.

I couldn't imagine ME not being able to rely on the Lord for my strength and help. It happens even to those who thought they had a gripe on life and what comes around.
We have a DIL who could make a Saint want to Crawl in a hole and hide.

Talk to your Doctor hon, it will be ok.
God Bless you and give you more Peace
K. Nana of 5
What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
- Shrinkenstein.

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn
- A cereal killer.

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
- Dead ends.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Hi S.,
I think if you are worrying that you worry too much then you may want to mention it to your doctor. Worrying, at points, has taken over my life...and to be worry free, or at least at a normal level, is priceless. You may really want to think about your life now and if you feel complete without a third child or if your stress level is high enough.
You may have just passed the point of stress and anxiety that your body had processed and it is presenting itself in the way of your dreams. I would definitely mention to the doctor and you can always talk to someone or ask about meds.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

Well, the truth is that the sun could explode at any minute. Someone could kidnap you or your children, someone could break into your house, or you could get in a serious car accident. And on and on and on. We are very sheltered people living very easy lives, and when we realize how artificial this is, it can be very frightening. But the truth is that you have control over how much this worries you. You can actively decide to worry about it for a few minutes and then stop. It is not healthy to have no regard for the temporary nature of our existence, but it is also not healthy to wallow in the fear of the unknown to the point that you must be medicated. You have a moral obligation to your children to be responsible, and this means knowing that there is evil in the world and not letting it consume you. That is really your primary job as a parent.

As for having more children, it may seem wrong to have children because they will ultimately face the same fears and death just like you. This is also normal. The truth is that children teach us how to live by being young and naive not knowing all of the terrible things the world has to offer. They help us appreciate what there is to be grateful for, but only if we let them. Let your children help you live in the moment, appreciate what you have, and really live your life, because someday it will be gone. And what a waste to spend it worrying about things that may never happen.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

Oh you are definitely not alone! If my son is staying the night at my moms, and no one answers when I call, I start imagining the worst... some truly horrible, horrible scenarios go through my head. The whole drive over there I am bargaining with God on what I will do if he just lets everyone be ok... all because no one answered the phone! (I bought cell phones for my son and my mom and her husband just to avoid this situation - ONE of them has to answer!). Honestly, it is just a reflection of how much you really love someone - so in a way it can be seen as a good sign (this is me trying to find a bright side during stressful times :) not that it's a particularly helpful revelation, but it puts a little perspective on it.

Great advice on talking to doctor from everyone. Just be sure to mention that you are also trying to get pregnant. Many of these types of meds are contraindicted for use with pregnancy. You dont want to add the anxiety of what effect it might have on the baby (even if just used in the early weeks), and you dont want to have to stop taking a medication after you become pregnant - especially one that is working - as it may bring all the anxiety back at a time that it would not be very pleasant for you or worse add withdrawal type symptoms. Finding a med that you can take during pregnancy would be best if you decide to go that route. Good luck, and dont dismiss your feelings on this! At the very least, find a good friend or professional to talk to and give you a little perspective on things... that might end up being all you need.



answers from Kansas City on

I agree that a chat with your doctor is a good idea. Are you trying too hard to have a third? I have friends that became so engrossed in trying to get pregnant that it did really mess with them. Maybe your hormones were messing with you, i.e. anxiety and unusual dreams.

Try the best you can to keep things in perspective and find some ways to laugh during your day. You are perfectly normal and all mammas go through this at one time or another. (Normal life alone can be overwhelming!)

Hope you feel better soon and that the baby you are hoping for comes sooner!!



answers from Springfield on

Talk to your doctor!!! Yes, unfortunately this is a common thing, but it is by no means "normal." I have been through this same thing at different times and I take anti-depressants that help a lot. Sometimes it will happen anyway, but not as bad as without meds. I agree that it is very freaky to have a spell like that hit. You know in your head that it's irrational, but you body is screaming at you and it's almost impossible to shake on your own. There is so much going on all the time in this world that our minds don't have time to rest. Finding time to be in total silence and clear your head will help a lot. Take time for yourself, it's not selfish, it is very much necessary for your health. And remember to go see your doctor. I fought the idea of meds but it has made a world of difference for me. Good luck and hang in there.


answers from Kansas City on

Sounds like anxiety to me. I also have anxiety. It's even worse right now because I'm also suffering from PPD/Anxiety. I never knew how many women actually suffer through this until I started talking to friends about it. It's much more common than you would think. I'm currently taking Zoloft. It's working pretty well, though I had to wait about 8 weeks for it to kick in, then had to up my dose and wait a few more weeks. Talking to people helps. Find a therapist if you feel like you need it. Talk to your doctor. Also, try to limit the stress you have in your life. If you don't need to do something, then don't. Try not to over-schedule yourself, or spread yourself too thin.

My heart goes out to you, I know how hard it can be. You can get help though, and you will feel better. Good luck to you.



answers from Joplin on

S., anxiety can cause lots of problems, including bad dreams I would reccomend talking to your gynocologist or even your primary care physician about putting you on a medication for anxiety...more women than you realize are on anti-deppressants and or anxiety medications than you realize because a lot of women are not good about talking about. It is pretty normal...hope you get the help you need, trust me it makes things so much easier. Medication isn't an immediate fix, and sometimes it takes finding the right medication, right dose. Again lots of luck!



answers from San Luis Obispo on

I am a grandma of 4.5. I can relate because I was very uptight when I was younger. What I want to stress to you is that medication helps tremendously, but before you walk out of your doctor's office, know the pros and cons of what you will take. You will want to know possible side effects. You will probably want to speak with a therapist as well. Medication alone takes care of the symptoms but not the real problem, and a few sessions with a therapist might just shed some light on it for you and help you see where your fears are coming from. Believe me, it is worth it. It might be nothing at all, but you owe it to yourself to find out while you are still young and fix it. You are talking to mommies which is fine. Now, talk to a professional.
M. C.

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