Mom Seeking Advice

Updated on November 08, 2006
K.P. asks from Budd Lake, NJ
11 answers

My daughter Alyssa has a friend who she likes alot. She went to the girl's birthday party & everything was fine with the girl & her mother. Over the summer we went to a block party & the little girl told Alyssa she could not play with her because her mother does not want her to play with her. I thought maybe the little girl got Alyssa mixed up with someone else. Maybe someone with the name Melissa because the names sound alike. When school started they sat on the bus together. A few days later, the mother asked to have her daughter sit with someone else because she does not want her to sit with Alyssa. My daughter is upset by this. She doesn't understand why she can't sit with her friend. I don't know what to tell her because I don't understand myself. I have been told by other mothers that Alyssa is a very sweet & nice little girl. If the mother has a problem I think she should talk to me. I would like to know if I should talk to the mother or what else I should do. Thank you for any help you can give me & my daughter.

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C.D.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi K.,
You have every right to ask the other mother whats going on. It's better to find out than to sit and wonder.

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C.S.

answers from Portland on

I think the only way to even beginning to understand whats going on here is to talk to the mom about it. I definately would ask her without any defensiveness at first. It's easier to understand something without overreacting. I don't know how else I'd handle this situation myself besides confronting the mom. Good Luck and hopefully it's something that can be resolved without any problems!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.D.

answers from Boston on

Hi , I would ask the mother what is going on and why she doesnt want her daughter to play with your daughter. Is this your 7 year old? That is terrible for a mother to make a judgement like that without any conversation with you. If something happened then she as the mother should be mature enough to broach the subject with you. i would talk to the mother but I would also encourage your daughter to talk to a new group of girls because in reality if the mother is going to do stuff this you probablly dont want her around your daughter (the mother not the child ) Good luck I hate when adults are mean to a child or hurt the feelings of a child :)

1 mom found this helpful
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H.K.

answers from Boston on

absolutely talk to the mom!!! if something happened at that birthday party involving your daughter then you should know. Maybe the girls had a fight or maybe the mom is having some issues of her own. whatever the case maybe your daughter is continually having her feelings hurt because of what her friend is saying and the issue needs to be addressed

1 mom found this helpful
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K.N.

answers from Boston on

hi K.,
i personally would have a heart to heart talk with that girls mother and ask her what the problem is. ask her if it has somethinmg to do with you as a personal problem she may have with you or is it your little girl. i think this woman is acting immature about the situatuion having not told you anyhting may be wrong. good luck kelly

1 mom found this helpful
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D.

answers from New York on

I would talk to the mother. You can say something like "I know the girls became such good friends over the summer and it such a shame that they can't play together anymore. Is there anything we can do to solve this. I'm sure that *blank* misses Alyssa too."

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R.B.

answers from New York on

yes you need to talk to the mother and get to the bottom of this matter. Could be the little girl took the friendship the wrong way and told her mother the wrong thing. I would talk to the mother. Hope everything works out for you and your daughter.

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K.

answers from Providence on

Hi K.,
Yes I would talk to the mom. I think that I would approch it by saying "Did Alyssa do something wrong"? I find sometimes you need to not have a defense up with people. Asking her what your daughter did will give her the opportunity to tell you if she did. If she says no then ask her why the girls can not be friends. Let her know Alyssa does not know what she did wrong and if she did do something to please let her know so she can explain to her what she did. I always find by not saying not my child helps. Even if they did not do anything wrong, Let us know how things work out for your daughter - K.

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D.S.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi K. i would really talk to the mom on this one and ask her what the problem is with your daughter and why she is telling her daughter to stay away from yours cause if there is a problem or there was a problem that you are totally unaware of ...I would go to her call her or something ask her what the problem is .You be the mature one here and ask her it sounds to me that this little girls mom is immature on this cause if there was a problem she should of came to you and talked to you about this ...Your own daughter poor girl she probably dont understand and is very hurt by this but i would want to find out why the mother is telling the girl things like this and if its something that cant be resolved then your gonna have to direct your daughter to another group of friend the kids are so innocent here and this little girl probably has no clue why her mom dont want her near your daughter she is just doing what her mom is telling her keep us posted good luck

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L.P.

answers from New York on

Definitely talk to the mom!!! You need to have an explanation for why she is going to extreme measures to have the girls apart. To go so far as not let them sit together on the bus??? i'd be more than curious to find out what is going on!!!

My best to you! Let us know what happens! Hope your little girl isn't too hurt over it.

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A.A.

answers from Rochester on

the only thing i would say is definately have to approach the mother...this kind of behavior is unacceptable & its not teaching our children good things either...good luck

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