Mom of 2 Little Girls

There's not much information to go on here, but perhaps teaching them to problem solve and what to do in conflict could maybe help?

Example: Susie takes toy. Sally learns to talk about the problem and verbally ask it back without hitting Susie. etc.

Maybe they just need more tools to learn to compromise or to talk about the problem.

This is a vague answer since we don't know their ages or what specifically fighting is. IE verbal, physical, name calling etc.

Good luck!

I have a 3 and 2 year old, when they are not fighting, they are teasing or tattling on each other. If they are not punching each other, they are pulling hair, taking toys away from each other or wrestling. This is normal. Its all day every day at our house. Mostly I try to stay patient, but our 1 year old son is getting in the middle of these as well. So now there is punishment that is delt after a discussion of what happened. Usually I was leaving it for them to sort out. If they ran to me to tattle I ignored them. If there was blood, or violence, they were seperated and put in there rooms to de-tox. Now that the 1 year old is getting in the middle, I get after it right away. I am on top of them. I dont yell I just walk in really angry like with my arms crossed. I just say "what is going on" eventually a story is told and I deal with it accordingly. Each one goes to there room, 1 year old gets held (which he hates) and everyone has a time out for 5 minutes. Its lessening but I doubt it will quit any time soon. My brother and I used to fight like this, even worse. We survived, but I think we drove my mom insane.

Ugh I have a 2 and 3 year old and man that is ALL day long! Crying, whining, tattling, laughing, screaming, running, jumping off things, just being totally crazy! Some days I think I am going to loose my mind!
Most of the time I kinda try and let them work it out, but then other times I have to jump in.
Our new thing is that if they are fighting over a toy and can't learn to share (by the way they have double of everything and still fight over one thing) then the toy is gone for the day! So if you can't share, then bye bye toy. If there is hitting involved and we of course can't tell who did what, both go to rooms for a bit of time.
Really the main thing we do is try and curb the fake crying and whining the most. We just don't respond to them until they use words and have no tears. Those fake cries and forced tears are so annoying!
If they can't use words then I guess they are too tired to talk and it must be bed time! That shapes them right up.
It is a work in progress and I imagine this will be going on for YEARS to come- the fighting will just change. I imagine it will be over clothes, friends, boys ect.... can't wait!!! :(
At least I know I am not alone :)

I saw from your other post that you rarely see them because of you 3rd shift hours, and that there are issues between hubbie and you as well. Maybe they are just acting out to get attention? Perhaps tell them if they do not fight you will take them to the playground, local petting zoo, ice cream place, whatever a fun thing is to do? Perhaps with more positive and fun attention they will have less time to fight. Or if you are too tired from your night hours, offer to play a game with them, or build forts with sheets tied to the furniture, or make tea and cookies in the toy tea set and have a picnic on the living room floor with all the Barbies, whatever seems like a fun and different thing. My kids love playing with clay and we bake some of their creations and then they play with them. Or they can back little cups and saucers and bake them and have gingerale out of them, with cheerios for cookies. I bet your local librarian can also point you to book for for fun crafts for that age to do at home, or local activities that both would enjoy. Mine are 3 years apart so it is possible to do stuff that both like. Good luck.

They are succeeding in getting your attention - it's just negative attention. Ignore them, walk away (unless there is danger involved), in which case separate them and put them in their rooms and then walk away. Tell them you are ready to play a game or read a story as soon as they can behave nicely like they do in school. Currently, they are fighting to see if the other can be put in time out so the other one has your undivided attention. Don't play that game.

You are letting your guilt (as read in your other post) get in the way of the type of parenting you want to do. Ease up on the chores and dinner preps, let the house be not-so-clean, and focus on positive interactions with your girls. They behave in school, they can behave at home.

And get your husband to pitch in with the chores after the kids go to bed.

Put them both in time out.
One for taking the toy and the other for tattling.
It will take more than once, but it will cure the issue.
LBC

I saw on another post that your two girls go to school all day so maybe they need to be taught when at home how to share and get along as it takes teaching for kids to learn how to behave. Tell them if they keep fighting over a toy that it will be taken away for a while and they can move on to something else until they are ready to share.

You could search under sibling rivalry here on Mamapedia and see which of the questions already asked best describs your daughters and then read the answers there.