Mom Needs Help - Atlanta,GA

Do NOT call her. The only thing that you really can do is talk to your son so he can see where your comming from and hope he makes the best descision for himself. If you forbid it he might want to be with her more. He will get hurt, we all do when dealing with young love, its how we learn to become better partners and find what we do and dont want in a partner. ((HUGS))

Gosh this is one of the hardest parts of being a parent. Allowing our children to handle these situations on their own. You can be there for support for your son.

Do not speak ill of the girl, it will just make him want to defend her, remember he liked her at one point. If you put her down you could send him a message he did not make a good choice..

Just let him know that you understand that he has strong feelings. It is a wonderful thing to have a girl friend and to be in love, but it is hard when it ends for one person and not for the other.. At some point he may be on the other end and he will understand this part.

I am sending you, strength.

This is hard, but this is his time to learn the life lessons that he needs to learn. DO NOT CALL the girl!! This will destroy your relationship with your son. He will never trust you again and will never tell you anything about his personal life. Let him learn this heart break and let him see her true colors on his own so that he can see them in others later. It is hard, but better him going thru this now rather than after 15 years marriage and 3 kids involved. Give her son credit, I'm sure he is smart and will in due time figure it all out. take deep breaths and let nature happen. Be there for him, support him, guide him if he will let you, but otherwise, take the back seat in this situation.

haha.... just wait till youre a mother in law.
I'd stay out of it unless your son asks you for some advice, other than that just sort of talk to him about some experiences you had when you were his age. he needs to be reminded that there are a lot of fish in the sea. I remember my mom always telling me that when I liked a boy that didnt like me or when i got too involved with a boy and she was afraid it was gonna lead to sex.... she'd be all "you need to play the field", meaning date other boys but dont let them touch your goods.
Girls ARE manipulitive, and teens are learing how much power they all have right now. Tell him to play hard to get ... and then pray that his esteem comes back faster than she does.

She's a teenage girl, leave it alone. She may be manipulative, or she just may be hormonal and confused and genuinely unsure if she wants to stay together or not... sounds typical.

Really, teenagers having serious relationships aren't a good idea anyways, it's distracting and emotional, and inhibitive in a time of life when a person is growing up and learning about themselves.

I would simply be supportive of your son and let him know he'll be fine being independent. Separation is a good thing, it will help him refocus on the things that are important... his personal growth into a young man and his grades. it would be awful if you told her off, she cried to him and he took her back and got pissed at you, it would have backfired... I've seen that happen many times.

You can't take away his pain. That's how we learn and grow....and become better partners. You can't call the girl and you can't put her down. That will put a distance between you and your son. He will want to defend her and that is the LAST thing you want him to do.

Ask him if he wants to really be with this girl or just be in a relationship. Ask him to write on a list the qualities of what he wants from a girlfriend. What are the things he likes about this girl? What are the things he wished he could change about her? Tell him he DOESN'T have to share this information with you. It is just for him to reflect. Ask him how you can help (change phone numbers, help him respond in a positive way to her texts, find a counselor, etc.) Ask him if he has a close friend that he can share his feelings with. If you know he has a good friend, ask him if he is sharing his feelings with this friend. Ask him what his friends think of this girl (don't add your commentary or thoughts). The more you can make HIM reflective on the situation, the sooner he will see how bad it is for him. He has to make the steps towards a healthier relationship with this girl.....even if it means he continues dating her (I know...not what you want to hear). And lastly, I've learned that if a teenage boy wants to talk...LISTEN without judgement and try to ask the questions a counselor would ask (without getting worked up).

Remember, this is a developmental milestone for teens. They are learning to become independent. As much resistance as you get, remember it is a natural phase that is healthy. They have to make their own choices and learn from them. This part really sucks for the parent! Good luck with this. It is obvious you are in pain for your child. That is love.

I agree with Laurie A. Does he like that she texts him? Is there a way to talk to him in a way about her that he won't get defensive? If you can and you do and he doesn't like that she texts him maybe you can get him a new phone number? When I was a teenager I was in a "lethal" relationship (like one your describing). The guy was a jerk when we broke up and led me on, etc... if my mom or dad had talked to me and gave me a new phone number that jerk would not have had it at all and it would've saved a lot of emotional pain.. so it could be a good idea. but who knows if I would've listened :P