Messed up Sleeping and Need Help

Whatever gets everyone the most sleep is the right answer! Of course you have to make sure that safety comes first, but beyond that, I say do whatever works for your family.

Please don't fall prey to the "cry-it-out" advice. I see/hear it a lot from other moms. I am so glad that I followed my instincts and responded to my baby's cries rather than leave her to cry herself to sleep. That's a convenience thing for parents, but not good for the child developmentally.

I found that warming the bassinet with a hot water bottle before I put the baby down helped a lot, especially during the colder months. I'd nurse the baby, my husband would fill the hot water bottle & put it in the bassinet, then I'd take it out and put the baby in.

First, don't be so hard on yourself...you didn't mess up. Holding your baby and enjoying that one on one contact with them is never wrong. BUT, for your own sanity, you might want to balance it with some time that they sleep on their own.

I have two and held the first one for all his naps much like you did and definitely had problems with him sleeping on his own. My second I've done differently and found some balance--and it's been so much better. I'd love to say he's the perfect sleeper, but I think its a lot better than my first. I generally hold him when he goes to sleep, nurse him or rock him and then when I've had a little of that bonding time and he has too, put him down in his bassinette or crib.

Try and keep a routine too. Every night, I put my son down in his room, with the lights off. No distractions and clear indication that it's bed time. Nap time is the same thing. I close the blinds and sit in his chair in his room. He knows it's time to go to sleep.

Anyway...good luck!

-M

It sounds normal to me - I would have been ecstatic for an hour and a half at that point! Can you just rock him to sleep and then put him in the crib?

you didn't mess up! The first couple months that is very normal for baby and cuddling is good for everyone. At 3 months you should be more concerned with sleep habits though. Start getting him used to the crib soon. Don't jump every time you hear a sound--babies make small cries and whimpers while going through sleep cycles. And you know your baby's voice/cries, so you can let him self-soothe himself to sleep as long as they are not hysterical cries. Good luck, and hope you get a 4+ hr stretch of sleep soon!

Hi, L.. You just put him in his bassinet and walk away. If he cries longer than ten minutes console him by picking him up and rocking him for a few minutes then try again. Gently rock him back to sleep. Also try rubbing his tummy or face (this helps my daughter-she loves this)until he is soothed. Your baby will learn to associate his new bed with your closeness this way. Eventually he will get used to his new sleeping area. He will know that you are still nearby. It may take days; it may take weeks, but you have to set some boundaries since he is almost 3 months old. Besides babies will always sleep better in their own beds. And I advise the bassinette over the crib for now if he is small enough so that he feels 'closer' and more comfortable in a more snug surrounding. Have you tried the boppy brand incline 'pillow' with the bumpers on either side? My husband calls it the "pontoon". (I am drawing a blank at the moment with the correct name.) He will be able to stay in position and be much more comfortable with this than lying on his back alone. This allows for correctly supported side-sleeping. When he is ready for the crib he will let you know. One more tidbit: try putting a musical crib attachment up for him. He will learn to love his little bed in no time! Hope this helps.
Stephanie

Have you tried a kidopatomus or the snug swaddeling? My youngest son slept in one of those for 6 months because he kept flailing his arms during his sleep so this helped keep him from waking himself. I also have read that if you take one of his blankets and sleep with it yourself for a couple of nights it will have your scent on it that may help. They also have those positioners that will make him feel surrounded. It's never too early to let him nap in his crib to get him used to the new feel of it and he may like it better than the bassinet. Just a few suggestions...

We did the same thing and a month ago our now 9 month old, we had to put him into his car seat. For you it would be the bassinet,but where he naps at, you will have to baby step like we are doing. He got sick with a cold and we let him sleep with us in bed. He now will not sleep at night except with us. My advice since your baby is 2.5 years old. BREAK the habit of sleeping on you now before you end up like me. My little one sleeps in his car seat now for naps. I just rock him in the seat as he gets really tired or if I walk him around and he falls asleep. I put him down in it, he wakes up, but I rock him back to sleep. He cries but then goes back to sleep. He will sleep up to an hour. At first, he only did 30minutes. But it increases. . Baby will cry at first so get ready. YOU have to put him down in the bassinet. If cries, pick up, rock, then put back as baby gets sleepy. Crying will tire baby out and baby will fall asleep. Good Luck

This sounds exactly like what happened with my daughter (she is seven months now). When she was first born she slept in my arms at night and for many of her naps. Only recently ---within the last month, have we been able to really get her to sleep on her own in her crib for naps and at night. I suggest doing something sooner than later otherwise you are going to end up like me with a 6 month old that refuses to take naps anywhere but your arms. We had to let her cry it out (going in every 15 minutes to sooth her). It has taken weeks but we are finally starting to see some progress.

My three month old is a fantastic sleeper but we had to work on getting him out of our arms. For me I can nurse him to sleep and then lay him down. My husband can rock him to sleep and then lay him down. We do a tight swaddle at night with double blankets which really helps. For naps try a swing or the carseat. My son will sleep for 4 hour naps in either. Good luck. You need dome restvyourself. Hope your baby starts sleeping well for you.

Experts say that if you sleep with a tshirt or banket and place it in the babies' crib they will rest easier because they can still smell you.

sometimes the baby just starts to sleep alone after a while. It just wants to be near you and hear your heart beat.

Get this book: "No Cry Sleep Solution" by E. Pantley. Really great and helpful book.

No worries. You didn't mess up....you bonded...and that will serve him well through his entire life. Breathe.

He can still fall asleep on you and then move him to the side of you and he'll get use to the feeling of a bed/harder surface...but he's still feel you breathe, smell you and hear you. Thie transition might take a week or so, or less. Then move away by 6 inches or a foot....and continue that process.

Then you should be able to start getting his to sleep next to you and slowly change that if you want.

Our daughter who is 21 months, (we co-slept will all of our babies until about 19 months will all of them) just the past 2 nights, I have laid her down in her own bed and own room and she asks for a blanket....and puts herself to sleep. Our older boys sleep in the same bed. Who doesn't like to sleep alone???

They are all different....so listen to your intution about your own child. Good luck. Our transitions were easy....we were all ready, for the most part. ;)

Don't worry, an hour and a half nap at that age is good! Just keep letting him sleep in the bassinet and the crib and it will be fine. By about 4 months, if you slowly wean him off of rocking to sleep, you can start putting him down awake and he'll put himself to sleep. Just keep letting him get used to the crib. My daughter would only take short naps as a baby, and even in a swing would wake up after 30 minutes or so but slept well at night. All kids have their own patterns so don't worry.