Mean Day Care Teacher / My Job / My Daughter

Updated on October 18, 2012
M.J. asks from Plano, TX
17 answers

Ive been working at a day care center as an admin since July, and bring my 2 yr old daughter with me. Since the first day we walked in to the classroom I felt like we were intruding. They hardly address me, say good morning, and treat my daughter the same. The front desk where I work is in eye view and ear shot of her classroom, and Ive heard just about everyday since ive worked there, the teacher yell and bark orders at the children. Yesterday when they were waking up from nap i heard her yell "Get up!" in a tone of voice that was more like ordering live stock than talking to kids. I couldnt help but think, how would i feel being woke up in such a disrespectful and mean way?? These poor kids, and more importantly, MY poor kid! She has always been very sweet, a little on the quiet side, and very well behaved. As you can imagine now all those things have changed. When she comes home with me she says the things she hears all day long and it breaks my heart. Ive gone to the management several times and nothing is being done bout it. I cant stand my daughter being there for a minute longer but I need a job, and one that allows me to bring her with me so I can work. (I also dont get free child care. I have to pay 50% of regular tuition) so i guess im wondering if I should wait to find another job before I quit but who knows how long that might take. I am completely at my wits end and need some advice. Thanks!!

Also, I havent spoken directly with the teacher because after working in the child care field for 12 + years, ive learned that teachers will more times than not, take whatever you say purely as an insult and not mull over the validity of the complaint. I dont want my daughter treated any worse than she already is. management isnt very proactive and im tired of feeling like im just being over protective and bitching again.

Unfortunately the next class she would move into is pretty much the same, trust me Ive considered just sucking it up and dealing with it, but its so hard when I see the teacher welcome the other kids into the room, but when we get there barely a word is spoken. Its almost like, "i HAVE to be nice to those parents because they are actually paying me but you work here so we dont need to show any customer service whatsoever" Also, my daughter is sweet and causes no problems so why they wouldnt at least be nice when I drop her off is beyond me. We are having a management meeting today at 11 so i might get the opportunity to voice my concern as a parent and how its directly effecting my job performance in front of both the director and assistant director, as well as the center owner. Thank you again for all your responses so far!

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So What Happened?

**UPDATE**
hope this isnt long. well i went to both the director and assistant director and laid it all out. in a nutshell i said, as a parent i am extremely unhappy, and that is directly effecting my job performance. i gave specifics phrases etc to paint an accurate picture, and this is what i was told. "yeah parents either love her or hate her. you fall into the later group" well no freakin joke! i described seeing this teacher pick up another child being dropped off after us that wasnt even in her class and kissing her, telling her she looked pretty that day they said, yeah she does show favoritism .i said, no....in my book thats called good customer service, and if she treated my child like that even once during the day i might be more forgiving of her tone. the ONLY suggested course of action was to move my daughter to the other class. not address the teacher or issue. i honestly believe they are more concerned with having to hire new teachers if they let someone go so are willing to keep them bc at least they are regular staff members. unbelievable. AND the school just received "platinum" award status from corporate Quality Assurance reps. Huh?!

Featured Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

If I saw my child suffering like that I would switch day cares. I could never put money above my child's mental health and happiness.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

I quit a job I really liked at a daycare center because of the treatment/care my 2 year old was receiving. Choose what is best for her and find a new job. You've talked with management and nothing is going to change, move on.

M

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

M., start finding other possible places to work. If you don't live in a tiny town, surely there are other centers that allow you to bring your child for a discount.

At least try to find another place. Otherwise, the best thing I can think of is that soon she will be in the 3 year class with a different teacher...

Dawn

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T.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I worry about the fact that management has not taken action. If they are willing to ignore the demeaning way the teacher speaks to the children, what else are they choosing to overlook? I would absolutely look for alternative employment and daycare for your child.

Frankly I think I would go so far as to report this to the licensing bureau. In the very least they will investigate the teacher and center. Perhaps that will force management to actually do their damn job.

You only know how bad it is BECAUSE you work there and witness the behavior. Please think of all the unsuspecting parents out that entrust their children with this teacher. They have no idea what kind of damage is being done to their children on a daily basis.

I'm curious to know if their are surveillance cameras in the classrooms. Most centers have them now for their own protection and to give the parents peace of mind. Perhaps you could suggest to the owners and directors that they watch several days worth of footage of this teacher. If you can remember dates of specific incidents, give them those dates.

Peace and Blessings,
T. B

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

You definitely need to take this to the director and lay it all out plainly. Give specific examples that you've witnessed. Don't leave anything vague. Give specific dates, times, wording/phrases. Write it all down while it's fresh in your memory and as the incidents occur. Arm yourself with some facts, and you'll be more confident when you present your concerns.

Otherwise, they won't take it seriously and there likely won't be any changes. If you don't see immediate and lasting changes, I would give two weeks notice.

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

I drive a school bus. This is why:

The pay is not bad
I have the middle of the day off
If there's no school we don't work
Including-snow days
school vacations
summers
We can bring our kids to work with us
If we want extra work we can do field trips
I drive my daughters run so I see her walk into the school in the am and out of it in the pm.

And one of the best parts...I feel fierce driving that machine down the street. Being able to drive something that size is empowering!!

Just a little something for you to think about.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

I agree with Dawn.. Start looking for a new job now..

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E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Suck up to the daycare teachers by bringing coffee, treats, whatever you can afford. Maybe if you are in their face cheery with chocolate or whatever they'll treat your kid better. In the meantime look for new childcare and a new job. And an anonymous report to the childcare licensing office might help too.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I would look for another job. That environment is not healthy for your baby, and not healthy for you.

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S.R.

answers from Lincoln on

I would start looking for another job. Don't waste your time on this place. I used to work as a CNA in a nursing home and when i saw my co workers treating the elderly really bad i told them to stop. then when i went and told my charge nurse she just turned her head the other way. I couldnt stand seeing ppl being treated that way, so i quit. I would feel the same with this daycare place too. Once i went to p/u my son at daycare and the bathroom floor had pee on it so i went and told the director and she said "i know someone probably had an accident". I said "well you better go clean it up before some kids slips on the pee and you have two accidents". I dont think she liked that very well. Oh well. As far as treatment of my son, I think it is ok. I got mad at them about a month ago bc he came home with rash on his bottom (inside) and I know it was bc they were not helping him wipe when he went #2 so it was causing rash and not only that but his pants were on backwards. so the next day I asked them if they helped him wipe when he needs it and they said "no, we let them wipe themselves bc he has to learn and he also has to learn how to put on his pants the right way". Oh that infuriated me!! I said "well as his mother i am asking you to please help him wipe if he asks for it and please help him with his pants so they are put on right. You cannot expect a 3 yr old to be that good at it, he is still learning". I know they didnt like that either, but i dont care. I am paying a lot of freaking money for them to care for my child and they will do it right or else they will hear it from me. As of now they have done what i asked, but if they hadnt, i would have pulled him out. I wish you good luck in finding another job!

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Never quit one job until you have another job!

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E.W.

answers from Columbus on

Start looking for a new job and in the meantime, do everything you can to get her out of there.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.,

This is so upsetting. It is so sad that those children have to be treated like this. The other parents probably have no idea. It's very abusive.

I had a very similar situation with my son's 2's teacher. I worked at the preschool and witnessed so much of it. My husband and I spoke to the director. Nothing. My neighbor pulled her daughter out of the class. Nothing. The really disgusting thing about it was that this teachers class room was two doors from the directors office.

Any chance your daughter attends Riverside Church of Christ Butterfly School. Director, Kristi???

Is there any way you can sneak a tape recoder into or near the classroom? You have to have solid proof. As sick as this behavior makes me, after having proof, I would even send it to a news agency telling them that you have spoken to the director and she refuses to do anything about it.

It takes a special person to teach preschool. This teacher is obviously not one of them. She needs to be stopped.

Having lived it myself, it makes me so angry. I am sorry if I come off that way.

Good luck to you and those little ones.

P.s. I am reading some of your other responses. I see two issues I would like to address. One, simply removing your child and walking away without doing anything to help the other children would be irresponsible. It takes a village to raise a child. Two, you said that moving your daughter to another classroom would be the same. There is definitely something wrong with this preschool that they allow their children such awful treatment!!

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

You need to go to the teacher as a parent and if needed meet with the teacher and director together.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think you do need to speak to the director. Regardless of whether or not she's the child of an employee, your child deserves to be treated with love and respect. If they have an issue with you, that issue shouldn't be taken out on your child. If they have an issue with you bringing your child with you, then that should be addressed to the director, not taken out on the child.

Where my DD went to daycare, I had to be told which was the director's daughter because there was NO DIFFERENCE in how she was treated. Not better. Not worse. The same. If you are unhappy with the situation, then I would look for alternative care for your child, even if you keep the job. Your little one needs a safe place during the day and you need to be happy with her care, which you are not. Even if it's inexpensive or free, what is the cost to both of you emotionally?

The other thing I'd look for is how they handle the kids at the start/end of the day. Our daycare would group the kids and whatever teachers were left were the ones caring for all the kids during the sparse timeframe. So my DD might end up in the care of any of the teachers. Some I liked better than others, but none I was terribly concerned with. If you think that even if your DD moves on that she will have to encounter this teacher often, then I wouldn't even count on her moving to a new class to be better.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I'm sorry, but NO job is worth my kid getting mistreated.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would suggest that you go to the department of human services and find out if you can get child care assistance. If so then find out who takes the card and move your child to a different setting.

BUT if she's old enough that she'll be moving in a couple of months don't offend the business where you work.

What I mean to say is, if she's going to be moving to a great classroom in a couple of months on her birthday then let it go, make sure you're always nice to the teachers and stuff but make do. I had to do this when I started at a large chain center in administration, I hated her classroom. It was off the kitchen and the first one to be closed and the kids shuffled to other rooms as kids went home. I didn't like that it didn't have any floor surfaces except tile. The kids bathrooms for the whole center were in their classroom too. Think a very small cafeteria with a boys and a girls multi stall bathroom doors on one wall with a long wall mounted sink with multiple taps in it for hand washing between the doors.

I let it go though, she had about 4 different teachers during the day due to being shuffled around. I hated it but once she moved to the regular 3 year old classroom it was so much better. Those teachers were nice and she stayed in that classroom all day without moving anywhere else. She did get a different teacher in the afternoon so her morning and early afternoon teacher could go home but the high school student who came in was fresh, not tired, ready to play and have fun, just awesome.

So even though I hated the 2 year old over flow room area and some of the instability I stuck with it because the 3 year old room was just a couple of months away.

If your child just turned 2 I would move her tomorrow. I would just tell the director that you had to do this. That you could not allow her to be around those teachers. BUT this is going to upset them. I don't think you'd lose your job. It might be uncomfortable but if you focus on your job and your interaction with the parents you will do fine.

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