12 years ago (at age 51) my mom was dianosed with breast cancer. She had the one breast removed, no chemo, no radiation, the doctors got her fatty tissue from her side and tummy area and made her a new breast, complete with tattoo coloring and skin texturing for nipples. (No, I haven't seen this "fake" breast.) Well the past few weeks my mom has been in and out of doctor visits, biopsy, MRI, etc and has been diagnosed again with breast cancer, now in the other breast - the very least invasive and slow-growing kind of cancer - Praise God! She goes tomorrow to hear from the board what her choices are. She has told me, thinking that another masectomy is the way this one will turn out, "If they take this breast, I don't know if I want to do another re-build. It was very painful and took me three months to recover. I was miserable. I don't think it'll be a big deal just having the one breast. I don't think I'll really notice." to which I replied "You'll notice when you're in the shower or changing clothes, right?"
Those two thoughts (pain/recovery vs. psychological effect of one breast) have been a struggle for her, I believe. I am curious what you ladies have experience with. Did you opt to NOT get a rebuild and just wear a fake breast/built-in-bra breast? Do you regret your decision? My mom is now 63 and is in good energy and health. She works as a local tour guide and event coordinator. She is not feeble by any means. She is very social and enjoys having people over for a dinner party now and again. In October they are selling their home and moving into a different home (so that my be an issue if they want to do surgery in September).
and if y'all are going to ask - I did not get to see first-hand that her recovery was painful. I was a freshman in college, so I guess I was self-centered a bit and either didn't notice her pain, or she masked it, or for whatever reason, I didn't even know that it was such an awful recovery. I do live near her now, and my Dad is here living with her as well.
Yes, mom is 63, so I think she worries that if it was a long recovery at 51, then 63 will be harder. I fully support whatever she chooses. She knows that. She enjoys hearing my POV b/c I often give her an idea she hadn't considered (ie, "what if I look down and feel depressed to see I just have one breast?"). I asked this question just to see what others have heard/experienced and how it affected them. I will pass along any info y'all post on here. Abbie - she will crack up when she hears that one! And yes Suzanne, a lumpectomy may be what she chooses. Dad said he thinks she'll chose masectomy though. And as of today, we don't even know what the doctors will recommend, so we'll see!
NEW UPDATE: Well she has chosen to do the masectomy with reconstruction. The plastic surgeon explained to her a technique that will require her to be in the hospital for 1 or 2 days tops. She is very happy with this choice. They basically told her "What are you hoping for, what are you thinking you want to do?" and she said "I want to do whatever it takes to NOT be back here a third time with a third diagnosis of breast cancer." Her surgery is on Sept 26th - just a few weeks!
My step-grandmother had breast cancer around your mother's age and she opted for the prosthetic. She never felt self conscious about it. In fact, she loved to sew and found it really handy to use as a pin cushion - which freaked everybody else out! LOL
Not sure if she has considered this yet but she may go through some back/neck/shoulder pain with the weight difference. I noticed this when I had my left breast removed. You wouldn 't think the slight difference in weight would matter but it does. I never wore a prosthetic so I don't know how that would factor in. Once my expander was filled it got better though.
Two more things for her to keep in mind- she might have a completely different experience with the second reconstruction. Mine has been really easy actually. Physical therapy is a must -I wish they would make it mandatory for MX recovery. Also-if she really doesn't like it she can always have it done later. It is easier if the expander goes in right away but I can't see why you couldn't get it done seperately.
I would go to www.breastcancer.org and ask on their breast reconstruction forum. I guarantee you that you will get a ton of first hand experience answers. That site is the very best there is for breast cancer and their community forum members are super nice and helpful.
I had a mastectomy and a tram flap reconstruction 9 years ago, at 35. The tram flap is awesome. Unfortunately, if I were to get cancer in the other breast, I could not have the same type of reconstruction, but I'd definitely opt for reconstruction. If she had a pedicle tram flap, where the flap is actually made from the abdominal muscle, she can't have the exact same reconstruction. There would be no more muscle to use. She could have a different type of flap, or she could do an implant. She can also opt to have the mastectomy without immediate reconstruction, live with it for a while and then if she decides she hates not having anything, getting reconstruction at a later time if her insurance covers it. Good luck to your mom.
my co-worker and close friend lost both breasts at age 29. She had prosthetics. She was married at the time, and her husband said he didnt mind them and that he loved her as she was. She was never self conscious, or embarrassed by them. When very intoxicated she often took them out and passed them around as a joke. When her husband left her for a younger, healthier wife a year after the surgery, she still didnt mind them. It was only when she get back into the dating world did she start to want the surgery. She did go through it and regretted every single moment. So many infections and pain. She wish she had not. Her new husband is very good to her and loves her for who she is with or with out her breasts. They have now been married for 15 years.
Your mom may change her mind in time. Right now she remembers what she went through the first time around. Also moving some of the fat from other parts of the body to make a new breast may have been more than she was expecting. I had a friend do this and they took fat from her tummy and moved it around through the inside of the body and it was abouth three months before she could stand up straight without pain.
Remember this is what your mom wants to do. She may also chose to get the fake weighted bra to wear so that she is not lop-sided.
Be a support for her. The emotional rollercoaster may begin sooner or later than you expect. I hope that she gets moved into her new home before she has surgery.
You both will be in my thoughts. I didn't do the mastecomy as I wasn't ready emotionally to loose the breast. Instead I did a lumpectomy which was the best thing for me. This is a personal choice by the patient.
My best to you both.
The other S.
So here's the thing...
She can try the prostehthic breast for awhile. And if she finds that she doesn't care for how she feels with it, she can have the artifical breast put in.
I don't see this as a "one or the other" situations. It's a decision where she can try one direction first, if she wants. That's the beauty of plastic surgery in a scenario like this.
I have a friend that just went through dble breast reconstruction.. the nipples and the tattoos.. She is not even 50, she says it was way better than she had been told to expect. I think like Mallory is saying, things have gotten a lot better in these last years.
But whatever your mom decides, just support her. I am sending her good thoughts.
Now that I am 53 and less (not totally) vain, I would not undergo ANY MORE surgery. I have implants. I would go flat and get the padded bras. Your mom may feel as I do due to her age and that she has a loving hubby.
Both of my grandmothers wear a prosthetic when they go out but around the house don't. You can't even tell the difference. If it was really painful she shouldn't put herself through that again. Now a days it's even more acceptable to have a prosthetic than in the past. I even know of women who do neither. Tell her not to put herself through the pain and get a prosthetic or a bra with built in and embrace her battle scar. She's a survivor and sounds like an awesome woman.
The fake ones are very very heavy. The one lady that I took care of in a facility would bend over so far when she put it on. She finally decided to just go flat on one side.
iI think with her age I would do the least intrusive surgery to prohibit her from doing so much anesthesia. She can always opt to put it on only when she's going somewhere like church or out to eat with friends.
No personal experience. I have followed a young mother's blog who had volunteer double mastectomy. I going to guess her age is about late 20's. She opted for a rebuild and this poor girl has encountered infection after infection in her body since September of last year. She has been in and out of several different hospitals and had several different surgeons. Months after the initial surgery, she finally announced she was having the nipples removed because that could be the source of cancer cells. She tried not to have it done, but finally decided she needed to do it.
For the amount of pain this poor girl encountered to try to keep what we know as feminine, I don't think it is worth it. If your mother is 63 and knows first hand what she is talking about, let her make her own decision.
I work the SGK Race for the Cure of Southern Nevada every year. There are several woman who elected the removal only and appear to be perfectly happy with it.
