What to Give a Friend Having a Double Mastectomy?

How considerate of you. My best friend had a mastectomy; she didn't have a lot of pain but I would think that pain would be an individual thing so some people might have a lot, some not so much. I do remember she had limited mobility with her arm at first as some tissue had been removed under her arm.

I'm not great with gifts but some sort of relaxing foot bath or lotion might be nice. Inspirational books or books and movies to make her laugh will put her in a positive frame of mind.

When a family friend had this surgery, we brought over a basket of magazines and some word finds and sudoku and food... she actually had a 'bra burning party' for herself beforehand, LOL, put all her old bra's that she wouldn't need anymore, hung them on a small tree in their yard, and lit the sucker on fire. It was shocking, but extremely funny and good humored on her end!

I would also leave a note letting her know you'll watch the boys if she ever needs a little time. It's not just about her body healing, she's going to need time to literally grieve over the loss of what is a huge piece of womanhood and femininity to a lot of ladies. Giving her time to get her head back on straight is probably the greatest gift of all.

I can't say exactly what her recovery will be like, as it depends on whether she's had reconstruction and what kind. When I was recovering from my mastectomy and tram flap reconstruction, best gift items were groceries/meals, a nice throw blanket, pillows!, scarves for when I started chemo, pampering products (I gave myself a mani with a new polish before every chemo). I didn't (and still don't) use any apps, ipads, etc so I can't help you there. Phone cards, gift cards to restaurants that have take out are good choices too. One of the best gifts that I got were a bunch of bras from the gap that another mastectomy/reconstruction friend picked out for me, but you'd have to know specifically what to get. If she doesn't mind the pink ribbon stuff, a piece of survivor jewelry is also nice, I treasure mine.
My thoughts are with your friend for her recovery and future health, wishing her strength.

You could take her two small pillows like you use when you travel (one for each side). If you can find a garter belt or something similar get that so that she can pin her drains to it when she takes a shower. This will keep the drains from hanging and pulling on the stitches. She will feel like she has a basketball under each arm -- this is normal. If she feels like crying it is normal and let her do that. Just sit and listen, give no advice, just be there for her. Another thing you can get her is a journal so that she can write down what she feels. Once the surgery and things are completed she may want to read it she may want to put it away for a later date/time in her life --- that's okay.

Another thing would be is to contact your local Cancer Society to get in touch with a Reach to Recovery person who will visit your friend at home. Post me if you need any info.

Your friend has entered into a new life and a new world. There will be changes in her priorities and her dreams (what was important isn't and wasn't is). It is scary but she will pull through and make it.

The other S.
Breast Cancer Survivor 14 years
Reach to Recovery Representative

When my aunt had a mastectomy my mom and I went to the mall and got her a bunch of bath and body products and a really cute night gown. I think the best was on the card my mom put something like, "you will always be beautiful"

As Rachel D. mentioned she will grieve the loss of her womanhood. I can not even imagine what it is like and my thoughts go out to your friend. You are a great friend for being there for her!!! Your support will probably be the greatest gift of all!!! Good luck to her! :-)

My friend just had a single and is doing chemo now. I took her one of those neck pillows that feels like a mini bean bag. Some friends gave her a lap blanket (hand made). She takes both to the treatment center. She said they really help.

God bless you and your friend!

Very nice of you to be helping her so much!

Since you are already set on helping with meals, childcare, and chores, why not get her a giftcard to somewhere she can get pampered when she feels well enough? Manicure, pedicure, facial? During her recovery I'd also get her a pretty potted plant, flowering. Something that will be bright and cheery to look at. Some of her favorite snacks or treats?

The best way to help when someone's recovering seems to be just asking them, "what would you normally do today?" And then do it.
Best wishes to you and your friend, I hope she heals quickly!

chapstick. Is she going to be going through chemo/radiation? Aquaphor. how about some cool bandanas/scarfs? how about really nice pillow case? or loungewear? She probably wont be able to lift up her arms-so something comfy that wraps, or buttons up the front. she is going to want to lounge.

What a great friend you are! I have 0 experience, but I would think anything to help her maintain her femininity (sp?) Would be uplifting. I also loved the book idea, she could download the kindle app and have any book she wants at her finger tips. If you think funny would help, Janet Evanovich writes a hilarious serious about a bounty hunter named Stephanie Plum. I literally laugh out loud when I read her books.
I hope all goes well with the surgery and that she heals quickly, both physically and mentally.

What a incredibly sweet and thoughtful friend you are to not only want to help your friend but to reach out to others to get ideas. I am currently recovering from a double mastectomy and am doing quite well. I read everyones responses and they are all on target. Each person is different in how they respond and recover from the surgery. All the gift ideas mentioned are awesome, you can't go wrong with any of them. I have been so blessed with dinners being brought, flowers, sweet cards, visit from friends, gifts such as candles, lotions, jewelry, magazines, even art work and wall plaques. I wish your friend a quick and smooth recovery as well as a long and healthy life. God Bless you!!

Hello, My sister just had a masectomy last week. Not a double. She was sent home the next day and when I saw her, she looked tired. However, she said that she really didn't have the kind of pain she expected. She seems to be doing very well considering. Her surgeon told us after the surgery that he was more concerned about the emotional part of it. So far, she is doing well with that, too. This on top of her husband having a stroke a few months ago that he has still not completely recovered from and can't walk. Plus, we lost our father a few months ago, so I think she is doing very well.
I wish your friend good health.
K. K.

When a friend of mine had this done, she had a problem with drainage and had to wear a huge gown with tubes and such underneath. I''m sure for your friend, she may enjoy a nice loose dress/gown that looks nice (doesnt look like a moo-moo) but is loose and easy to put on/take off. I would think that the first week or two, mobility and movement is limited, so I think a dress/gown that looks beautiful would be nice.

Everybody's experience to surgery is different, since everyone have different thresholds for pain, emotional, etc..
I presently work with seniors and a couple of years ago, I assisted someone who underwent a mastectomy and was all alone no family. I was really expecting her to be in a lot of pain and really depressed; she wasn't. She was ready to go out for coffee and tried to move into daily living activities right away.
Be prepared for the worse with your friend; lots of pain and sleeping a lot and if she's not all the better for everyone.
Now as for what gift to consider, how about a book club membership, for her to download e-books. It will be the gift that keeps on giving.
All the best and a speedy recovery to your friend