Leaving My Children for a Trip???

Dear B.,

I don't believe it is selfish to "fill your own cup" once in awhile. You must be good to yourself before you can be good to those in your life. It sounds like you would really enjoy going to this workshop, so go! Your children will most certainly live for 4 nights and days without you. If you didn't have good back-up childcare, that would be a different story. I bet those grandparents are just itchin' to get their hands on the children alone for awhile to spoil them. Children get alot out of learning that when people leave, they DO come back. I left my daughter when she was 9 months old to go on a "girl trip" with a bunch of friends. I made a deal with myself to not feel guilty, because we both needed a break. My husband handled it beautifully and when he had to go to work, his parents kept her. She bonded with all of them more and I came back refreshed. Give yourself a break and go have some fun! Good luck, B.

Well I am kinda going through the same thing that you are. My 4 year old is with me all the time, hardly ever get away from him (except when he goes to his dads) but as far as vacons, i've never left him for a period of time. This year my bf and I are going to the outter banks in NC for a week. It is an all adult vacation so i cant take him. He is going to be staying with his father (I think) and i'm feeling kinda weird about leaving him. I mean as a child we went on vacation with my parents every year, they never left us behind. My way of thinking though is...PARENTS NEED BREAKS AWAY FROM THEIR KIDS. I would enjoy your time away, yes you are going to miss the little boogers, but this is time for you. You have wonderful people here at home that will tend to your little ones and so you wont have to worry. Your 9 mth old will be just fine without mommy for 4 days. Enjoy yourself!!
JMO

Hi B.--

I think that you should go. Its not selfish of you at all to want to go to a workshop. Take it from me its not that hard leaving for a few days. Some times every mom just needs to get away. I am a single mommy of Ava who is almost 2 years old and I have left her with my parents multiple times for the weekend and with my cousin overnight. You don't want to be the type of mom who follows her kids to kindergarten! I would definitely go and have a great time and know taht your kids are in great hands! Have fun!!

I do not think there is anything wrong at all to taking a trip away...in fact I think it is healthy! It sounds like you have a great support system to help you out in your absence and it's not like you are planning on leaving your kids with strangers! It is difficult to do, but you will survive and so will they! Go and have fun! No need for guilty feelings!

I say go ahead and go!!! You need sometime for yourself! Would their Daddy think twice about going on a business trip? Between your their Daddy and their grandparents the kids will be fine! Mommies need their own time, time away makes Mommy a better Mommy....thats my opinion anyways!

I am also a teacher and my daughter is in day care during the day. I love coming home to her every evening and I miss her during the day. But I also know the joy of taking time for myself. Being around kids all day long and then coming home to two more (daughter and husband) can sometimes take a toll. Take the four days and enjoy time for yourself. Even if it is a workshop. Call home while you are gone, but ENJOY grown-up time!!!!

i understand your dilemma. i found and find myself in the same boat with 2 daughters now 5 and 9 and yet i still have issues even leaving them for an evening outing.
ultimately i have found that it is more difficult for us to be gone than them to stay without us. especially in your case when you seem to have such a great support system. it sounds you want to go. GO! you will miss them and them you but ultimately all will benefit and you will return happy with a new attitude and they will appreciate you that much more!

i'm the opposite. i can't wait to go on my "me" vacation once a year. i just go off for a few days by myself, be it a conference or a religous thing. i also do a girls night out once a month, plus a solo night out once a month. my children are well cared for. me having me time makes me a better parent and person. go, enjoy, relax!

I guess from your note that you are not currently teaching snd leaving your children in day care. That said, please know that most all mothers have trouble leaving their children. It looks like you have very competent caregivers standing by. My suggestion is to feel guilty if you must, but once you are at the workshop immerse yourself in that activity. You will find that you are more of a "full" person doing things that improve you and your chosen field, even if you are not currently working. Your children benefit from having a mother who is not totally absorbed by their caregiving. For some it is relaxing to be able to focus on self-improvement of whatever sort. Your children will be in good hands.

You are not being selfish at all! Time away from our children can be a good thing for everyone involved. Knowing you have such a wonderful support system should ease your mind...some people are not so fortunate!

It sounds like the workshop will help your teaching career...there is nothing wrong with wanting to do that. Your children are blessed to have such a caring mother who doesn't want to be away from them. I believe it is a good thing for kids to have time away from their parents now and then. It helps them to be more independent as they grow.

Don't beat yourself up...
Make sure to bring both your children back a gift...it's fun shopping for a "Missed you while I was away" gift for the kiddos, even the hubby!!

Again, do what you feel is right for you and your family...but don't feel like you are a bad mom because you decide to go...you are not! You are a good mom, wife, person!!

God Bless!
D. :)