Leaving Curling Iron and Flat Iron on Multiple Times.

Updated on February 04, 2013
K.J. asks from Alden, IL
29 answers

Have a 16 yr old Sophomore in H.S. In past, she's left either her curling iron on all day when leaving in morning for school, or one of her flat irons. Typically, they are left angled down in the sink (prob not going to catch on fire there), but once left curling iron sitting on the plastic seat of the toilet lid, and left a HUGE "curling iron shaped" melt spot 1/4 inch deep. Once left on floor on towel. Previous consequences -- just last week, was what she had been told... The next time it happens you lose appliances for 2 full days. If it happens again, you lose for 3, etc. TODAY was the first day she got it back, and sure enough!!! Curling iron left plugged in and turned ON!! Losing my mind! Talked w/ her about fire hazard for our own house, but also pointed out -- as she's a Sophomore -- in a couple years, she'll be at college living in a dorm with no Mom to remind her. Asked her pointedly, "what happens if you burn down your dorm?" Apparently, that did no good either. SUGGESTIONS??????? Please!!!

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So What Happened?

Little update -- Or "add-to" regarding my opinion of feeling like the problem is solved with just an auto shut-off. Yes, that would solve the problem of her inattentiveness and current irresponsibility of leaving them on and plugged in. But still need to change her habit, as when (2 yrs) she's in college w/o me checking up on her -- she may need to buy a new appliance and go the cheaper route and replace it with one that isn't auto shut-off. I think the more important issue is teaching her responsibility and consequences. Really like person's comment about driving a 2000 lb car, but can't be responsible for unplugging.... Shame on me as the parent.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

It's time for her to buy new equipment with autoshut off. Make her pay for it or earn the money to buy it.

5 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

fire hazards are not acceptable. i would have a few choice words to say about being old enough to drive but not to be trusted with appliances, and take them away. a pity, but there it is.
you cannot risk a fire.
khairete
S.

4 moms found this helpful

M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I say take them away for good and let her use rollers (the velcro ones). She can use a blow-dryer to heat the hair. They come in various sizes. Or she can use her friends' irons at school before going to class. I bet those would get unplugged - unless the friend's OK with leaving her iron at school.

2 moms found this helpful

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☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yeah, that was me in high school. I once lost the curling iron "privilege" for a month (I was a repeat offender). Almost killed me, I was so "into" curling my hair every day. One month w/out it and I never did it again. Two days ain't nothing!! :)

8 moms found this helpful

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

I would pull the curling iron and flat iron for at least a month. I would not cave in once. When she gets it back if its happens again.. its gone for good.

Yes she needs to figure it out now. I know some don't think its a huge deal.. but a couple of years ago a friend of mine forgot to turn off her flat iron and went out for the night. 3 hours later she got a call from her mom that the fire dept was at her house and her house was on fire.

They think a towel had fallen on the flat iron or was too close to it and caught the towel on fire and that started a chain reaction. 60% of her house was destroyed by the fire. 100% of the house was affected by the smoke/ soot and the water to put the fire out. She lost EVERYTHING in her house. What wasn't burnt was ruined by the effects of the fire/ water. That means all of her stuff, the kids stuff, all of the pictures, memories.. everything gone and all because of a flat iron left on.

I would treat leaving these on just as serious as catching your child playing with a lighter or matches... the end result can be just as serious and dangerous.

7 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

I left my expensive Chi on, not realizing that I didn't turn it off, and it stopped working. I had to buy another expensive Chi.

The best thing you can do is to let her go without both. Throw them BOTH out. She has NO incentive to stop doing this. You'll just give it back. Why should she care? She only has to go 3 days without it.

She is going to burn down the house like this. Enough pussyfooting around. Make her earn the money to buy another one of each. THAT will stop her from leaving it on, and it will stop you from losing your house.

Dawn

7 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

No more curling/flat iron use until she buys her own with the shut-offs. Period. She is too young to want to understand that if she burns the house down, there may be no money for college.

Personally, the melted toilet seat would need to be replaced, too. And ditto JB- leaving those things in the sink? Too scary.... way too easy to get electrocuted on accident. Find another, safer way for her to use them. But do get the automatic shut-offs. (I never would have been given this many 'chances' by the way. Taking it away for just a day works for her, but it sure isn't working for you. Just make it *gone* until she chooses to get with the program.)

6 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would have her buy a replacement for the seat she burned. I would also sit down with her and talk to her about what she needs to do to remember to turn them off or you will take them, as they are a safety hazard to the entire household. Sometimes the kid can come up with things like using a timer or a note on the door or whatever to resolve a problem like this. If she fails to come up with something that works, then I'd remove them entirely.

My SD likes to burn candles but the day I walked by her room and realized she'd left one burning was the last day she could burn candles in her room, period. My great aunt nearly died in a fire that burned down her whole house because of a candle.

If your DD doesn't allot enough time for all she needs to do and THAT is the issue, then maybe she needs to get up earlier or do prep work the night before. My SD took her showers at night so she'd have one less thing in the AM.

6 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

As far as consequences...not sure there. Clearly what you're doing isn't working...

But I did want to tell you that they make irons that auto-shut off. I have one from Revlon...not sure what she uses. But it's designed to prevent this exact thing from happening.

Good luck in whatever you figure out.

6 moms found this helpful

J.O.

answers from Boise on

You're idea of responsibility is arguing over turning off a curling/flat iron? There is a solution it's called auto shut off. Then you go on about it '2' years she will be in college without you to follow behind her.

Most colleges require any appliances brought into the dorm with them to have auto shut off. I have to wonder why...because everyone make the mistake of not turning stuff off. So instead they decided that safety first...lessons later.

You are making a mountain out of a molehill. Ever heard the saying to pick your battles, well this is the perfect time to not pick a battle and get the auto-shut off appliances.

6 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Well my 15 yo has a flat iron that shuts off automatically if not used for 20 mins. Problem solved.

Sometimes I leave the coffee pot on. Thank God no one grounds me for it! Luckily, it also has auto shut off in 45 mins.

:)

5 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Boston on

We had this issue with my SD. Her first offense we lectured her but then a few months later did the same thing. The second was losing the appliance for a MONTH. Third offense was losing them permanently. We haven't had a third offense.

Just take them away at this point, for at least a month. "Angled down in the sink" means that she has an electrical appliance plugged in and turned on near water. That's incredibly stupid and dangerous as well!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I'm 33.

I solved that problem with automatic shutoff AND hooks on my walls. As in they hang up (not gonna burn anything), and shut themselves off (neither burning, nor power draining).

I'm ADHD.

There are battles I choose not to fight with myself.

I CANNOT do certain things, even if my life depended on them... And some things I can only do SOMEtimes.

- I set an alarm in the morning (even though my grandparents swore if I REALLY cared, I would get myself up in the morning without one).

- I spend extra for appliances that shut themselves off

Etc.

Problem solved.

5 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

My older daughter did that when she was around that age. All I did was tell her she has to use them in the master bath since she can't remember to turn them off. After a week she swore she would never forget again and she didn't.

I guess teens don't like that much family togetherness. :p

Oh, she graduated from college last spring. I am happy to say she did so without burning down buildings. :)

One more thing, the times she forgot were always the times she went in her room for something and realized she was running late. That was always my daughter's trigger.

4 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Since she can't handle an on/off switch, only let her use appliances which turn them selves off automatically after a period of time.
It's called an auto shut off feature.

http://www.amazon.com/Instant-Heat-Curling-Iron-1-Inch/dp...

As far as punishment goes, she should pay for and replace what she has damaged.

Yes. Responsibility is something she needs to learn.
But I would NOT risk the house burning down trying to teach that to her.
I mean yeah - coming home to a smoldering ruin would certainly teach her a lesson - but the price of that lesson is too high for me.
Perhaps she should speak with some people at your local fire station who can maybe show her some graphic pictures of the results of 'little' mistakes like this.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

Does she have a reminder on the mirror. I know it sounds juvenile, but write out or print out an index card sized checklist for her. When she gets it down, she'll use it less.

Also, we have key electrical outlets connected to the light switch for this very reason - when you turn the light out, it cuts power to the outlet. Has saved my butt with the straightener more than once. A

Re: consequences. I'd put taking it away for months (forever??) on the table and make her buy her own AND if those are left on - they too are subject for removal.
good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

G.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I agree with J.B.,and why would it be so hard to unplug after she is finished, responsibility is the key..what else is she doing when you aren't around watching her. I have a friend whose daughter has a two year old but when she was at the crawling stage pulled the Chi by the cord and burned her foot so bad she has to have plastic surgery, she was very fortunate not to have burned her face.. The mother has two older children and is a teacher but just got distracted and didn't think. Accidents do happen but so many can be preventable. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

I'm with mom2many on this one. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Yes, she will be in college in 2 years and will have to be able to do this on her own. There are many, many, many other things that she will need to work on in the next 2 years. You can't freak out about them.

When she was 3 and needed to learn to use the potty, did you really agonize about every accident thinking, "Oh my gosh! How are we going to figure this out in 2 years?" You probably had a moment where you wondered if she would ever get it, but I'd bet you anything she did not go to her first day of Kindergarten wearing a diaper!

Just keep working with her. Try to keep in mind that she's 15 or 16 and isn't going to give you the satisfaction of knowing that she really does know she screwed up. She's going to say, "Oh, Mom, you worry too much," when inside she's probably saying, "Oh, fudge, why do I keep doing that?"

Remember that there are something she's just going to have to learn the hard way. Yes, hopefully she learns this one before she burns down her dorm room! If she really has trouble remember, it will probably be something more along the lines of melting one of her roommates cd's and having to replace it.

Hang in there. I know you're p/o'd right now, but this really is a battle that just isn't worth this amount of energy.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I dunno.
But my daughter is 10. She has a curling iron. Which she knows how to use. And... she UNPLUGS it when she is done.
Then she puts it away.
I don't have to nag her about it.
She just does it.
Because, she knows the ramifications of it if she leaves it on... fire hazard etc. and something will get burned and she has a younger brother in the house.

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I.:.

answers from Minneapolis on

Set a daily reminder on her phone to go off just before she usually leaves the house. Have it say "check that irons are turned off right now! Fire hazard!"

2 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

A few options:
1. Take them away permanently, not just for two days.
2. Put a HUGE sign on the bathroom door, front door, or her bedroom door (depending on whether she keeps the bathroom door closed or not, and where she goes when she's finished) that says in huge letters "DID YOU TURN THE IRON OFF?" Make it so big she can't miss it, even as she gets used to it being there over time.
3. Does she have a cell phone? Does she do her hair at the same time every day? If both answers are yes, have her set an alarm on her phone at the time she finishes her hair to remind her to turn it off.

Seriously though, if she can't figure out a way to be responsible with them, she is not old enough to use them.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

is she like this with all her responcibalities ?or is it this one thing she is having trouble with? If so then yes purchase a auto shut off. if not and she isnt responcible with anything then i would take away a LOT of things. I think I would bring her back to reality and do a major fix on the situatons. Like bringing her back to blue jeans and white t-shirts, plain shoes, only brushing her hair and fixing it to a pony tail, no gadgets either. You know like it was when she dressed and had no social life to speak of from the days of elemntary school. Once she starts bringing the trash out, dishes or what ever else then she can work her way back to earning her hot irons back. If its just the hot irons -relax, is she making great grades? turining in her home work? If she is mostly a great kid ... help her help herself with auto turn off and placing the iron in a safe place. Metal basket attached to counter? Somewhere it can cool safely and she remembers about that step too not just leaving it on the counter. I would also consider reminding her every day till she is sick of you. like all day long tell her text her and remind her" unplug the iron" at dinner, dropping off just say it all day till she cant stand it anymore and remembers!!!

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L.R.

answers from Chicago on

As your daughter is 16 years of age and not a toddler...now is the time to take away the curling wand and other appliances. I would rather have peace of mind and not worry if my house is burned down when I return home from work especially for something which I stressed repeatedly. I realize my response might sound cruel and strict but believe me...I too was in the same situation not too long ago. L Harper

1 mom found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

What time does she leave? Put a reminder in her phone that pops up 10 minutes before she leaves every day.

Also, require that she unplug them, not just shut them off. It's easy to just pull the plugs out of the wall and you'll know for sure they're off.

Here's another option: An organizer to place tools into that keeps them off and away from everything else. I think this is a good thing to have...here's an example, but there are TONS of options out there (wall mount, counter mount, in the cabinet, etc. http://www.amazon.com/Conair-Pro-Electrified-Appliance-Ho...

1 mom found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a hard time remembering these things AND have many appliances with auto shut off. I didn't intentionally get them this way but that is how they come. What I would do is make a checklist that includes turning off the curling iron and/or flat iron. This should be on the door or somewhere she sees before she goes out the door to leave. Even if she THINKS she's turned it off, she needs to go back and check. If she's not willing to do this then I would BAN the hair appliances. This is serious, she could start a fire and probably doesn't think that is possible since she has gotten away with it a few times.

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N.H.

answers from Peoria on

Well if it were me, and my daughter was "old enough to know better" and her curling iron was left on the toilet seat (or anything else that melted) which caused a melted spot, I'd make her pay for a new toilet seat (or whatever the damaged item was). Perhaps that will help her be mindful of turning off or unplugging the curling iron.

You can also let her know of the damaged done & possible hazzards leaving a curling iron on can do & let her know she can't use them anymore until she can learn to turn them off/unplug them herself.

If this is not something you prefer doing, you can also swap the irons out for some that turn off automatically if constant reminders but in the long run, if she gets older & out on her own...will this teach her responsibility? Having irons w/auto timers may help the situation right now but think long term & if she will be responsible in the future. Hope this helps! Good luck!!

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

There actually was a dorm fire when I was in college. Caused by...yep, a curling iron left on. I'm not sure how many rooms or floors it affected, but it was obvious from the outside for a long time.

I don't have suggestions other than letting her know they DO cause fires, maybe finding articles/videos and making her read them. Perhaps you could also fine her for each occurence. Make the fine be a little uncomfortable so she'll think twice.

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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

I think I would attempt to make a new habit...she must unplug the curling iron. The way to start this would be a sign on the door like the other poster suggested AND you reminding her - "did you turn off the iron?". If she can't remember ask her to walk into the bathroom and check. Be a broken record. It will become an automatic habit eventually but I think you'll need to remind her for a while. The difference with unplugging the iron versus turning it off is that you can see from far away that it is turned off and it's a bigger behavior than just turning the switch. Eventually it will become a muscle memory - automatic. Good-luck.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If she is doing her hair at the same time you are home you need to make her go and check it with you watching each and every morning. This way you are right there making sure she gets in the habit of checking it.

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