JFF - Read Mine and Share Yours! Tips for Nutritious Eating Habits for Kids!

I feel bad for you son. Basically you are force feeding him what you want him to eat...you "offer" only a veggie to him, he doesn't want it, so he gets nothing. Then he'll be nice and hungry for the meal because he didn't get a snack. And then the meal is lentils or sardines...yummy! NOT.

This is not realistic as when he gets older and goes to school, friends houses, out to eat, then what? He's probably going to gorge on everything he isn't "supposed" to have or used to having. So you may be creating a bigger problem when he's older, even on his own.

I hope it works out for you but I don't see anything wrong with everything in moderation. Good luck.

wow! what a smart mom! wish i'd been that smart when my boys were small.
my tip was to do nutrition unit studies with them when they were tweens, and then wait for them to decide to make their own healthy choices. i pretty much blew it when they were small and i had more control.
my older still runs screaming from anything green. my younger is a foodie and loves everything, but is very conscious about making good choices most of the time.
:) khairete
S.

Your tips are great and many are common sense from European type families who serve just 3 square meals a day. That's what I grew up on. 3 meals a day and no snacking. We were all very thin and athletic and healthy as children.

As adults, not so much, I think by our parents controlling our food intake at that level backfired as everyone enjoys a little treat (chocolate / ice cream) once in a while. And the ability to control the desserts later in life was a classic pendulum of overdoing it with learning to eat in moderation.

My concern about your post is that you are clearly hyper focused on food and food intake and food amounts and controlling food portions, and you can successfully do that while feeding just one kid. But with multiple children and multiple competing schedules, carving out 3 meal times a day that one person oversees is impossible. I guarantee you those times will change out of necessity as extra-curricular schedules are included. And the calories will have to be ramped up if your son ever joins a sport.

Also the nutritional needs of a 3 yo versus teenage children growing and in the throws of puberty and competitive sports is vastly different. So keep an open mind to what his body really needs versus what he compliantly eats to make you happy.

It is good that your child is eating but there is no way I would be so controlling and manipulating over my child.

Right now, it works for you but just wait until he is older and forms his own opinions, values, makes choices.... What will you do to control him then.

This has the potential to blow up in your face when he is a teen. Just beware.. Allow your child to be a child. Children do not need to have every detail of their food intake or daily activity micromanaged.

As for the food.. I don't buy junk, never did. If we do eat something the is not on the best choice list, we don't eat it at our house.

MODERATION and BALANCE

I get your intentions and think they are great, however, as other said, keep an open mind. As you son gets older and spends time at friends' houses, your control over his food intake will change. If he is not taught how to make good food choices for himself, you will have a problem. My son's friend was micromanaged with his food--his mom is hyper-alert to food portions, scheduled meal times, veggies, limited snacks, etc. When he comes to our house, he is allowed to snack when he wants to as my kids are, and he gorges himself on "junk food" type stuff that my kids rarely even choose to eat though it is available to them with little restriction. A package of Chips Ahoy, for example, normally lasts 3-4 weeks in our house. If he visits, he'll eat half the package. I don't really care, it just makes me feel bad for him. If I set out fruit, eggs, and muffins for breakfast, he will eat 3 large muffins first or two large bagels. So I would just focus on how to make good choices, balance, and moderation.

I'm with TF and Julie S. This may be working for you now because he is 3. Just wait until he goes off to camp or school, and he sees what is 'normal' and what his friends are doing. As he grows and becomes more independent he will gain his voice, and you may have a battle on your hands. Don't battle over food.

While I understand what you are trying to accomplish (I know this book), I
don't think it needs to be used quite like you are implementing.
Kids can eat healthy w/o us parents totally forcing control.
Every single child on this planet is different.
Their moods, likes, dislikes, body compositon, health etc.
So it's best to model good behavior, have healthy choices in the house &
tailor as such to each individual child. For example, some kids are more
active than others & burn more calories becoming hungry more often,
etc.
Just make well balanced meals at regulars times of the day that works
w/your child's "rising" time. For ex, if your child wakes at 6am (poss
breakfast at 7am, lunch at noon, dinner at 4 or 5 with a healthy snack
in between including one after dinner before bedtime.
The word "snack" has a negative, unhealthy connotation in this country
but it doesn't have to.
Always be a bit flexible.
You need to feed your child when he's hungry not just when YOU think
he should be. Different metabolisms require different eating times &
frequencies.
I give choices, I put healthy food into all of my meals (shredding carrots &
zucchini into my meatloaf etc.) & we have a happy, healthy household.
Be a bit looser, be patient, be kind, be healthy, be a role model etc.
I, also, make a lot of recipes/meals w/vegetable purees & bake w/fruit
purees.
I like that you have opened up a bit of dialogue on this subject. Have a great day.

Really? because I didn't need a book to get my kids to eat vegetables. They have just always been part of their diet. I have never had to stave my kids into liking them, they just like them!

This is totally bizarre to me! You have made vegetables a punishment!! You cannot eat anything you like until you eat your vegetables. You cannot even eat a meal unless the vegetables are first! Holy cow!!

My kids eat what the like the best last, as I do, sometimes, most of the time, vegetables are last. We love them, we have always loved them, they have always just been part of the meal.

My new neighbors were over for dinner and asked, do your kids graze? I keep seeing them dart out the back door, go from bed to bed and run back in. I laughed, yes they graze. That is their snacking all day. Grab some herbs, some tomatoes, some peppers, run back in.

That is what happens when vegetables are just food to be enjoyed, not a punishment. They grew up watching me garden, all the work I put in for my vegetables. They will pick up a fruit or vegetable long before they will touch a bag of chips.

I agree with TF except it won't be teen when it blows up, it will be grade school. As soon as you cannot control him he will not eat vegetables. He doesn't love them, he is forced to eat them. That is sad.

My kids can't wait till the artichokes plants start producing. Try forcing your son to eat those.

Oh and my point of my kid's love of vegetables, they would not love vegetables like they do if I had done any of that stuff you said. They would hate them, not chose them. Even your son given a choice chooses not to eat them. How I raised my kids is how Europeans raise their kids. It is how I was raised, I gardened with my grandma, I loved everything she put on the table. It is normal and natural. What you have done is taught your kid vegetables are a punishment and that is really sad.

Sorry this keeps making me shake my head. I wish your son could come over and hang with my daughter for a bit. She gets all the neighborhood kids grazing in our backyard too! You just can't force a kid to love vegetables, you have to show then what there is to love about vegetables.

Per your what happened: "2 hrs later, he eventually got hungry enough and ate the veggies." Starved the kid for two hours until he ate his vegetables, yeah, no pressure there.

My husband has a mother like you. Very controlling over what he ate as a child and forced to eat food whether he liked it or not. It was only after he left the house that he realized that meals were meant to be enjoyed, not forced and controlled.

I never understood why he ate so quickly. He told me that his mother's method taught him to wolf down his food so that he wouldn't have to taste the stuff he couldn't stand. What is healthy about that??

To this day, he hates most vegetables and while he is in good shape, he has struggled with his weight from time to time because he never was able to get the signals from his body that he was full.

Because of this, we have a very casual approach to food in our house. To me, the most important part of the meal is that we are seated around the table as a family. We eat mostly healthy foods, but allow ourselves some junk on occasion and in moderation.

We have never, ever forced our children to eat anything. Ever. They have the freedom to choose what they want to eat and they do a pretty good job. They are incredibly healthy, rarely sick and tons of fun with dinner conversation. And that, to me, is the most healthy part of the meal.

To quote TF, moderation and balance. That's all you need.

Yikes- it sounds like you are setting your son up for a complex relationship with food.
We are vegetarians, so I guess veggies may be more of an inherent part of our diet than some. However, because we are vegetarian, we are very conscious of protein intake. My youngest is 3.5, my oldest 6. They both do a pretty good job of telling me what they want to eat, which is often what their bodies NEED at that time. My little one will come to me and ask for "fake meat" or cheese. He wants those foods because he needs protein. I could make him choke down a few carrots first, but he will still want the protein- his brain is saying both "eat food now" and also "eat protein, because you are growing." Other times, he may ask for bread or a muffin. He needs carbs for quick energy. Sure, he would always take candy! But if he asks for a snack and I respond with do you want a piece of tofu or a bagel or an apple, he will naturally pick the thing that fits his needs. Why not make your life easier and just have all healthy choices? A vegetable is not always the most nutritious thing to eat at any given time. As you said, even healthy food has calories, so why should I make him eat veggies he doesn't want and ingest the extra calories when he just needs some protein? I hope that my kids are learning to listen to the needs of their bodies and comparing that to the available, healthy choices.
Food is one of the best things in life- it should be a pleasure, not some horrible burden. And I say that as a former anorexic. Please don't make your kid hate food or see it as a punishment.

Eating is such a personal thing. It's one of the few things a child can control. It seems you have taken all control away from your boy and I believe that can be very damaging long term.

I have to older kids and they eat incredibly well. I have always cooked real, high quality food and they have almost always enjoyed what the adults were eating. Occasionally when they were small I would feed them first and eat with my husband later but mostly they ate what we ate. I always have a bowl of fruit in the kitchen and the house stocked with healthy foods. They have pretty much been allowed to eat when they are hungry throughout their lives. Both are healthy, thin and active.

I think learning to feed yourself in a healthy way is a life skill like any other. You need practice within some parameters. If you make all the decisions for him he won't learn the skill. Try letting up on the control a bit. I would at least let the kid pick what he wants to eat off his own dinner plate. By forcing the veggies first you're subtly implying that they aren't as good as the other food, he needs to get them over with to get to the tasty stuff. Very soon he will have to make some of these choices for himself, you will not be there every minute to control him.

I would relax a little, all this micromanaging and over thinking can't be healthy for either of you. When he gets out into the real world he's going to need some SELF control.

These are great tips. I'm glad your child is responding 'now' to your strategy but you need to be prepared for this not to last. I have seen way too many times when a parent controls everything the child eats and how & when they eat - the child either goes the opposite way once they are on their own or worse they binge in secret as a child or at friends houses and school to have control over their own eating. The control you are instilling could actually backfire.

Saying all of that, I agree with your ideas I just disagree with the implementation.

Just read your SWH - girl, you are living in a dream world. A 3 year old doesn't know what feeling pressured is yet - you make me laugh with your naivety. Get back with us in ten years and let us know how it worked out. Good luck on the blind bandwagon!

I just made healthy meals, including dessert and they ate what was put in front of them. No battles, eat your food. I never made them eat everything on their plate, I've seen adults who were very overweight finsh their food 'because Mom always told them thehy had to'.

So nice this worked for you. It won't work with every child.

I have one that will eat everything you put in front of him, his favorite food is broccoli.

The other one, if pressured, will eventually take a bite and puke it right back up. You can't do that over and over and over and not come to realize that you're just being downright mean to a little kid. So I decided to stop being a food Nazi. She eats much better when allowed to pick what she wants to eat. She went 3 days without eating much of anything and got really weak.

I realized it's not always the best thing to decide there is only one way to do things. If a kid doesn't like veggies then one does need to find ways to introduce them in a different way.

Won't eat tomatoes? Spaghetti sauce is almost all tomatoes. Carrot cake has a LOT of carrots in it. Kids just see cake if you don't say "Hey, here's some carrot cake, it has a ton of carrots in it".

She doesn't eat many veggies and really, veggies are not the only good foods.

How I've helped guide my child to eat well:

I buy only what I feel comfortable with him eating. We talk about foods, what's a protein, what's a carbohydrate, what's going to fill you up for longer (steel cut oats with raisins and a good protein) and what's going to make you feel lousy later on.

I let him choose, a lot. "Go to the fridge and pick out a two veggies you would like on your plate. Okay, now wash them. Here's the cutting board and a (age appropriate) knife-- why don't you cut them how you want them to look on your plate?"... "Find a protein for your plate. There are hard boiled eggs in there and there's some veggie sausage." and on. I don't let him choose everything, but I do offer choices to him in areas where he complains.

I let him have things which work for him. For health reasons, I need to cook my veggies. It's great that Kiddo loves them raw. I don't dictate HOW he eats them. He likes his carrots just washed with the skins on, ends trimmed. He likes to eat the snap peas from the yard -- but only the pea part. I'd rather he keep those things in his diet instead of telling him *how* to eat them and him refusing them altogether. "How" choices can really be our friends-- even letting our kids pick their dinnerware or silverware can make things feel better for them. My son regularly will pick the long-handled iced tea spoons over a conventional one. It makes eating novel and fun for him.

In our house, we treat eating as something which should be nourishing to everyone. I might make a stir-fry and leave his veggies raw, serve the rice on the side and offer the protein in a portion he can enjoy.

We also know that there are favorites and do offer them in limited quantities. When Kiddo was three and LOVED macaroni and cheese, we decided to buy one box a week and to let him indulge as much as he wanted. At even six, we could make up a box which would then last all week-- he was so secure that he could have his favorite dish that he focuses more on the veggies. The other day he asked me if he could "not finish" the pasta because he wanted to eat his carrot.

People are right that eating well is a personal thing. I grew up being forced to eat certain foods, and frankly, it was such a violation of my self. It's ruined some very good foods for me as an adult. Even when I was gagging and throwing up, I was again and again forced to eat foods I hated in order to have seconds. It's because of this, and because I have studied HOW a child learns to eat well-- some foods, they must taste many, many times before they decide they are safe; this is biological safeguard:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-handle-a-picky-eater_6...

One of the small victories in my life is that I have actually worked myself up to eating half of a salad before my gag reflex started to threaten me. This, when I was in my late thirties. It's sad that some foods were ruined for me.

The foods where small exceptions were made (the tuna casserole with no onion, separated from the 'contaminated' onion part by toothpicks--- that was love to me), I can still eat those and now LIKE many of the foods that had previously been omitted. I also have a tongue which is pretty savvy on flavor and as a kid, some flavors were very, very strong to me, or the texture was off-putting.

My son eats well because I trust that he will grow into a person who eats well, all on his own. I trust that his palate will develop and become more sophisticated, much as my own did. I don't want to ruin any food for him, so I limit the super-desirable, less healthy items and let him make plenty of choices from what is good for him, in a wide variety, as is appropriate. It's such a little thing to say "yes" to on my end, and thus, it's not such a big thing for him.

I'm glad you shared your success. We can learn from your take on the book and the real life product. I usually can learn more from the person who read the book, than putting the time in to read it myself. Something about running it through God's great computer, our minds, makes information accessible to many.

Thanks for the Food for Thought! When I have grandkids, I'll keep this in mind.

Funny - my pedi told me to start my wee ones w/veggies when they got to the size of being able to start on baby food! Next introduced was meats - and fruits very little (due to natural sugar and a taste for that is quickly developed). Worked for my kids all that time ago - works on grand now! If I see that man again, I might have to mention such things as that book and all - he'd probably just laugh!

(and it was funny to watch folks in restaurants see my youngest go for a salad!)

I'm going to look for the book at the library. I have two boys and I have done everything the same for both of them. One loves veggies and fruit and one hates them. After nine years of trying I am only able to get him to eat raw carrots, broccoli, cauliflower and apples. He calls himself a carnivore!

We never started our son on sugary cereals or put any sugar on cereal in the mornings.
He eats Fiber One and Wheaties with milk only,
He's great with most foods but I'm the only one in the house who likes liver and onions.

Epic fail here. My kid won't eat vegetables, except for corn (which is a starch). No fruit either, except for watermelon and bananas. He tells me he might eat them when he is older, when he is 11 and can drive a car. Until then, we keep everything else nutritious and largely homecooked, and we supplement with those fruit/veg purees in pouches.

Best,
F. B.

Google smoothies recipes that use fruits and vegatables....