Jealous of a New Baby...

don't talk about the baby so much. Spend time with her now and when the baby is born, but don't tell her you won't be able to do such and such when the baby is born or spend as much time with her. If you do, she will start to resent the baby now. Just let things go on as normal as possible. She is probably already getting anxious because you are talking about the new baby... and telling her, I won't be able to spend as much time with you. She doesn't understand that kind of talk. Just talk about how great a big sister she is going to be and how much she is going to be able to help the new baby. Call the new baby "our baby," not mommy's new baby. "The family is getting a new baby." She is getting a new little sister or brother to grow up with and play with and help take care of. Say, I'm so excited for you to get a new baby sister/brother to play with. etc. Buy her a special toy that she can give the baby. Buy a special toy for her that she can use with the baby. A special wash cloth, baby brush, etc. Buy her a toy from the new baby. Try not to talk about the new baby so much. :) Although it is hard not too. Hope this helps. My son had a new baby sister at 2 and half years old. Also, someone once told me, the baby isn't going to remember all the times you held her when she was first born, but your daughter will. (It doesn't mean ignore your new baby, but to not forget that your 4 year old will remember how much you hold your new baby). Hope that makes sense. ;)

Ditto what the other moms said. Also, get some books about being a big sister and having a baby- they have lots at the library. My daughter loved to see how the other kids reacted to a new baby and what life w/ a new baby would be like. I only got the books where the big sib was pretty kind and accepting b/c I didn't want her to get any ideas of jealousy (she was 3) but maybe they would help your daughter talk about her feelings. If you are getting stuff for the new baby and it isn't unreasonable or a financial issue you could let her pick out a toy or something here and there so she feels special and isn't focusing on what the baby is getting. Also, taking her to pick out a gift for the new baby. I just had my daughter pick a blankie like hers and a rattle. We wrapped it and kept it for her to bring to the hospital. Having the baby get her present is a good idea- we put it in the car and gave it to her at the hospital too. The gifts sound a bit overkill but it seems to shift the focus enough to distract and shows goodwill when there isn't much else gratifying about a newborn from the siblings perspective. I also had a few new toys on hand for a few weeks after the baby was born to break out to keep her entertained when my time was divided or when I was just too tired. Just like a dollar store toy, dvd, book or whatever. Yes and don't talk about how you won't have as much time for her, say instead that the baby will be there too and she can help you take care of the baby. Talk about what all of the things she can do to help and how the baby can't do most of the things she can do like go potty, run, draw etc., I let my daughter help change the baby which was not easy but she really relished her role. Another mom told me if the baby starts crying and you are playing w/ your daughter and you know the baby will be fine for a few minutes, instead of running and getting the baby right away, just call out to the baby and say, "I'll be there in a minute baby I am playing w/ your big sister, you'll have to wait". My daughter loved this and you could see the instant relief on her face to know that she wasn't going to get brushed aside. And don't be afraid to tell your daughter that it is hard for you to move around as much but after the baby comes you'll soon be back to normal. Maybe she would accept it if you told her you were sorry and how much you want to play w/ her but could she think of something you can do while Mama lays on the couch. i hope this is helpful. Good luck and congrats on your new baby!

Help her be more involved with the new baby so she has ownership of the baby. Keep talking to her about the important roll of a Big Sis. Get her a shirt that says "I'm the Big Sister!" ALWAYS refer to the baby as HER baby. Let her know she gets to teach the baby how to do things: roll over, crawl, talk, walk, get dressed, ride a bike, drive a car, etc. HTH - GL!

I made a big deal out of my little boy when his sister was on the way. I told him how great it was going to be when he was a big brother and all about his responsibilities to teach her and protect her. I let him help make decisions for the new baby. "Which blanket do you think your new baby sister would like better?" It made him feel special. That's what your little girl wants right now. To know she is special and important to you. Everything can't be about the new baby. Nothing wrong with buying her something when you are out shopping for new baby. Not that she should get something everytime you are out. But even stopping at the quarter machines by the door at the gorcery makes kids feel loved. If you can't play the old games, make new ones that don't involve being on the floor. Big girl games, like paint her finger nails and play facial. Put goop all over each others face and turn the radiop up loud and saing and dance. Yoga is good when you're pregnant and good for little ones too. That might be something fun you could do together. I know you're tired, so you can't keep up all the time. Lets take a nap together is my very favorite games of all!

Get out her old baby books, talk about how much you love her, what a cute baby she was, all the great memories of all her firsts...make sure that you maintain one on one time once the baby is born. Assert how much you will need her to be a good helper when the baby is born, what a great big sister she will be, most importantly make sure she knows and understands that a new baby is not going to replace her, that a mommas heart has enough love for everybody! Congrats, yes have dealt with jealousy 2 times now = ) Also, it is nice if the new baby gets the big sister a gift, it can be something small, a new doll or some friend sof mine went big and they got their son a bike when the new baby was born and said it was for him because his new brother was so excited to have such a great big brother....it will pass and she will love her new sibling, just may take a while as people do like to fuss over a new baby.

I have heard high praise of the book Siblings Without Rivalry by Faber and Mazlish. The authors are longtime workshop leaders and teach practical, effective, and mutually respectful tools for working with children's behavioral and emotional issues.