Big Brother Present

Updated on March 02, 2008
K.F. asks from San Antonio, TX
37 answers

I know that there was a similar request earlier in the week, so I apologize for asking again. We are expecting our little girl in May. Her big brother will be 4 in June. I think he has some concept of what is going on, but does not fully understand everything. I want to involve him as much as possible and I think that he will want to help, at least for a little bit. I was wanting to get him a special Big Brother Present for when he comes to the hospital to meet his new sister. I just am at a loss as what to get. He plays with just about anything, but I just want it to be something special. I also wanted him to be able to pick out something special for his sister. Is this going overboard? Thanks for all your help.

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M.L.

answers from San Antonio on

We have 4 children. When each new child came home from the hospital...it was the new born that bore a gift for the nearest in age child....and it was a "baby" too. Since we wanted to minimize jealousy and create a good parent and baby time, this new addition to the older brother or sister was there "responsiblity" and so when it was time to feed or change a diaper or rock the infant....they too had those responsiblities with their "Baby". It worked well for us. And the older child gave something of their own to the new infant to begin sharing themselves...blanket, clothes, a toy, favorite book, whatever they wanted to give to welcome the new child into the family. We never bought anything new for the child to give, but something they loved to share with their new sibling.

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A.G.

answers from Austin on

Maybe an "I'm the big brother" t-shirt. As for a gift for him to take to the baby...when baby #3 came for me my husband took the other kids to build a bear so that they could build a special stuffed animal for the baby (they picked a rabbit and put two hearts in it since there was two of them.) It was special for them and a sweet memory for me.

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T.M.

answers from Austin on

I am pretty much in the same boat, my 4 1/2 year old boy is expecting a baby bro/sis next month! We bought him a camera (the Kid Tough fisher price digital camera) from us and a magnetic block puzzle set from the baby. He has also chosen a onesie for the baby that he has wrapped and anticipates giving the baby at the hospital. I think it's a great way to celebrate the birth of the baby and the beginning of the older sibling's role. And having something the older child can DO at the hospital seems like it would also be a great help. Best of luck!

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L.R.

answers from Houston on

I do not think you're going overboard at all. Even though a child is excited about a new baby sibling, when the new baby arrives and takes mommy's attention, it can be overwhelming for the older child. My first son was 4 when his baby sister was born. A few months before my due date, I had my son help me make a list of all the things he could do to help me when his baby sister was born. Then we "practiced" until she was born. He would get the diapers and wipes, burp cloths from drawer, pacifiers and would bring all dirty bottles to the kitchen, etc. When I could supervise, I let him fill the kitchen sink w/ soapy water (bubbles) and "wash" the bottles while sitting on a stool. He even started feeding the cat and the dog. Before my daughter was born I also took him to buy special things for him to do if I was busy with the baby. He picked out play-doh and I bought him a bunch of plastic cookie cutters. He bought a few new movies and a new car garage. Once my daughter was born, I had my son help paint and decorate a special cup for loose change. Whenever he did things to help me with the baby or played well if I was busy with the baby, I would throw loose change in his cup. Once every week or so I would take him to the dollar store to spend his "big brother" money. He would get the biggest kick out of that and after the first trip, it was amazing how much he wanted to help and be involved.

I do the loose change thing with my 5 yr old son and a 5 yr old girl that I babysit for. They too will go out of their way some days to help me when I have a newborn a few days a week.

I hope this helps some. Good luck with everything and congrats on your expected angel!

L. R.

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T.M.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Oh, gosh, they have shirts that say big brother and onesies that say little sister, ribbons he can wear on his shirt, you can almost have anything embrodered these days.T-shirts, blankets, diaperbags. I bought a stuffed animal, bunny. I had it's big flopy ear embrodered with my daughter's name and DOB. Or, maybe it would be a good idea to buy him something that will keep him busy when you need him out of your hair for a short while. Maybe a new movie or a drawing desk. You could also take a picture of him with her when she is first born and put it in a frame just for him...Good Luck

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C.G.

answers from Austin on

Congrats, K.!

I have two boys who are 2 years and 9 months apart (almost 6 and almost 3). They are the best little buddies. Luckily, the transition from one to two was very easy for us.

Before the baby was born:
We read the "I'm a Big Brother" book often.
We referred to the baby as "our baby".
We included him in preperations like hanging clothes, picking things out, etc....
Cooper had a real sense of ownership of his baby brother when he arrived.

We got him a special big brother t-shirt in advance that he knew he could only wear once the baby was born, and gave him a present from us and one from the baby at the hospital. Nothing too fancy, yes, we too originally wanted it to be "special" but we got just small toys that he'd like, and could play with when he visited the hospital. He liked that he had something from the baby.

Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Austin on

My son had just turned 4 when his little brother was born. What someone got him, that he really appreciated was a t-shirt that said "big brother Alex"... He wore it for days... We also changed his bedroom around a little and made his space a bit more special...

Good luck and congratulations.. I love the 4 year age difference, I wouldn't have done it any other way...

-J.

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T.V.

answers from Houston on

A t-shirt and a button that says "I'm the big brother" was a HUGE hit with my 2 1/2 year old when his sis "came". He also got to see a 4D ultrasound at about 36 weeks which really helped him put a face to all the talk and he was in the room (we used a midwife) before the cord was done pulsing and cut, so I think that helped.

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H.H.

answers from Houston on

I have a 4 1/2 year old little boy and another little boy that turned one in February. When the baby was born, we bought him a big batman that was from the baby. It really made him feel appreciated. We also let him pick out a present for the baby that was just from him. My only other suggestion is to let him help as much as possible. (ex: get diapers when its time to change one, if bottle feeding, let him help, get burp cloths, pacifiers, etc.) This really helped us alot.

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G.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I have two boys, and our spacing is the same- 3.5 is a great age to become a big sibling. The sweet 11 year old that another mom quoted as saying the baby was gift enough is right- my boys love each other so much, and the older one sometimes talks about remembering his years as our only one, and how much better it is now. I like the book "Siblings without Rivalry"- in a way, you parents reading that book would be a nice gift for both of your kids. If your son likes to be read to, a book you could read to him while sometimes while you are feeding the baby would be a great gift. It is a good idea to find something you can do with him while you are busy with the baby. Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from El Paso on

My son turned three about two months after the baby was born. I bought him a baby doll that came with a tub and accessories. It really helped when the baby was born... when I would nurse, he would feed his baby; when I would bathe the baby, he would bathe his baby, etc... It really helped him practice being gentle and being a daddy. Anyways, I had them exchange gifts when we got home from the hospital. My older son gave him a rubber ducky and the baby brought a dvd of Larry Boy (Veggie tales) that he'd been wanting. It was such a sweet moment. The older one still comments on how his baby brother gave him his favorite movie. The baby doesn't remember but I have pictures that we take out and talk about. I'm big on small gifts for everything and the birth of a sibling is such a big thing because it changes family dyanmics that this small gesture will make the transition easier. Hope you have a healthy delivery!

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E.M.

answers from Austin on

We just had our second in January. Our little girl was 2.5 at the time. Unfortunately, I didn't have a lot of time to do anything spectacular to get her ready for big sisterhood. However, I totally lucked out. We'd arranged for my good friend--Aunt Sis--to watch our daughter when we went to the hospital. She planned out all kinds of wonderful things. She and Addie "wrote" a book together--When Addie Became a Big Sister--chronicling all the things they did all we were at the hospital. Aunt Sis took pictures, captioned them, and printed them out on her color printer. She also made a Big Sister t-shirt, again by printing out a picture of Addie on her printer (you can buy t-shirt transfers at Office Depot, etc.).

The things she did were simply, but I think it made a big difference. We read her Big Sister book all the time and she loves to talk about her visit with Aunt Sis. It helped that Aunt Sis is a big sister herself. Now they share a special bond.

I hope this helps!

E.

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H.W.

answers from Waco on

I know exactly what you are talking about I wanted to do the same thing so I created a Tshirt that had a small picture on the front of my oldest with BIG BROTHER around it and on the back I put a huge tractor with I am the Big Brother! on it and also we got a little package of tractors that we told our oldest was for him and as soon as Dyllon was born we gave these to him well after he got to hold him and we put his shirt on him he thought he was HOT STUFF especially since there was a Tractor on it. I know there are several big bro shirts but I wanted his to be personalized it worked out so good actually its to small for him but he still puts it on every now and then.

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P.P.

answers from San Antonio on

I consulted my 11 year old and he is of the impression that the baby is gift enough but he says that if you want to get him something he suggests all the Sandra Boyton board books. They were his favorites and as a big brother your son can read them to his sister.
Now from me, since it's a girl and you have a couple of months before she's fully cooked, have your son pick out a stuffed toy with a musical part. One of those wind-up kinds and he can play it to his sister while she's still cooking. He can play it for her to your belly and since they can pick up the vibration of the tones she will have a familiar sound that will calm her after she is born. Like your voice.
Good Luck!
Pen

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M.L.

answers from San Antonio on

Neither thing is going over broad lots of people do this I am one of them.I know peolpe make goody bags too this is helpful as well so it shows that you will still be there no matter what.Put things in it that you can do with the kiddos from the bed and is not going to make you crazy.

My son picked out a babydoll for my daughter when she was born it was what he gave her and the nurses let him put it in the bed with her at the hospital he was so happy to be involved.He has always been close to her even before for she was born.

And as far as what I did for him I let him walk through and just watched for his light bulb to go on with a certain toy and just went back and picked it out,It was something he liked to play with and just tell him a story of how the baby new he liked it and wanted him to have something specail beside her being his little sister.

Mainly I belief what helped was my son just loved being invloved with everything even when we came home too,and you will love it too.My son is a great helper.

Good Luck and Congrats!!

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K.O.

answers from Houston on

I don't think so. It's such a big change for him and the new baby will be getting all the attention. We got our son one the small leapster electronic game things. We told him it was from her and he was very excited. Good luck.

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B.C.

answers from Houston on

no this is not going over board.i am a big sis of a 2 year old.and they did that for me.it was helpful 2 understand more.(im12)what they did is took me 2 baybies r sand let me choose the ot fit...

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J.J.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I don't think you're going overboard. The arrival of a new baby is a big occasion and it should be celebrated, and I think having them "give" each other a present is a great way to do it. My son was just over 2 1/2 years old when his baby sister was born, and we got them each something small. Then when he came into the hospital to see her we gave him the gift and told him it was from his sister; we gave him her gift and had him give it to her. He loved his present and thought it was so cool that it was from her, and he got a big kick out of giving her something.

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J.R.

answers from San Antonio on

When I had my son my daughter decorated some plain white onsies with her artistic creations. They turned out wonderfully and he could wear them anywhere. She made one that said little brother. He is now 3 and we have one up in a frame for a keepsake. As for her we got a James Avery charm that said big sister. You could also get him a shirt from her to wear at the hospital that says "Big Brother".

J.B.

answers from Houston on

I had a friend who had a homemade t-shirt for her older son. She ironed on a truck decal and some lettering that said #1 big brother. Her son loved it and he got to wear his special shirt up to the hospital. I think you can also find t-shirts in the store that say things like world's greatest big brother etc. Hope this helps!

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L.C.

answers from Killeen on

Hey! When my son was born last April, I had presents from him to my 20 month year old son. I had a bucket of books, with crayons, coloring books, some cute snack stuff and a HUGE ball. It was right around Easter so I didn't want to take away from Easter but wanted to show him that his little brother was excited he was here.

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J.E.

answers from Killeen on

I do no think it is overboard at all. I had my second son 2 months before my 1st turned 3 years and not only did i get him a big brother gift but i gave him 2 of them. One from my husband and I for being such a big kid now but also one from Zach (his new brother) for being the best big brother in the world. Not only did i place great emphasises on how much i loved him but also on how much his new brother loved him. He though it was so cool. My sister also got them a matching shirt and onsie that said "I'm the Big Brother" & "I'm the Little Brother". There are so many times your life is in a whirl-wind after the birth of a child. Imagine being 3 and not understanding why momma can't hold you right now, or why the baby is crying again. Anything that makes you child feel extra special in a time of change is far from overboard. Note: my sons are now 4 years & 18 mos and everytime we come across those shirts (which obviously no longer fit), my oldest one declares... "Zach, these are our brother shirts."

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K.R.

answers from San Antonio on

I have an 8 year old and a 4 year old. When I went to the hospital to be induced with younger brother, we let older brother open his present. It was a T-shirt that said, "I'm the BIG brother." He wore that shirt almost non-stop for 6 months! It also made him feel like there wasn't just another kid coming to replace him.

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C.F.

answers from Houston on

Last July my daughter had a little girl and when her husband and two sons (ages 3 and 5) came to see the new baby they had on pink t-shirts. Her husband's t-shirt said "I'm the daddy". The oldest boy's t-shirt said "I'm the big brother" and the youngest boy's t-shirt said "I'm the other big brother". This was something that the boys really enjoyed and they wore them proudly. I'm not sure if she had them made or if they found them somewhere. The other thing that we made sure to say all the time so the boys wouldn't feel left out was that this was their baby. It wasn't mommy's baby or daddy's baby, it was their baby. This kept them from feeling that the baby was taking the attention away from them. Both boys just love their sister and enjoy helping with diaper changing and getting bottles for her.

S.D.

answers from Austin on

I think this is a great way to introduce the kids. How can you not love someone bearing gifts??

My son (at the time just over 2) was very proud to give his new baby a present - a rattle. He had been clearly nervous in the last month before my due date about what having a new sister was going to mean for him and the household, so the act of picking out the present was another way for me to include him in the process, help reassure him that he was an important person in this family.

The big brother present was a razor scooter. To be honest, it was basically the equivalent of a Christmas present - something he was excited to receive, but nothing he's going to tell HIS kids about, not an heirloom. That said, when he walked into the hospital room to meet his sister, he went from being so proud to bring a gift to his new sister to being so excited about his new scooter! It gave my husband and I a few seconds to focus on catching up, and admire the new addition to the family.

My friends got their 3 year old a tiny trampoline (like the exercise kind) as her big sister present. The key is quiet and something that doesn't necessarily involve your oversight ;)

Congratulations!

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J.L.

answers from Houston on

K.:

Congratulations on your up and coming arrival! I would say - yes - a Big Brother gift is a great idea even for a 4 year old. My oldest daughter was 4 when my now 2 year old arrived. I got her a special Big Sister tote bag, coloring book, crayons (for the waiting room), disposable camera to take her own pictures, and Big Sister T-Shirt. She loved it - and even wore her shirt to her preschool class the next week to show off her pictures of her new baby sister. Then when my 3rd one arrived, my oldest sort of expected something similiar so I made "Big Sister" and "Biggest Sister" t-shirts - tote bags with coloring books, colors; and I found a cute little big sister stationary set where she was able to fill in the blanks and we sent a few to her friends introducing her new sister. I hope that helps?

A little about me - I am married, with 3 girls - 6 years, 2 years, and 6 months; and I run a monogramming business out of my home! I recently made a big brother gift for a friend that included a monogrammed sippie cup that read: "Big Brother Tate" and Big Brother Tee, and some travel games; it went over really well.

Have a great week!
J. Lira
[email protected]____.com

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K.G.

answers from Houston on

My two were only two years apart. We convinced our son to bring a birthday gift for his newborn sister when he met her in the hospital. When we unwrapped her in her bassinette to show him the baby, she had a small gift for him as well. Both gifts were unwrapped, token gifts like matchbox size cars. He shared what he valued, and she impressed him with what he liked. When we go home from the hospital, dad held the baby while I had open arms for him. He reached out and wanted to hug her.
KGj

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S.A.

answers from Houston on

I don't think you are going overboard at all. I did the same thing with my kids. When our 2nd was born our daughter was 2.5 and loved watching my belly grow and knew there was a baby brother inside. We got her her own baby (doll) so she could have one like mommy. Now when our 3rd was born our daughter was almost 7 and our son had just turned 4 a couple of months before. She still loved baby dolls so we got her another one, our son on the other hand was turning into a big boy so we got him a big boy doll (cabage patch) he loves it still (he's 6) and will tell anyone that it's from his baby brother! Good luck to you both!!

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N.A.

answers from Killeen on

My son is 3.3 years older than his little sister. She is now almost 2.5, and he is the best big brother. I wanted to do this same thing when she was born. I got him the book "God Gave Us You". I think books are a winner every time. There are lots of great books about becoming a big brother. Don't be surprised if at first he is excited about the new baby, then suddenly seems very jealous. I think at first they think the baby is just visiting so they're excited and then they realize baby is here to stay and it takes a little adjusting for them. I hope this was helpful, and congratulations. Two is actually easier than one.

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N.T.

answers from San Antonio on

First off congratulations. My daughters gave their children a t-shirt to wear to the hospital that said "I am the big brother or I am the big sister and they just loved it. Everyone would stop him and talk to him and ask him if he was really a new Big Brother and he felt so important. Instead of buying the new baby a gift they gave a little gift (like the favorite toy he had been wanting) and said it was from his new baby sister. They gave it to him when he came to the hospital to meet his new little sister. The look in their eyes and the excitment. They will really like them when they get home just because they truly believe the gift came from them. Always make him a part of as much as you can. Like helping with the bath, dressing them even if it is just standing there and watching and explain to him how he was once that little and constantly praise him for being the Big Brother. He will feel very important. When the baby would cry for long periods of time, my daughter would have the little brother talk to the baby and show him how you speak softly etc. and the baby really would calm down and the little brother felt that he had accomplished something and helped in a big way.
Good Luck.

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

I just had my 2nd child in Dec. Big brother was 2 1/2 y/o. I did the present thing at the hospital. I gave my oldest a small music toy (wrapped up very pretty) to give to the baby and then I gave him a wrapped present- just a small toy truck- and told him it was from baby brother. He really enjoyed it. I would take him to the store closer to your due date- but not too close in case you go into labor early :)- and tell him he gets to buy something special for baby sister. Let him help you wrap it and then keep it in a special place in his room. When it comes time to go to the hospital he will be ready and so excited to give it to her. Keep his present from baby hidden so he will be suprised when he gets to the hospital and she is holding a present for him. :) Hope this helps!

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M.S.

answers from San Antonio on

No, that is not going overboard. In fact, I think it is a nice way to get the older sibling involved in the new child.We did that with our son when his sister was born. You don't even have to do anything crazy or go overboard with the present. Something simple. It can be something they LOVE...a new train, a set of building blocks. When a friend has a 2nd or 3rd child I always get the older sibling a present as well. A coloring book and a new set of crayons or markers. Kids are easy to please and happy in general. Good luck

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D.G.

answers from Houston on

When my son was born my daughter brought him one of those little blankies with the stuffed animals attached to the middle. It stayed with him in his little hospital bassinet and he still sleeps with it at age 2. She had a big sister tshirt (which she wore every day to the hospital for 4 days in a row) and when she got to the hospital we had her very own camera there waiting for her. She loved taking pictures of him and we have the cutest pictures of her taking pictures of him. We just gave her a toy camera because she wasn't 3 yet but fisher price sells digital cameras for 3 and 4 year olds that works pretty well (my daughter has that now and still takes pictures of her little brother 2 years later). Congratulations and enjoy the moment, there is nothing like giving your child a sibling and seeing that relationship evolve.

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K.C.

answers from Houston on

I heard of a cute idea of getting a big sibling tshirt for them to wear when all the guests come calling to visit or when you take the baby out to visit as well as a small photo album that is all his to show people his new sibling. This gives him somehting to be proud of and it is all his. put pictures in it asap after the baby is born so when you are out, without the baby, he can still show people and be proud to be a big brother. He can take it to preschool ro the store or church, etc. That will help him be secure in his new role as being bigger now and not the baby anymore. Good luck!!!

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P.K.

answers from Houston on

my boy was just shy of his fourth birthday when i had my daughter, and the bicycle was the key!! big boy bicycle, gave him something to work on, he loved it, and we took his training wheels off right after he turned four. it totally saved us!

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J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I dont think it is going over board, i think its great that you are thinking about him too, not many think that it is hard on the older kids. I am the oldest of 4 kids my parents had, and it was something special for us to get something and it made us feel less left out. We did that with my oldest son when my baby was born. We got big brother/Little brother shirts, and we got him a back pack (they sell toddler ones at walmart for like $6) and filled it with toys, and a couple of games for his game system, and other things he likes, we also took him and let him help us pick things out for brother before he was born like a bib that said i love my big brother and clothes, toys, ect. My mom, sisters and grandparents also bought him things to bring up to the hospital for him also, so he didnt feel left out when brother had visitors and recieved gifts and not him. I also had him at the hospital every day (i had a repeat csection so i was there a little longer than a normal birth), that way he would get used to the baby before we got home, and not go through "withdrawls" of not having mommy around all the time. When we got home from the hospital and even some in the hospital we let him help with everything, like changing pampers, feeding and we let him hold him when he wanted to (as long as he wasnt asleep). We were very suprised, he was very gentle, we explained to him that he could hurt him cause he is so little so he had to be extra careful with him, we were suprised because he turned 2 in July and in September we had the baby, we didnt think he would fully understand, but he did, the only thing he didnt understand is why the baby couldnt get up and play with him, and he tried to bring him toys to play with but of course he couldnt play with them, so he did get upset with that, but we just told him he was a baby and not a big boy yet, but when he got older he would be able to play, he accepted that but was still upset. Over all though he was very excited about having a baby brother, and loved to think he was doing a great job of being a big brother helping us. It was a fun time, enjoy it because now that they are older (3 1/2 and 18 months) they fight over toys at times you know usual sibling stuff. I hope this helps you a little and Congrats on the new baby, Good Luck and i hope everything goes ok for you and your family.

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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

My son made a bear for his new sister at Build-A-Bear Workshop. It was precious and he even recorded his voice and put the box in the bear's paw so she'll always have that special aspect of it, too.
As for what to get your son, we were given a t-shirt that had "One Cool Big Brother" embroidered on it. He also recieved a gift at the baby shower, and I made him his own scrapbook to take to school and show off!
Congratulations!

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