It Has Finally Happened .... UPDATED

Updated on May 24, 2012
L.B. asks from Metairie, LA
15 answers

i just caught my long haired, teen son, playing with his hair in the bathroom mirror.

His hair length is between his shoulder blades on his back and about collar length in the front. With the advent of summer I think it is beginning to be hot. He has a sudden interest in pony tails and learning how to put his hair back. But, really, I never expected to be teaching my son how to fix his long hair. LOL

And my questions are -

How do boys with long hair fix their hair?
Low pony tails on the back of the neck? I know not high pony tails like I wear.
Can they just pull the front part back into a pony on the back of their head to keep it out of their face?
What is "cool" and what is "dorky"? This is important because despite the long hair he is on the dorky side.

Ah, but it was so funny and he was so embarrassed.

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So What Happened?

Thea S. - his hair was the shorter, shaggy cut last summer - he doesn't want to go shorter - he wants to go longer - so I am lucky that he lets me get the split ends cut off. I agree that the cool factor is in the fact that it is long and down - but I am not having the "battle" with him. LOL And the, I think about 2 other boys in the school will super long hair do pull their back. There are not a lot of male students in school with long hair - heck, in my little town.

Kristina M. - I don't care how Beckam wears his hair - that man could do anything and still look good. Aaahhhhh

Gamma G. - Thanks for the links

Manda - I hear you loud and clear. I actually was going to suggest that to him. My bad!!! Oh, I may be in love with your Dad.

Clilo11 - nope, not gay or bi. Straight Baptist boy who believes in abstinence - just has a thing for long hair - which makes the other Baptists at our church scratch their heads. May be why he grows it.

SweetChaosWith3 - yeah, no - not cutting it :) I made a decision years ago not to fight over his hair. It could be blue for all I care. He is a good kid, decent grades, respectful, and, eh, it is just hair.

Anyhoo, thank you all - I do believe the low pony tail has won out if he pulls it back. Tho' he made a comment tonight about putting it into a Samurai pony - which I think he means higher on the back of his head - I kinda' cringed inside. The one thing that is different about teens now then from when I was a teen is that he keeps being asked by boys and girls alike when he going to flat iron his hair. It seems that it is now normal for boys to flat iron their hair. So, I think that will be out Memorial Day Weekend experiment. Too Funny!

Featured Answers


answers from Chicago on

Beckham does half up half down ... no matter what do not do that it looks quite silly, a simple low pony pulled straight back will suffice.

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answers from Milwaukee on

My cousin has long hair and when he gets warm, he pulls it back in a low pony. Looks fine. To each their own.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

How did he do his hair last summer? Or is the long hair new?

My son has dreadlocks which he uses a thin elastic headband to hold back at soccer... but he's 6.

Honestly, as far as "cool" looks go, I think if he pulls it back you've lost that battle. What's cool about long hair on teen boys doesn't include looking like a graduate student with his hair in a low ponytail.

How about a baseball cap? He can comb his hair back off of his face and use the cap to hold it back. It won't keep it off of his neck, but neither would a low pony. Plus it has the added benefit of a visor :)

How about a slightly shorter haircut. Still long, but a shorter shaggy, skater cut that will get it up off of his back?

Maybe kids in your area WILL pull their hair back, but I'd have him wait and see what other boys do. Teenagers can be mean, you don't want to set him up for ridicule.


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answers from Portland on

Low pony tail in the back is fine.
Please don't do just the bangs back, that WILL look dorky, the only time I see guys do that is at Renaissance Festival or Comic-Con.

Anything that you have seen a girl do, besides the low pony tail, don't do on him.
Really pony tail is the only thing I can think of.
Don't make him cut it :(
My dad is an old hippie, he has had long hair his whole life, there is nothing dorky about my dad.
He is a Harley rider and has tattoos and would probably scare most people, he wears a pony tail a lot.

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answers from La Crosse on

I have many guy friends with long hair. Most wear their hair in a low pony tail. A few will braid them.. but I think the low pony looks better. One friend of mine, his hair is waist length and he puts it in a low pony and then to keep the pony tame he puts 3-4 bands on it about 4 inches apart then one on the bottom.

My vote is the low pony.

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answers from Oklahoma City on

I have a friend who has waist length hair. He wears bits from by the ears pulled back to a tiny ponytail on top of the other hair when he wears his dress Kilt. Otherwise it's in a low pony tail when it's not loose.

I googled hairstyles for men with long hair:

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Eh, tell him to go get a haircut if he's too hot with hit hanging down. I can't stand long hair on boys, and I especially can't stand pony tails. I think that would look way dorky. He'll either have to be hot, or cut it short.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

Low pony tail. I have a friend that has long hair. Let me tell you the ladies go nuts for it. ;) He always pulls his back in a low pony tail (back of the neck) because it is so thick. Some guys can pull it off, some can't. Just like some can pull off a shaved head and some can't.

He can always experiment and see what he likes best.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

Our 40-something art director wears his in a low pony.

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answers from Washington DC on

If you & your son are close enough do some google images together and see what you come up with. If you think he will be mortified that Mom wants to do that, then do it alone.

There are many celebrities, atheletes etc that have pony tails so I am sure you'll stumble on something that will fit.

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answers from Dothan on

Welllllll like we 'females' the decision of how to wear, 'guy' hair is a personal one :) ... I have two boyz here, 13 & 17, they have had any/all hair lengths, hair cuts, long, short, buzzed, some blonde streaks & some green color, red color & blue color! Right now the 13 yr. old has medium (about the same as your sons) & the 17 yr old has gone from pony length to a buzz! Neither one has ever wanted to sport a pony, but if they did I would let them decide which kind. My gransoninlaw wears his with a topknot kind of pony with the back shorter when he pulls it up or in the middle of his backhead with the shorter hair when pulled up showing! My DH has worn a braid or low pony when his hair was long...Cool is what you make it, I have an, 'Big Bang' kind of 13 yr old & the 17 yr old thinks he is just TOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOL......just let him make his own decision mama & don't be suprised if 2morrow he wants a buzz!

Have a wonderful summer with your wonderful, long haired son! :)

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answers from Wichita on

Is he Gay or Bisexual? If so don't let anyone tease him that could lead to the embarrasment.
Q1. How do boys with long hair fix their hair?
A. By the sound of it he doesn't want any bits sticking out. So just get him to use gel/wax
Q2.Low Ponytails at the back of the neck?
A. Get him to put his head foward and have his hands back closer to the back of his head.
Q3. What is "cool" and what is "dorky"?
A. Most of the time just get him to put it in a ponytail but he can practice putting it up in different ways at home. Alot of boy with long hair can plait it back.

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answers from Albuquerque on

My youngest brother (now 21) is in a rock band and he has LONG hair!

He wears it in a pony-tail at the back of his neck.

Your son could pull just the front part back, but the trick is to have the pony tail as low as possible.

As long as he isn't using a scrunchie to hold it back he will be good to go, LOL!

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answers from Dallas on

Most of the male high school with long hair students that I teach leave it loose, but a few pull it back in a low pony tail, and they look fine. They don't get teased now, but they may have when they first started pulling it back. I teach 17 and 18 year olds, and most of the ones who have long hair have had long hair since junior high.

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answers from Missoula on

I dated a guy with long hair in high school once. I thought it was hot then. ;) lol. (His was a cultural thing... it was long on top, but buzzed on the bottom so he had a higher pony... but it wasn't a full pony so it worked on him.) I usually see the low-pony thing. Maybe you could google images of long hair on guys, just to see what would look good as far as bangs, how low to go, etc would look on him. You might even print a few off to give him, so he can play with his hair and have a picture for reference.

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