Is There Something Other than Meds That Will Help My ADHD Child?

Updated on September 29, 2010
S.A. asks from Stockton, CA
40 answers

My son started kindergarten this year, and before meeting with his kindergarten teacher yesterday...I too have always wondered if my son was ADHD. Sure enough his kindergarten teacher has the same worries. He is super smart and knows everything he is supposed to know, but has major issues with focus. He is physically not able to sit down and complete a task that requires more than a few minutes to do. I agreed to set up an appointment to have him evaluated, just to see what we're dealing with, but I do NOT believe in medicating him! I have heard stories about mom's that have tried medicating, but ended up stopping because it changed their whole child into something that was not them...almost zombie like I've heard. I feel that God made him who he is for a reason, and would just like some ideas on how to cope with it...without meds. Your ideas are greatly appreciated!!

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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

"The ADD Answer" by Lawlis is a good book/reference to intervention, behavior plans, strategies, diet, even medication (although it is not a pro medication slanted book). You can find it on Amazon.

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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

There is a great book that can help called Gut and Psychology Syndrome. It would explain what you can do to help him without meds.
http://www.gutandpsychologysyndrome.com/

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C.S.

answers from Sacramento on

I know a tutor in the Roseville area that helps children tremendously and she also recommends a technology that improves brainwave frequencies. She showed us several double blind placebos and no safety issues. They give it to infants.
You'd have to ask her the details. Susan Weckter ###-###-####

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

You should be rejoicing right now, because today is your lucky day! The stories you have heard are popular myth, and there is no reason to reject good quality care that will help your son on the pathway to a happy and healthy life with brain function he can count on!

Good medical care does not turn children into zombies and does not change a child's presonality. If that ever happens, you have a bad doctor, the treatment is not right, and that should never happen. It is no reason to reject what can be releif for your sons symptoms, if he sees a good doctor and not a quack, and only a quack would think that a zombie was OK. There are many more parents who found that medication was not just important, but made all the difference in the world in our children and their function, happiness, and our sanity. I never saw any of the side effect you mentioned, not that there are not possible side effects, but monsters from the grave are not one of them. Every medication has possible side effects, you try something else if you have them, you don't give up on the illness, and live in misery, unless you reject all medical care, this medical care is no different. There is no cop out here, this is no easy way because medication or no medication, ADHD is still some of the hardest work you will ever do. You are only treating your child so that they are no longer misserable, or you live the the missery, and make do with the less effective therapy without medication.

Medication is an appropriate tool for a valid medical issue, and there is no charcter defect or shame on anyone who uses them. It helps all the other standard care work better and should never be used alone, that is just plain bad care. A child with ADHD should have speech/ langague and OT if needed, Cognative behavioral therapy, play therapy (if younger) social skills classes, a full visual/ visual motor/ visual percptual developmental eye evaluation, behaviroal/ educational interventions and good medical care from either a Developmental Pediatrician or a Child Psychiatrist. It involves hard work from the child, you, the therapists and your doctor (which is not inexpensive) and appropriate medical intervention will shorten his treatment time and help him show much greater progress. If your son really has ADHD (either damaged nerutransmitter receptors or low production of neurotransmitters in his brain) he will likely be very angry with you as an adult when he discovers that a good deal of his issue happened in his brain at the molecular level, something he could neither fix, nor control on his own, and something that medical care had a good intervention for that would dramatically change his life for the better, not his personality or energy levels as a zombie. God made us all like we are for a reason, but if your son can count on his brain to work the way God inteneded, by either making enough neurotransmitter to carry his thoughts across the synapes (space between the brain cells which do not touch) or by helping to repair the nuerotransmitter receptors via appropriate medical therapy, then my bet is that God would intend you do help him like that.

If you do not have a private appontment for evaluation, and the evaluation he is getting is through your school district, be sure to get a full evaluation from a Developmental Pedicatrican, not your regular pediatrician. The school cannot diagnose a medical condition and will require that you get a medical diagnosis for them if they find that thier evaluation is "consistent" with ADHD. You should never know less about your child than the school does, and you should know that the school is only required to make your child functional at school, if you want to maximize your child's potiential, that is up to you. You will always need private services to supplement what the school provides if you want the best care for him. If you are accessing public services through the school district, log on to www.wrightslaw.com and start learning about advocacy.

Read books by Dr. Mel Levine and Dr. Russel Barkley. They are terrific resources about ADHD, treatement, causes, descriptions and great strategies.

Many children with ADHD are very smart. They are not smart enough to fix a nuerotransmitter defect in thier brains with out help. I don't know anyone smart enougth to regulate how their bodies make and use chemicals so that they can count on the electrical impulses we call thought processes, to be reliable.

Good luck to you, go to a Developmental Pediatrician, do some reading from reliable sources, and don't worry anymore about what you have heard, it is just not true.

M.

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K.A.

answers from Little Rock on

Different ADHD med effect people in different ways. Adderall was a complete disaster for us but was perfect for 2 girls at our church. Concerta worked great for us, but was disaster for someone else we know. If a medicine effects him negatively, just let the doctor know and the med can be switched to a different type. I recently talked to my doctor about changing meds because my son had been on the same med for several years and it no longer seemed to keep him focused. I asked about ViVance and my doctor told me it was the same basic ingredients as Adderall and since my son did not tolorate Adderall well he did not recommend ViVance for my son. Instead we are trying Straterra and so far so good. We have also used Focalin in the past and it worked well for one school year, but the next year it did not keep him focused. The doctor told me that he needed a bigger dose that was offered with Focalin and switched us to Concerta which was the same type of drug but offered bigger doses. My son has never been a zombie while on meds. Adderall did turn him into a angry, hateful, crying monster, but we got off of it as soon as we noticed the effects. Once we know that that type of medicine would not work for him the doctor has always steered us away from any other med like it.

I do understand your concerns. I did try other options before putting my son on meds but none of them worked for us. We did cut his sugar out of his diet completely and that did help some. This means that we use sugar substitutes and avoid juices, and watch his carb intake (potatoes, breads, pasta, etc. are limited). We have tried Omega 3,6,9 and herbs for focus. But they did not help at all. We even tried the herbal mentioned in the second post from the bottom and it did not help us. We also tried a Chiropractor but it did not help either.

I am Pentecostal and do not like to give my kids unnecessary meds either, but at the same time, he has got to get an education. My decision came down to not giving him meds and having a kid that ends up in special ed and never REALLY graduates or giving him meds and him doing fairly well in school and getting that education that he will need for life. We decided on the med and an education. My son has severe ADHD and is behind in speech development. He is almost caught up on speech development and with the meds, his ADHD is in control enough that he can focus in the classroom for the most part. He still has to be reminded to pay attention at times and the teacher still has to take things away that he is playing with in class occasionally, but his grades have gone from D's and F's to A's, B's, and C's. He is not a zombie by any means.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

First, a teacher and a pediatrican (regular one) shouldn't diagnosis this. They should fill out a survey question which should be analyzed along with other information. There are a number of other "issues" that children can have which appear like ADHD, when that isn't the cause.

The fact that your son is bright, makes me wondering if he is "gifted" which, particularly in boys, can look like ADHD. There is a polish psychologist who wrote about "overexcitability" in gifted children, which sounds a lot like ADHD. Note, about gifteness -- anyone who tests your child will more likely give him the Weschler IQ test, if your son scores in the 99th percentile on two or more subtests, he needs another test. My daughter did this and the Weschler test have her an IQ in the mid-130. We did a different tests wiht a higher ceiling, and she actually has an IQ of 152. Big difference. Mid 130s would be nice, 152 is a problem!

The not sitting still could be a sensory issue (so you might want to see an OT) but it could just be that he is a five year old boy. Now a days, many people think boys should be held back. I think some of this is that schools are doing more academic stuff at younger ages, and thus what is normal development for children becomes problematic. However, you said you were worried about this a home, so there is likely to be more to this.

We have several people in our family that have ADHD, several have tried drugs, only one used them. His ADHD was so bad that he used them year round and on weekends, not just to be sedated when he went to school. He is also 22 years old and still uses them. He has trouble doing his job if he doesn't take them. The thing to remember is everyone will concentrate better if they take the drugs, that doesn't mean you need them. I would find it helpful to be 4inches taller, but I don't need to be 4 inches taller. Does that make sense?

Also Celiac disease can cause ADHD symptoms. Does he have any digestive issues?

Anyway, talk to a professional, someone who works for you,not the school and really dig into want exactly is your son's problem. Don't just assume it is ADHD.

Lastly, my son, who is 5, had a terrible time at school last year. His teacher viewed him as sooo bad he couldn't go back to our local catholic school, and that he need to go to the public school with an IEP. We tried. The county found him eligible -- he has epilepsy, that was a no brainer. However, they were going to give him next to nothing. We were already doing more for him at home. It was clear the county didn't really believe he needed anything. So rather than send him to a school who wasn't interested in helping him, I am home schooling him. I am not a strong homeschooler. If given a reasonable alternative, where someone was actually going to try to work with our family to help our son, I would send him to school, but no one wants to help.

Your son is exactly who God wants him to be, however that appears to be a problem for the school. The school can either work with you, to help your son; or they can fail him for being immature (so you'll do kindergarten again next year); or they can push you into finding some diagnosis so the "problem" can be blamed on your son.

This is the state of education in this country, from where I sit. It is very sad.

Good Luck! Remember the most important thing is to make sure your son knows you love him, and that he is a wonderful kid!

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D.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi S.---There is a lot to consider as you explore your options. I too am a proud parent of a smart kid and although he was never considered adhd, I did notice those excitability factors in him early on. His biggest problem that he couldn't work well without disturbing others. Well, he was not challenged by the program offered at the time. Teachers have difficult jobs and they have a hard time working with kids at the ends of the learning spectrums. First, you have to be an advocate to make sure the teacher is meeting his scholastic needs while not labeling him until she gets to know him better.

There a many things you can do to outside of drugs to help his restlessness. First is his diet. Be sure he eats mostly fruits, veggies, whole grains, beans (legumes), nuts and seeds. Use animal protein sparingly, like a side-dish or condiment. Please explore www.pcrm.org and read The China Study by T Colin Campbell to learn more about that and what their advice is to optimize the diet. Be sure you are eliminating processed foods, as those will contain negative ingredients that may contribute to his concentration and restlessness issues. Learning how to read ingredients on labels will be VERY important. Avoid HFCS, MSG (goes by many different names on food labels...contact me and I can share those with you), artificial colors, flavors and preservatives. I know that our gov't tells us that these are 'generally recognized as safe', but testing was done on one chemical only. Who knows what the combination of them do in a vulnerable body/brain.

Have him get plenty of exercise after school, before bed. Get plenty of sleep, drink clean, filtered water and then work on some 'behavioral therapy' at home...sort of like giving him practice sitting and doing projects at home. You can start with a short time and work up to longer periods with rewards, etc for his success.

Drugs can be an effective short-term tool but they usually require new and stronger drugs to achieve benefits and often have side effects just as problematic as the original diagnosis. So, don't worry about what they might say. Do your homework and be sure you are educated and comfortable with all options presented. I know many people who have simply worked on their kids behavior and those kids have done just fine. You know your child best. You didn't say if he'd ever attended preschool. He's likely just learning how to sit still for the first time in his life. Give him time to adjust. Good luck! D.

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E.A.

answers from Erie on

My son struggled through a Montessori environment, a private school, and public school. It wasn't the environment. He's also not a "typical" hyperactive child, but was finally diagnosed at the age of 15 with ADHD. It presented as an inability to focus, especially in places where there are a lot of people. He was constantly forgetting homework, was extremely disorganized (in spite of my best efforts to teach him otherwise) has failed two classes in high school and was kicked out of a very very good school because of it, but he wasn't really a discipline problem, is very smart, but has a hard time concentrating on anything longer than a few minutes, he couldn't even "hear" the teacher in a classroom setting, assemblies were excruciating for him. He gets plenty of exercise, and has a very good diet. We tried everything from positive discipline to new schools to diets to counseling. Finally, when we had him tested by a pediatric psychologist at the same place he is receiving counseling, he diagnosed him as ADHD. We then went to our doctor who prescribed medication. Like I said, we tried everything else.

Just wanted to share our story. The meds are working great for him. He said he can think more clearly and doesn't have problems focusing in class anymore, is much less forgetful...I'm not saying you need to try them, but don't necessarily rule them out, either. My son's brain chemistry is "different", and I liken the medication to the ones I take for my dx, which is Bipolar type 2. Without them I was a mess, on them I am stable and functioning. Yes, maybe "god" made us who we are, but with the help of medication we are both reaching our fullest potential. Would you tell a diabetic not to take his meds?

Try everything else, get a proper evaluation, look at his diet, take suggestions from professionals, find good care for him, but don't rule out anything just because you don't want to believe it will help.

Good luck.

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I have no advice and ceratinly no judgement of any kind as I have never been in this position and would be dazed and confused if I were. I'm not anit-meds. I'm just reluctant to mess with tiny, unfinished brains. But if it would better my childs life and I had exhausted all other avenues, I would give it real thought.

Having said that, I have a little differant perspective to add. I worked in an elemetary school. I spent time in the cafeteria and the nurses office. There were kids that came to the nurses office for thier medications and moms that came in to discuss thier kids health. Those kids were zombies in the lunch room. They were easy to spot. The kids on adhd meds had no appetite at all. They just sat blankly and stared straight ahead during lunch. They didn't run on the playground. Teachers said SOME of them were "unteachable zombies, but they, at least they weren't disruptiong the class anymore". That's just sad. And they still had behavioral problems. They were sleeping giants. SOME of the boys were prone to violent outburtsts if anyone touched them or if they felt threatened. I've seen little boys that were bright red and shaking all over 15 minutes after taking thier meds. I met a little boy that seemed to vibrate - don't ask me how, the meds just made him have a tiny shiver all over that made him vibrate, I swear you could almost hear him hum. That could have been a bad dr. It could have been the wrong meds. But it was so common place in the school that noone batted an eye about it. It's common practice. The moms always had stories about how "this medication was so much better than the last one - you should've seen how bad that one was." I couldn't imagine anything worse!

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E.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Lots of great feedback. I have been reading up on ADD and ADHD since I am concerned that my daughter. ADD and ADHD are very commonly misdiagnosed. More information is coming out that many children do not have these, but instead have food allergies or food intolerances. Research is showing a very strong link between behavior and food intolerances.

I encourage you to do some research in this area. More and more kids are being found with intolerances to wheat, dairy or eggs. I would rather make adjustments to my grocery shopping and eating habits before using medication.

Good luck.

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L.O.

answers from Stockton on

I see you have lots of answers but I haven't had a chance to read them. I just wanted to share a little of my story about my son with you. We went through similar situation with my son in Kindergarten & 1st grade. We eventually had him tested and he was diagnosed with ADHD. His 2nd grade teacher was awesome and we had many discussions with her on his issues. We first decided to try anything & everything with him and his teacher did the same. Like you we were really concerned about putting our son on medication. After failed attempts of trying the different things, we resorted to putting him on Concerta. It was a complete turn around for him. He didn't have any side effects and never became a zombie. He just was able to focus in school and with homework. He went from having to stay in some recesses to finish school work to being the top student in his class. We felt the same way that you did about God making him who he is. I talked with our children's pastor one day and he shared with me that sometimes people do need medication to help them out and it's not a bad thing. Pray about it ~ He will help you through it. He did us. Hope that helps!

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

We started my 8 year old on a focus supplement last week and did notice both a change in attitude and behavior. It's not a miracle thing, he is still working h*** o* staying focused, but it seemed to help him.

http://www.amazon.com/Source-Naturals-Attentive-Chewable-...

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J.J.

answers from San Francisco on

IF you decide to pursue medications, make sure you ask the following questions.
How long should it be before we see noticeable improvement in attention/behavior? What are the side effects, medical, emotional, behavioral of these proposed medications? What types of things are likely to improve? And most importantly, what organizational/behavioral/disciplinary supports can we provide our child that will help him/her become more aware, less impulsive, etc?
ALL children benefit from structure, predictability and limits. Helping your child to be organized and accountable will be a great skill that will help him all through his life. Having systems and plans in place will help all of you cope better.
There is also great support and information available for parents of children with ADD/ADHD at Parents Helping Parents www.php.com in San Jose. A support group meets monthly and has great speakers come to present on a variety of topics.

Updated

IF you decide to pursue medications, make sure you ask the following questions.
How long should it be before we see noticeable improvement in attention/behavior? What are the side effects, medical, emotional, behavioral of these proposed medications? What types of things are likely to improve? And most importantly, what organizational/behavioral/disciplinary supports can we provide our child that will help him/her become more aware, less impulsive, etc?
ALL children benefit from structure, predictability and limits. Helping your child to be organized and accountable will be a great skill that will help him all through his life. Having systems and plans in place will help all of you cope better.
There is also great support and information available for parents of children with ADD/ADHD at Parents Helping Parents www.php.com in San Jose. A support group meets monthly and has great speakers come to present on a variety of topics.

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H.C.

answers from Sacramento on

I don't have any experience with ADHD but my son is a very active little guy. I have found that if he eats protein for breakfast (usually a sausage link) his behavior is much better during the day than if he only has toast or cereal for breakfast. I try to give him 1/2 a sausage link (big links), yogurt, and fruit most mornings.

I get the Aidells pre-cooked chicken sausages at Costco. I split the package into sandwich ziplocks with 2 sausages per ziplock, keep one in the fridge and freeze the rest. These are all natural with no nitrates so I don't feel bad giving him sausage most days. They are also pre-cooked so they only take a few seconds in the microwave to heat up.

Hope this helps.

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello S., I learned with my children ( I have 5) and the foster children that I raised a interesting fact. Many teachers are NOT TRAINED in really reaching out and keeping children engaged so they are able to learn what ever their need. They take the easy way out and say " the child needs medication, or strict diet" or "you fix it" . My husband was a teacher and I have his word on it that for many teachers this is a "easy fix". My son and 3 other boys were all "wild child types" as their teacher Mrs. Marchant told us. But she found ways to engage them and even while she had them in the back of the room moving and I believe hanging from the roof she could ask them a question and she said they were right there on task and with her. She may see them staring out the window but they were listening as well. She taught math using dinasaure bones because she learned fast that all the boys were into that and the girls My little Pony. All of those kids that are still friends still talk about that experiance and howshe made a differance in thier education. His mind is only able to think a few minuets ahead at a time as he is learning new skills. We have a child with Asperger's as well, and use the same things with him vs. medication.
We never used medication! We did learn to have a high protein dinner at breakfast time and a smaller meal at night. Literally I'd put a lassagana in the oven at 6 and we'd have it for breakfast or what ever solid heavy foods and then oatmeal at evening time-- great for the mess to be done and we liked that. I learned to make foods from scratch and not from a box so prevent food addidtives as much as I could.
I want to say with all honesty your son may just be an old fashioned active little boy that is bored. He may just have a spirit that makes his body want to move and jump and climb the next mountain. Children are very imited now for safety reasons, where my son could go miles on his bike and often did I'd not consider letting the young ones go alone or with just buddies now. Our kids used thier minds to make up fun things to do and burn off the energy but many tody don't get the chance. Your little guy is in Kindergarten not 1st grade, the year has just started and he has to make many adjustments. Please keep telling him that he is OK that the rest of the world just moves differently. He will take more effort to teach and that is alright when this teacher went into the profession she /he had to know that it is not all touchy and feelings but hard creative and rewarding work. You are right this is how he is made and God, doesn't make junk so he is going to find a compromise even if it means changing teachers! Good Luck and let us know what happens.

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R.F.

answers from San Francisco on

There is neurofeedback/biofeedback which is non-invasive. This is a technique where a therapist has him watch videos or do tasks that will retrain his brain & increase his focus. Relaxation and stress reductions skills can also be an adjunct to this. There are also other types of therapy groups that have proven effective with ADHD kids. It helps to have a teacher who knows how to work with these kids, and doesn't push meds. That said, it is hard to find one. Check out these websites for additional info:

http://adhd.emedtv.com/adhd/behavior-therapy-for-adhd.html
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/651.html
http://www.thepostinstitute.com

R. Faridnia, LCSW

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

I have talked to many parents who opted not to do the drug route for the reason you gave. There are lots of options I believe available and some parents I have know went the dietary route and others did alternative medicine. I met someone the other day who went holistic route. So many doctors these days would rather give a pill than think outside the box. I would recommend that you talk to the doctor and make sure that it is someone who will be open to something other than the pill route, plus do you homework so you know some of your options. God bless

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I, too have an ADHD kid, but I've never given him meds. When my son was in fourth and fifth grade he was fortunate enough to have a teacher who was, herself, a parent of an ADHD (grown) son. She recommended a book to me that really helped me understand more about my son. It's called "ADD - A Different Perception" by Thom Hartmann. He describes how there are decendents of farmers and decendents of hunters in our society. The "farmers" are comfortable sitting in a classroom tending to the tasks in front of them, while the "hunters" are always ready for action, always scanning their surroundings, making sure there are no surprises and that they can quickly react to any situation. These are the kids labeled with ADHD. He also gives coping ideas for kids (and adults) with ADHD.

I also wanted to echo the mom who mentioned that giving her son protein for breakfast made a big difference in his ability to focus. There's a book about this called "Little Sugar Addicts" by Kathleen DesMaisons. It's actually not so much about removing sugar from a child's diet, but rather feeding them in a way that boosts seratonin and beta endorphin levels - basically helping to balance the child's brain chemistry. I followed the relatively simple dietary suggestions in the book (mostly about timing, protein, whole grains, and necessary quantities), and the results were nothing short of astounding. My boy's still, shall we say, an active child? But his ability to focus has improved tremendously.

Good luck!

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V.R.

answers from Redding on

God did make him who he is for a reason but man made the school system and sometimes the twain do not meet. Americans have gone from a bunch of folk who probably had enough ADHD to decide to explore a new world, take ships across the ocean to unknown lands etc to sitting 6 -7 hours a day in a seat learning mostly auditorially. Auditory learning is typically not a strength among ADHD kids. Neither is sitting for 6-7 hours a day.
My son has ADD without the hyperactivity. His counselor told me about a study that some mean scientists did on dogs. They put them in a large cage and every time they got close to the walls of the cage they gave them an electric shock. Then they took the walls down and the dogs wouldn't move.
This can happen to kids. If they get enough negative responses to their awesome little selves, they can get stuck, hurt, afraid to move.
We did not want to put our son on medication. We have been giving him Omega 3 Jrs. He likes the lemon flavored. They can be bought in any health food store and sometimes at the grocery store. This does help my son but it wasn't enough where he could really learn all he needs to without his classmates calling him a retard for not getting his work done.
We have tried several diff meds with him and have immediately taken him off the ones that make him too sedated. Adderall has worked the best and he has kept his personality. We are not taking as much as the Dr. would like but that is ok.
You may have to change the type of school he goes to if you don't want to do the meds. There are alternative schools. Wish there was one just for ADHD kids.
Good luck to you.

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T.H.

answers from San Francisco on

A good psychiatrist would not turn your child into a zombie. S/he would adjust the dose or change meds to try to find on that does not have unacceptable side effects. Medications the most effective in treating ADHD, and doing school is very hard for untreated ADHD kids. That said, you can try behavioral interventions first. Also, some kids are very sensitive to food dyes and sugar, and while thee things do not cause ADHD, a child's response to them can mimic ADHD symptoms. Untreated kids often end up depressed because of all the negative feedback they get from the environment, and if they are not successful academically and socially, depression is often the outcome. Good luck.

A little about me: I'm a child psychiatrist practicing 16 years in Palo Alto; A 20yo son and 13yo daughter, both ADHD. Husband of 22 years is also ADHD. It's in my family, and I have "a touch" of it.

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L.O.

answers from San Francisco on

Ned Hallowell is a doctor with un-medicable ADHD, and has written many excellent books on the subject--Driven to Distraction, and his most recent Parenting for ADHD (or something like that--don't remember the names off the top of my head. oh well, here's the list:
DELIVERED FROM DISTRACTION
MARRIED TO DISTRACTION
SUPERPARENTING FOR ADD
CRAZYBUSY
CONNECT: 12 VITAL TIES
DARE TO FORGIVE
THE CHILDHOOD ROOTS OF ADULT HAPPINESS
WHEN YOU WORRY ABOUT THE CHILD YOU LOVE
A WALK IN THE RAIN WITH A BRAIN
DRIVEN TO DISTRACTION
POSITIVELY ADD
ANSWERS TO DISTRACTION
HUMAN MOMENTS
OVERLOADED CIRCUITS
THE HUMAN MOMENT AT WORK
FINDING THE HEART OF THE CHILD
WORRY

He is a terrific and compassionate writer with lots of great ideas for the ADHD kid and parent. Wish we had had the parenting one when our son was growing up.

best of luck!

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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Parents Helping Parents in San Jose might be able to help you get some answers -- php.com Look under "support" and then select the LD/ADD group. Below is some info I copied from their website.

Good Luck

The LD/ADD Lecture Series and Support Group meets monthly on the SECOND Tuesday of the month from September through May at PHP. We offer two opportunities for parent/professional support and information each evening, a Parent Support Group immediately followed by a Lecture given by a local professional. You may come to one or both of the events. There is a fee for the Lecture, but the Support Group is free. We ask that you be prompt and allow time for registration before each event. Pre-registration is not offered EXCEPT for the Learning Disabilities Simulation event.

6:10-7:15pm - Our regular Parent Support Group meetings provide an opportunity for parents to meet informally with experienced facilitators. The informal parent-to-parent meeting is to share ideas, experiences and information. Those who wish to share or simply listen are invited to attend. Being on time is very important so as not to disrupt the group and in order to give all attendees a chance to share their concerns. Note: Due to the early start of our Student Panel, there is no support meeting in March.

7:30-9:30pm - The LD/ADD Lecture Series sponsors a presentation by professionals speaking on a variety of subjects of interest to the group. New families and caregivers are always welcome as are professionals who support children and their families.

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R.K.

answers from San Francisco on

certain supplements like omegas, and PS (phosphatidylserine) have been shown to help. do some research on alternative therapies; there is a LOT out there.

one resource is dockidd.com. he's done a TON of research on treating ADHD with vitamins and supplements.

good luck!

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

If you're hearing stories about meds making kids like zombies, those kids were seeing really bad doctors for their prescriptions. That just doesn't happen anymore with the right medical guidance from a specialist. I have not heard of kids being like zombies on ADHD medication in decades, when non-specialists were prescribing and didn't really know what they were doing. Today, psychiatrists are extremely skilled in selecting medications and always start with the smallest dosages to see if the medication is right for a child. You then work up until you get the most benefit.

Don't let a general pediatrician diagnose. You want a specialist to evaluate your son. See a developmental pediatrician, psychiatrist or neuropsychologist. These are the professionals who can diagnose ADHD appropriately. You may be dealing with another condition entirely.

Don't listen to the scare tactics out there. Join CHADD and read ADDitude magazine for factual information about ADHD, if this proves to be what you're dealing with. Be very, very careful about all of the scams out there relating to "detoxing" and "natural cures." So much is out there that isn't government regulated and there are a lot of things that will just waste your time. This is a brain disorder, not something that will be "cured" by a vitamin anymore than vitamins cured diabetes or heart conditions.

We were reluctant, like all parents of kids with ADHD, to start medication. However, our son was not thriving in school and was unhappy. His behavior was off the charts at home and at school. Medication, combined with behavioral therapy, transformed his life. It's been all positive. All people see how is how bright and funny he is; they don't see all the negatives of ADHD.

Go to the evaluation with a specialist with an open mind. Discuss your concerns about medications with experts, not the general public. The medical experts can give you the factual information you need to make an educated treatment plan.

Best of luck to you!

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P.T.

answers from San Francisco on

You seem to be getting a lot of response. I just wanted to tell you my story to give you a different view. Like you I was told that my daughter had trouble focusing from preschool. She loved to move and talks nonstop but she is very bright. She had great teacher that worked with her and us through elementary school. We learned that she had to have protein for breakfast and lots of physical activity. She did well and had good grades through elementary school. It was always a struggle but we all managed to get everything done that she needed. Then middle school hit. She has 7 classes that rotate daily and lots of homework. It involved being very organized, something she just couldn't do. We spent the 6th grade year with a very upset little girl. She would cry every night and homework would take 4-5 hours. She would then forget to turn it the next day. Her grades suffered, her self esteemed suffered, and the whole house was frusterated. Finally we took her to see a behavioral pediatrician who did 2 days of testing and discovered that she does indeed have ADHD. He explained how it works and why. He recommended some ways to help her and school and to start taking concerta. We started over the summer slowly because I was worried about side effects. You will never believe the major change. She is totally organized, homework is done in 1-2 hours tops and she has straight A's. She feels like she is able to focus better and that the struggling was not her fault and no she is not stupid(this is what she thought). She has had no side effects to her medication and our house is so much calmer.

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C.T.

answers from New York on

Hi S.-

I have no direct experience - my munchkins are too young - but I have read a lot about it since it is a possibility in my family (and my son is just a terror so I am a bit worried). A few things I have picked up on:

- I know that often, exhausted kids (which of course results in all the above symptoms) are classified as ADHD.
- I also know (from my own experience growing up) that other things like dyslexia can cause the same issues. I struggled endlessly and hated trying to "focus" because I was having trouble reading and thus would fidget, etc.
- Maybe he needs more stimulation and needs to be challenged. Maybe what is going on is not "doing it for him".

I am of the opinion that with the right care, time, love and patience, a child can be taught about the right time to play and the right time to focus. This may or may not involve meds; but I do understand your concerns about them - I just think you need to embrace all options.

Good luck.
~C.

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V.B.

answers from San Francisco on

There is never an easy answer when dealing with our loved ones. I don't have any answers, as my 15 year old son with ADHD is "more than" a challenge. After several failed attempts on medication we stopped trying to give him medication. Medication caused him to have heart palpitations, lethargic, mood swings, but it was a constant war to get him to take the pills. He still refuses to take medication or talk to a professional about some of the issues we face because of his ADHD. I wish you the best of luck with your little boy and hope you have a doctor that can assist you with the many decisions you will need to face.

Your son is young and may not have ADHD, so have him checked, he may just be an overactive child. However, try cutting sugar, exercising, massage, watching his diet, and warm baths. Good Luck!

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J.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Check out this book - Last Child in the Woods. It talks about Nature Therapy, which I think is a huge help.

I'm sure my husband would have been diagnosed ADHD if he was a child today. Instead, he was just a trouble maker. What saved him was swimming. Every morning before school, he would swim for 1 hour. It seems huge, but it saved his life. The bonus is that he ultimately got an athletic scholarship to college. If you can't do swimming, perhaps just taking him to the park and having him run. I could be good for both of you.

Also, some of the most creative and successful people I know are ADD - school is hard for them, but in the end they can be amazing.

J.

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A.W.

answers from Chicago on

You've gotten a lot of answers. I didn't read through them for the most part- but I wanted to tell you my family's experience. My younger brother was diagnosed with ADHD while in Jr. High. He was on meds for a while and didn't like taking them. While in high school he decided to change his diet. First he went vegetarian and is now a vegan. After he cut out meat and a lot of sugar there was huge difference in him. He is 25 now and hasn't had any concentration or focus issues in about 9-10 years.I'm not suggesting anything for your family- vegetarianism is a very personal decision. I just wanted to share my experience with you. My brother is also VERY bright but always did poorly in school- due to the ADHD. I believe that is a common characteristic in ADHD people. Anyway, good luck and I hope you find a solution that is right for you and your family.

Updated

You've gotten a lot of answers. I didn't read through them for the most part- but I wanted to tell you my family's experience. My younger brother was diagnosed with ADHD while in Jr. High. He was on meds for a while and didn't like taking them. While in high school he decided to change his diet. First he went vegetarian and is now a vegan. After he cut out meat and a lot of sugar there was huge difference in him. He is 25 now and hasn't had any concentration or focus issues in about 9-10 years.I'm not suggesting anything for your family- vegetarianism is a very personal decision. I just wanted to share my experience with you. My brother is also VERY bright but always did poorly in school- due to the ADHD. I believe that is a common characteristic in ADHD people. Anyway, good luck and I hope you find a solution that is right for you and your family.

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M.W.

answers from Stockton on

Hello S.. I feel for you...I had the same struggles as each of my children entered the school system. As a former teacher, I have seen the children you mentioned...medicated to the point of being zombie like.

My children have never been tested for ADHD but teachers in Kindergarten started off the first week trying to self diagnose. Our children are very outgoing, passionate about learning, and excited to go to school each day...yet dislike all the sitting and being quiet..who wouldn't??? When our oldest,now in 5th grade and doing fabulous in his studies, was having a difficult time we decided to put him in Martial Arts. It really helped with focusing, taking direction auditorily then performing it. He learned to sit and be still while watching others perform their "forms". We also set up a chart at home for good behavior at school. Stickers would go on the chart each day if he finished his work, raised his hand to speak and let others answer questions ..etc. Then at the end of the week we would let him pick something from the prize box...or go out for a treat. I would even write little happy faces on the tops of his hands to remind him to make good choices.

Boys are often labled "hyper" when really it is just their nature to be more rambunctious, impulsive and energetic. Also in our home we focus on more important life skills like kindness, sharing, compassion and being thankful and do not worry so much about the early academics. If you read often together, instill a love for learning, nurture their personal talents..then soon they will blossom and natural maturity will tone down the impulsive behaviors.

Good luck... and remember you can always pray for inspiration of how to help your child succeed

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T.A.

answers from Toledo on

I know someone whose son's ADHD is treated with blood pressure medication instead of ADHD meds. He swears by it and says his son is an entirely different kid while taking his meds. I believe he is taking Tenex.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

Even if he does have ADHD and medication is recommended you could choose not to medicate. I am not an advocate of medication either; however, for the child that truly needs it the right medicine can be a wonderful thing (my niece is one of them).

You may considering some environmental factors (chemicals and other toxins in your home).

If some things work for you at home and they can be incorporated into his Individualize Education Plan (IEP), which he does not need to have ADHD to have, then that may be another alternative to meet his educational needs.

Please be careful to not let or use ADHD be a crutch for him. What I mean is every incidence of acting out should not be excused just because they have ADHD or that may end up being what everything is always blamed on and then he begins to use it. My nephew use to pick on his little sister, when she started acting out she got "yelled at" and it was because she didn't take her medicine. When I had them with me and she hadn't had her medicine (or even if she had), I made it clear that he couldn't do that because he would be in trouble and she needed to behave because missing her medicine did not excuse behavior.

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

Chiropractic care and acupuncture have helped kids I know. It may help to do some massage before bedtime too, if bedtime is an issue. Other than that, I'm sure there are ways to help him focus a little more when he needs to, but I don't personally know of any. I too have concerns with labeling a 5year old as ADHD, my 5 year old isn't the most focused either! They're just getting used to sitting, learning, and school!

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K.R.

answers from Sacramento on

As a former classroom teacher, I can respond with empathy for your child's teacher...but...I am not an advocate of medication. As has been suggested before, have his diet evaluated. I suggest the evaluation be conducted by a C.H.E.X.certified nutritionist. Not all bodies respond to the same foods in the same way. Your son's hyperactivity could be a result of a food allergy. Eating right for his body type could vastly improve his behavior.

You say that your son is "super smart". How has he learned at home? Has he learned sitting down, or through movement? His learning style could be very kinesthetic and he may need movement in order to learn. There is a great story in the book "The Element" where the author tells of a girl who was to be diagnosed with a learning disorder only to be taken to an astute psychologist who set up an impromptu observation of the child without the child knowing it. I don't want to ruin the storyline as I think the book is a must read for all parents, but from this observation he told the mother he did not advise medication, but dance lessons so she could capitalize on her need to move. The girl later went on to dance around the world in some of the most notable theater productions.

I almost want to apologize for our school system. It does not seek to support the learning styles of those who learn outside the industrialized visual/auditory model. Your son clearly has the need for differential learning modifications to meet his learning style.

Many children with focusing issues respond well with the use of sound therapy. Ask the school psychologist if there is a person in your area to whom you may be referred to see if such therapy will help your son.

I would speak with an educational consultant who can help you advocate for a learning environment that is in his best interest, inside the normal classroom. It takes some time to work through the nutritional panels, but having a normal, energetic and creative son should be worth the effort.

Good luck. Stay in his corner. His natural talents are needed by this world.

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

ADHD is a blanket that teachers use when a child isn't "submissive". You said your child knows everything he is supposed to know, is smart etc. Simple boredom and not being challenged could be more the issue. My brother is not ADHD but teachers always wanted to classify him as such. Once he was put in a situation where he was challenged and had work to do that wasn't too easy he excelled and the "ADHD" went away. My son is very much the same way. He's not ADHD but if he gets bored with something and it's too easy he gets all figity and won't do it and his mind wanders everywhere but where it's supposed to. I home school him for this very reason. In kindergarden some children just aren't at a maturity and developmental level to sit quietly for long stretches at a time like is expected. Again, not ADHD, but a developmental milestone they have not reached yet and a maturity level they haven't reached. Yes, there are some people who have ADHD but not nearly as many as get accused of it.

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A.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Wow. That sounds SO tough. I do have a few quick suggestions that I hope may help.

I do know I've seen information regarding wheat / dairy / food coloring / high fructose corn syrup & the relationship between ADHD. I have MS, so I'm always cruising the internet looking for information, and I've come across articles several times related to ADHD as well.

I also see a Holistic ND -- a doctor who has a medical degree, but whose concern is finding out why / how our bodies got sick and to support the body to heal itself, not to just give a drug for the symptoms. I've seen different herbs and such for ADHD as well, but an ND (not MD) would be able to steer you in the right direction.

My doctor is in Auburn, but she may be able to suggest someone in Stockton. You also may be able to do much of the research yourself. Good luck & let me know if you need help with a referral.

A.

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S.L.

answers from Fresno on

We bought a theraband rubber band and tied it to the front legs of his chair at school and he could kick it with his feet during class. The other kids didn't see it and he got his fidgeties out and didn;t have to get up and move around during class.

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

2 things have been shown to improve ADHD symptoms:
more sleep/regular sleep schedule/earlier bedtime and removing all artifical ingredients from the diet. So, no food with additives. Also, I agree with the exercise posts and vitamin supplements.

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N.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes you can do it naturally by balancing his body. Email me and I will give you some ideas.

Have a great day.

N. Marie
____@____.com

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P.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Cut out all TV, and go out in nature.
P.

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