Is NOT Serving a Meal at a Birthday Party Tacky?

Updated on September 22, 2011
A.K. asks from Minneapolis, MN
46 answers

okay sorry, but we scrapped the Gymnastics center idea because if only 4 kids showed up (a possibility) we would be paying $150 bucks for a few kids to jump around. not worth the risk of that happening. SO here are my other options for my DD's 5 year birthday party.

we are having an:

I SCREAM YOU SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM

party (at our house). I will have a full ice cream sundae bar with options of ice cream and fun candy toppings!

OPTION A: have the party at 11-1pm and serve bbq's and then the ice cream sundae bar and cake

OPTION B: have the party at 2-4pm and serve only ice cream sundae and cake

Is option b tacky? not serving a main course? if we did that I could make the ice cream sundae bar really fabulous and the games (scavanger hunt i think)/decorations really cool.

PS this will mainly be her grandparents, aunts&uncles and most of her cousins and MAYBE a couple daycare friends if they can come. her grandparents will be coming from 1.5 hrs away, but the others live within a half hour of our house.

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M.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I love option B its flippin fantastic Bc i mean kids are going to wants to have fun and thats what it is is a kids bday party. I do think a minor suggestion might help INSTEAD OF A MEAL OF BBQ why not put out a coupl party tray of snacks you know you see them for "tail gate parties lol" they make premade sets of crackers cheeses and meats that way the older folks can have a munchie while the kids are having a blast and it doesnt ruin supper! Go for option B and have FUN!!! Good Luck

2 moms found this helpful
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E.D.

answers from Boston on

A party from 2-4 and call it an ice cream social is not tacky at all! Maybe just put out some fruit too. Sounds nice!

2 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

option B is not tacky. However, we would not be able to attend. That is square in the middle of nap time! Many 4 and 5 yr olds still nap. If you have any nappers that do show up, they will be cranky and parents will be frazzled.

1 mom found this helpful

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would actually like to start getting away from serving "meals" at our daughter's bday parties, as well. Hey, I grew up in the 70s and it was games, cake and ice cream and presents. No meals, no "goodie bags," etc. Simpler times! Cheaper times!

My vote would be the 2-4 slot. Seems like w/out the meal prep, clean up, etc. you would be more "present" at the party and actually enjoy it more. I do think I'm going to do this for my daughter's next bday, as well.

4 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

I had my wedding at 2:00, so we could serve deserts only. No one thought it was tacky. In fact, everyone raved about the deserts and had a great time! If I can get away with it at a wedding, durely you can at a child's birthday party! I think option B, is great!

2 moms found this helpful

T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

I like the B option. You can always plan to have a meal with the Grandparents only.

2 moms found this helpful

S.K.

answers from Denver on

no I think that if your party is not during meal hours no meal should be expected. Cake and ice-cream are sufficient

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C.C.

answers from Visalia on

make finger foods/ chips and dips for the adults. ice cream theme for kids and adults. once the kids see ice cream they not gonna want bbq.

2 moms found this helpful

K.J.

answers from Chicago on

Option B is great! She is 5, so her guests will have short attention spans. A 2 hr party at that hour works great. My son went to his first birthday party a few weeks ago, from 2-4, and there were some snacks & cake (not even ice cream). None of the kids even bothered with the snacks--far too busy playing, the adults awkwardly pecked at them out of obligation to the hosts, but everyone had cake.

ETA: Since the grandparents are coming from far away, why not take them out for a birthday dinner with you later that evening?

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Since option B is not at a traditional "meal time" I think it's OK not to serve a meal.

Personally, I'd probably do 12-3 and have pizza or something before the ice cream.

Remember you'd have guests driving 1.5 hours, for 2 hour party...

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Hmm.... per the relatives: after all that driving... do they know there might not be a 'meal' for the birthday party?

But Plan B sounds fun/great/tasty.

But, you know your relatives best: would they, 'expect' some food/a meal at the party or not? Or would they be cool with that and the Option B.?

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

For a child'd party where only children are invited I would only do ice cream and cake.
Since my inlaws and mom and dad would come for the party and stay then I would end up serving a meal or two anyway.

I like option B, then order a pizza if grandma stays later.

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

i always do some kinda meal for my kids party its easy and fast i would do hot dogs&chips and soda's and some kinda drinks for the kiddos then cake&ice cream:) happy birthday to ur little one....have fun!!!!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Honestly, I think the idea of no meal is a refreshing change. Of course, if the party was at noon, people would expect lunch. My kids are much older now, 12 and 16, but one of my pet peeves is how we are this nation of obesity, but kids are seeing pizza and hot dogs as "snacks." I don't believe that pizza needs to be served as a "snack" at a 2-4PM party. That is not a mealtime. Snacks are chips, ice cream, cake. I think stepping away from this expectation of pizza at every party no matter what time of day it is, is a great idea.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Option B sounds fun! I think its understood when a party is around 2p that lunch won't be served.

M.

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

No, I don't think it's tacky at all, but if it's mostly family, could you ask everyone to bring something? If you don't want a meal though, don't worry about it. maybe plan to invited the grandparents who are from far away to stay for pizza or something though, since they are traveling!

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D.K.

answers from Seattle on

I like the option B~ I think I might do something like that for my kid's next birthday party :). Will save me so much time and frustration!

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A.Y.

answers from Detroit on

I usually have the kids' parties early in the morning (around 10:30) so that everyone is in a good mood or after nap time and we never have a full meal. Most people don't want to spend their entire day off at a kid's party so they never mind. We have munchies out when they arrive, let the kids play for 30 min or so and then it is cake time.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Why does everyone think they are entitled to a free meal because someone threw a party? I have had parties with and without meals. If I'm not having a meal, I usually still put out snacking foods, which I find can actually get to be more expensive!! LOL Regardless, as long as you're not doing it at a meal time, and your invitation is clear, I don't think it's tacky at all.
However, the grandparents that are coming from 1.5 hours away? That's 3 hours of driving. I would possible serve them a meal privately. Ask them to stay for dinner afterwards or something.

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C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

LOVE OPTION B!

Is there a LAW that you HAVE to feed them meals? Most of the time you have to BEG the kids to sit down for cake and ice cream much less a MEAL.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Go with 2-4. That's usually when I schedule parties because I don't have to worry about buying/prepping/serving/cleaning up a meal. I would plan on having family come earlier or stay later and serving them (especially the grandparents) either lunch or dinner before or after the party, but the school kids can just have cake and ice cream and it's just fine. Have fun!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

If the party is during a meal time, than a meal should be served, but with a party that is in between meals there is no need to have one, the ice cream and cake will be plenty.

D.M.

answers from Rapid City on

I don't think it is! I had my daughter's 2nd birthday party this last weekend and all we had was ice cream, cake, drinks, and couple bags of chips! I did her party at 1:30 to 3:30. So by then they should of had lunch and it was too early for supper.
Anyway, I would go with Option B so you don't have to serve a actual meal.

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Option B sounds perfect. I actually have parties at times like this in order to avoid serving a meal. It's not necessary and not tacky at all. Sounds like a lot of fun.

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R.W.

answers from New York on

Calling it a party and not serving any food is tacky. Just say your having cake and ice cream.

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

Go with option B.
Have a sandwich or something for grandparents if they are hungry they can eat before the guest's get there and the party start. Everyone else will be fine :)

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B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't think it matters which option you choose as long as you make the guests aware of your intentions. As long as they know they are responsible for feeding themselves before they arrive than I don't think it is tacky. Letting them assume you will be serving a meal and then serving them only ice cream is gauche.

My cousin has flip flopped between full blown meals and munchies. After learning the hard way the first time she did it, I now always ask her what she will be serving so that I can come prepared.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

You absolutely do not need to serve a meal at a party unless you're holding it during mealtime. Have the party from 10-12 or 2-4 and you can get away with just cake (or cake and ice cream). When I was little, parties NEVER included meals. We did not serve meals at my son's 3rd or 4th birthday and I don't intend to at any of his future parties.

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

Serving food is not a requirement. I only do cake and ice cream but when you do the invites, simply state that cake and ice cream will be served so that guests do not show up expecting more than that. Personally, I would opt for option A since folks may not appreciate cake and ice cream before their dinner should they consider eating dinner after the party. OR, you can provide a simple cook out for the family members but invite the other guests after dinner for cake and ice cream.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think it is too much of a hbit for parents to "have" to serve food and give gifts to the kids that come to the party. It's a party for one child, not a luncheon or party for the other kids. I hardly ever go to a party where more that ice cream and cake are served. I think that is enough for kids.

As for a family birthday party then they fit in a different catagory. If you want to have a family dinner and they are staying for hours then by all means go ahead and do that.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think that it's one of those things, again, where you do what's best for you and if your guests can't make it, then you accept their RSVP politely. You will never please everyone. I think it's a cute idea.

I gave my 3 yr old an afternoon party and had crackers, chips and dip, craisins...We also had some fruit and cheese, drinks, and cake and ice cream.

I look at it this way - my kid can have a "buy" on her dinner occasionally if she's been to a party and if I know ice cream is coming, I'll make her have a good lunch to compensate.

Generally, my family comes early or stays late because they travel. I feed them before or after the other guests arrive/leave.

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

It is always tacky to invites guests for a time when people usually eat a meal and then not provide one.
Having a party at 2 pm with just ice cream is a wonderful idea. Having a party at 11 am and serving lunch is great too, what would not be okay is to have a party from 11-1 and not serving lunch.
Hope it's a great party, I might use your ice cream sundae bar idea when my guy turns 4!

M.C.

answers from Pocatello on

I would serve a meal, only because usually I expect there to be a meal or at least snacks (veggie trays, fruit, maybe cheese and crackers) unless I am told otherwise... and some people might skip lunch if they think there is food at the party... Also, adults may not want to eat a lot of ice cream (i wouldn't since I am on a perpetual diet.) I don't think it has to be a HUGE meal... but serve something other than just ice cream.

Good Luck!
-M.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Depending on the time you actually select that's fine. If you are doing a birthday party 2-4 that would be totally appropriate......! Have some chips and salsa or veggie tray and pop for adults and you should have a great party! 11-1 tricky because it's lunch time and people are hungry :)

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I would definitely do it after lunch but well enough before dinnertime that it would not be a problem having the goodies. Hey, we all know dessert first is AWESOME. For the grandparents, maybe they can come and have dinner after or maybe even show up for lunch since they come from so far away. My sister had just cake for celebrating my niece's baptism and no one had problems with it--except certain realatives that never had any kind of party themselves and got made they got no free meal. But you can't please them anyway. I would just make sure the invite somehow indicates it is a cake and ice cream party.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I only expect a meal if it is during meal hours. However, when a party will be mainly an adult or family party, I think it is best to coordinate it with a meal. Adults expect to be fed :) However, you could really empahzie the ice cream only part. So basically, I think you could safely go either way.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

If you do it at meal time, you should serve a meal. If you are doing it between meals, you don't need to.

I would go with option B. You can always provide dinner for the grandparents after the party is over or lunch before it starts.

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

To me, yes its tacky. Ive been to parties for kids, and there was only cake and ice cream and we left, and had to eat else where. I was upset. I never throw any kind of party or like to go to parties if were not going to eat.

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L.N.

answers from Nashville on

Definitely not tacky. You have a theme - which I may steal by the way, because it is awesome! - you are sticking to the theme. You are not having it over a "meal time". If you are concerned, you may just jot a note, "ice cream will be the only food served"

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M.T.

answers from Washington DC on

We don't do parties at noon and we don't serve meals. We do provide plenty of snacks though. People always love mini muffins. They're not too sweet if you don't want cake and ice cream and they fill you up. Just make a ton! We also never do an appointed eating time. We encourage everyone to graze during the whole party. I like it that way.

Serve grandparents lunch before the party or have them take her out for a lunch date while you prepare for the party.

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D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think if you plan it between 2pm and 4 pm, then who would reasonably expect to be served more then just cake and ice cream?? Snacks maybe, but not a meal.

Grandparents can always leave a bit earlier and have lunch on the way out (or eat before they leave!) or because they are family, invite them to the house before or after the party for a meal with you.

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

You can serve pizza that you make yourself. It's not that difficult if you start from scratch. We did that at my daughter's sweet 16. We got the dough recipe from a good friend and made them as the teenagers who were watching 24 hours of movies in living room demanded them. We had salad too.
Birthday cake was served after the evening pizza.

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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

I've done both, and quite frankly your Option B is far more fun for ME as the mom, because I can actually take the time to enjoy watching my kids on their day instead of being in the kitchen and making sure everyone is fed. I do not think it is tacky at all. There is no rule that says you have to have a meal at a b-day party. :) Enjoy your child's day!

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

It is only tacky if you hold the party during a mealtime time frame and then only offer sugary yummy goodness.

Go for plan B..it sounds fun and a less stress option for you. Less stress birthday parties are more fun all around...it will make for good memories.

Good luck and best wishes at having a "screamin'" good time!! Sending you bday wishes!!

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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

I think option b is fine. Most people will have already eaten lunch by that time. I would have some snacks/appetizers just in case some people are hungry, maybe goldfish, fruit salad, chips, veggies and dip, etc. Plus, some people might not want all the sugar of an ice cream sundae, but might want to sit and eat with everyone else.

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C.S.

answers from Miami on

OPTION B for sure - sounds perfect!

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