Is It Too Soon to Let My Daughter Cry It Out

I never bought the "let them cry it out" bit. If a baby is crying, there is a reason, and the reason needs to be dealt with. At 4 moths old, they really are not old enough to be out to get you. Crying is the only way they have of letting you know something is wrong.

Yes, the cry it out method is not for babies under 6 months. If shes 4 months and crying, she needs something. I personally dont like to ignore my kid if they are upset. Just my opinion on the cry it out.

You are going to get a big difference of opinion and mom's who have all sorts of techniques.

Bottom line, they are crying for a reason, they aren't old enough at 4 months to be trying to manipulate you. At four months, I would definitely not let her cry it out.

Kids go through different stages, just because they sleep through the night for a while, doesn't mean they won't maybe hit a growth spurt and the routine changes.

Some moms' swear they have a technique to stop the night time crying but i wonder if the techniques work or if it's coincidence. I am talking about REALLY young ages like 4 months,...I'm NOT talking a about using techniques on older children which DOES work).

The first year is TOUGH :) Us Mommies are sleep deprived and it is not one of the fun parts of parenting but they grow quickly and this phase will pass. Hang in there Mom!

I know that I am in the minority, but no, she is not too young. The key with CIO is to know your version of CIO and be consistent. It doesn't mean that you just ignore the crying baby. If the goal is to get rid of the binky, then you either need to not give it to begin with, or only give it when she goes down, and not again throughout the night (I think cold turkey is the easiest). Then, you set a time limit, maybe 3 minutes. Let her cry, then go and soothe (getting the binky out of the crib without her seeing it if you choose to let her have it when she goes down). Then wait another 3 minutes, soothe, repeat. You can even stretch out those 3 minutes. The first few nights are going to be rough, so you may want to do it on the weekend. She will learn to soothe herself, and it will get easier. You just have to be strong and consistent. You know that all she wants is the binky, and that she can sleep through the night. This isn't cruel and unusual punishment. She will still know that you are there, and that she can count on you, but she will also learn that she can soothe herself.

I hate the cry-out approach, i consider it cruel and ineffective. There's always a reason if the baby cries, binky or not, so I guess until she's ready to get it back herself, toughen up and go help her (she's so small!) OR, like a momma suggested, take it away form her, but assist her lovingly in the process of accepting this change (which entails getting up at night anyways). A crying baby is just regular mommy-duty...it seems to me that we mamas are getting softer and softer compared to old timey, heavy duty, washing-machine-lacking mamas who did it all with many more children and less commodities..It'll get better, it always does!

For me, yes its too young.

She may still have the "startle reflex" which babies have. It is involuntary. They cannot control their appendages and have NO coordination or motor-skills, so it wakes them.

Also, at "growth-spurts" they wake too. 3 months old WAS a growth-spurt period. At growth-spurts, their intake needs increases and the frequency of feedings too. AND babies also go through "cluster feeding" which means they need to feed even every single hour.
So you must, go by the baby's cues, for hunger.
It is NOT set according to a 'schedule.'

Sleep, in babies, is not finite nor static.
It always changes, per their growth-spurts, developmental changes, age, changes in cognition and hitting milestones, teething, and many things.
That is why, their sleep patterns changes.

For the 1st year of life, feedings are important, and needs to be on-demand, 24/7, day and night. This is also per our Pediatrician.
It is a building-block time, for nutrition. Breastmilk/Formula, is not replaced by 'solids' or other liquids or a Binky.

When they are this young, sure, they maybe are using a binky. BUT they do not have the coordination to put it back in their mouth, when it falls out. Its normal. AND also, having the binky in their mouth... can also prevent the baby from getting a feeding. Which they may need. Not needing the Binky. So, I would give her a feeding. Going all night, without a feeding and during growth-spurts, makes a baby hungry.
So, make sure if it is the Binky or if she needs a feeding.

To me, she needs to feed.

put her to sleep on her stomach the pressure will help keep it in her mouth.
Yes she's too young to CIO,
The man that started that craze said to start at 6 months.

Sounds like she's in the middle of a growth spurt and needs to be fed at night. 4months is the biggest growth spurt, she probably needs more than a pacifier. Feed her when she first wakes and put her back to bed, she will probably sleep the rest of the night with that feeding because her tummy is full then. If you keep tossing a binky at her, she will keep waking because she's hungry.

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She is too young. I never did CIO, but my ped said to start at 6 mos if I wanted to do that... As far as the binky, she will eventually learn to find it and put it back in. If you want her to keep it for a while (which is fine as she's so young) it can help to put a few in the crib so when one falls out she can easily find one in the night... hang in there...

For me yes it's too young.

Ditch the binky ASAP.

For the first few months, it was helpful with my son, but when I went back to work at around 3 months, he would get up at night - not to nurse, but because the binky had escaped or dropped out of his mouth. I /knew/ he was not hungry. It was definately all about the binky.

As soon as it disappeared, things got better and he would only wake up once or twice a night to nurse which was fine with me and what I was use to with my daughter.

We started doing CIO closer to 6 or 7 months as this was when we started to wean out night time feedings.

Good luck.
~C.

Usually infants will cry for these main reasons:

1) They are scared/alone in a dark room
2) They need Mommy's body for warmth, love and reassurance
3) Hungry/thirsty
4) wet/soiled

Why a Mother would willingly deny their infant these things, I can't understand. I think this should be something done after the 9 month growth spurt. It's a short period of time, and what you do now will set the foundation of how your child views you and trusts you.

It's not until after 18 months that a child learns to use manipulation and even then - it's not with the intention to get the better of you.

I did the same binky thing!! And I also thought I was creating a bad habit. At 4 months I let my son cry a little bit but not too much. If he would cry about the binky I would just put it back in. Hated it though, because I would always have to run upstairs and do it. On a brighter note, soon she will be old enough that if she drops her binky she will get it by herself and place it back in her mouth. I do recommend not soothing her back to sleep because she needs to learn to do that by herself. Good luck!

Yes.

Create a master plan to banish that binky by 6 mos or it will only get worse!

Wow! Such a hot button issue. I believe Dr Ferber recommends starting his techniques around 5 months. I strongly recommend buying his book Sleep Solutions. It explains the methods that allow your baby to fuss and then be soothed at lengthening periods of time, until he/she learns to put him/herself back to sleep. This isn't cruel. My kids only took 2-3 nights of these methods and they have slept well ever since. For those of you who don't believe, I am not sorry because we are all sleeping in my house! My kids know that I love them. It isn't cruel, it is a method of teaching how to soothe oneself. Most people believe you just let the baby cry and cry, but this isn't the case. These people just haven't read the techniques.

So, go get that book. You have a month to read up and then you will be ready to regain your sanity!

ohhhhhhhhhh boy be careful, L S!!

There are moms on this site who will take every chance they can to call you cruel, lazy, nasty, etc for even thinking of trying the "Cry it Out" method, so watch out for these nasty responses! They will call you the worst mom and berate you for even THINKING of trying to let your LO cry it out!

Report them if they are too harsh! Good luck!

I would try to break her of the binky instead of CIO. Your quest to get her the binky in the middle of the night will still be there because she WILL cry if she doesn't have it and will not be able to find it herself. I can remember many a night crawling around in the dark looking for the darn binky. I even tried putting a bunch in so he would be sure to find one. Didn't work. I would never do that again if I had the chance. Just go cold turkey-may take a couple of days but will be well worth it.

Yes, it is too soon. I think you need to respond to her every cry before at least 6 months old.

We don't do CIO - but with 3 kids, sometimes the baby cries - sometimes he had to even at < 4 months. It just wasn't always safe or possible to tend to him.

He's 13 months now and is super bonded to me, so even though we NEVER let the other 2 cry, it doesn't seem to have broken the baby!

As I understand it, if the baby settles down within 20 minutes, it's OK to allow that much crying. You might need to turn off your monitor to make it for 20 minutes though! Good luck!

yeah she's still a little young for the CIO. I totally believe in doing the CIO method but they have to be old enough and remember babies will still go through growth spurts every couple of months and need to eat during the night. Tonight when she first wakes you should nurse or give her a bottle and that might be all she needs. Where she is used to going all night without eating right now she might just need 1 extra feeding to hold her over and she won't wake until 6 like normal. The CIO method shouldn't really be started until around 6 months so again I won't do that yet with her. But I bet this little phase will end in a few weeks. Again just try and feed her...I bet she's hungry.

No, she's not too young. It's best if she learns to feel confident getting back to sleep, the earlier, the easier for her. I think training kids to need help sleeping and then breaking the habit later is much meaner.

The key is making sure she's truly full by feeding her to the absolute max all day. She is still young enough to wake up if she gets hungry, so stay on top of that and you're good to go.

Once I learned the eating trick, my second two sleep through from 3 months. It's not about CIO, it's about letting her be so she feels secure on her own. Our kids all are very secure good sleepers who have close bonds with us.

Hi, L.S.
Did you say she wakes up because the binky falls out of her mouth?
Let her cry it out and don't put it in her mouth.
It is a habit.

Can you tell the different sounds for her cries? If she cries for her binky, then let her cry it out, if something else then nurture her.
Good luck.
D.