I've never been pregnant but I've had several major surgeries and I also deal with chronic anxiety. I was anxious before all of my surgeries but the amount of anxiety decreased with each one. The doctor and nurses reassured me each time but I still felt that I had to get my life in order in case I died. I'm 67 and still very much alive and have learned ways to keep my anxiety away.
I've also been anxious before each long trip. Anything that is a major change and requires out of the ordinary and possibly dangerous action causes those of us with anxiety issues to be anxious.
So, I'd say it's normal for you to be anxious. I also think I've heard that high blood pressure can cause one to feel anxiety.
How to reduce the anxiety level? First and most importantly, talk with your doctor about it. He can reassure you by discussing the labor in relationship to you and your concerns. Do what he recommends to keep your blood pressure down and yourself healthy. Focus on being healthy. He may be able to prescribe a mild anti-anxiety medication that will help. Second, get involved in activities that will support your sense of well being and give you something else to think about. Whenever you start to think about all that can go wrong, remind yourself of all that will be right. Think of that beautiful baby and the love you will be giving her. Remind yourself that the odds of you dying are very minimal. Immediately replace all negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
You might be helped by hiring a doula or arrange to see a professional person more often than you would otherwise. Build your support system.
I've been concerned about myself having heart difficulties. I'm 67 and it seems that there is info everywhere about heart attacks and strokes. My doctor used a chart by putting in my information that gave me a 3% chance of having a heart attack or stroke. That combined with knowing my test results has reassured me and I feel secure in knowing that I won't die of a heart attack. 3% is nothing! I'm just facing the fact that I'm getting older and won't live forever. Oh, to be young again! lol
I wish that there had been anti-anxiety and anti-depression medication when I was in my 20's and 30's. I take both now and feel really good.
In addition to the medication I am helped greatly by having experienced many things and realize that most things about which I worried either never happened or when they did were not as bad as I expected. I can see that every experience has helped me to grow and mature to be the happy woman that I am now.
I have gained in confidence over the years. Confidence in myself and in others. I know that I can rely on my doctors when I'm involved in my care. I am a part of my health team. I ask questions until I feel comfortable with the answers. I've found it's especially important to have a professional person with whom to discuss my fears.
You will not die! Go ahead and put together information for your baby that you can share with him/her when she's older. Once that baby is here you won't have time to get photos and journals organized and both you and your child will thoroughly enjoy talking about your history, family, experiences and looking at pictures.
My granddaughter is now 9 and nearly every week she asks me something about my past. At the grocery store, last week, she asked if we could buy the brand of milk that had a picture of a cow on it because my grandfather was a dairy farmer. Of course I said, yes. lol I wish I knew where all of those old pictures are. I wish I had journals on which to draw to tell her stories. Our children want to know about us when we were "young." It is important for them to feel connected to the previous generations; to know that they are a part of something wonderful.
You are on the right path!