I'm wondering how long everyone waited after miscarrying before becoming intimate with their spouse?
When I asked the nurse she just sort of pulled a number out of a hat. She didn't even know how long I was along in my pregnancy when I miscarried or anything. She just said, "Maybe 3 or 4 weeks..." I asked her again and she changed her mind and said, "Probably until you stop bleeding."
So what is the correct answer? I was 4 weeks (so about 25 DPO) and I miscarried on Saturday. I am CRAVING sex like a maniac which is very weird for me. I'm not usually like that. I just feel like I NEED to be intimate. Like my loss is driving my need. However, I made the mistake of telling my husband that the nurse said 3-4 weeks and he won't touch me. The miscarriage was smooth, I'm only lightly spotting and I feel GREAT physically. Is there any GOOD reason why I should wait? I've heard "risk of infection" is the main concern, but if we used a condom, then how is it a risk?
Please share your thoughts and if you're a nurse, mid-wife or MD please say so. My husband is turning his nose up at any information that is not medical.
Edit: The crisis has passed. Thanks for the comments everyone! I do really appreciate it.
My doctor told me that there was no reason to wait and as soon as I felt ready it was ok to go ahead and be intimate.
I had a miscarriage... and the Doctor told me to wait 3 months before trying again.
I would NOT go according to the Nurse... you must ask your Doctor directly. For the proper answer.
Your husband just cares about you... and he is being wise. He wants you to heal properly... and men too have feelings about a miscarriage...
take care,
Susan
Not a nurse or MD here but thought I would share my experience. I think once the bleeding has stopped, it is fine to be intimate. My doctor recommended a few months (to start trying again for a baby) but said that once the bleeding had stopped, it was okay to be intimate.
It sounds like your husband may be worried that he'll do more damage to you or that maybe he thinks that it's too soon. Explain to him that you need to feel close to him in that way and that it will help you heal. Also tell him you talked to a doctor (not the nurse) and he said it was okay '_____ after this amount of time.' I would also call and ask that question to your doctor.
Have you tried to reach your physician? Do you have a follow up appointment with your physician?
I would definately get an answer from your dr. but I think your safe to be intimate once you stop bleeding. I think you need to wait a few months before trying to get pregnant. But just sex should be fine once your bleeding has stopped.
Husbands are funny about these sorts of things. I'm sure your hubby wants to be intimate with you but he certainly doesn't want to hurt you. Our bodies are such a mystery to them. Maybe he could go to the dr. with you to discuss a plan of action.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I am a Healthcare Provider. If you are feeling so much better, your bleeding has basically come to a stop, hey go ahead. Don't go into it savagely, it sure sounds to me like you would like to. lol Go slowly as you have been scraped, but you seem to have recovered quite well. If you feel the need for a condom go ahead but I really don't feel it necessary. You may be more comfortable with using one. If your husband is still worried, it won't hurt for him to go gradually, even if he's worried himself he can still certainly help you out. You can still be intimate without actually having intercourse. Again, like I say, your on the well side of it so tell him not to panic. Your young, strong and you need him. Good luck!! Tell him he has to play the part, the ifs or or bouts!!
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After my miscarriage, I was told to wait one cycle but we couldn't! I was going crazy so we had sex three weeks after I had the D &C (I had stopped bleeding) and I got pregnant! So, yes, you can but be aware you could be ovulating and get pg. I've also heard we are more fertile after m/c.
I had a miscarriage last fall and had to go in for a D&C. They told me I had to wait until I stopped bleeding, which ended up being a little over 2 weeks. I was almost 11 weeks along when I had the procedure. I would think after you stop bleeding it should be fine.
I've had 2 miscarriages and was told to wait for 1 cycle by two different Drs. I was about 11wks along both times.
Good Luck, I'm sure that most guys could be "persuaded" into a little loving.
