Ideas? Report Card Came Home...

Hi T.. I'm not sure I can help much but I can offer my perspective on what I read. :-)

It sounds like your son is a lot like mine. Very bright, above average, etc.... My son has social issues in public school. He gets bored or whatever and tries to be the class clown and although he lacks some social skills, he realizes he is different and tries to make up for it by getting attention and making others laugh.

For future reference it may benefit him to get hooked up with the person in charge of giftedness in your district. I forget the title but I am sure you can be pointed in the right direction. We had to and found they can help in choosing teachers for your son that may be more work oriented in the classroom so the setting is more familiar.

We also found providing an outlet socially for him helps. Play dates or whatever you want to call it, staying ACTIVE in sports really helps our son.

I hope someone can shed more light on this for you. In my own mind a counselor (not school one) that focuses on kids could help. We took our son for awhile and it was more like a family counseling. He opened up to her more than if it were just us and we understood and he better understood the boundaries we set for him.

Best of luck!!!!!
M.

I'm a teacher, and here's my take on it...Granted I am doing this sight unseen since I don't really know you or your son:

1- He's adjusting. He has a new school and new home to adapt to. Adjusting takes time...Some kids need more than others. It may take him 1-2 school quarters to make the full transition.
2- Before, his social wings seem like they were pretty well clipped. Now he has freedom that he's never experienced before...much like what happens to many new college freshmen for the 1st time. He is learning in school or he wouldn't be making even C's & a B. He is also now learning social skills, which he did not have many chances to develop before. It's all part of the learning process...school learning and life learning.
3- If he has ever had even a touch of ADD before, he was in such a controlled environment that it never showed. Now his reality has changed, and so naturally his true learning style will as well. He may balance back out when the newness wears off some. You could also look into a tutor to assist him with being more meticulous and mindful of school concepts. He may only need a quarter or semester of instruction. This would also sent the message loud and clear that school work is still a big deal and matters...It matters and parents care so much that they go the extra mile and hire a tutor to help.
4- 5th grade...He's a pre-teen. Yep, that time has begun. Peers are going to become more important than ever. He may enjoy being involved in a sport or some other after school activity with peers so that he knows there is some built in time in his day to be with other kids playing a game. That way he's gauranteed of some fun kid time and he can feel safer devoting other time to academics. Maybe he'll feel like he won't miss out on all the news and action if he knows he can get with people for a game.
5- Sounds like he is doing the homework, and that is something. Praise him for that much. Many kids might totally tune out all together, but he has to adapt to the changes in his learning environment during the day.
6- Cooperative Education: This is a huge buzz word in teaching now. It means the teachers put kids into groups, (some assigned and some kids pick), and the students are expected to pool their resources and talents and work together. The idea is to teach them how to function as a group or a work team out in the work force one day. Instead, it creates a lot of opportunity for extra chatting and sometimes even slacking when one or two kids end up being the leader(s) and taking over for the others who do less work. Yes, as adults we do chat at work and get to know our colleagues. Kids need more guidance about when it's OK to gab and when it's time to work. Learning that balance is part of that process. I generally hate doing group projects as a teacher for the reasons I just mentioned, but I understand why some people think it's important. Maybe the group work needs closer adult monitoring or to be made more challenging and time consuming. Then it's "busy work", but oh well. P.

T.,

Part of this is your son, but the other part is the teacher with the lax attitude. During your conference you might try to tactfully bring up that the other children talking and playing is a disturbing influence that is negatively affecting your son. Sounds like teacher has a discipline problem. There really should be quiet until children have finished their work. It's not fair to the ones who are not fast to distract them so. The auditory learners are particularly being punished because they take in so much from their ears that any conversation is a huge distraction to concentration.

Best of luck, and let us know what you learn at this conference, OK?

K.

Hi T. -

Change is hard for everyone - but speaking from experience (I'm a 1st grade teacher) you should talk to your child's teacher(s). Often times what they tell you (teacher letting them talk/play/socialize) isn't exactly the correct version of whats actually going on. Even the good kids tend to twist the truth a little.

The teacher might actually be able to give you some insight - seeing things from his/her point of view may help you figure out whats really going on. Children often put forth more effort once they realize that their parent and teacher(s) are on the same page and that they communicate. :)

Hope this helps!

I say give him some time to adjust. Please don't take this as I'm sounding harsh, but he brought home c's not f's. Not to take away from the C's because I wouldn't accept that from my child either, but my child is not adjusting to a new situation. If it is something that doesn't change in the future, maybe he can sit away from everyone in the room and then "earn" his free time. Or, for every unacceptable grade he gets a consequence, for every good grade he gets a reward(maybe time with friends since that seems to be what is motivating him). All in all, I don't think you have anything to worry about, it sounds like you've raised him well, and if that is the case trust in that and know that he will realize what his responsibilities are and own up to them. Give him time to spread his wings mom! Sometimes letting our kids learn from their mistakes are the hardest thing to do.

Personally - I would talk directly to his teachers and see if you can work a plan out with them to help your son. I would not totally accept his explaination.