"I Hate School"

Montessori schools teach independence, if he was in traditional daycare until now he may feel they are being 'mean to him' . My grandson almost 3 goes to a Montessori school and my daughter loves it because they are teaching him to be a big boy and to do for himself. At 1yr old no more bottles at daycare, at 2 no more sippy cups and potty training begins. If the child wets him(her)self they clean-up themselves and change their own clothes etc. This is done with loving care but the kids are expected to become independent. If he is used to being treated like a baby and unable to things for himself he won't like it at first but he will adjust.

I would take him out of Montessori and put him in a traditional program. He may need something a little more structured.

I would give it some time. Preschool can be a big adjustment and he may do fine once he settles in more. If he's just walking around, no wonder he's bored. Can the teachers make him a helper, at least, so he has something to do if he doesn't want to participate in regular activities? That might be both fun and helpful.

That said, Montessori isn't for every child. He may prefer more predictability and structure: Art at 8 am, story time at 8:30, snack at 9, etc., making regular pre-k programs a better fit.

Again, give it another month or two before forming a strong opinion.

I agree with CAWriterMom about giving it a bit more time before making your decision.

Maybe Montessori is just not for him. Can you switch him to a "play based" preschool? Our son (who is very smart and now way above his grade level in 1st grade) loved loved loved his preschool.

Our 4 1/2 yr. old son started at Montessori school in Sept 2010. I felt the same way at first. He went to a daycare starting at 1 1/2 so it took a little adjusting. I wouldn't give up yet. We've concluded that our son was just so used to playing all day that because he was learning now while playing, he just needed time to adjust & he has. When we would ask him why he didn't like his new school, he would say "because they don't have legos".
Also, not sure if he was home with you his 4 1/2yrs. so Montessori or a more structured school would BOTH need time for adjusting.

Good luck!

My oldest started at age 4 and my youngest at age 3. It is not a easy transition for an older kid. They are expected to work independently and some need more structure. The teachers will often show a child a task and expect the child to work independently. I wouldn't give up without him actually trying the work. It may also help for you as a parent to sit in on the class to understand what work the kids do. I know I didn't understand what they were doing and didn't know how to support my child until I studied about the techniques they use. I don't know if your child was in a traditional school but Montessori and public schools are very different in the way they teach.

There is a six week "normalization" period at Montessori schools. They provide a lot of freedom for kids and most kiddos aren't used to that and it takes a while to adjust. Both my girls love their time at their montessori school (3 and 4 years old). We still have problems getting to school sometimes because they'd rather lounge in pjs, but once there, they have so much fun. I'm surprised the teacher hasn't talked to you about it taking a little longer to get used to the way it works. I wouldn't pull him out just yet. He truly may not be a good fit for the learning method, but it may be that he is just adjusting to how to choose his own activities. My now 4 year old did a lot of observing her first few months in primary but is doing m
uch more work now. Good luck!

One more thing, the term "Montessori" is not well regulated at all. Make sure it is a true montessori school with montessori trained teachers, not just a room where kids can wander. Our teachers are very good at directing students to choose works and help them find works that suit their interests.

What Montessori is your son at? My son is at Sunny Hollow in St. Paul and has been there for two years (he is 5 now). Last year, during his first year in the children's house, he went through a period where he "hated" school and I also seriously questioned whether it was a good fit for him, especially because he is very social. We stuck with it, however, and that was a very good choice for us.

I do think lots of kids have a hard time adjusting to the free choice and self-direction, especially if they generally prefer to work in groups or get adult approval (as my son does). What I realized, however, was that Montessori was a great way for my son to build skills in areas that were not natural strengths. Because I felt really confident in the school and the program (his teachers are wonderful) I decided that it was worth it to push through the "boring" and "work" of it all so that he could develop some independent work habits and self-discipline.

Now he is in his second year and absolutely loves it (and has for awhile - he was only unhappy off and on for about a month last year). He has learned a lot more than he would have in most play-based programs, has tons of friends and a real interest in learning.

I would definitely give it more than two weeks and I would talk to the teachers about giving him the most "fun" work possible to get him interested in the idea of independently choosing work.

Good luck!

B.