I Feel Anxiety Stricken, with Mild Depression.

Updated on March 07, 2009
D.S. asks from Porter Ranch, CA
4 answers

I have a Son that will be turning 5 this month. He doesn't seem to like his preschool. It makes it hard for me to keep him in one preschool as he has says other kids are not nice to him, but I notice at times he seems to be too sensitive about certain things at home that might not fly very well at school. For an example; He will show me something on T.V. or out of the car window, and if I didn't see it he nearly has a fit. Or if I'm playing with him, I have to move the cars a certain way or he has a fit. This kind of attitude won't work at school because they don't know him as I do. So here we go again changing preschools. I want to put him in one and stay there. One that has a loving,nurturing,fun, educational and might I add understanding enviornment. I don't want to put him in a place that's only based on how nice the kids are, but one where he learns best in, an enviornment where he likes he friends and the learning process too,..what should I do?? He is missing so much school because I am anxiety stricken over it among other things like finding work. Sometimes I just keep him at home with me while I search for work online. I've tried looking for a profitable home biz, but most have been scams, or cost too much for start up and advertising, so forget that. The last thing I need is more bills, time wasted and more anxiety.
Help!..Mom's a mess!I don't know if I should put him in a Montessori school,Homestyle setting, or continue with the preschool center setting, perhaps trying out a new school with a better chariculum. Any body been here before?

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sounds to me like both of you have every good reason to be a bit anxious and depressed. You should be super proud of yourself for removing your family from a dangerous and unhealthy situation!

This is not a school problem, this is a mental health issue. Have you both been seen by a repuatable therpaist? Sure sounds like PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), and given your history it would fit. This has nothing to do with the school, and moving him from place to place will not help, and will most likely worsen the problem. Sit down with his teacher and explain what's going on. You might also want to consider waiting a year to have him start kindergarten. It would be cruel to ask him to conform to a schools requirements at this point.

Please take the next step toward healing and get some psychological support for you both.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

It seems to me that the little guy has had a lot of change and turmoil in his short life, and needs some extra understanding. If I were you, I would stop changing his preschools, it is only adding to the turmoil in his life. Also, be consistent about his going to school unless he is actually ill, and talk to his teachers about your concerns - they can help mediate with other kids and help him learn ways to interact. When my daughter was almost 4, she would frequently tell me that nobody wanted to play with her at school, but it was usually just an exageration from one little incident of one child not wanting to play. So have a dialogue with his teachers.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

D., I so understand how you are feeling.

I highly recommend taking your son to H.E.L.P. (The Hollywood Education and Literacy Project) located here in Hollywood. It is a free program and they will truly show your son how to study successfully and it is such a safe place. I suggest scheduling a free tour to find out more.

Here's their data:

Hollywood Education Literacy Project International
6336 Hollywood Boulevard
Hollywood CA 90028
###-###-####
http://www.helplearn.org/index-flash.html

Please feel free to call me at (323) 906~2784 or e~mail me at [email protected]____.com if you'd like to talk.

I'd love to help however I can.

With love,
L. (MAMA to 17 month old Dylan Orion.......29 September 2007) : )))

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

D.,

I'm a single Mom to a 2.5 year old little boy...and, I know how hard it is to find steady work and keep your child happy and healthy.

First, let me say this finding a school is rough. I have taken my son out of one because the program didn't suit his needs...so I get that. But, try not to make excuses for him, because it will start with that and move onto other things. Have you talked to the teachers at his school and found out what he's like at school? Maybe you can work with the teacher's at his school to help him learn to have more patience and deal with situations with more understanding of others. After all, as he gets older he's not going to be able to have his way all the time anyway. It won't fly in preschool and it will just get worse in Kindergarten and 1st grade and so on...

Changing schools gives him an out...he knows eventually you'll give and let him stay home with you.

With my son at first I felt enormous guilt for having him in daycare. That made my days with him stressful as I found myself making up for it, but being easy on tantrums and other things. But, this is the best I could do at the time. And, it was hindering my ability to really provide for him to the best of my ability. So, at the time he was 18 months, I found alternatives and my Mom retired and taught/cared for him at home. My family made sacrifices to help me and if you have that kind of support you should ask for the help. I know not everyone has that luxury...but, maybe you could find a different kind of school setting or home school.

Start working with him now on patience. Talk to him about his reactions to things. I wouldn't recommend discipline, because that will just confuse him and frustrate. There is still time to teach him about recognizing his emotions, identifying and dealing with them constructively. Try getting him some books that show various emotions, and help him look at them and see them. When you're watching TV (if you do) actively help him see what the characters are going through, and show him how they deal with that. I love shows like Franklin for that kind of stuff.

I also have been seeing a therapist to work on the issues of loss I feel over the relationship with my son's father...and our current state of no communication and anger with each other.

It's okay, I know how tough it is. It's really a process of doing it on your own. And, I commend you for doing what it takes to make your son's life happy and healthy. You are an amazing Mommy!!

I hope some of that helps...it's just hard to get all the stuff out that you want to in these posts.

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