How to Talk to the Daycare Lady

C.,
It sounds like the people who recomended her may not have taken an infant to daycare, or they just weren't paying attention. Everyone is right, there is a limit as to how many kids you can have per person. It used to be two kids under the age of 2. I don't know if that has changed. You also have to have a liscense to run a daycare legally. Otherwise, the daycare provider can do whatever they want to do and get away with it. Does she have one posted on the wall somewhere? Anyway, look into it, and don't put it off, you don't want something to happen before it's too late.
W. M.

Hi C.,

I have to agree with the woman who said to just nicely bring it up and see what happens from there. It will be awkward but it must be done and you'll feel much better afterward. You may even preface the conversation with a "this is a little awkward BUT..."

My PERSONAL experience was that I much preferred a Children's Center vs home day care. The regulations are stricter and I get full reports (when diaper changes occurred, what was in the diaper, what, how much and when they ate and when and for how long they napped). I honestly don't know how daycare providers do it - the adult to child ratio is crazy. My preference is not intended to negate the incredible work that in home providers do BTW. Just sharing...

It is really common for the babies to get sick a lot the first year in daycare. There are just a ton of germs floating around but it gets MUCH better as they build up immunities. I wouldn't worry about that too much unless you suspect toys are being washed on a regular basis.

Lastly, to venture away from what the other moms are saying. If you son is coming home with dirty socks that is strange BUT at least you know he isn't being placed in a bouncy chair and left to entertain himself. To me, that indicates they are involving him and letting him cruise around and if it's socks then they are holding his hands and helping him. My son could stand while holding onto things by 4.5 mths, maybe yours is doing the same?

Okay, off the soapbox. Best of luck to you!

T.

Just say it nicely, but you are paying her so you have a right to say whatever you want. Just start with, "I'm concerned that..." If she has a problem with your talking to her then you need to find a new daycare person.

Kids always get sick a lot when they first start going to preschool or daycare or anyplace with a lot of other kids. It seemed like my kids were sick nonstop for three years when they were little, and they're hardly ever sick now. (Of course, I did become a hand-washing fanatic, so maybe that has something to do with it.)

Hi C.- When I first read this I mistook your sons age for 4.5 years and thought you were being a little uptight. I mean kids get dirty right? Well a 4 month old should not be dirty at the end of the day. Like the other comments I wonder how his socks would get dirty. I agree that if a baby that young is consistently being returned to you dirty and snotty then he is probably not getting enough attention. I would be very direct and just calmly talk to her about it. Also be sure there are not too many kids under her care each day. If so a relatively quiet baby could easily get ignored. Good luck!

Let her know that you often go places right after daycare, so could she do a quick look at your son before you get there to make sure he's ready to go. Provide plenty of extra clothes as backups in case he's dirty, so there's no excuse for him to be left in dirty clothes. Be kind and say something like, "I know you're looking after several kids, but we often go places after I pick him up. Would you mind doing a quick review of my son to make sure he's clean and ready to go before I arrive? I've brought in some extra clothes and washcloths so he's all set."

I am starting work next week and putting my 5 month old in an in home daycare where my 2 year old has been going for almost 2 years. My daughter is always clean when I pick her up and my lady will even redo her hair after nap. It doesn't sound like your lady is putting in any extra effort and I would definitely talk to her. She may not be noticing these things which is also a concern. Kids do get dirtier at daycare. The 1st year babies get sick really easy, but being exposed to germs is good because they will develop a good immune system. My 2+ year old hasn't been sick in a year and she goes to daycare full time.

C.,

It sounds like she is neglecting your son's needs. There is no reason why a 4.5 month old baby should be coming home with dirty clothes and snot on his face. I would talk to her and let her know that you would like your baby to be changed, clean and ready to go when you pick him up. Pack extra clothes and wipes for her to use. If you are not satisfied with her answer or the results you are getting, get another provider.

Good luck.

Molly

C.,

I can't figure out how a 4.5 mo old baby get their socks dirty. They wouldn't/shouldn't be on the floor without a clean blanket. The crib should be clean.

If she's taking care of too many children, so many she can't take the time to clean a stuffy nose, then perhaps your child dosen't belong there.

If you like her besides the socks and the nose, how do you talk to her? You speak to her in a professinal manner. You are her employer and she's taking care of your most precious gift.

It shouldn't matter if you are going out after your pick him up or going straight home. If his nose needs tending to, it should be taken care of.

Simply say: Mrs. ____ or if your on a first name basis: His nose is still running or he still has a bit of a cold. Could you please clean his little nose and face with a warm cloth a few times a day?

I wouldn't worry to much about the dirty socks...but I still can't figure that one out.

Blessings....