How to Stop My Son from Bitting

I had the same problem with my now 10 year old son. I tried everything! Finally in desperation, when he was two or three, I remember crying when I called his pediatrician asking for help. The pediatrician advised me to place a drop or two of Tabisco on my son's tongue after he bites. My first thought was OMG! But then I did it to myself and it was unpleasant but not so bad. After two or three times, he quit and never started again. FYI - my son's pediatrician has been around the block a few times, he was my pediatrician also.

Oh, I know how frustrating this can be! Both of my children were biters--they were a bit younger than your son at the time and did it only when they could not find the words to express their feelings--usually of frustration. My daughter did it a big longer than my son and even bit her cousins a few times! A friend told me about a book called "No Biting" (by Karen Katz) that we bought. There is a series of these from the same author on how to teach children the appropriate way to behave with others (on is on manners, etc.). It says things like "No Biting Your Friends" then the next page says "What can you bite?" and you flip up the page and it shows a picture and word "Apples". Of course you can add other suggestions too. Other things are "No Hitting Mommy" and "what can you hit?" "A drum!"

Basically, it gives YOU the words to help the child understand what they can and cannot do with those natural urges they have but how to do so in a way that does not hurt others. Whenever my children would bite I would hold their face to mine (not forcefully, just to get their attention) and say "No! and remind them what they COULD bite.

I think just apologizing to the other parents in person or in writing is enough. Just the fact that you acknowledge the problem and are dealing with it seems to usually be enouhg. To pretend like it is not your problem is when there can be more issues!

Good luck!

P.S. We got our book at Target but I've also seen copies at my local library.

As a former infant caregiver/daycare teacher I've had my share of biters. It does sound like the teachers are not watching as diligently as they should. You can't turn your back on a biter at any time! So I'm wondering what is triggering the biting, is he not getting his way, is he bored, did the other child have a toy he wanted etc. If you can figure out the trigger you may be able to help curb the behavior.

I don't necessarily agree with biting him, that could backfire by sending the wrong message and making him angry. Then he may bite when he is angry. I know in some cases where it worked and others where it just made things worse.

As far as the parents of the other kids just talking to them and apologizing may be enough. Maybe you can arrange a play date for the kids to make up and have Alexander apologize. (maybe not if they are not receptive.)

You may find some more helpful info and support at www.babycenter.com there are tons of great articles and message boards. I searched for biters and this is what I found:

http://www.babycenter.com/search/showResultsForContent.ht...

Good luck! I'm sure you will find something that works!

Edit

I wanted to add one more thing, I hope you told the director how his teacher kept referring to him as terrible. She should be ashamed of herself. A teacher should never refer to a child that way, and definitely not over and over. I had my share of terrible 2's and 3's but it's all the way you handle them. Children don't come out of cookies cutters there is no one way to handle a child, you have to adapt and meet each childs specific needs.

Hang in there, I'm sure things will get better. (Maybe a new daycare is in order?)

I have also used the "bite back" method on my boys as a last resort. My youngest just would not stop. He bit me and drew blood on my thigh (he was three) and I bit him back. On the arm, just teeth marks. He was more surprised than hurt. I explained that it hurts when he bites and not to do it again. He didn't. I would not go out of my way to buy something but if you see the parent of the bitten, just apologize. I would turn it back on the "camp" about keeping a closer eye on the kiddo. These biting scenarios are avoidable if the child is monitored. Good luck to you and your biter. My kids are older now so I have the luxury of finding this humorous. CB

I am a grandmother raising 4 great nieces and nephews that now between the ages of 5 & 10. We have had them for 3 years. The little boy, the youngest, was 2 when we were thrown back in the saddle. He was a biter and not potty trained and I thought we would never over-come either one. We tried everything, but what seemed to work was patience and consistency. We kept re-inforcing that your teeth were for eating and unless he was planning on eating someones arm he better keep his mouth closed and not bite anyone. He eventually worked.

My son was a bit younger when he stared biting, so he didn't really get the 'biting back' thing. Instead, I pulled gently on the top of his ear. This caught him by surprise, thus dropping his jaw and releasing my flesh. lol That's when I would tell him 'no' and that 'we bite food, not people'.

It wasn't until he was a little older, about your son's age, that he started biting again. When he bit his sister or brother, I instructed that sibling to bite him back. I asked him if that's what he wanted and did it hurt...then explained that they don't like it either..and 'we bite food, not people'. He remembered that prase from before and it kind of lit up in his eyes. Only tood a couple of times to be bitten back by a sibling before it was over.

Be blessed in your journey!

When my children bit me, I thumped them laightly on the end of their noses. Got their attention, close to the point of the infraction & left no marks. I only had to thump each child once or twice...this method also worked with puppies & kittens! Kids are in their 20s, dogs are 13 & the cat is 9 years old, and none of them has biten me in years and years! Hope this helps--good luck!

First of all as a former director of a preschool they can not dismiss your child for something that is developmentally appropriate yet socially unacceptable. Be sure and use that phrase. Let them know that you are talking about it everyday at home and using the phrase mouths are for kissing and not for biting. Also ask them to shadow your child a bit better. If they really want him to stop they have to be careful of where and when it happens. It is probably happening when he is being encroached on. Ie... someone is trying to take something that he has. It could also be happening when someone has something he wants- in both scenario's it is the responsibility of both the caregiver (camp teacher) and the parents to teach appropriate ways to deal with his stress instead of biting. If he does it at home you can do what parents have done for many many generations and the only thing that made my kids stop instantly- bite them back immediately and hard hard hard. I have 4 and the first 3 used biting as a defense mechanism. I only had to bite once and say "see, biting hurts your friends don't do it anymore and they never bit again. It sounds harsh but it is effective. Good luck!

I will give you the same advise my mother-in-law gave me for my 2 daughters.
"When thier daddy was a little baby, he had a terrible habit of biting. One day while at a grocery check-out, back in the day when cashiers still had to push buttons, Little David bit his mommy's neck with his tiny, sharp teeth. Without thinking, his mommy bit him back and he never did it again."

I swore I would never bite my kids, but one day the same thing happened to me. Except I was not bit. My oldest bit her little sister on the cheek. It drew blood and I lost all self control. I grabbed her arm and bit her. It was a tiny, pinching bite. I would describe it as an ant bite. No blood, bruising or breaking of the skin, but it got the message across.
We talked about it later and my husband who at first was upset, later said he remembered that his mom did the same to him and how it hurt his feelings more than the actual bite.

My son bit when he was around 2 years old. A friend gave me this advice... bite him back. As cruel as it sounds I did it. Though he did not stop that very day, he did get the picture, and hasn't bit since.

Have you thought of getting one of the chew toys that babies have or a little floppy stuffed animal. Perhaps something to hang onto and console might help.

When my son started to bite I thumped him on his cheek. It only took a time or two for him to get the picture that it was not okay and he stopped almost immediately.

WOW! I know how you feel. I had a biter, too, 13 years ago.
He bit when he was frustrated and could not find the words to solve a problem. Toy taken away at preschool? Just bite the kid and he'll drop it!

I know how horrible a feeling it is to have a caregiver/ teacher tell you your child bit someone!

We tried being nearby in new or crowded situations to help monitor what was going on and stop our son pre-bite. We used words to describe how he was feeling and helped him with words to tell the other child. The biting always stopped the action that was bothering him, so he had lots of reinforcement that that was a good tool. This worked well from ages 2 -4.

Then when my son was 4 1/2 a new neighbor came over to play. He was a very rough boy. I watched as the new kid pushed my son off a swing and jumped on. My son reached over a bit his arm. And I did "the bite" on his arm---pressed front of my teeth into his arm and he screamed from the surprise and the indignity of it all. Never bit again.

A phone call of sincere apology is sufficient to the moms of the bitten children.

Hi I had a classroom of two year olds and this issue happened a lot!!! I haven't really heard of it with 3 year olds. Do they use their words, or does your child have trouble doing this? If so I guess this is how they are communicating?!!? You need to just keep telling them you only bite foods, biting your friend's hurts others and they won't want to be around you if you are going to hurt them, encourage them to use their words, or go to an adult if that's not working? You can show them pictures online of bites marks, esp that have drawn blood, maybe that will visually be something that will help them stop. And if all else fails tell them babies that don't talk bite, reiderate how big boy's and girl's use their words not biting or hurting friend's!!! And for the other children that have been bitten, I'd suggest just an appology, because if any children see gifts, cookies, anything in this nature, that will encourage yours to think it's okay, and it might make the other kids to want to be bitten to receive these gifts from you. Well good luck, and I hope some of this will help you, Jules :)

Perhaps when he is in unfamiliar surroundings or nervous around new children, he regresses to expressing his frustration/defensiveness with biting.

Have you asked him why he bit? At 3, he should be able to express or describe what factors lead to each incident. You might have to work at the real answer, because he's been disciplined for it and may not feel comfort in speaking truthfully about why he did it.

Perhaps try to arrange some weekend playdates with a child in his class. He might feel more comfortable if he has someone he sees as a friend.

Don't mean to sound negative, but if I was in your shoes, I'd start looking/arranging for a plan B...