How to Stop Bed Wetting.

Updated on March 18, 2008
B.D. asks from Forest Lake, MN
24 answers

My son, Josh, is 3yrs 6mos. He has a step brother, age 6, who visits every other weekend and we're about to have a nother baby, a girl. Josh wets his bed every once in a while. No big deal, he'll grow out of it. But Im wondering if once the baby is born, he will start wetting his bed more. How do I get him to stop wetting his bed before the baby is born? I know he's gona want more attention once she is born but I dont want the bed wetting to continue. Please help!

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S.K.

answers from Omaha on

get a bed alarm. You can get one off the internet. I have used them and they work great. I have borrowed mine out to a few friends and it has worked for all of them.
Good Luck.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Bed wetting is to be expected at his age. It is perfectly normal until age 6 or 7, the age at which most pediatricians will consider it an issue. Both of my sons wore pull ups at night until kindergarten. If it were me I would just put him in a pull up at night and then neither one of you need to worry about it. He'll stay dry through the night when he is ready. You don't need extra stress with a new baby coming! Congratulations and good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Contrary to popular belief, bed-wetting is not a decision kids make in response to their emotional worlds. Bed-wetting is a Blood Sugar problem that is easily remedied by:

1. Giving the child a high-fat/low sugar meal before bed (toast with natural peanut butter, cheese and crackers, cheese alone...)
2. Letting him drink water (not juice) until he is not thirsty any time of the day or night.

When blood sugar levels drop, the brain sends a message to the bladder to release. This happens to all of us: you may notice that you almost always need to pee just before you are ready to eat a meal.

In young children who's bladder sphincters are not so strong, the bladder will simply release because of this weak sphincter. Giving your son a high-fat/low sugar snack before bed will keep his blood sugar levels up through the night.

Dehydration is also a problem with blood sugar. Without enough water in the system, the body will use up the snack sooner as it tries to extract the water from the food he has eaten.

Avoiding hunger and dehydration are the key to a dry night. Trust me - I found this out when my daughter was 7 and still wetting the bed. I thought she was a medical case, when in fact, everything that I did to make it stop made it worse (no eating/drinking after supper... etc...). She stopped bed-wetting and got a better night's sleep starting with the first night. A few accidents now and then happened - but she never went back.

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S.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

This is something that he will grow out of. Be patient. I was a bedwetter myself until 11 years old. It was something that I could not help. I was not trying to get attention. I was a heavy sleeper and unaware that it was happening at the time. Sometimes I believe that it can run in the family. My father was a bedwetter and I also had a brother that wet his bed until he was 14 years old. My children wet the bed until they were 7 and 8 years old. Thank goodness for the overnight pull ups. I am from a generation before they had such things. My mother changed sheets on my bed and my brothers bed daily never complaining once, making us feel badly or embarassed. She is a saint!! Hang in there!

S.

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S.H.

answers from Green Bay on

Hi B.,
I've heard on at least 3 occasions where artifical colors and perhaps flavors were connected to bed wetting. It worked for us.
Best of luck,
S.

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J.S.

answers from Appleton on

bed wettin is not unasual for that age more so for boys try not letting him drink to close to bed time wake him up and make hom potty before you go to bed and just realize he isn't doing it on perpose. his bladder just needs to grow more. try using good night pants they help save some wet sheets tell him they are underware for big boys that just need some help at night until they grow more

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

B.,

You can't really do anything about this one. Doctors don't even consider it an issue until age 5-7. We have two boys who still wet the bed (ages 3 and 5.) We limit water intake before bed (nothing after dinner) and make sure they use the potty before bed. I wake up my older son at 10pm to go one more time before bed and that usually works. I can't do that with my 3 year old because he gets very upset. We also talk to them before bed each night and remind them to get up if they have to go.

Our situation is kind of weird because they CAN stay dry and have for over a month at a time under certain circumstances. When we vacation or are staying away from home, they never wet. But they get comfortable in their own beds and I think they sleep deeper.

I think they do also wet in response to stress, so it may get worse for Josh when the baby comes. My then 2 year old rarely wet the bed until my husband moved here to MN (we had to stay behind several weeks and finish the move) and he started wetting the bed every night. When he saw dad over Thanksgiving he immediately stopped, we went home and he started right back up. Moved here and he stopped again abruptly.

You can also maybe have him wear a pull up if he will comply, but my kids found them very offensive by age 2 1/2 and wouldn't wear "diapers" to bed, so we teach them how to strip and replace bedding and make sure they have extra pajamas and tell them not to wake us up if they wet, just fix the situation and they do.

Good luck,
S.

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W.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi B.,

This may not be what you want to hear, but I am not sure you can get him to stop before the baby is born. He will grow out of it, although who knows when? My son, who is almost 8, still wets occasionally and I have been reassured by our pediatrician that this is normal for some boys. To encourage success for him, we keep this neutral, knowing that he wants to be dry and sometimes his brain listens to his body and wakes him up and sometimes it doesn't. By keeping it neutral, he sees it is not a big attention getter from us and, at the same time, it is not a judgment from us.

To prevent this from becoming a big deal, continue to praise him for all of the things he is doing and what a big boy he is. Talk about how he can be your helper when Baby comes because he can do so many things Baby can't. Make him feel special for who he is and reassure him that there will always be enough love for everyone, even with Baby coming. We have 3 children and I found that by asking the boys what I do that makes them feel most loved, I got some fun answers and now know how to make each of them feel special. Be sure to find time to do this before and after Baby comes to remind them how special they are to you. If the bedwetting continues, make it a non-issue. If he sees it gets him attention, it will continue with more frequency.

Good luck!

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L.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I really don't think the bedwetting is going to get worse because it isn't a behavior issue or one they can control.
Some of the things that we have done that helps a LOT to control bed wetting have been to have the child take a tablespoon of locally produced honey before bed. There are also natural bedwetting tablets in the natural supplements aisle in our grocery store.
Honey works really well! I am not sure why. I know that it helps with allergies and asthma, and allergies can be a cause of bedwetting. I just know that it works!
The best thing would be to see if it will work for your step son and then get his mom on board with it too. And I am sure she would love to help him stop wetting the bed.

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J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Do all the regular things - limit fluids before bed, use a good overnight pull up, etc. and let it go. If bedwetting increases briefly after the baby comes, that is typical and OK. He'll get over it. The main thing is not to stress out over what might happen. Every kid is different. I made mine change the linens and wash themselves up, which usually was enough of an incentive to get it under control. Making the concern a focal point can actually lead to it lasting longer!

SAHM of seven

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A.M.

answers from Appleton on

My daughter is 7 and still has occasional night time accidents. It's always when she's forgotten to visit the bathroom right before bed. We've made it a point not to make a big deal out of it. Her pediatrician said she's just got a small bladder and is a sound sleeper. We make it a point to limit fluids in the late afternoon/evening and to be very sure that she goes to the bathroom right before bed. 3 and a half is still very young to worry. He may have an increase in accidents when the baby comes, but don't let that worry you. It probably won't last long. Just be sure to pile on the TLC. You're lucky that he's potty trained at all! My 3 yr old isn't interested at all, loves his diapies. Good luck!

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T.V.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi B.,

I am sorry to hear about your son's eneuresis problem. That must be very frustrating. Have you ever thought about taking your son to be examined and gently adjusted by a chiropractor? I have worked in that field as as office manager for 7 years and have seen many positive results from that type of treatment. The body is a complex machine, by God's design and it is a whole unit. When and if one area is affected, there can, more than likely be other areas out of alignment or have a blockage somewhere. It can be caused by a subluxation somewhere in the spine, which can cause a whole other area of the body to perform in a wrong manner. So, I would definately check it out and it is totally non-invasive and very effective. I have witnessed this first hand.

Best of luck to you,
T.

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J.F.

answers from Madison on

As many other moms have already said, bedwetting is not something he can help. Usually it happens if your child is a really deep sleeper or his bladder just has not developed fully yet, which it does take longer for boys. Also it is hereditary if you or your husband were bed wetters, it is likely your kids will be too.

There are things you can do to try to prevent it though. There is this thing that we found really made a big difference for us. It is called double elimination. That is where you not only have the child go to the bathroom before bed, but about 1/2 hour before that. That helps ensure the bladder is empty. On top of that, we try to give bedtime snack an hour before bed and we do not allow anyting besides water to be drinken an hour before bed also. We also bought a bedwetting alarm, which worked wonders, but it is not recommended to use one until age 6. Even though we have done all this and my now 8 year old son has been dry at night for the past 2 years, he will still, very rarely, have a wet night. So don't expect it to magically stop overnight.

Overall, I would say to not be concerned overly much at this age-it is still pretty normal, even most doctors will tell you so. Especially if he is dry most nights and it is only once in awhile that he is wet. Most likely that will correct itself in time. Our son was wetting heavily every night still at age 6 which is why we decided to use the alarm. Good luck-and congrats on the new baby!

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L.B.

answers from Hickory on

Lots of children are alergic to fabric softeners (and other things). Once our MD told me to stop using softeners my son immediately stopped wetting the bed so we didn't need to look any further for answers.

K.C.

answers from Davenport on

Kids wet the bed, it's a fact of life. Don't make a big issue out of it or it may get worse rather than better. At this age, simply show him how to strip his bed after he wets, keep a towel or something to cover himself with in the laundry room, and have him take his blankets and covers there in the morning and strip before heading to the bath. Keep a basket just for his things when he wets. This will help him see that you are willing to help him and will be most beneficial to his sense of self worth as he grows. As stated previously, some kids are simply sound sleepers and it will take time for his body to catch up. Any unusual upset, such as a new baby, will cause his bedwetting to increase for a time, so be prepared for this to happen.

My son wet until he was nearly 14 (he's 16 now and dry every night). My daughter, who is 13, will wet after an especially active day (when she sleeps too soundly) or when she is overly upset about something. I pay close attention to when she wets and if it is not after an extra active day, I sit down and talk with her, but not about her wetting. As she's gotten older, the wetting has become less and less and is now nearly non-exsistant and she takes care of her bedding and clothing herself (knowing how to run the washer and dryer).

I was also a bedwetter until age 12 and remember well how my parents made a big deal out of it and how awful I felt as it wasn't something I could control, it just happened. Seemed that the harder I worked to control it, the worse it got because I was always embarrased and worried about it. Even now, at age 40, I go to the bathroom several times before bed because I still worry that it might happen though it stopped many years ago.

With my kids, by not making a big deal out of it and treating it as something that simply happens as a part of life, they were able to learn how to take care of it and themselves much easier and it didn't stop them from sleepovers as it did me. Also, limit or eliminate soda pop as it seems to make the bladder overly active, especially at night.

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C.H.

answers from Des Moines on

Kids especially boys can wet the bed until they are 6. When the baby is born have him be involved with the babies care. Let him help you with feeding and help you get the diapers and clothes when changing the baby. By involving and talking to him while taking care of the baby he will know you still love him and feel like a big boy. When the baby is asleep let him help you drag the clothes basket... to get chores started but then spend some time coloring or play with him before he goes down for a nap as special time for the 2 of you. As for the bed wetting, make a big deal out of when he is dry and makes it through the night, and act sad for him when he has an accident, do not humiliate him as this can make it worst. If he is older than 6 make sure there is not an underlying problem, Bladder problem... at that point and if there is no problem there are tools on the market that can help. A wet alarm that goes off when he starts to wet himself and wakes him to go to the bathroom, maybe he is just a sound sleeper. I am a mother of 6 and fostered 2 and have grand childern it does work itself out do not worry.

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T.D.

answers from Des Moines on

I wouldn't worry about it, is your son a deep sleeper? My youngest brother wet the bed at time up until he was about 10. Our current neighbors have a boy who will be 5 this summer that wets at night (wears pull ups at bed time), he is a very deep sleeper. So I wouldn't pressure him at all about it, he probably has no control over it yet. His body will eventually catch up with him. Just limit what he drinks after dinner time, have him use the restroom before bed and put keep using pull-ups at bed time so you don't have to clean his bedding.

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C.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi, B.!

I have 2 kids: a girl, 7 and a boy, almost 5. My son has occasional bed-wetting, too. I don't know whether you will be able to stop your son's bed-wetting entirely. After all the 3 things that we can't control in our kids are: eating, sleeping, and going to the bathroom. And they know it!

What you *can* control is how much attention he gets for it. I like your attitude of "no big deal he'll grow out of it". Because, you're right, he will. Continue to treat any bed-wetting as such, "Oops. Okay. Let's clean up and get back to bed." Then bed-wetting will not become a source of attention-seeking behavior. Your patience with him will help a lot.

It may be hard for him to adjust to having a baby. Try to give him some of your time and positive attention and give him a part in helping you with the baby. Bringing a diaper, singing a song, gently laying a blanket on the baby when she/he has a nap. You may still have an increase in bed-wetting at first. Bed-wetting tends to increrase during periods of stress. But hopefully as you all settle into your new routine, things will get drier and more peaceful.

Best of luck to your family!

C.

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L.S.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Cut off his liquid intake for 1-2 hours before bed time. My little brother used to eat saltine cracker & peanut butter "sandwiches" with very little to drink about a half hour before bed. He may be a heavy sleeper, so you can TRY to wake him to use the bathroom before you go to bed, but I'd go the first route a few weeks first.

L. preschool teacher and mother of 23 yr old mom to be and 21 yr old mom of a soon to be 4 yr old

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S.T.

answers from Appleton on

3 and a half is a very young age to expect a child to stay dry through the night. Most kids are not dry at that young of an age. Please do not pressure him. If he has accidents, don't humiliate him...

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C.K.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi B.,

Bed wetting is something some children just have a problem with. I don't think there are any solutions that will just automatically make them stop. I suspect you've tried not giving him too much to drink a few hours before he goes to bed, and sometimes I think it is a lot like potty training...give them a little treat for being dry the next morning and sometimes that seems to help. Try to use only positive solutions to try to help him stop doing this because he probably doesn't like it anymore than you do, and if he sees that it is a way to get attention, especially negative attention (Children seem to crave negative attention when they are jealous) it could become more of a problem when the baby comes.

My son wet his bed occasionally until he was 6 or 7 years old, and then all at once he didn't. It actually bothered him more than it did me, so be gentle, because I really don't think children would do this if they had a choice.

Good Luck!!!

C.

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J.K.

answers from La Crosse on

B.,
There is no way you can do that. I have two 8 year old boys who still wet every night. The facts are that night training is the most difficult, and that each year of age fewer and fewer children will wet thier bed. There is no control you can "teach" to work during the night. Either his little bladder can hold it or it cannot. Outside of making sure he is not drinking more than sips from about 1 hour before bed there is not really anything you can do. I just went in to see our pediatrician about my boys again (I do every 2 years on this matter)and he reassured me of each of those things. I do not think the baby has anything to do with this and I doubt there will be much correlation between his wetting and the baby being born. I would not worry about it until it happens. The thing is that older siblings will generally choose something they have more control of to get attention- rather than something beyond their control like night wetting. Make sure you are setting aside time just for him and that he still gets time with you. My kids say that when I would put the babies down and let them fuss so that I could take a moment with them, it meant the world.
Just remember, he is still very little and there is no need to rush. Most boys dont even daytime potty train until his age, let alone night time dryness.

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J.F.

answers from Rochester on

If it was a chronic problem I'd say visit a chiropractor specialized in infants and children. My son had a similar problem when he was 5 and all it took was one visit to adjust his lower lumbar vertebrae. My chiropractor explained that the vertebrae in the lower back can cause incontinence if they're a bit out of place.

If it's just a sporadic thing and you're worried about how he'll adjust to Baby coming, I would suggest talking with him while you're playing or coloring and bring up how things will change and ask how he feels. When you have that distraction of playing you don't get the feeling of being interrogated. :)

I was very worried about this with my son when my second was born. He'd been an only child for four years, and was (needless to say) VERY spoiled. :P We talked alot about the baby being born and how he felt. He also took an active roll in helping care for her by getting out diapers and wipes for me, or shaking up her bottle, etc. I think it helped him to be an active part of her daily care, even if it was something as small as giving her her blanket. I'd say just chat with him a few times to see how he feels, reassure him you and Daddy love him, and tell him how excited you are that he gets to have a baby sister. Good luck, and congrats! :)

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H.A.

answers from Waterloo on

I wouldn't look for it to "get worse" on purpose from him, I doubt it's something he can control (which is perfectly normal for boys and for his age). If you're worried about it just do the usual things to help him not wet: make sure he goes right before getting into bed and cut off all drinks around 6. I would try not to put him in Pull Ups, especially with a new baby coming. He may think they're too much like diapers, and babies wear diapers not big boys. Just put a water proof cover on his mattress, under his sheet. He'll grow out of it when his bladder matures-- but be ready, that might not be until between 6 and 8 yrs.

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