How to Politely Ask a Friend If She Could Change Plans

She lives out of state so my guess is you don't get to see her often. I would tell hubby to get over it for one night. Not only that but if she is coming for this weekend and you already said yes, do you know if she can make alternate arrangements for the night on such short notice?

Just tell her. Say, Hubby has some important meetings/tasks Monday and is going to need some extra sleep. How about if you come over sat night and we go to dinner?

Or just say I just realized that Sunday won't work for us. We would love to have you over Sat instead. I hope you understand. NO explaination.

Tell her Saturday works for you, Sunday doesn't. You don't need to explain why (her son staying up late, your husband having to work the next day.) If she balks say, "you originally said Saturday, which would work, then changed your mind. Sunday won't work but Saturday will." Don't try to explain it or you may get caught up, but remember everyone is entitled to quiet or family time. She may say she no to Saturday but stick to your word, don't waffle.

And do get together away from your home if she's still agreeable to it :)

"Hey, Jane, you know Bill gets up very early Mondays for work so we'll have to make it an early night...unless you'd rather come Saturday--that would work."

Oh great, a drunken co-sleeper. Just what the world needs...sorry, just sounds "wrong"!

"Hey friend, you know, it just doesn't work for us to have company on Sunday nights. However, you could come stay over on Saturday night, or I'd be glad to come and grab a drink with you at your hotel. What do you think?"

If she doesn't let it go, or asks questions, just say "Seems like our good time the last time really kept my husband up-- he couldn't sleep with the noise. So, I'm trying to do it a little better this time around. Can't complain when he's working so hard for us." Nothing more should need to be said. This isn't blaming it on him, either, it's just a explanation. She chooses to cosleep with her son, which isn't a big deal either. That said, when I coslept with my son at that age, I made sure he went to bed at a reasonable time and once he was asleep, THEN I could join the other adults. (I didn't think they should have to deal with a tired kid because of our family's habits.)

It's called being considerate!

Simply tell your friend that a Sunday Night sleep over will not work due to the family schedule, then offer to see her Sunday afternoon and drive her home or split the cab fair.

BTW, it seems that she not so politely demanded you change your plans.

Would one night of discomfort hurt your hubby?

I would love to have the friend visit (not so much the child up late with us though).

I think a hotel would be more fun as the two of you can really talk about things that hubby might not wanna hear.

Mamas, lighten up! She wants to have a drink with the girlfriend--she did not say get DRUNK. The child is safe with three adults. Come on guys!

I would tell her, she can come if, she respects your "rules."
ie: quiet at night your Husband works you all need sleep.
No noise loud playing late at night, per her son.
No drinking/partying.
BECAUSE, your Husband works and wants quiet.
This is your house.
She would be a guest.
A proper guest... would RESPECT that. And just be thankful they have a place to stay for free.

It is not "blaming" hubby. It is stating your house and living arrangement rules. And your schedules.

We've had guests. For 1 month. We tell them our schedules and our kids' sleep times and noise rules. And they always, respect that. Because, they are a guest... and this is my house.
You just tell the person.

Honesty:

Sunday only works for us if its lights out at 9pm.
Saturday we can do late night up talking.
Or we can just do a daytime thing.

Give her the options you can live with, and have her choose.

Instead of telling her no, can you just call her and ask her if she would please go to bed early with her son instead of drinking so that it doesn't keep your husband up, since he has to get up early on Monday?

She will for the first time understand that she causes a problem with staying up late.

If she says no, then tell her that she needs to make other arrangements.

I would just tell her that since "John" as to be at work early Monday, that Saturday night would work better for the two of you... or if she is busy, that maybe you could get together during the day?

You aren't "blaming" it on your husband, but you are trying to tactfully tell her that Sunday night just isn't a good night......

I think you really just need to tell her the truth.....

TRUTH....you said it yourself. "Hey Jane....Sunday doesn't work for me, everybody's gotta be up early on Monday, can you come Saturday?"
Stand up for you and yours! And listen to your gut....on the fence, means you are better off saying NO.

So she wants to drink too much to drive, let her toddler stay up until midnight (while she's drinking) and then co-sleep? I think I'd have bigger concerns than what day she was coming.

Just tell her.."I am glad we will get to see each other while you are in town. If you want to stay over on Saturday as originally planned that is great. If not, we can go out somewhere on Sunday but overnight guests on Sunday isn't going to work".

"Sorry, Jane, but we have plans on Sunday night" (you do--to get some high quality sleep). "We aren't able to do Sunday. Saturday's the only night that would work out for us." You don't need to elaborate or justify--that's the truth.

Either be honest with her.....or just have her over and have fun with her.

You are not prepared for company at this time, and should be honest with your friend.

have fun for a night...

I'm glad you called her to ask her to do another day. That's what I was going to suggest. When you have friends that are good enough friends to spend that sort of time in your home, then they should also be good enough friends to discuss things like this openly. Great job!

I would tell her that Saturday would work well for this, not Sunday. If that doesn't work for her, offer to meet up with her another night. This lets her know that you still want to see her and spend time with her, even if you can't accommodate her change of mind about the original plan.

Tell her that hubby said no way since it was Sunday night and he has to work. Then offer a hotel room where you can go and hang out til the wee hours then drive home and let her sleep how she wants with her son.