How to Help a Toddler Who Seems to Always Be Cranky.

I have this kid!
My son just turned 2 and is so much better but let me tell you between 14 to 17 months I wanted to give him away. He was terrible baby (I love him to death) but he cried all the time, he never slept unless I was holding him, nursing him, or co-sleeping with him. Everyone told me it would get better but after dealing with him for more than a year it was getting worse. He was shy, clingy, mad. I just didn't really get along with him. He wouldn't really play, all he did was throw toys, throw food and cry some more. He would get frustrated so easy and would not accept any help from me.
I talked to my pediatrician at his 18 month check up and he said he was a normal healthy kid and to keep in mind that some times the hardest babies make the best toddler. I just have to hang in there.
Now fast forward to now...just 6 months later. My son is sweet, loving, listens. I can not believe the turn around in him. It is amazing.
One of my sons biggest problems was his brain knew what it wanted but his body couldn't do it or his language wasn't up to par to tell me. I made picture posters of things that he got frustrated about. On the fridge I had pictures of the food he likes so he could point to them. On the closet door I had pictures of most of his toys so he could point to them. When we got up in the morning I started doing a chart mapping out his day. I would draw a picture of breakfast, then books (library time), toys, lunch, nap, snack, daddy home, dinner, play, bath, bed. My son was and still is very bad with transitions and I think knowing up front what was coming for the day helped.
He now has a great vocabulary and understands the flow of our day better.
I also gave him tasks similar to what I was doing. If I had to do dishes I put a small dish pan of water on the kitchen floor and put some plastic dishes in it. If I had to fold clothes I let him play with the socks and underwear until I was ready. If I had to cook dinner I gave him things to cut with a little playdoh knife (melon, cheese, tofu...anything soft). This kept him included without me holding him all the time.
I hope you your daughter is like my son because if so you are heading out of the nasties!
Good Luck!!!!!

My 3rd is now almost 2. She was one of those, "crying since the day she was born" types and started having scary, deliberate angry tantrums at nine months old, yes 9 months old!!! My other two weren't nearly as difficult, and thy started tantrums at 18 months old (and did NOT get away with it, and learned not to try it, and still don't have them). Anyway, I come from a long line of disciplinarians, and some of my step sisters on my mom's side have up to 10 kids. At least one or two in every family were like this.

We actually discipline the crying rather than comfort it or ignore it. Lots of people are appalled at the concept, but it really works, and you have a much nicer child on your hands after all the tears from discipline, and to be honest, you'd have just as many tears without discipline with these kids! Mine was REALLY a battle until she was about 15 moths old. I even had to discipline her in public which made her scream even more and I got LOTS of stink eyes from fellow shoppers, but you know what? My child, my life, my husband travels all the time, I can't just hide out and afford a sitter all the time.

She's AWESOME now. No tantrums, I can take her with us, and she nips cry fests at a warning. She's super bright and stubborn still, but she knows I'm boss. Friends who knew here when the was the "constant cryer" have said things like, "It's amazing how she outgrew that!". Uh huh. Amazing. Outgrew it. Just like that. Yup. If they ONLY knew.....anyway, not everyone is philosophically OK with disciplining toddlers firmly, but I've never seen it NOT work when people do it. If you want more info let me know.

My son was never a happy baby. He had terrible colic has a infant and his crying would never never end. He is now 2.5 and still cries alot. He also gets frustrated very easily, loves to be held all the time and is very demanding. Things that work with me:.. I give him many options whenever I can so he feels like he has some control over whats going on around him. I ask him if he wants this or that for breakfast, what he wants to wear for the day, ect. I also take him out a lot. I used to be afraid to take him out of the house because I would get so terrified of the embarrassment his tantrums cause. But now I just do it anyway. He knows that if we go out to have fun, and he throws a tantrum we go home and he goes to time out. I make sure I set boundries and stick to them. I try to find things he likes and make sure I play with him. I make sure he gets plenty of exericise and most importantly, I ask him why. If he gets upset, I ask him why hes upset. If he tells me, I try to make it better, if he doesnt tell me and just starts screaming and stamping his feet, he gets to go to his room with no toys to play with. With these actions, he cries a lot less because he knows nothing will come of it. If he wont stop screaming, I sing 'row row row your boat' at the top of my lungs and he usually stop crying and smiles. Sometimes, I just hug him and he'll stop. He used to scream his tail off whenever Id put him down (he loves to be held all the time). Finally I got tired of my arms always being tired and occupied. So now I just say.. 'I cant hold you right now, hunny, and ill bend down and he'll sit on my lap for a minute and then get up and play with his toys. He loves loves loves to scream and cry, but when that smile comes, its all worth it!~

Hi,

I would consider writing down a journal log of her daily activities, certain cues that she has that are leading into her being cranky, foods she eats and the times she goes to bed and naps throughout the day. Keep this log and in a few weeks you will start to see some similarities of when she is getting tired, overstimulated or needs to have a break. Bring this to your DR and they can help you get her on the right track--sounds like she is out of balance and getting overstimulated. Best wishes

M

I'm so sorry!! I'm in SLC....kind of far for a playdate, but you're always welcome!! My husband is a student at the U, so I understand feeling like a single mom sometimes!!

I'm wondering if she's over-tired?? How is her sleeping? Most kids needs more sleep than parents realize. At her age, she should be sleeping 12 hours or so a night and still taking a solid 2-hour nap. When my son was a newborn, he cried all the time until I finally put him on a strict sleep schedule with an EARLY bedtime. He is almost 5 now and STILL goes to bed by 7:30 at the latest or else he is really cranky the next day.

Contact Early Childhood Intervention, in your county. They will observe her and determine if further actions need to happen. Pediatricians aren't really trained to deal with behavioral issues. Your daughter needs to see a Dr. that specializes in pediatric behavioral issues. There may be nothing wrong with your daughter, but if she needs a little extra help, they are the ones to do it!!!

.

You've gotten some really good responses so far. I agree with Bug about contacting Early Intervention. I think that's a great idea. Also I love the ideas that MommaP had- wish I'd thought of doing that w/ my 1st!

The only thing I wanted to add is that sometimes babies who are difficult have sensory issues (sensory processing disorder/ sensory integration disorder).

My 1st son was difficult from birth, and it wasn't until he was 11 that we discovered that he had sensory issues. When I looked @ the symptom list, a lot of his behaviors made sense to me for the 1st time. Anyway, if that's the issue, working with an occupational therapist who has training in sensory processing disorder helps a lot!

Here is a link to the website I got my information from- it includes a symptom checklist- it's really looooong. SPD has so many different symptoms in different categories. Your DD could have no symptoms @ all in many categories or have only one or 2 symptoms in others. There may be 1 or 2 categories that have several. Most of us have at least some of these symptoms, and it really only matters if it causes problems in your life.

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...

Here is a checklist more specific to babies/toddlers. I like the one above better because it divides symptoms into categories, but this one is helpful too. I think it's worth checking both out.

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/SPD-symptom-ch...

If after you go through the checklists you think this may be the reason for your DD's behavior, I recommend printing out the relevant pages so you can refer to them when you talk to your DD's pedi and an occupational therapist. I did that and found it very helpful.

Hope it helps, very best wishes!! :)