How to Get Rid of the Pacifier - Olathe,KS

Updated on February 08, 2010
B.H. asks from Olathe, KS
21 answers

I am switching my son to a new daycare/preschool that does not allow pacifiers and my son still has his for nap and bedtime. I've been meaning to wean him off of this sooner but our parent as techers advisor suggested that since I was on bed rest pregnant with twins I should wait. My poor 2 year old boy is having a hard time adjusting to the new babies, but he starts his new school next week and I need to try and find a way (or at least try) to get rid of the pacifier.

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So What Happened?

I ended up cutting the end of the pacifier a little each night. 3 nights later, he wasn't asking for it and hasn't since.

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B.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I did what Lori S. did - cut it a little at a time. My 3 year old threw a HUGE fit, had a hard time going to bed/nap for a couple of days, and that was it. After I cut it the very first time (just a little snip so that the air came out of it) she didn't want it again, but threw the big fit that night.

My 18 month old (at the same time as my 3 year old) didn't mind that it was snipped. She kept it in her mouth. I kept snipping more and more over several days/or weeks, I can't remember, but it was gradual. She kept that thing in her mouth until there was hardly anything for her to hang on to then decided that she didn't want it anymore. Good luck.

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't know why people get so upset over pacifyers because the thumb is just as hard, or harder, to break and you can't stop that if they decide to go to that. Some of mine did go to the thumb after the pacifyer was taken.
I am just concerned that this will be extra h*** o* him having just had twin sisters. We have two sets of identical twin grandsons from two different families and in both cases the older child had the most difficult time adjusting from being a baby or only child to having two taking up so much time. I hope you will do whatever you do gently and with that fact in mind because he is already going through major changes right now.

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C.W.

answers from Kansas City on

As a past infant daycare person, Believe it or not, your son will probably do just fine without it there. Tell him he needs to leave it in his car seat and it will be there when you pick him up. Since they do not allow them, he will adjust to not having it there and will do fine. I have seen this first hand with MANY little ones, including my own son. They do just fine at daycare without it, but as soon as you are out the door a melt down happens over needing it.

Stand strong and he will be fine!

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't think he needs to go cold turkey. Too many new adjustments, and he should be able to keep at least ONE thing that he likes!! I agree with Beth - drop it in his car seat as you leave and make sure it is there when you pick him up.

If it helps him sleep, let him have it at night. Both of my kids were binky babies and I took alot of heat from people about it. Those people had thumb suckers and their kids were still sucking their thumb when they were six. My kids gave the binky up completely on their own when they were about three. Give him time - it will happen naturally.

Congrats on your new twins!

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S.C.

answers from St. Louis on

We just went through the same thing with our 2 yr old daughter a few weeks ago. We told her she was a big girl, and big girls don't use binks. We then told her that we lost the binks and we couldn't find any more. We had one night of crying, and that was it. After that one night, she has been perfectly fine. She still has her blanket with her so that is her comfort at night. Now she looks at me before bed and smiles, saying "no binks!"
We are not giving our son a pacifier, for this reason. Plus he refused one, so that made it easy.
Good Luck!

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

There is not going to be a "painless" way to do this. I think you are going to have to just "lose" the pacifier and be prepared for a couple of hard naptimes and bedtimes. I would talk it over with him first, explain WHY he needs to give up his pacifier. Suggest something else that could take the place of it, a favorite stuffed animal, a blanket,something to be a comfort to him. Be prepared to be patient and loving with him. It is going to be a tough time for all of you but it WILL get better, I promise!!
I have heard of people clipping pieces off of the pacifier, making it less and less comforting but to me that just seems like it would be prolonging the agony. Sort of like pulling a bandaid off bit by bit. It is always better to just get it over with...and let the healing begin!!!
Good luck
R. Ann
PS Congratulations on your new twins!! What a blessing!! Maybe they can learn to do without a pacifier and you won't have to go through this with them!!! I am so grateful that all three of my girls refused to use a pacifier, saved me a few headaches when it would have been time to get them to quit using them!!!

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M.B.

answers from Kansas City on

The paci fary DID NOT work for us!!! My daughter would chew holes in the top and they say it was "broken." Of course, we would buy another one. When the dentist told us it was time, we poked a few small holes in the top, she would suck air and wouldn't like it. We would just shrug our shoulders and say it's broken, sorry. It only took about 2 days before she didn't want the "broken" paci and put it down. We would only offer her the broken one. Make sure all the others are gone and you just have the one "broken" one. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Wichita on

Hello B.,

My suggestion that we did with our son was this; at bedtime once a week, snip off a little bit at the end of the pacifier with a pair of scissors. What this does is it becomes less soothing to him. He will learn that he doesn't need it anymore. My son started throwing it out of his crib about 2-3 weeks of doing this. He was 18 mos. old and did FINE with it!!

I think it would be better if you could get him to give it up completely, not only at daycare, but also at home. That way you won't have any problems again. Plus, two years old is old enough and you really don't want to mess with teeth problems later on.

I know each child is different and some are diehards when it comes to habits!! Good luck!! ls

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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

I say let him have it at home a little longer, it can't really hurt. I worked at La Petite in the ones room for a long time ( they were allowed to have pacifiers in the 1 room but not when they transitioned to the 2 yr old room) I never had a child transition from my room to the 2 room that ever had a problem. They stay busy and really it is crazy but even at a really young age kids want to "fit" in, so most likely he may cry for a few minutes when you drop him off but I am guessing he will be fine. Try not to stress about it, all my experiences with working at the daycare and having kids in daycare are good ones, most people do not go into that line of work unless they adore children...I am sure your little guy will be perfectly fine.
Lots of luck
B.

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

just don't have it packed and available. He will soon figure out that there aren't any there and realize he won't need it. Most of the time it is a power struggle with only the parents and the kid actually does well without it with someone else. My niece had one for quite a while and everytime I walked in the door to babysit I would remove it and she didn't get it the whole time she was with me but the parents would cave in at night and give it to her. She never fussed for it when she was with me but learned that if she whined enough at home she would get it back at night. I know this works at daycare too as I have worked in a few of them and the pacifier was removed when they arrived especially babies over a year old. For one thing in daycares they are germ spreaders as other babies will yank them from another babies mouth and put in theirs so it's better not to have them when they are crawling or walking around. Serously babies only need a pacifier when they are newborns but after 4 or 5 months when they grow out of that desire to suck on something all the time that is when it's a good time to wean the baby from it. After 9 months it becomes an addiction and is much harder to break. They then associate it to going to sleep or whatever routine it sets into.

All 3 of mine were broke from it by 9 months. The boys actually weaned themselves at 3 months and 4 1/2 months. My daughter had colic for 5 months so we actually took hers at 9 months and she only fussed for it one night then she was done with it. They weaned from the bottle easily too. again one fussy night and was done with it although our 3rd baby weaned himself from the bottle before 12 months. He kept throwing the bottle across the floor like a football so I told him the next one he threw that was the last and he threw it and he didn't get another one. He didn't fuss for it and was content with using the sippy cup. He also weaned himself from b/f at 5 months.

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L.S.

answers from Grand Forks on

when my daughter turned 2 I cut the ends off the passys and said theyre broken. She didnt want then at all after that and never even threw a fit! she actually threw them away herself

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N.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Cold turkey. Have a funeral for the pacifier let him put it in the trash and don't buy another one or give him another one. He is going to cry for a while but he will get use to not having it.

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M.F.

answers from St. Louis on

He might just get that at school he won't be able to use the pacifier. My daughter kept her pacifier until she was almost 4 years old. She actually threw the last THREE in the trash all by herself. She made the decision on her own and it was such a smooth transition too. She was ready, and that made it good.

She only had pacifiers while in her bed. She could go to her room anytime she wanted (but usually chose to be with friends/family/playing over paci time) to have paci time.

She only took them for nap and bed time. Her dentist said her arches lined up just fine and that her teeth looked wonderful.

It's such a wonderful security item. If your child is happy and doing well, there is no harm in pacifiers.

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I feel really sorry for your poor little guy. Having a mom on bedrest is very traumatic, and then to have new babies, start a new school, and have his pacifier taken away?! I strongly encourage you to rethink some of the major changes you are making in his life. Obviously you have these babies and have to take care of them, but you don't have to send him away from you to preschool or take away something that comforts him for naps and bedtime. He needs some stability right now.

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C.W.

answers from St. Louis on

My son is now 3. We switched to a daycare that did not allow pacifiers when he was 2.

We told him binkies were not allowed at daycare. It was a rule. We were very matter-of-fact and tried not to get into discussions with him.

He did great. He's still crazy addicted to the binky at night, but it's just never been an option at daycare, and he was fine with that.

Good luck!

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M.J.

answers from Joplin on

all my kids were older than this and just gave it up. better than the thumb. but just dont send it and let this new babysitter deal with the reprocussions. give it to him at home. this is what I did. at this point night only will help.

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A.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Just tell your son he can't have the pacifier at school. I'm sure he'll be fine.

When we weaned our son (at 2.5years old), we waited for a time when there were no big changes going on and he was feeling good. One night I just told him I can't find his binky and after some fussing, he fell asleep. He slept a bit restlessly that night and took a while to fall asleep for his nap the following day. He asked for his binky a few times, but that was it. No whining, crying or screaming. It was easier than I would have thought.

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F.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Our method in my mind was awful, I made my husband do it, I couldn't, but it worked perfectly in one night. Now that I look back, it probably was best, since it was over and done and my son just does have any issues when he sees someone with a paci (like I know some kids do). For about 3-5 days we talked to him about giving his pacis to new babies who needed them, we didn't actually have him give them to the baby room at school, like some people suggest but we told him that's what was going to happen on Friday (so if he didn't sleep great it wouldn't effect school the next day). Then Friday night there was no paci, he cried and cried and I cried and cried. Then finally he fell asleep, I felt so bad, the next day he woke up never asked for it and we never had another problem, he may have cried for less than 5min the second night but that was it. Harsh, probably more so on us than him, but quick and he really never asked for it again, so there wasn't a drawn out problem. Good luck!!

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B.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I was having major problems with my son's binky use; well actually it was more along the lines of a binky addiction!! My friend absolutely raved about the cut method, and all of the psychology behind it. She found it on www.bye-bye-binky.com , which is great that it was also free. We went with it and OMGosh... worked so beautifully for my son with NO tantrums, not even one! Thank you God. Five days later he did not want anything to do with his binky. What a relief it was to all of us to finally be done with those darn binkies. Highly recommended! I am also interested in others experiences.... B.

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H.P.

answers from St. Louis on

I like the idea of the bink "disappearing"... However I broke my stepdaughter by talking to her how she doesn't need it any more and to throw it in the trash! I wasn't demanding by any means...It was a playful conversation. One day...she trew it in the trash! It was her choice (but with encouragement) She was broke of it before by her dad taking it away for the weekend, but sitter and mom gave it back to her. But once SHE threw it away... we said there's NO MORE! You threw it away. She did really well. If you just take it away he will do just fine. Might be upset and cry it out the first night or two. But he will do okay. The idea of only breaking him at school might be a stepping stone if he is is REALLY dependant on it... but I would go all the way otherwise. Give him a COOL stuff animal for being a big brother...can even be from his new siblings!!! That makes it really special. Good Luck.

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

he's a big boy - don't you think he'd "get it" if you told him you couldn't find it? have him help you look for it, but stay calm and let him know that as a big boy (the big brother) he can surely take a nap without it. i would try to introduce another lovey in exchange. maybe a "special" toy that only big boys get to cuddle with. (this being of course a cheap stuffed animal or blanket you give him) sounds like a no-win situation, with the new babies i'm sure he's feeling pretty insecure :( another tactic, maybe he could have it for bedtime? you could explain to him that "big boys" don't need pacis except when it's night night time, so no more at naps. definitely play up the big boy thing (although at 2 i'm sure he's not too impressed lol). just be glad he's not going through this at 3 - a much tougher age in my opinion. good luck and hang in there. congrats on the new babies - try to enjoy them! i know this is a rough time.

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