Kicking the Paci Habit

Updated on April 24, 2008
K.J. asks from San Ramon, CA
69 answers

My son is now 26 mos old and is very, very addicted to his pacifier. We recently had a baby (one month old now) and I'm afraid of making him go "cold turkey" especially with all the life changes right now with the new sibling. He mostly needs and wants it at naptime and bedtime.
I myself had a habit of thumb-sucking well into my childhood and remember the comfort it gave me as well as the many attempts my parents made at breaking my habit and that nothing worked until I was ready to give it up.
Any creative ideas that might work? My goal is definitely by age 3 :)

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

The paci fairy works great. He may need to be a little older 2 1/2 or near 3. My daughter was about one month less than three. We collected all her pacis in a bag to send to the new babies who need them. She was not a baby anymore. Then the paci fairy brought her a big girl present. It worked for my friends twin boys around the same age too.

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M.L.

answers from San Francisco on

when it was time for my daughter to give it up, I was dreading it because she too was very dependant on it. We had it down to naps and bed also. A friend of mine just had a baby a few months earlier, and we told my daughter that it was for babies, and that she was no longer a baby and the new baby needs it. She completely on her walked over to the diaper bag and dropped it in. Never looked back, I was blown away... it just may be easier than you are thinking.

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I saw a segment on Supernanny where she made a big production of sending all the kids pacis to the paci fairy who give them to babies who need them. They put it in the mailbox, and the next day there was glitter and feathers around the mailbox with an envelope filled with toys. The boy seemed to love it. Just a thought. Good luck!

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T.A.

answers from Sacramento on

I'm sorry but I did not read through alot of your responces as there were just so many!!

I just have a few things that might work...

When my brother was little my mother would snip little sections of his paci off every couple weeks until he he was just left with the handle. He would hold on to it at night, but eventually got sick of doing so and it had surpassed it's use.

My oldest also had a paci, and with him we had gone to the store one day, and I can't even remember what it was but he saw something he REALLY wanted. He was really little, was before he was 3. I said to him that if he would trade me his paci for this item, then it was a deal. Not really fully understanding what he was agreeing to he did agree! lol. I bought him whatever it was and he gave up the paci. That night was tough, but I reminded him of the trade and that now he was a big boy and didn't need it anymore. With him it was rather painless BUT he is also my easy child.

When my 6 year old had his paci, he wouldn't give it up for anything. HOWEVER he used to follow me around the house as I would get all my housework done and he'd help out with things here and there. So one day we were in the kids bathroom and he was helping me clean the bathroom and as we were cleaning the toilet I went to flush and as we always did we said "Bye Bye water" Well he had his paci in his mouth so when he went to say "Bye Bye water" out it popped and before I even knew what had happened it was gone! OMG was that a fiasco! He was crushed! I told him that it would be ok, and he would get used to it. I also told him that it would go down in to the sewer with the yuckies and eventually end up somewhere in the ocean. I also said that he had helped some baby fishy who needed a paci. He rather liked that explanation. I just had to remind him of this for the next few days.

I sure you had some pretty awesome suggestions, you definately hit on a big subject! Good Luck!!

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J.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi K.,

My advice is not to worry about it. My kids were around the same age as yours are now and I remember stressing terribly as my son clung desperately to his pacifier. He did not stop until he was close to four. You know what? He's just fine (now 10). He's very comfortable in his skin and with out any dental issues either. I did confine it after he was three to just nap time and bedtime.

One of the most difficult things about being a new mom is that everything comes at you so fast and all these issues seem so huge and critical. In the big picture, you will likely forget how big this matter seemed to you until someone asks your advice about it. Enjoy your kids while they are little and do not stress about the pacifier. If it gives him comfort through this difficult transition of having a new baby sister and less mom time, why would you even want to think about taking it away. You will all benefit from the comfort it provides him.

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G.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I love that we always know what to do. You answered your own question. Thumb sucking brought you comfort and you gave it up when you were done with it. I think your son deserves the same consideration. Don't feel pressure from what "other people think". What you think is the most important. Just be in alignment with it. Know it is okay and also the best for your son.
When my 3 year old was faced with her new baby brother, she started acting younger. She was already independent but wanted to always be held. So I held them both. She felt comforted and when she was sure everything was fine she let go of me and continued to grow into a magnificent little girl. Sometimes we need that extra babying and comfort.
Gale

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N.P.

answers from Modesto on

Hi K.!

Congratualations on your growing family! How wonderful!

My youngest (now 5)was ADDICTED to his pacifier. I mean, was I in trouble if we couldn't find one! I remember being in your shoes, thinking "how am I ever going to take this away?"

I'm not sure not many will agree with what I have to say, but I think it's a personal choice. I found that after being a stay-at-home-mom I wasn't interested in "perfect textbook boys" who were rid of bottles, pacifier's, potty training, etc... My sister's are like that and they work full-time, and I realized with my youngest that I didn't want to be that way. It just doesn't FEEL right to take something secure away when they are not ready to be without it. Then I got to thinking, what/who is it really going to hurt, anyway?

I started to take the pacifier away by saying "pacifier's are for sleeping and resting, so they will stay in your room from now on. If you need your pacifier, then you need to go to your room and lay down to be with it". I allowed him to go into his room for it anytime of the day. I found that it was usually the same times of the day.

Well, it was a GREAT start, but he was still "needing it" every night, and occassionally during the day. I didn't reach my goal, which was the same as yours (by age 3) because it involved too many tears each time I said let's try to go "nite-nite" without it. He simply wasn't ready, and my heart just wouldn't let him suffer when he was so attached to the security of it.

I eventually "hid" them in the kitchen, and he would have to ask for it everynight, and if he did I would give it to him. He eventually started "forgetting" about the pacifier. He "quit" on his own, and it was in a loving way. He's in Kindergarten now, and just like my mom said, "don't worry, he's not going to kindergarten with it", she was right, he let go of it when he was ready. I had nothing to worry about after all. I am very satisfied with the way that I handled it.

I read in Parent's Magazine that some mom's:
Wrap them in a nice box with their child to "send to a new baby who needs them.
Take them to a store and "trade" them for something
Some mom's have "lost" them and cannot find them anymore.

By the way, we are NOT experiencing any dental problems due to the use of a pacifier. So, if you don't see any problems now, then I wouldn't worry about it. Even though many experts and mom's will tell you otherwise.

Anyway, I hope this helps you in some way.

Good Luck!

:o) N.

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D.L.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi K.,

My daughter was too attached to her paci but only to lay down during naps and at bedtime. My husband and I decided to try snipping the end of it one day at nap time and see how she did. At first she sucked on it and knew something wasn't right. It was actually hard not to giggle at her reaction because she didn't quite get it, but then she just sucked on it anyways for the first two days. I gave it to her everyday that week and after about the 3rd or 4th day I noticed it was in the same place as where I put it when I layed her down(we didn't hand it to her, we placed it in her crib and if she wanted it, she had to get it herself). After one week, I snipped the end again (these snips are very small about a mm) and everyday when I went to get her out of her crib, the paci was still in the corner where I originally placed it. After two weeks of her not asking for it, I took it out and didn't offer it or mention the word. She did ask for it two different times about a month later and I thought, "OH NO!!!" because it was so unexpected, but I just kept changing the subject. She eventually let it go and hasn't brought it up since.

It might be a good idea to give your son a shirt of yours or your husbands that you've worn to cuddle with in place of the paci. Something to make him feel secure. We did this around the same time as getting rid of the paci and it worked well. Now I just wash it with her bedding and it has officially become her shirt, so pick one you are done with, just in case you don't get it back ;-)Every once in awhile we have to take "mama's shirt" with us somewhere but for the most part it stays in her crib and she treats it like a lovey/blanket. Sometimes when my husband travels, she wants a "daddy's shirt" to sleep with and I am sure it is because she is missing him.

Good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I wouldn't worry about it. All of my children (4) had a pacifier. I let them keep it till their 3 yr. molars were in. But to keep control of when they had it, they only got it for nap and bed times. With you having a one month old, I wouldn't work on it too much right now, you are right, there is too much change going on and it needs to stay as smooth as possible.
I have one that is turning three this week (he is number 4) and he still had his pacifier for bed time and nap time. He is also chewing his fingers because of getting those three year molars. He also knows that if one gets a hole then it goes in the garbage and by by. None of my other kids have one...4 1/2, 7 and 9. My husband sucked his thumb for ages so we were quite happy w/ that pacifier.

Good luck
M.

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F.G.

answers from Salinas on

Hi there. My son was three when he threw his away. Let me back up to what got us to that point. I wanted him to be done with the paci by the time he was three. He only used it for bedtime but I knew that at three we could have a talk about it and he would understand. So about 1 week after he turned three, I started making small cuts in it with scissors. He, of course noticed and I told him it was getting broken and thats why we were going to need to throw it away. Plus I was 7 months pregnant at the time so we were also saying that paci's were for the baby now and he was a big brother and didn't need them. Anyway, day by day I would cut more of the tip away until by day 5 or so, he didn't even want it in his mouth and so I asked him if he wanted to throw it away or me. He decided he was going to do it and did. That night he did cry himself to sleep but the next night was just a little fussing for a few minutes and that was the last we heard about it. It's hard but it'll be done within a day or two.

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D.H.

answers from Yuba City on

Well, it looks like you've received lots of advice already, but the thing that has worked with both of my boys has also worked for several of my friends' children. When your son isn't using the pacifier, cut the tip off. When he next goes to use it, obviously it won't work. Tell him that it broke and have him throw it away. If he's got multiple ones, don't "break" them all at the same time, do them one at a time, every couple of days or so. By having them throw the pacifiers away, it seems to help them give them up. I hope this advice works for you. Good luck.

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C.M.

answers from Salinas on

Little by little, cut off small parts of the tip of the pacifier. Within a couple weeks, he will not find the pacifier soothing. More of an annoyance. He will willingly toss it aside.It worked with my three kids. Plus, pacifier till three, probably not the best thing for their teeth. Good Luck.

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L.L.

answers from San Francisco on

So far six of my seven kids have used pacifiers. In fact my 2 year old is sucking away on one right now and my 2 month old is sleeping with one. If your baby is not using one then right now would be the perfect time to have the paci fairy come. Stick one under his pillow and when he wakes up the paci will be gone and a special treat will be there for him (like a little train or action figure). I myself for our family do not stress about the paci - they will not go off to kindergarten with them and with a new baby in the house maybe right now might be too stressful on him. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hello, my daughter was also very, very attached to her pacifier as well when she was young. She had hers through out the day and even knew how to move it to the side of mouth while talking (lol). She took the paci until about 2 1/2 or 3 yrs old. I would NEVER be caught without extra paci in my purse. I remember once I was with some friends and my purse fall and about 3 paci's fall out of my purse. So, how I went about breaking her - is I started telling her all the time that she needed to throw her paci away in order to become a big girl, and I would instruct her to go to the garbage and throw it away. She would go to the garbage but never threw it away. I did this tactic on a constant basis over a period of probably six months. Until one day - she finally threw it away. Every now and then she would asked for it (for about two weeks) - and I would tell her that - SHE THREW IT AWAY - it's gone bye-bye. She would then think about what I said, and move on to something else - I guess realizing that SHE did throw it away. Of course I did keep ONE around just in case, but luckily I never had to pull it out of my hiding place. After a month had passed - I finally threw away her last Paci (from the hiding place)..!!! - She was finally a BIG GIRL ......

Good luck ....!!! and Stay CONSISTENT ....

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A.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K. -

My Son as hooked on the "Binky" as well... and let me tell you from experience, until he was truly READY it was HORRIFIC! we had tried the "binky fairy" (thank you Nanny 911), and then bribery... NOTHING and I mean NOTHING worked until he was ready. Started slow with him only having it at Naps and Bed. Then it went to Bed time ONLY.... when he was ready, it was GONE and he never looked back. I would say he was probably 3-1/2 - 4 years old when he was COMPLETELY finished (closer to 3-1/2) Looking back, if it is not gone by like 1, then even my Pediatrician told us when he's ready, he will be ready...

GOOD LUCK with this one! It can be a tough one as well!

A.

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C.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Our youngest was addicted to her pacifier also and we had them everywhere. We started making her go find them when she wanted one. At the same time if we saw one lying around we threw it away. Eventually they were all gone and she couldn't fine one anymore. There were a few tears then we were done without a lot of trauma since she was in control.
Her oldest sister was addicted to a water bottle at night and they shared during the day after the pacifiers were gone. As the nipples wore out we didn't replace them and eventually the last one tore. No more bottle, no more paci, not much trauma. Best of luck.

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K.,
My daughter was also tied to her binky. When she turned 2yrs. her doc told us to let her know that her binky need to 'live' in her bed. She could have it whenever she wanted, but it couldn't leave the bed. For the first day or two she was upstairs several times a day to get it (sitting on her bed until she was ready to put it down again), but she quickly figured out that her bed was a pretty boring place to be. I told her that I would never take her binky away (knowing that no one ever went away to college with a binky!) and that she could leave it when she was ready. We also never 'upgraded' from the infant sized binky so as she grew it was pretty small and not a detriment to her teeth. She finally gave it up completly at about 4yrs.
She is now 13yrs and no need for braces.

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S.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I have heard of cutting the pacifier little by little; till there is nothing to suck. I never tried it. I weened my daughter by changing the pacifier with another brand. She didn't like it. Either it was the shape of it or the difference between clear or opaque. It eventually worked where she just stopped asking for it. She was about 2 yrs. old.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter used her 'ba-ba' for sleeping until she was 5. Yes, 5. Her preschool teachers were of the philosophy that if she needed it, why would we take it away? Some people have more oral needs than others and if you take away the pacifier they will find other ways to satisfy that need; chewing on their clothes, sucking their thumbs, maybe even biting people. My husband kept wanting to break her of the habit, but I just let it go. We would occasionally ask her when she was going to stop using it and she decided when she was 5 she would. On her fifth birthday, she announced by herself, "I'm 5 now. No more ba-ba." The first night was rough but when she woke up the next day, she was extremely proud of herself. And I'm glad that we let it be her accomplishment and not something we forced on her. She never asked for it again.

I'm not saying you need to wait as long as we did, only to consider why you want to break him of the habit. Is it embarrassment on your part? We had a rule after age 3 of not using the pacifier outside the house and then only for sleeping. No one had to know. Another option is sugarless gum. Obviously that's not a solution for at night, but during the day it could help comfort him and satisfy his oral needs in a positive way. It's also good for brain development.

And just so you know, my daughter is 8 now, does well in school and is very confident and she does not have an overbite.

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J.S.

answers from Sacramento on

With a new baby in the house let the little guy still have his paci. Probably he thinks he needs it with the new baby.it's security to him. He will throw it away one of these days. It's better than sucking his thumb, which probably would replace the paci, if you tried to take it. I am a 76 year old mother, grannie, and g,g,. I have been thru the paci's and i found when they are ready, that's it. Jan

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C.D.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't hav persona experience with this but I have heard about puting a small pin prick in the pacifier and over time increasing the size of the hole so it loses its sucking capacity and the kid does not like it anymore. Also supernanny showed putting all of the pacifiers in a large envelope addressed to the "paci fairy" who gives paci's to babies and put it in the mail box, the next day the "paci fairy" leaves a speical toy or stuffed animal as a gift for returning the paci's I would emphasize what a big boy your son is how he is the older brother
maybe that will work, good luck

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S.S.

answers from San Francisco on

No ideas for kicking the habit but my sons are exactly 26 months apart and I can tell you that the older one regressed to diapers and bottles for a few months after the baby was born. I think it's OK. Having a new sibling, no matter how much he is wanted is still very stressful. Don't "sweat it!" He'll give up the pacifier in due time. Good luck and congratulations on both of your children.

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S.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I am so happy to hear you aren't going to take it away now. The addition of a baby to the family is wonderful but also very traumatic for him and he needs that extra reassurance right now. It took my daughter about 6 months to really adjust to her new brother. We had the same thing happen with our daughter at the same age. She kept her pacifier for naps and nighttime until she was almost 3. Then we had her leave it out for the "binky fairy". The first night she went to bed for about an hour and then ran in and got her pacifier and we let her. The next night she put it out and went all night without it and the binky fairy came and took the pacifier and left her a gift. I think it was a much smoother transition for her to make because we let her do it on her terms. Good luck!

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A.N.

answers from Fresno on

We did cold turkey! we had just had our 2nd baby and she was sick, but we had already began the process. it's more painful for our ears. we subed a blankie or a stuffd animal. just keep praying to God to not let you give in because it's somewhat a convenience to us too.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree that this is probably not the best time to take his pacifier away. There are a lot of changes in his life now, and it probably helps him.

My daughter used hers until she was three. A week after her third birthday, they all disappeared. It was very convenient that our neightbor across the street had just come home with a new baby, so we told her we gave them all to Baby Isabelle. She wasn't happy about it, but she only cried for two nights. After that she completely forgot about them, except for an occasional mention of When will Baby Isabelle give them back to me?

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R.S.

answers from San Francisco on

i have twins the same age. we are trying to limit paci use outside the house, but we just moved to a new town so... we are going to start over again in a couple of months. at 3, the paci fairy is coming!!!

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K.B.

answers from Sacramento on

If your goal is by age 3 then I wouldn't even worry about it right now, especially with a new baby. A lot can change in a year. In fact, babies have sucking needs that go well into toddlerhood and taking that away too soon can cause addictions later on in life. Let him "tell" you when he's ready.

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

K.- I'm about to go through this with my oldest son. He will be turning 3 in a couple weeks and I keep telling him that when he turns 3 no more "Binks" (what we call our paci)and you get your scooter because you are going to be a big boy who is old enough for a scooter. He has been asking for a scooter for his birthday so I figure why not, we'll trade one for the other. I'm praying that this will work. My husband and I also ask him each day what happens when he turns 3 and he goes Trevor scooter no binks. Its tooo cute. I have also made a paper chain where we take a link off each night before he goes to bed so that he knows when his birthday is and there will be no more binks. This way there is going to be no real surprises. I hope that this works.

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D.H.

answers from San Francisco on

We cut my son's pacifier down to only at bedtime for awhile. Then we went cold turkey. We explained to him that they we for babies and he didn't need it anymore at 18 month. It was tough for about a week a bedtime. We had to have some extra cuddling and soothing; but after about 8 days it was done and he didn't ask for it anymore.
Those first few days we tough, but it has to be done and rather sooner than later.
Good Luck!

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H.F.

answers from San Francisco on

If he only is using it at nap and bedtime then speech inssues aren't a problem so ask his dentist if they are concerned about it affecting his teeth, if they aren't then no big deal. What harm is a little longer with something that is really soothing. If he was soothed by a teddy bear you wouldn't think of taking it away. So in my opinion unless it is doing harm let him be in control of when he gives it up. I nursed my babies into toddlerhood and let them decide when to give it up. We talked a lot about how one day they would be too big to "nursey" and when they seemed about ready we went to the toy store and picked out a present which we had wrappped up and then we waited until they told me they we ready for their Weaned party. Then in a few days we made a cake and made a big deal about the child going through this "Right of Passage." The child was the star of the day and got the present. It's worked like a charm so far but the interval from beginning to talk about until weaned is about 9 months.

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H.J.

answers from San Francisco on

My best friend had a bye-bye binkie (paci) party. They used helium ballons and tied the binkies on them and they went up into the sky to other "babies" that needed them. She invited the grandparents and close friends. She even had a cake and decorations. It thought she was crazy at first, but it worked. Her daughter 3 at the time was addicted to her binkies and I thought she would never go for it. She loved it and was totally fine with giving up her binkies to the other "babies" who needed them.

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J.K.

answers from San Francisco on

With our son we slowly weaned him off of it until he just used them at night. Then we told him that we needed to get rid of them because they were bad for his teeth. We told him we could throw them away or he could use them to buy toys. He chose the toys. So we put them in a baggie and took them to Learning Express. While he was choosing his toys I told the person at the register what we were doing. She was great. He brought up what he wanted to buy and she asked him how much he had to spend and he held up his bag of pacifiers. So she rang up everything and then said. Wow that comes to exactly "X" pacifiers (however many were in the baggie). He handed them over and she gave him the bag with his purchases. This worked well. He never asked for the pacifiers again. I think one of the reasons that this worked so well was that when we got home he knew that the pacifiers weren't at home. They were at the store. It was also easier on us (the parents) because they were no longer in the house so if he had wanted them again we couldn't give in. Hope that's helpful.

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R.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi, My opinion is that you not try and "break him" of his need for his bedtime pacifier. Let him determine when he is ready to let go of it. (I think the hardest part for you will be other adult criticism.) My granddaughter used her pacifier, even at nap time in daycare. Then when she was three, she began to put it in her mouth as a game to pretend she was a little baby, (a new one was on it's way in her family). After a few months of that, she just forgot about it. She is seven now and just found it in an old box of toys. She smiled as she remembered it, washed it, put it in her mouth and sucked on it. We let her remember and discover on her own, without any adult emotional input, her old pacifier. Her play with it lasted about 10 minutes....then off to more interesting play of the day! How many kindergarteners do you see with a pacifier? They are too busy having fun interacting with each other! (note* She has beautiful teeth and excels at school), Wishing you the best!

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J.L.

answers from San Francisco on

My 3 1/2 didn't do a pacifier. However, I have a friend's son that did. She did it gradually. Limiting it to only in the house, instead of everywhere. Then only in his room, then only at bedtime. She convinced him that by his third birthday to give it up and said he needed to "donate" his pacifiers to babies that needed them. On his 3rd birthday checkup he would give his pacifiers to his pediatrician who "collects" them for kids in need. (wink-wink). It worked. Only drawback is since then he doesn't take naps very often and he's almost 4 now.
FYI: Find a story book about giving up pacifier's. That's also what his mommmy did.

J.
Las Madres Willow Glen 2004

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B.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K.,

My children didn't use pacifiers My friend's children were addicted, however, and I thought she had a clever approach. She invented a kind of 'paci fairy'. She told her son when he reached 3 that the paci fairy would come and take his pacifiers in the middle of the night. He was getting bigger and the paci fairy knew he didn't need them anymore. It worked! The night before his 3rd birthday, he spent most of the day sucking the daylights out of his pacifier (getting his last 'fix' :-)). But when he woke up on his birthday, he never asked for a pacifier again (just make sure you find and throw out ALL of them). She may have just been lucky and I admittedly don't have personal experience with 'paci-withdrawal', but I thought it was worth passing on. Good luck!

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P.P.

answers from San Francisco on

In my own experience we "lost" all of the binkies. We searched everywhere and they were all gone. My son did fine. I know that's difficult with an infant but those are different sizes, your son probably won't feel comfortable with that small size in his mouth. Good luck!

C.C.

answers from Bakersfield on

Without a doubt - the pacifier fairy! This fairy is like the tooth fairy, but brings "big kid" toys in exchange for ALL the "baby pacies." I remember my parents doing that for my sister & it worked. She was too distracted with her big girl toys to really miss her paci. Good luck!

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N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K.. I was in the exact same boat a few months ago. Our new baby came when our oldest was 20 months old. That's great that you are limiting the pacifier use to naptime and bedtime. We eventually limited it to only bedtime, which took a few months for him to get used to (he went without it at his daycare since he was 21 months - but they always seem to test us as parents more than others, don't they?).
My sis-in-law prepared my niece (who was 26 months at the time) by talking all week about how they were going to throw the pacifiers in the trash so she could be a big girl. My SIL actually had my niece be the one to throw them away. When my son went to visit, they kept looking in the trash to make sure the pacifiers were really thrown away. The next day, he asked to throw his away, too (he was 34 months old at the time)! He only asked for them a couple of times, but I reminded him that he threw them away and had said, "bye bye pacifier, I don't need you anymore!" and reminded him that he was such a big boy. He was really OK with it! Of course, he wanted to throw his little brother's pacifiers away, too. So I had to remind him that his brother is still a baby, and pacifiers are only for babies. I was actually surprised that it was harder on me than it was for him!
I'm sure you are getting lots of wonderful advice and ideas. Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Sacramento on

I would slowly just start offering it at naps and bedtime. With my boys we used a "paci box" that stayed in their rooms and they used pacifiers for nap and bed time until they were a month or two past three years old. We started by telling them that the "binky" was for sleeping. Don't get me wrong there were many times that we used them for consoling but I was very careful to make sure it was in their bedroom so they didn't think they could start using it everywhere again! Good Luck!
L. M
My boys are 7 years apart and this worked for both of them-it was slow and we took our time! They are 10.5 and 3.5 now.

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P.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Cold turkey is the only way to go. The last thing you want is a 5 year old with a Paci, believe me they are out there. I went cold turkey with my son at 12 months. He cried a few times and then forgot about it on the 2nd night. With your next child do it earlier. My peditrician said 12 months is the best age to get kids off the bottle and the paci as their memory is still processing. I had no issues with either. good luck

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K.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi K.,
I too have a 2.5 year old who still uses her "bippy". It is such a comfort for her I don't think she is ready to give it up. My first daughter who is now 7 loved hers as well and when Christmas came around, she was about 2yrs9mo we asked her to leave her "bippys" for Santa to give to the other babies ("and he will leave you a big suprise!"). She would not have let us take them away but giving them away herself worked, there was never another word said about it. If you think your little guy is ready, you could try this with the easter bunny. But if he's not, don't worry, they outgrow them when they're ready.

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L.G.

answers from San Francisco on

At around that age we had the "binky fairy" come to our house. We told ds that he was getting too old to have the binkies and there were little tiny babies that needed them. We had him help collect every binky (it has to be every single one--no secret stash left) and wash them. Then we decorated a bag and put them in it and left them on the front porch. That night we threw them away and put a special toy where the bag had been. We had a little bit of a tough time at the first nap without them, but it went amazingly well.

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M.T.

answers from Fresno on

I took my daughters paci away at 1 1/2 along and the bottle at 1yr old. I gave her a sippy cup instead. The Nubby brand that has the soft sipping plastic top. That really help me with getting rid of them all at once! She asked for her Paci for about a week and I just told her that the dog chewed it up. She never asked for it again.

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C.P.

answers from Sacramento on

If the goal is 3 yrs, don't sweat it right now especially with a new baby. My 33 mo old son just decided 3 nights ago, he didn't want his binky anymore. I was amzaed that he did it completely on his own. At a little over 2 yrs when he has a baby brother also, we did go to only having the bink at naps and night time. I could not stand him walking around the house and yard with the thing in his mouth. It was a little hard initially but well worth it. If it helped him sleep, I figured why not let him have it during those times? Now that he is a little older, I think he has decided he can do without it for sleeping too. Trying weaning him from it during the day for now and see what develops in the next months to come.

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A.T.

answers from Modesto on

Sorry in advance - this story might be a little long, but our method worked very well for us. When our son was about 27 months I think, HE gave his binkie to the garbage man. He was very into garbage trucks and when he'd hear it coming each week we'd have to run outside and watch. His teeth were starting to become affected by the binkie so we knew it was time to let it go but I don't believe in just taking it away or destroying it and the child has no say in how or when. I planted the seed of maybe giving his bink to the garbage man and he got excited about it. We lived in an apartment at the time and so there were dumpsters that the garbage truck would hook up to and take way up high to dump into the truck and my son thought that was just the most amazing thing to watch. After talking and planning for the big event for about week and asking him what he was going to do on garbage day, he was ready! He proudly carried his binkie ouside and we waited for the garbage man. (I gathered up the million other binks from around the house and in the cars, etc. and hid them away out of sight.) When the garbage truck came he threw his binkie in the dumpster himself and then we watched the truck dump it in. The garbage man even got out of his truck to talk to my son and told him what a good thing he did and what a big boy he was now. He was so proud of himself! That night at bedtime he asked for his binkie without thinking and when I smiled at him and asked him where his binkie was, he gave me a knowing smile back and told me it was in the garbage truck. That was the end of it...no crying, no thumb sucking, no more asking for it. We praised him often for giving it to the garbage man and to this day he's proud of what he did (he's 5 1/2) although I'm not sure if he actually remembers the event or if he's just heard the story so many times. He does like to sleep with his blankie still and that is fine. What is your son really into? Most little boys this age are totally excited about something like fire trucks, trains, etc. You could take a trip to the fire station and give it to the fire fighters to take on a call to give to some other little boy who needs it, or go to the train station and give it to an engineer to take with him on the train. Get creative! And don't be shy about asking others to get involved to help you carry out the adventure...usually people enjoy taking a moment out of their day to get involved in the life of a child. In your situation with the new baby, I might wait a few months if you think that is best. Each child is different and the timing and method you use depends on your situation, but bottom line is let your son take ownership of getting rid of it so he will be proud that HE has done it rather than feeling like it was something done to him. Our new little brother is almost 11 months and hasn't wanted anything to do with a binkie from day one. Although I guess that's a blessing I'm almost a little disappointed that we won't have the binkie adventure with him. Good luck and have fun making memories out of the process!

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T.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a two and a half year old daughter who was VERY attached to her binky. In fact, the only reason we decided it was time to take it away was because she woke up at least three times a night crying because she couldn't find it. I am expecting a baby in May and really wanted her off of it before he comes.

I ended up telling her for about a month that the binky fairy was going to come. I explained that we would leave her binkies for the binky fairy and she would leave her a present. I was really nervous about doing it cold turkey, but when we've tried weening in the past, it never worked for her.

So the day came and she was a little reluctant, but was also pretty excited about getting a present. So we put her binkies in the mailbox on our way to the park. And when we got home there was a present waiting for her on the porch. She was so excited about the present, that she did okay without her binky. And every time she asked for it, I reminded her that the binky fairy had it.

She did great the first three days and then started throwing really HUGE temper tantrums because she had lost her way of calming herself down. That took about a week of a whole lot of patience and trying different approaches, but now she's pretty much back to normal and doesn't ask for it anymore, except on rare occasions. But then she's totally fine when I explain that the binky fairy has it.

The only thing that has changed and stayed changed is her nap schedule. She naps later in the day and has a harder time falling asleep, it can take her up to an hour now and she used to go right down. But we haven't had any problems at bed time.

Sorry this was so long-winded! Good luck.

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L.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K.,
My boys are 14 and 16 now but I helped them kick the habit by putting it in their control.
First, we discussed that they were big boys now and needed to say goodbye to their paci's. We tossed all of their pacis's in a garbage bag and made a huge celebration of saying goodbye and thanking the paci for being their ever present companion, so to speak. Try that!
Good Luck!
L.

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H.G.

answers from San Francisco on

My dentist kicked the habit for our two girls. In one of their check ups (they were 3 and 2) he told me their teeth looked fine and the paci was not an issue at this time. I asked him to tell the girls about what happens when you have the paci too long and that they needed to stop. Hearing it from the Doctor really made them listen. It was close to Christnas, so we said that on Christmas Eve, we had to leave all of the pacis for Santa and he would bring the best present ever. They got two kittens for their pacis.

Just saw a Supernanny episode where the little boy "mailed" all of his pacis to the paci fairy (she brings them to the new babies). The next day, he got a package in the mail from the fairy--there were streamers and confetti all around, really special. He got some trians or something like that in the package.

I am not saying that they still will not ask for it, but at least you can say--the doctor told us, santa brought us something instead or the paci fairy has given them away to the new babies like your sister.

Good luck

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P.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello,
My son also took a paci, unil he was almost two. He needed a bottle before he went to sleep and the paci right after he was done. I just slowly started not giving him the paci after he had had his bottle. If he threw a fit and wanted it, I'd give it to him, but over time the more I did it, he got used to the idea of not having it. He does not take it anymore. I'd just try slowley not giving it to him here and there and see how that works. Good Luck :)

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J.G.

answers from Sacramento on

It is cold turkey... but you could "break" it. Cut it a little so that it is broken. My daughter had chewed hers so much that it got a hole and I did not feel it was safe to give to her anymore. I had been telling her that when it breaks she wont have it anymore. You could tell your son that for a couple of weeks before hand. We have it in her room and she asks to look at it sometimes before naps. We kiss it goodnight then put it away. She still cried at naps for a week after (just cried, didn't ask for her pacifier) but that was a pretty smooth transition.

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M.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi there!

My son just recently stopped using his Pa (paw) as he called it, two months ago. He was then 27 months old. He was also attached to it, and i'll admit it, so was I. It was my way of quieting him down when I needed him to. He always used it at night, and during the day though not all the time. My husband was more about him giving it up, and I knew he would when he was ready. The funny thing is, months before that, he started to chew on it, and it lost that "sucking" feeling, but he continued to use it. So that "cut the tip off" bit would have never worked. For him, it was more of a mental understanding. Here's how it happened. One day while I was at work, my husband had just picked my son up calls me, and I talked to my son and he tells me, "mommy, pa at school on table"- He forgot it at school.(This would have never happened with me :-) This was a Friday, and although I went and bought him a new one without him knowing, when he'd ask I reminded him that he left it at school. He asked about it a couple times, got mad a couple times, and understood that "HE" left it at school. He even went to sleep fine, although it did take a little bit longer to settle. Times before, when mommy forgot it at the house, he threw fits and knew I was to blame, and would beg me (it broke my heart! Honestly, I think each kid is different and will give it up when they understand that they don't need it anymore. I wouldn't stress over it, I mean i've never seen a teenager with one, so you know he's bound to give it up when the time is right! Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi!
We finally ditched the binky at right about the same time, 26 mo. We tried everything to wean him off, including promises of rewards from the "binky fairy" (which worked wonders with my daughter), but nothing. Between christmas and new year's, my in-laws were here for a week and there were a few car rides that during which, we "lost" the binky and Grandma was in the back of the car and entertained him instead and he forgot about it... and then we weren't in the car for a few days except around town and he only asked at sleep times, Grandma and Grandpa kept him busy and he didn't miss it and by the time they left, he didn't even miss it! He only asked a few times after that and we'd just remind him that we lost it! Anytime you have a distraction to keep him busy will help. We did my daughter at about the same age, just after my son was born, but for her, telling her that the binky fairy needed them for newborn babies was all it took, she actually collected them all for us! Good luck and trust your instincts!

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L.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi K.,
My oldest son LOVED his paci too. One day we covertly rounded up all his pacifiers and cut the tips off. When he put them in his mouth, they didn't suck right and eventually he just stopped sucking the "broken" pacis. He never went back- although he's away at college now and I'd never know...
Good Luck, Peggy

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S.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K.-

I had twin boys who were completely addicted to their pacifiers, but then had to give them up when they stated preschool (they had a no-pacifier rule).

So we told the boys that we were going to take them to Build-A-Bear Workshop, but in order to get something, they would need to pay for it with their pacifiers. We talked to the salesgal when we got there, told her about our plan, and she was more that happy to help us. So the boys picked out what they wanted, and then when we got to the register, they paid with their pacifiers. People were looking at us like we were crazy, but it really did work! Yeah, the first few nights were a bit rough, and they definitely wanted to go back on their decision, but they each had their own cow (they chose cows, not bears... go figure!)to hug on when they slept, and we kept reminded them that now they were such big boys and mommy and daddy did not sleep with pacifiers, and that now they were grown-up like they are.

So even though it still took about a good week for the tears to stop, they understood the finality of it, and did get something good out of it.

Good luck!

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N.L.

answers from Yuba City on

What worked quite well on my grandson was that my daughter snipped off the tip of the pacifier and when he went to suck on it brought it to her and she let him know it was broken and needed to be thrown away. He was able to throw it away on his own. As he had multiple pacifiers she would do this to each one as they showed up when he wasn't around. He never did ask for a new one after each broken one was found.

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M.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Try trading the binkie for an Easter basket. Let your son know the Easter bunny is coming and will trade the binkie for an Easter Basket. Gather them all up and set them out for bunny pick up. It worked for me. Good Luck.

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S.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a 3 yr old and he LOVES his pacifier. Well one day he lost them and we couldnt find them, so I told him that the garbage man took them. He occassionally asks for them I tell him the the same answer.

One of my friends took all the pacifiers and tied them to a ballon and let it go.
Belive me I know its hard.

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N.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter was the same way - ALWAYS had the "binky" in her mouth. We were told the best thing was to go cold turkey. My daughter was almost 2.5yrs and would constantly ask for the binky. It wasn't easy - I actually think it is harder on the parent - but you need to make the decision and stick to it. It will be tough for a few days but I promise it will pass.

I think it would be great to try to tell your son that he is a big boy now and he needs to "help" mommy take care of his sister. It will make him feel needed and like he is helpful with his little sister. GOOD LUCK!

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K.,

I know exactly how you are feeling. My little girl was totally addicted to her paci. Many were after us to take it away from her at one, but her doctor said she didn't have a problem with her having so long as we didn't let it go past the age of 2-3. We made a promise to take it away after so turned 2. She turned 2 in May and May 31st was her last day of having it. What we started doing was only letting her have it for naps and bedtimes. We even tried snipping the tip of a couple, that didn't phase her. She sucked right on. Then June 1st, no more paci. We explained to her that because she was such a big girl the paci had to go bye bye. The first night went so much better than we expected. She didn't even ask for it. The second night she asked and asked. She even knew all of the places we had them (my purse, the fridge, her drawer, the van). So as she mentioned those places, we took her to them and showed her that they were gone. I forgot the one in the fridge and when she opened the door she saw it. I told her, no, it's not there and as I lifted her up to see that it was gone, I moved it with my other hand. By the look on her face, I know she thought she was seeing things. That was the only time I felt bad. Once in bed, I sang to her and let her have favorite doll and blanket sleep with her. It took about 2 weeks before she stopped asking for it. When a friend of ours had a baby, she immediately looked at the paci and called it hers. When I told her she didn't have any more paci she said "that's because I'm a big girl".

Just be patient. He will ask for it. If it turns out to be too traumatic, just give him until he is 3. You have a newborn, you don't need add another thing on your plate that could cause extra stress.

Stay strong and God bless.

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S.L.

answers from Yuba City on

Hi there! I have a six year old and she was obsessed with her "binki" too. I tried everything but couldn't break her until she was 4. I just took it from her one day and said that I was broke and couldn't find it! She said she wanted to use her piggy bank money to get a new one and I don't remember how I got out of that one...but we said we lost it and couldn't afford a new one and within three days, she was perfectly fine! We of course, rewarded her after the three days with a trip to chucky cheese and and praise for being such a good sport!! Good luck!!

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W.M.

answers from Sacramento on

K.,
Our oldest had a picifier. When we took it away from her
finally, because she did not ever use it a pre school,
she cried for one night. Then about a week later, we realized that she had started to suck her thumb instead.
Not sure when she quit the habbit, but she is 18 now. I have no idea when she gave up her thumb, I think it was around 3-4 grade, maybe sooner, but her teeth straightened
out right after that.
What is sad is the 5-6 year old that came thru my line at
the grocery store, and he still had a pacifier in his mouth, the youngest of all the children, and the parents did not want to deal with taking it away from him. He would not even speak without it being in his mouth, which
made his speech totally off. For your son, I would wait a little while longer, since the baby is so new. Good Luck.

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K.O.

answers from San Francisco on

I saw an episode of Super Nanny where nanny Jo had the parents try the "Binki Fairy." They explained to the little boy that the Binki Fairy needed, or collected (I can't exactly remember) Binkis. The boy tied his binki to a tree in the back yard with a big bright ribbon and in the morning the Binki Fairy left him a present. It was cute and it worked for them. Who knows?

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K.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I think you have the right idea about not going cold turkey w/all the changes in the house. You're also on the right track by only letting him have it at nap & bed times. Our older son was a 'giggy guy', as he called it. We took them away when he was 3 & had a better idea of what it meant for it to not be around. We picked his 3rd b-day as the date to get rid of & then kept talking about him to that & what would happen when that date arrived. We told him he needed to give them up for the new babies who needed them. When he had his 3 yr check-up we, took all the giggies w/us to his ped & gave them to her for all the new babies who needed giggies. So, I suggest you pick a date for your son to be done w/the pacis & then keep talking about what will happen when they're gone & who will get them. Usbourne Books makes great books about life changing events for kids, ie: going to school, the doctor/ dentist. So, maybe get him a book about kicking the paci habit. Hope this helps & good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Sacramento on

How good it is that you know exactly how your little guy feels about the paci! Please consider holding off on even starting to wean him from the pacifier for at least six months. The new baby is a huge competitor for your attention and the paci will help him self-soothe. He doesn't need another stressful thing in his little life. The best way to help him feel secure is to involve him in the baby's care and play as much as possible. Try to spend a few minutes alone with him too, either when baby is sleeping or someone else can watch the baby. They grow up so fast; this is one of those things we don't have to "hurry" our child to do. Good luck!

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S.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Oh I did the cutest thing with my son who was probably around the same age. We had seen a magic show - and that evening I pretended to implement some magic tricks - next thing I popped out the pacifier from his mouth played a little around with it - popped it back in and then 'whammo' the pacifier had disappeared! I actually had hid it behind my back somehow - he didn't know and never saw or realized what happened. Because he was so young it was all a big mystery - my older one who is 13 months older took forever to give it up - he was in kindergarten by the time he gave it away. I guess it's true to say you never see a college kid with a pacifier in their mouth - but it's more what it does to their teeth that worries me. Anyway I thought I'd share how I did it - to show you can have them do it cold turkey. The older one I don't remember how we did it - I think we asked him to try one night without and then one with and then one with out - but at five you can reason with them a little more.

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N.D.

answers from San Francisco on

One way is to trim a tiny bit off every day until he no longer wants it! Nikki

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D.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I saw this cool thing on Nanny 911 (or Super Nanny?) where Nanny kind of made a ceremoney of the toddler giving up his pacifier. The toddler boy put his pacifier in an envelope and then they put it in the mailbox to send the the pacifier fairy (or something like that). The next morning there was glitter all around and in the mailbox and a small gift for the toddler. Maybe something like that would work?

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T.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi K.,
Our soon to be 8 year daughter was a paci baby too! We decided at two she needed to give it up. She would go to bed with one in her mouth and one in each hand and during the middle of the night they would all fall off the side of her bed and guess who had to get up each night to find at least one?! We did cold turkey and it took about a week for her to realize that she wasn't getting them back. Even today she'll find one that I have hidden away and tease me that she is going to use it! With having a new wee one, and not wanting to add extra stress maybe try taking the paci out after your son has fallen asleep or maybe make a game out of hiding it and finding it when he wakes up. God Bless,
T.

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J.K.

answers from San Francisco on

oh I feel you on the paci thing. I just got my almost 4 year old to give hers up. I have a 23 month old and a 4 month old so there are pacifiers all over so it was tough. I let her decorate an envelope to "percilla paci fairy" and off to the mailbox it went and when she woke gifts from the fairy at the door. She was great the first two nights, she wouldnt nap and that was because she couldnt relax without the paci but soon she did great. I cant tell you it was easy that is why I wanted to write because it will be tough, well I suppose it could be easy for you and that would be great. My daughter has gone 2 weeks without it and is great. We asked her why she wanted the paci and she said it made her feel safe. So we told her to grab her puppy (favorite stuffed animal) close to her face and comfort herself and try and relax. eventually she slept, of course she was exhausted because she didnt nap. I am lucky that she napped this long I was told. Nevertheless she is great now. I am not sure your son would understand the need of the paci at his age but maybe you can tell him some other kid needs its you know the drill. I got this idea from the show SuperNanny. :-0 I wish you the best of luck. I am not looking forward to the next child going without but I know it will pass. My daughter sees a paci now and she says that kid needs to give it to anyone child that needs one and they will get a gift.

J.
livermore,ca

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