Help Getting Rid of Pacifier.

Updated on January 26, 2008
K.D. asks from Merritt Island, FL
18 answers

Last year I posted a request regarding this same subject. I hate to admit it but I decided to concentrate on potty training instead. My son is now 3 1/2 years old and he is still using his "Binky". If you had told me when I was pregnant that my son would still have had a binky at 3, I would have laughed and said ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! But, as you all know, a lot changes when you actually become a mother.

A lot of people tell me that he'll get rid of it on his own but I feel that he is way too old for it. At this point I am ready to just take it away for good. The problem is, I want to make sure this is not going to completely traumatize him because he is more likely at his age to remember it for a while.

Any suggestions, recommendations, personal experiences will be appreciated!! Thank you in advance.

K.

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So What Happened?

Sorry it's taken so long to update this. I'd like to thank everyone for their advice. It was great. I decided to use the binky fairy method. I talked to my son about it for about a month or month and a half. I told him that the binky fairy takes binkies in the middle of the night to give them to babies that don't have them and leaves a present to say thank you. Well... it worked. He actually gave 2 binkies to 2 of my friend's babies on his own and then I knew it was time for the binky fairy to come. The binky fairy left a Hot Wheels track and took the binky. The first day he cried a few times for only about 2 minutes each time. The first night was hard for me because he was crying but it was a sad cry. I felt so bad. But he calmed down and really didn't have a melt down at all. He's been binky free for about 4 or 5 months. Thanks to all of the wonderful advice!!!

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J.M.

answers from Hartford on

Hi,

My 4 year old niece lives with my mother-in-law lives and up until a few weeks ago, used a pacifier to go to sleep. My MIL looked for a solution and someone told her to cut off the end of the pacifier. My niece tried to suck on it and rejected it. She cried a couple times at nap/bedtimes, but is now pacifier free.

Another suggestion would be to get him attached to something else at bedtime instead of the pacifier, like a special sippy cup or blanket.

A little about me: I have two boys, 33 months and 2 months. Both rejected pacifiers when I tried to give myself a break (both breastfed exclusively).

Good luck.

Jen M

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M.B.

answers from Boston on

I used the "binky fairy" too. Actually 9 years ago when I used it, I just made it up. Funny, how mothers think alike.

Anyway, we had too many binky's that would get lost all the time. If we could not find one, we actually went to CVS and bought another one!

I told him one day that the binky fairy would be coming soon and if he left his bink on the floor or anywhere else, she would come and take the binky for new babies. I actually would cut the tip off all the ones he left. It actually got to a point where he was excited to come and show me that she came. I would leave the binky where I found it once I cut the tip off.

Anyway, I did this will all 3 of my kids and it worked great! I honestly don't remember them having meltdowns about it. We also would talk about how nice they were for giving the binks to the fairy because all the other babies needed binks. Everytime all of my kids so a new baby, the would say "she/he must have my bink!"

Good luck!

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E.G.

answers from Providence on

My 3.5 year old just gave up her pacifier ("paci") last month. Like you, I never imagined I'd have a three year old with a paci, but she really loved it.

We actually (honestly) lost her paci one night and I was too tired to look for it at bed time. It was really tough for her and I had to snuggle her to sleep. The next day she didn't mention it. That night she cried at bedtime and I again laid with her and rubbed her back until she was asleep. The third night she wrote a letter to the paci fairy (same concept as the tooth fairy) and got a present in the morning, which was a big hit.

There have certainly been tears over the last month but overall it was a pretty smooth transition.

When she has a need to suck (during the day when she is tired) we use peanut butter on a spoon, lollipops and juice/milk with a straw. Those comforts have really seemed to help her a lot!

Good luck! Don't stress about it. It will happen soon!!

P.H.

answers from Boston on

My son Loved his Paci, he woudl only use it to sleep around the same age as your son (Nick will be 5 in one month!) what we did was tell him that it was time to pass it along to another baby who needed it. We made a package, boxed it up and 'mailed' it (it is still in the closet!)

making it being needed by someone else helped, you can start talking about it before you do..letting him get use to the idea. Less trauma.

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M.F.

answers from Boston on

I can totally relate to your problem. My now 5 year old son went through the same thing. He still used his binky at 3 and I was so upset. Before I had children I could not understand how parents let their kids use binkys past 2. I learned my lesson not to ever judge a parent! What worked for us and may be helpful to you was going to the dentist. We tried everything to get him to give up his binky but when he went for his first dentist appointment, the dentist talked to him about his teeth and showed him how his bite was being affected by his binky - in very basic terms. We had discussed with him before the appointment how it would be great if he left his binky with the dentist for another little boy to use and when it came time to leave he had no problem handing it over to the dentist. It was amazing - he never mentioned his binky again! I think it took a person outside our circle of friends and family that he respected to convince him it was time to give it up. Our dentist told us it actually happens a lot. So I hope this helps. Don't worry too much. He won't go to college with it! Good Luck!

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E.N.

answers from Boston on

My son gave his up at 4 (!) and the way we did it was to introduce the "binky fairy". Basically, we said that the binky fairy, much like the tooth fairy, comes and takes the binks from older kids who don't really need them anymore. and gives them to the babies that need them, and leaves something special in return. We talked about it for about a month saying that we were sure the bunky fairy was going to come some time soon. One morning he woke up without the bink and found in its place a new Max & Ruby sleeping bad - he was so excited about it and we just spent the next few weeks talking about how great it was that the little babies now had his bink and were enjoying it and that he had this fabulous new sleeping bag. It totally worked.

Good luck!

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L.B.

answers from Boston on

Cut the tip off of it, it loses suction and he just wont care about it anymore, works like a charm.

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T.M.

answers from New London on

I had the same issue with my daughter. Had her binky until the month before she turned 3 (she is now 6). She also only had it in her crib at night with her..never walked around with it. I kept her in her crib (as i didn't need it for another child) until then and when I transitioned her into her new big girl room and big girl bed, the binky stayed in the "baby" room with the crib. I bought her a nightgown she wanted and made a big deal out of being a big girl now. No problems with the transition or ever wanting the binky again. The binky at that age was a habit, not something she needed. I too didn't want to upset her, so I didn't take it away sooner. My second child is a thumb sucker...yikes...can't throw that thing away! Good luck!

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L.K.

answers from Hartford on

My oldest daughter just turned four this month and just stopped using the binky at night. It was something I thought about everyday but something she had to be ready for. We found a book called Binkie land where a story is told about a child sending her binkies to binkie land and them becomeing anything the child wishes them to be. We talked about it for weeks when one day she said mommy I am ready to send my binkies to binkie land. The book comes with a mailing envelope so right away we put her binkies in the envelope and she put it in the mailbox, (she wished them to be a barbie) That night she cried for her binkies, it was such a sad cry as it was a huge loss for her but I explained that I do not have them that she mailed them off to be Barbies and it was about an hour of crying before she finally fell asleep. When she woke up she found that there was a Barbie on her bed, that made her so happy. The next night she was a little sad going to bed but was happy to have her new barbie to sleep with. Since then there has been no mention of them. I have two younger children and there are binkies around but she still is not interested. Yea, it is hard but I think after a lot of thought they will decide they are ready to move on. Be consistant and it will come. Good luck

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A.H.

answers from Springfield on

My son was a binky boy. His favorite was a big bird one. First we started out that they didn'y go out side the house when we went somewhere. I think he was 2 then. Maybe a little younger. Anyway I explained to him that as the broke from chewing on them they wouldn't be replaced. We had a bunch of them but as they broke they got thrown away. Then he babied that last one but once it broke that was it he was fine. $ years later we were moving and my daught found one stashed in her dresser drawer that was funny. We aren't sure who put it there but je is now 10 and things worked out fine.

C.S.

answers from Boston on

Hello,
My daughter never used one, although she is three and a very avid thumbsucker. :( I can tell you what worked for a friend of mine. She cut all the ends off of the pacifiers and whenever her kid went to get one it would be "broken" so they threw it out...and same with the next one....eventually she didn't want them anymore cause they were all "broken" Hasn't touched them since.
Good luck.

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K.K.

answers from Boston on

Hey K.
My pediatrician and I never agreed on that subject. He said "NO" to the pacifier, but it was a life saver for me with my first child. When he left the practice, I missed him, but realized that he wasn't right about everything! My daughter was 2 when I started to wean her off. I only let her have it in the car, at naptime, and at bedtime. When she became accustomed to that change I took it away in the car and gave her special books or toys to hold/play with in the car. The tough one was bed. Your son is old enough to "bargain with". Though my daughter was only 2, we bargained it away from her. We had visited a friend and there was a cabbage patch doll (this baby is now 22!) that she wouldn't let go of. She wanted one so badly! I told her I would trade...her binky for a doll. We went to the store, she picked one out and when we got home, she had to go get her binky from her bed and hand it to me in exchange for the doll. The first nap wasn't tough at all with the new doll in place, but betime was tough. She screamed like someone had died and her heart was broken. Thankfully, I was able to stick to my guns and it only lasted 3 nights. I remember because I wrote it all down. It's a tough thing to let go of that comfort, but you're right, he's too old. Cold turkey might be too harsh, try weaning him off and see how it goes.
Good luck
K.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

When our son started a new daycare,we figured it was time to ditch the binky. We brought our son to Build a Bear where he made a monkey and put his binky inside and he named it Binky. Whenever he would ask for it we would remind him it was in the monkey. At first he brought it everywhere, now it stays in his bed. The only draw back we had was that we had to start monitoring his sugar intake before bed, because I didn't realize how much the binky mellowed him out before bed! Worked for us...good luck!

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P.R.

answers from Boston on

My son was about the same age if not a bit younger. We got about 5-7 balloons went to an open parking lot attached the pacifiers and up and away they went. I didn't do all the pacifiers b/c it would of been to heavy. I just threw the rest away. I told him they were going to all the little babies that needed them. He undestood and he did very well with it. He didn't use them during the day only when he went to sleep.

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M.T.

answers from Springfield on

I had my son off of his pacifier completely by 14 months. I know you'll have a harder time since your child has been using it much longer but we started around a few months before taking it away to only give it to him at nap and bed time and that went good. Than we just took it away from naps and bed time and the first night was really rough but you know the next night was pretty easy. The first night is going to break your heart but if you stick with it, it will work. Good luck!!

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J.S.

answers from Portland on

This is an idea i got off super nanny. tell her there are new babies out there who need a pacifer, and if you out it outside in a pretty bag, and hang it off a tree, the "paci-fairy" will come get it and leave her a little gift. after bedtime, go out, throw the pacifer in the trash, and replace it with a little gift. everytime she wants it, remind her how the new babies are enjoying her pacifer, and shes a big girl to give it to them. hope this helps!!!
J.

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L.B.

answers from Boston on

My two younger children had pacifiers until they were 3. At that age, the "Pacifier Fairy" came. We made a HUGE deal about it, talke about it and I even made up a small story about it and read it to them. Then on the appointed night, the Pacifier Fairy came, took the pacifiers and left a gift.
My son cried each nap/bed time for his pacifier for 3 days, the evening of the 3rd day he finally managed to sleep without it. My daughter never looked back once hers was gone.
Good Luck!

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T.B.

answers from Boston on

my oldest daughter was very attached to her binky, we finally told her that while she was too old, her favorite bear (special toy still needed it, more than her in fact!) we cut the rubber off and tied the binky to bear with a pretty ribbon. She could still see it for comfort, and never fussed about it. She is now 16, and still has binky bear!

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