How Do You Deal with a Teacher Who Won't Listen?

W.;

Bravo to you for being concerned about your child's education! I wish I had more parents like you when I worked in public school. I'm now a librarian in a private school, but I hope I can give you some good suggestions.

First, public school teachers are under tremendous pressure. It's all about testing; in kindergarten this year the students had to take quite a few standardized tests at the school I worked at. The administration is all about stats, and they've forgotten that the students are just kids, unfortunately.

Does the teacher prefer email, perhaps? Sometimes that's easier for them. Also - I've always thought of homework as a way to determine student understanding, and evaluate my lesson. If a student comes in the next day with homework he could not complete, I know I didn't do my job correctly, and this lesson needs to be retaught.

Do you know any other Mom's in the school? Maybe they could give you some pointers about which teachers would work best for your son. We all have different personalities, and sometimes teachers and students, or even teachers and parents, do clash. Maybe a teacher next year with a different style would work better.

The private school I'm at now had two 1st grade teachers until last year. One is very strict, serious, and a great teacher. The other was more laidback, flexible, and mellow. Lazy, unmotivated students did well with the first teacher. Stressed, hypersensitive children did extremely well with the second teacher.

I'm very impressed, actually, by your caring. I don't know how single mom's do everything they do - my hat is off to you!

L.

glad to hear you got some answers i had to go thu a simular prob and it was a pian in the but

W.,
I am a 12-year veteran, certified teacher. I have three children, so I have the priviledge to see both sides (parent / teacher). Sometimes, a teacher is so use to a curriculum, that it is hard to understand why a parent is confused. I recommend that you meet with the teacher or the principal (which ever you feel is more profitable). Bring to the meeting some examples of what would help you. Make sure you convey the attitude of wanting to be a team player instead of stressing that she may be doing something wrong.
When I had to talk to my daughters pre-k teacher, I took examples of what would help me feel more involved. Ex: I didn't know how much my child was learning or how many "crafts" were being done. Was she just being babysat? I brought a calander example with areas being covered for each week. That way, she didn't feel presured to stick to a day to day schedule that I wanted, but it gave her ideas on how to keep me from complaining every week. (Win Win situation)
If the problem is with math wkshts. ask is there is a sample page that could be sent home as a guide. I've sent home phonics and handwriting guides so that the parents know what I am looking for.
Don't ever be pressured to be quiet when it comes to your child's education. Just remember: 1. teachers are human beings that make mistakes, just like parents. 2. No one likes someone telling them they are wrong. 3. A sweet attitude is easier to take then a sour attitude. 4. Everyone can benefit from other people's experiences. (This site is a great example).
Don't loose hope. This too shall pass.
M.

my oldest had this very same problem in the 3rd grade.his teacher was worst though, she would tell him he was going to fail. she belittled him daily. one day she gave a test and after my son finished and turned in the paper she realized that the test didn't copy correctly but refused to give his test back-marked his wrong. even though he answered it right- for how it was printed (grafts). my husband and i had conferences with the teacher several times- for hours each time. nothing helped. i went to the principle, who i knew since i was also very active in school, nothing. I must have requested for my son to change classes at least once a quarter. the priciple only would tell me each time that this teacher is a gifted teacher that has been teaching for 17 years, and no one else is complaining. i told her i didn't care he needed to be out of there. nothing.
my son is now in the 7th grade. he passed the 3rd grade- actually made the highest score on his fcats in the whole school. which the states had sent my son an award via the school- the teacher took it and had it her classroom. i had to make the office staff go look in there when they could not find it in the office. that year changed my son. he no longer liked school- and ever since the 3rd grade he hasn't made the same grades. he just isn't the same. so if i was you i would change him out of the class. now.

I am having a similar problem with my 7th grader... I am currently waiting on a call back for the School Board. I would call the School Board... And ask them who you should talk to.

Best of Luck,
K. J.

I am having the same problem with my child. It seems these days the teacher just teaches to the whole class but doesn't seem to pay attention to the children who needs more help understanding.
And that leaves the parents to becoming the teacher trying to get the child to understand what they are being taught at school. The only problem is they teach things different then what they use to. And they have different methods on how to solve problems, and to add to they are learning things earlier then what we did when we were in school.
The only thing I can suggest since you talked to the teacher and principal, try going to the guidance councilor and explain you don't feel your child is getting the help needed to understanding the instructions for his work and you would like advice on what to do or ask to switch teachers. Good luck hope it works out.
It's bad enough a mother doesn't get paid for childcare, house cleaning or cooking, or doing laundry lol now we have to become teachers ....

This happened to my mother with me and is one of the many reasons I have chosen homeschooling for my kids. Good luck with whatever you can get done for your son.

K.~
Mommy to Alyssa Marin
who just turned 4 and
Zachary Ryan who will
be 1 very soon!

Hi W.,

I believe as moms, we will all have this problem with a teacher sooner or later in their educational lives. My son is in Kinder too and his teacher is somewhat like your son's teacher. She has her favorites in her class and the rest fall through the cracks. The way that I have been handleing it is by killing her with niceness, LOL, sometimes, this is the best method. Going to the principle and the board will cause long term problems for your son in this school. At least if you get stuck with a bad teacher, it is only for one year, but if you make enemies with the entire school, you have 8 years of dealing with this school system.I work with my child every day on his school work. Even i go above her school week sheet and I assign my son work from books and websites. To give him an extra edge. His behavior, well, their no books for that, LOL. My son is very spoiled and tends to think that he is the boss. My problem solving to that is if he gets a yellow in shcool for bad behavior we discuss what he did, how he could of handled that situation better. Than if he does the same thing again, he gets sent to his room with no tv or play time. He usually just lies in bed. Thank-God, that has been working for us!! Will it work for you?? Don't know, every kid is different.

Good Luck Dear!!

W., because of the bad blood between you and the teacher any approach you take may not work. I would suggest trying two things first asking for help as if you just don’t understand the assignment. I know she says your son was supposed to explain it to you. I would then explain that he tried (little white lie here) but you still do not understand and was wondering if she could help you understand the concepts so that you could help your son understand. My next suggestion may not be the most politically correct idea but it almost always works one way or another. And that is to ask the teacher in the next classroom for help with the assignment. One of two things will happen the teacher next door will help you with a smile or she/he will find someone who can and your son’s teacher will be left with egg on her face. Please keep in mind that when asking for help you should always ask for help in your most polite and respectful tone as not to be misunderstood.

I hope this helps.
D. B.

yeah it makes sense, i don't know why they do that, i know it sucks. Maybe we should attend kidergarten with them..lol hahah:) yeah it's frustrating, just keep prompting the teacher, send her emails until she gets pissed off..lol

Hi W., I am sorry rhat this is happening, kindergarten is the start of the learning process in a public school, and as a parent of a 7th grader, we had, and still have our moments. Children have different levels of learning, some are good at one thing, while others are not. Some may have listening and learning difficulties, which are many...but are very intelligent. Now with this said, teachers have a standard of teaching, and some take that extra mile to help the children because this teacher cares for her students, and some do not. If even the principle isn't listening you can actually go above him/her, and straight to the school board or the superintendents office. You might want to get with other parents to discuss this situation and see if they are also finding confusing matters, or having trouble with the teacher, and then maybe she would listen. I know as a parent you don't want to stir up trouble with the teacher, especially when you know that your son has to see her all week. I am just giving you suggestions, and I hope this helps. Good Luck...I wish I was just beginning kindergarten with my son, boy does time pass by so quickly. Have a great day. M. B.

I have experienced this same situation with my 6 yr old who is currently in 1st grade. She also likes to talk and is not an excellent listener all of the time. I have gone to the teachers as well as the principal. I have never even received a call back from the principal. I was so frustrated that I had considered home schooling. I investigated other schools in the area and she has been accepted into a different school for next year. Maybe you could look for schools with smaller class sizes. I think that helps with the "talkers". Good luck.

I would not go to the school board until you sit down and have a meeting with the teacher. Explain to the teacher what happened and simply ask the teacher that if he/she sends homework home for the parents to help with, there should be detailed instructions for the parents. I'm surprised that she would not have instructions. If there is still a problem after meeting with the teacher, go to the principal, and then maybe the school board.
*PS I'm going to school to become a high school teacher and I know that I would be upset if someone went and "told my superiors on me" before really talking to me about it.