Would This Bother You About Childs Teacher

As someone going into the field of education, all I can say is thank you Anne A. for telling it like it really is. Somewhere along the line it was decided that teaching is easy. We are going to lose valuable teachers if we don't bring some sort of respect back to the schools.

No, this would not bother me. It's a justification for the lowered grade and probably accurate. Your daughter is missing Friday afternoons... why? If she's missing instruction, then her grades will reflect the missed work.

The teacher is very accurate in saying that make-up work "taken home" is very often not returned. In saying that, I don't agree with missing "specials" to complete the work. Maybe have her come in as soon as she finishes her lunch and go out a little late to recess? Just a suggestion- the "specials" are important content too!

As a fourth grader, your daughter needs to start taking responsibility for her materials. If the sheet required the use of a map, she should make sure to ask the teacher for one before going to the other room. If the "other room" didn't have a map, she should have attempted a response.

As your daughter gets older, she will be held increasingly accountable for her own work and completed tasks. Unless there is a really good reason (illness or an urgent appointmet), please stop taking her out of school early.

I don't think the teacher said anything inappropriate by simply telling your daughter the reason she received a lower grade. Why is this something you don't feel should be shared with her? Assuming the teacher's tone is respectful, you should not shield your daughter from honest feedback. The teacher has a right to place value on attendance and classroom participation. Your daughter is going to face this more and more as she gets older. Wait until middle school, she will have many teachers that frown upon leaving early for whatever reasons, in college, and in the working world too. It's a good time to start learning that lesson. I actually agree with the teacher and the school policy. Personally, I would not have gone in to argue that 2 questions on an assignment be corrected. Parents cannot micromanage every little judgement call that teacher's make. I wouldn't let this become a huge battle. Your daughter sounds like a great student. You know she's a solid reader. I would accept the B-, and tell her that you will just strive for better attendance this quarter and leave it at that.

I think you are being too sensitive, cut the teacher some slack. Your kid has not been irreparably mentally damaged--move on and be proud of her great progress report. There are alot more important battles to fight, IMHO. Sounds the teacher has high expectations and doesn't make excuses for the kids, great qualities in a teacher I think. She is in 4th grade, not kindergarten, and she is going to have all sorts of teachers, managers, bosses throughout her life with different styles---she should learn that now.

Man, I would never be able to be a teacher these days--we pay them next to nothing and expect so much from them, and then we analyze every word they say and use it against them when we disagree, ugh! Every time a parent poses any question on this board about a teacher problem, people suggest a sit down with the principle and teacher. Can you imagine if principles and teachers had to meet with parents over every petty thing that happens all day---they would never be doing what they actually should be doing---teaching your child in a classroom! I am not saying you shouldn't get involved with the school if there is a real issue, but I see so many parents with super high expectations of teachers and schools, but zero expectations for their children. Since when is behaving or following rules in school an option for students? When did it become the teachers responsibility to teach your children the proper way to behave in a classroom? Does a teacher have to have a private sit-down conversation with a student every time they want to make a comment to them? Sorry for the rant original poster as your daughter did not have behavior issues, but I really think parents need to start working with teachers and schools and not against them. We are teaching are kids a very bad lesson here, that rules don't apply to them.

*My responses assume that your daughter isn't missing school due to something serious, like a severe medical issue or something similar. If that's the case, and there hasn't been a discussion with school officials over how to appropriately handle missed time/work, then that should take place ASAP.*

There are a few things going here, and they need to be looked at separately in order to make any progress.

1. The grade being lower due to not being in class on Fridays: This is totally acceptable, as is telling a 4th grader why it is that way. No matter the reason she was not there, a lack of attendance hurts a grade. Now, if she is making up work and the grade is still lower, it is probably due to class particiaption points that are being missed. This teacher is (correctly) getting students to realize that just doing the work isn't enough, they need to be present and actively participating in order to get the full benefit of the class. One question: when she has missed Friday afternoons, is that the only class being missed? If it's not, and teh reading grade was the only one affected, you made need to do a little more investigating.

2. Missing "specials": Yes, it's no fun not to go to art class or music class or whatever, but with the current way schools are required to show student progress, this may be the best option. Perhaps your child is capable and dependable enough to make the work up at home and not miss specials, but unfortunately, not all parents care enough to make sure this happens, so the teacher or school does what they can to take away that variable. On the whole, missing a special class isn't going to take away from an overall education. As for finishing and not being able to go to the special, that doesn't make much sense unless the time involved was so short not to make it worth it.

3. Missing materials: I agree with the previous poster, a 4th grade should be able to attempt answering things on an assignment, if the work is familiar, whether they are missing material or not. Yes, reading and following directions is crucial, but we don't always have what we need to complete a job in life, and we make do with what we have. No a bad lesson for a 10 year old to learn. Also, was the teacher who was supervising her make up time the teacher who assigned the worksheet? If not, perhaps pointing out to the teacher who assigned the work that there are times your daughter does not have all of the materials to complete an assignment, and ask what should she do if she encounters that again. Again, learning how to creatively handle an unforseen problem is a great thing to learn, and it makes kids better all around.

4. Being upset at comments: That's totally a personal thing. I wouldn't be bothered by it, especially with a 4th grader. At that point, kids should really be stepping up a bit more when it comes to their school work, both at school and at home. Though some policies or rules may seem a bit extreme to us as parents, teachers need to keep things as structured and uniform as possible so that all students are able to benefit. I would expect my kid to understand that what they do, or don't do, at school will affect their grades, and that includes being in school and completing required work, even if that means missing out on something they like. However, I have some pretty high expectations regarding school performance and behavior, which is probably why the comments and scenarios described wouldn't bother me if they happend to my son.

Bottom line: If you truly feel it's unfair that she got a lower grade, then schedule a sit down with the teacher, ask for a very clear reasoning for the lower grade. She should be able to provide it, and if not, then involve the principal. You may not be able to change the missing specials to make up work policy, but I guess it couldn't hurt to get more details on it.

If you feel this teacher is being difficult, then I may remind you, You are going to have many difficult teachers over the course of your childs education. Take it with a grain of salt. Teachers have a certain amount of freedom to run thier class the way they see fit. If there is a participation grade being given for reading outloud with the rest of the class, and your child has not been present, that would make perfect sense to lose points. If your child had all As, she probably asked the teacher why she got a B, as she knew she would need to explain it to you. 4th grade is a good time to teach responsibility and that choices have consequences. It's a shame your child is missing art class, but since you both know the consequence for missing Friday, than it sounds like that's the choice you made, knowing the consequences. If the teacher does not want to keep up with 28 parents preferences about homework and chooses to have one policy for all, that's her right. Over the years, my children have come home with some real whoppers about their teachers. I found it helpful to have a good line of communication with her teachers. I emailed them often to ask "Hey baby girl said... ist that true? If so, can you explain that to me." It really helped to understand the teachers perspective, not just my 10 yr olds interpretation of how things went down.

My question is why is she missing school? it sounds to means like the teacher is trying to promote good attendance, maybe the Fridays she has missed has been a testing day in reading. I think she may have pointed it out so your daughter would understand the B. Sometimes as moms we are so quick to jump to our childs defence (Been There) to only realize later there was no need for it (Been there too). J.

I would guess that the teacher has high expectations of your daughter because she sees she has the potential to do better than a B-.
For my daughter a B- would be a bad grade. and yes she'd get a you can do better than this speech.
Unless she's ill she needs to be in school.
If the policy is to miss electives to make up work then she's going to go by the school policy, they can't make exceptions.
The map situation sounds like the students were expected to know it without the map and possibly the " use a map" part was on there from another time that test was used. And was possibly a miss communication.

Your daughter must be expected to conform to the school and class room rules.

Congrats on the great report card! Lots of things are obviously working very well in the classroom.

I guess to judge this, I would have wanted to see the teacher's facial expression, hear her tone, and understand if she broadcasted it in a group setting or if it said said privately to your daughter. Definitely ask about the teacher's concerns at your conferences and let her know how you wish communication to work for your family.

If it were me, I would actually be OK with it. I want my 4th grader to understand where his grades come from and what control he has over changing those grades.

Our school puts in bold print at the top of report cards, etc. the child's attendance record. They have pro-actively shared with us that 100% attendance is a worthy goal. Obviously, my children lose and hour or two a few times a year for doctor, dentist, and optomistrist appts. But when a teacher sees a pattern and has to adjust her lesson plans to send work home or accept "outside work" in place of at-school work, well, then the teacher is working harder to accommodate that family's schedule...Not to mention the other 19 kids who may have special attendance needs.

This would bother be also. Maybe you can get a group of parents together and speak to the principal about this. The teacher sounds like a real Pill. Congrats to your daughter on an excellent progress report. :-)

My daughter had a teacher that wouldn't send home make-up work, but would make her miss recess instead to finish it if she was absent the day before. I didn't like this and asked the teacher to please send home the homework that she missed. She never would- it was just a teacher preference not a school policy. So, if I knew my daughter was going to be absent, I would request the teacher send her stuff to me so we could go through it together- this worked sometimes.
It was just a nuisance that I had to deal with.
Also, missing school should not affect her grade- just her attendance unless she is getting the work wrong. It is most schools policy that late work is docked so many points but make-up work from when you are absent is accepted (in my school) on day for each day missed. So if your daughter missed 3 days- she would have 3 days to turn in her work before it was considered late.
I would look up the schools policy on absent/make-up work- it should be in their school handbook. She should not be docking your child's grade just because she is not there- only if the work is late or wrong.
good luck!
~C.

I think the teacher is one of those who doesn't think parents should take their kids out of school ever. I've had to take my kids out of school, some times frequently depending on what was going on. Since my kids have been in school my elderly mother, and both MIL and FIL have been sick and have required many doctor and hospital visits - and there have been times I"ve pulled the kids out early becuase I wouldn't have been able to get them from school beucae I was at a doctor's office. Sometimes the appointments were for the kids, etc. And yes there have even been instances were the kids were pulled out of school becuse we were heading out of town for a long weekend.

Couple of things: 1 - your child is getting A's and one B - so clearly she's not struggling. Sounds like the teacher is taking out of your child that she doesn't approve of the early departures. Is her work really suffering as a result of 3 early days? I would suggest that you ask the teacher for the work and that you'll commit that it will get done at home and returned. That way if a map of Texas is needed you can provide it. If you need to leave early tell the teacher a day in advance if possible and ask for the work early. 2 - as it relates to specials - again, sounds like the teacher is trying to make your child "pay" for the early departures. If you can get the assignments in advance then she can give them to the teacher the following day and she won't have to miss the special. If talking to the teacher and getting the assignments done early doesn't help then I'd definitely talk to the principal or team leader.

I have two neices who are teachers and are very negative about kids getting pulled out of school for vacations, doctors appointments, etc. In some instances their views are valid - soem kids never do the work and miss time and their work does suffer. But that's not always the case.

Since I work and my husband in a NYPD sergeant we often have a tough time making family time and vacations. We used to pull our kids out of school when they were younger for vacations and for an occasional day here or there for something special. Since my husband often works on weekends and holidays we did what we had to do. Now that they're in HS and Middle school we can't help the make-up the work so we don't pull them out as much. But in my view the school work will get done, you can work with your kids to do the work that's needed to keep them up to class level (we spent an hour every morning, and every afternoon before dinner while in Disney doing class work) - but family time can be fleeting. And when our life is over we're never going to wish we spent more time at school or work, but more time with the people we love.

Schedule a sit down meeting with the teacher and principal to discuss your child's schedule and your desires for her education. Write notes at the meeting so they know you are serious. Be kind, but firm. You are in charge of your daughter's education. You need to do what's best for her.

I would schedule a conference with the teacher to address your concerns. Sometimes when dealing with kids the story gets a little mixed up. I would go in with an open mind and listen to what she has to say, but I would be very clear that you don't want her missing art class to make up work. Tell her that you would like the work sent home and it will be completed and sent back to school. If it isn't completed, then she has reason to make her miss an elective. Good luck, I hope your daughter's school experience improves.

Well I do agree w/ you that your child should be able to bring the work home and make it up (especially since you want her to AND it is not a district or school policy to do otherwise).

I don't think her comment was out of line, maybe she could have worded it differently, like "You have great grades but just so you are aware, when you have to miss Friday afternoons it does cause you to miss Reading each time otherwise that grade would have been higher". Or maybe she did word it that way and your daughter only repeated the meaning of what was said. A similiar comment should be directed at the parent when parent teacher conferences come around. Missed class can affect learning, not just the class work, plus there is class participation (which is sometimes part of their grade) that they can not "make up". Your daughter is in 4th grade and should be old enough to hear and understand these types of things.

If they are making them do the work in school (especially missing other classes to do so) then they should certainly make sure the necessary supplies are in the room (unless it is something the student was told to bring). If the student was supposed to bring and didn't, that is their fault. I would definately address this w/ the teacher and then the principle if necessary. If the directions were to "use a map" and the teacher did not give verbal instructions to the contrary, then a map should have been available...they always stress that kids should follow directions so they shouldn't hinder that themselves.

As for not being able to move on to the art class, I think that depends on if the work took her 3 minutes or half the class. Arriving more than a few minutes after class disrupts that class, causes them to miss directions, and may not allow sufficient time to complete that days project. It also may pull the art teacher from what she should be doing at that time because she has to help the late child "catch up".

I would be totally peeved!!! My son had a teacher like this in 3rd grade and seemed to beat my son up at every turn. It drove me crazy. I would touch base with the principal and get his/her take on it since you have tried to talk to the teacher and got nowhere.

I am with you, I would be livid if my child were to miss one class to make up another. Specials like Art, PE and music are getting dumped and cut back all over the place, I don't care what anyone says they are important too!

Going in to the principals office, I would make it clear that her grades are being effected due to the lack of materials, that you are NOT ok with her missing other classes to make up missed classes even if it is art class, and that this teacher is NOT to have conversations with your daughter about attendance, this is a conversation to be had with you. My guess is the principal is not even aware of this teachers mode of operation.

You are not overreacting! Take charge, teachers are wonderful but you can have one or two that do not take the kids best interest at heart only their personal agenda.

Good luck!

Well I would stop pulling my child out of school early unless its a medical situation.
However your daughter leaving school early should have no bearing on her marking period grade..like you said if she is completing the work.
The map question is bizarre. They need to give your the correct tools to complete the task OR take the question off the worksheet.
I would talk to the principal I would not be happy with that teacher if it was my child.

I would call the teacher and say again what you want and also I would talk with the principal.

it sounds to me like the school and the teachers don't know what they are doing. What the teacher did was completely inappropriate and I don't feel like they are giving your daughter the tools to succeed. They are setting her up to fail with the whole missing a class to make up another and not providing her with the right classroom material. I would think about switching schools---look into charter schools, they have more personal attention and you may like that setting better.

Good luck,

Molly

I think I would be a little upset with the teacher, but maybe I don't understand the grading philosophy and the make up work policy. Ask for a copy of these policies in writing, so that you and your daughter fully understand what is expected of her. Why is your daughter getting out of school on Friday afternoon -- is it for medical appointments or to start the weekend a bit early? Three Friday afternoons off in one grading period is a lot of time off and in Fourth grade your daughter is old enough to be accountable. She may not control her time off --you do, but she can tell you that she is supposed to be in class. If she has made up all of her reading work in the elective class periods, why is she being dinged on her grade? Was there some type of class discussion that she missed out on that the teacher recorded a grade for?
It sounds like your daughter is a good student (evidenced by her grades), but that the teacher is stressed out about how many accommodations they have to make for students who miss class. It also seems that there is some punitive measure to not let the kids return to their elective classes. However, it could be disruptive for someone to join the class midway (except this probably happens a lot in school). example: walking in a band class mid way--everyone is already playing a piece and you haven't warmed up yet)
I think it is very important to support your child in school and to be informed about what is going on. But I think it is a good idea to pick your battles wisely!

Set up a meeting with the principal and the teacher. Say that you are "unclear" about school policy so you are going to need to go over it with them. You were led to belive that if a kid missed she would make it up and be OK. Your kid did that and was STILL penalized. So obviously the policy is really that you cannot miss b/c you WILL be penalized and it will be reflected in your grade. Use this as a platform to change the grade if you can. If it were on performance that she got the B- then she of course deserves it. But instead it was b/c she missed school.

This is going to sound stupid and petty considering everyone else's great advice but I just can't get it out of my head. Why is an 86 percent a B-? It's been a long time since I was in school but usually an 80-83 was a B-, 84-86 was a B and 87-89 was a B+. It's silly, I know, and it doesn't matter in the 4th grade but in higher grades where the grade and not the percentage is shown on the report card (as for college) it would make a difference.

This teacher sounds very motivated to keep her job. Between No Child Left Behind and now the Common Core standards, teachers are stuck with an increasingly difficult task of having to teach an ever-mounting list of skills and information which, of course, will be on tests that 'determine' how effective they are as teachers and do directly affect if the teacher keeps their job. So, the arts and electives get pushed aside.

If it were me, and I had an ongoing reason to have my child come home early one day a week, I would understand the reason for the lower grade as well as the comment. Personally, I wouldn't think it beyond reason that my teacher had addressed my child about the matter, because in fourth grade, kids are old enough to understand the relationship between the two. It might even have been that the teacher was explaining to your daughter that it wasn't her competency that was reflected, but her absence, and may have been meant to reassure her of her ability in that area, not to upset her or you.

The map situation sounds like miscommunication on everyone's part. Ideally, your daughter would have brought a map with her to the second room. Ideally, too, when the absence of the map was brought to the other teacher's attention, that teacher might have sent your daughter back to the classroom to get it. And it may well have been as the teacher said, too. That piece sounds a bit confusing.

While I do understand your desire to keep school a pleasant, positive place for your little girl, I also understand the teacher's desire to keep a classroom-wide policy. You sound like a great, concerned mom, and boy! it would be great if every kid had a parent who could help them with schoolwork and supported their artistic pursuits. I myself have a few One-Size Fits All policies at my preschool that I don't won't flex on because frankly, if one parent discovers that I've bent the rules for one child, they might want the same for theirs, and I may not be prepared to offer that. This makes everything patently clear to everyone. It may be that your daughter's teacher has this "no taking missed days work home" policy because some children might not get support for their work at home, or it might not get done. I personally have sent home notes to preschool parents to 'collect leaves' or 'bring a piece of mail to school for sharing' and I can't even get parents to follow through on this 100% of the time. "I didn't see the note" is a common response, even when I think its pretty unmissable.

I'd also talk to your daughter and see if she'd like to talk to the teacher first, or have you both discuss it with the teacher together at a scheduled time. Be sure to let the teacher know why you would want to meet ahead of time, so they can be prepared and then, see what sort of common ground you can find. I think you have a lot of good questions, and if I were the teacher, I wouldn't take offense to them--- it's just good to go in curious and see what the teacher has to say before deciding if you want to take it further.

I think the teacher can grade your daughter down for participation but I do not agree with her refusal to send work home IF you know you're child will be out of school ...... try asking ahead of time for assignments. If that doesnt work and if you're sure it isn't school policy then ask for a meeting with teacher and principal and again nicely request that missed work be sent home and your child not miss art or another special.

I don't think your being too sensitive. What your upset about sounds justifiable. (I'm also assuming that she's missed school because of appointments or something else important related.)