So we have been cracking down on the potty training for our son who turned 3 in late October. We take him to the potty every hour and if he goes pee he gets a jellybean/skittle/m&m and he gets to put a sticker on his chart (When his chart is full he gets a new toy). So far things are going really well! He loves the potty, is excited every time we take him, and goes pee just about every time (How this kid has the ability to pee almost every single hour, I do not know). But I am still finding even more pee in his diaper when I take him to the bathroom, so he is peeing between the bathroom trips as well. Plus, although he always tells us immediately AFTER he poops that he "stinks", he has never told us BEFORE he goes poop. I even transferred the poop from the diaper to the toilet a couple of times so that he could see that "poop goes in the potty", but that kind of back fired on me because he thinks that that is funny and wants me to do it every time (Which I don't). I don't think he is scared to go poop on the potty because he will sit on the toilet and "try" to go... He just has never actually done it.
So how do I get him to tell us that he needs to go potty before he goes and not after he goes?
He is not physiologically, ready.
Also please know, that even Preschool and Kindergarten kids, are not rocket scientists about it.
I know, my kids' teachers told me. It is normal.
And, I also work at an elementary school.
My son was a later bloomer.
And he did it in his own time.
His Preschool never even thought it was a big deal.
Keep in mind, you cannot force a child or encourage a child that does not connect the feeling of needing to Urinate or about to have a BM.
It is something you will need to just let him figure out. If we had the words to describe what it feels like, it sure would make things a lot easier.
Instead they need to become aware of the signals their own bodies send them.
If it makes you feel better, our daughter was an extremely early walker and talker and reader but she just could not connect the potty situation with needing to go until she was almost 4.
What did help was when she noticed the kids in her preschool all sitting on the little potties looking at books. I told her that the children were waiting for their potty to come. She would sit on the potties every once in a while looking at books and one day, it just worked for her, Once she was trained she only had 2 accidents.
Keep in mind, we had worked on and off on potty training many times, with no success or connection for her. She was just not ready,
Hang in there, he will put it together.
Stop the diapers. Put him in big boy underwear.
You need to be with him for several days, more like 5, to help him with the transition.
My boys - all four of them - loved the Elmo song..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqLMcyUFrSA
they still sing it when they are feeling funny.
If he's not holding his urine between trips to the bathroom he's not ready to potty train.
That's THE most important thing. If he can't hold his urine he can't potty train. Part of training is he is holding and makes it to the bathroom.
lol You don't. that's totally backwards, take him on a schedule.
sorry
I see that you do. but I think for 2 weeks you are going to have to really watch him in between every hour potty break.. most kids freeze when they poop. as soon as you see that , you take him by the hand and get him on the pot.
buy a small bottle of bubbles and have him blow bubbles while he is sitting there sometimes that relaxes the muscles and distracts them.
up and the training pants.!!
potty training is intense and it isn't quick unless you devote your every breath to it. if you do for 2 weeks he'll get it, or you can keep doing what you are doing for another 2 months.
The Elmo's potty time, and Daniel Tiger Goes to the Potty episodes really seemed to resonate with my kid.
Best,
F. B.
Make sure you have a number of days to be at home with him (at least 3) and go to underwear. Expect lots of accidents the first couple of days. Both of my boys had over 10 accidents the first day and wanted their pull ups back, but by the third day they pretty much had it down.
Good luck.
V.,
Take him out of his diapers. He's 3. Put him in training pants.
I personally wouldn't reward him with food for going to the bathroom. I never wanted my kids to have that association.
If he's not ready. He's not ready. You taking him every hour isn't going to change that. Yes, he should be potty trained by now. But he's not. Stop putting him in diapers. As long as he's in diapers, he's not going to learn to listen to his body's signals when he needs to go to the bathroom.
I feel your pain. My daughter was 3.5 years old when she potty trained. My oldest son was 2 and he was done in one week. He wanted it. We stopped using diapers and he was on it. My youngest? Three as well. took him several months. After we dropped the diapers ALL THE TIME - he got it.
You have to time things. How long after a meal does he poo? Once you get that schedule down, you wait, on the stool, for a stool...
As long as he knows that the diaper is going to catch whatever comes out, he really has no incentive to tell you he needs to go. There's really not much of a consequence if he pees in a diaper or poops in it. So, no more diaper. He needs to feel wet, needs to feel and smell poopy, frankly. He also is not too young, at three, to have to "help" you clean up the mess when he poops in his pants -- make him take them off, put them into a plastic bag, wipe his own bottom (as best he can, you will do the rest), wash and wash and wash his hands, even clean up the area where he was standing when it happened if anything's on the floor -- that all lets him know that if he poops and doesn't get to the potty, there is the simple fact that he must take time out of his play to clean up. Do not cave to pleas or crying -- and do not, do not scold or make it a punishment. It's just a fact: When you poop or pee in your pants you must clean up, so it's best if you get to the potty on time. That might help him tell you in advance better.
If that does not work, he is not ready enough for full-on training and probably wasn't ready to begin with. Some kids just do not train completely until well after three. Not what any parent likes to hear but it's true.
I, like the first person who posted, would not have associated potty training with food. I don't know how you go back on that now, unless you stop training for a while completely and reboot.
The fact he can pee every hour and is happy to do so might indicate he is holding back some urine most of the time -- he thinks peeing is a fun game and he gets treats too, so he might have learned (though not really consciously) that if he always can produce at least a little pee, he's going to get that treat each hour, and make mommy happy too. It's win-win in his mind but not good for his body or for real potty training. I DO believe in taking kids-in-training to the toilet regularly even if they do not ask, but taking him every hour may be too frequent and could be inadvertently teaching him to hold it in so he can be sure to "perform" and get his treat.
I might try first going cold turkey on diapers (training pants are the same thing to me - get him real underwear that he gets to pick out and won't want to see messy). If that plus the "stop everything to clean up" routine does not work, it might be time to halt altogether for a short period then restart but without treats as incentives. The incentive as he gets older needs to be the feeling he is clean and does not have to stop play in order to clean himself up.
No diapers. By keeping him in diapers he doesn't feel wet and uncomfortable. Throw on big boy underwear and let him help clean up if he has an accident.
You get rid of the diapers. For three years you have taught him that pee and poop go in the diaper. Now you are changing the rules. We trained my son at 25 months in under a week (2 accidents week 2) by putting him in underwear and taking him to the bathroom whenever he woke up, after all meals and if he hadn't been in a couple of hours. He never had a dry diaper before we started - fortunately I had never heard of 'potty readiness' before. As for stopping his play to announce he needs to go- you have a long way to go. Potentially years. But that just means you will need to remind him. Not that you need to keep changing diapers.
He doesn't have a reason to because he's still in a diaper. Time for big boy pants. He needs to feel the wet and be uncomfortable. Yeah, it's messy and there will be cleanup involved. But it will help.
The pooping is something you just have to be patient with. Never let anyone fuss at him at this juncture - it will backfire and hurt all your efforts. Instead, it should be something you all rejoice at when he finally does. Give him a little prune juice cut with water to make sure he isn't constipated. It's harder to go on the potty if he's constipated.
