I worked in my son's Kindergarten classroom last year. Today we were at the park and a boy from his former class "Joey" and his little brother "Steve" were at the park. They are 5 and 6 and had no adults with them. Joey remembered me and we talked for a bit. He told me that I won't see him again for a long time because he is moving to another state. He told me that his dad had 3 warrants: one for assulting a girl, one for stealing, and he didn't remember the third. He said he would be safe in another state.
Joey and Steve went on to tell me how their mom has a baseball bat and has told them if their dad comes they need to beat him up. They went in GREAT detail about their plan if their dad should come around. Rather than interpret this with OMG what a bad mom I thought of how this poor family sounds like they are scared of this man. To be planning a defense plan and moving away.
As we sat there I had a picnic with my son and I shared some of our extra sandwiches with Joey and Steve. They ended up leaving. Joey still goes to the same school as my son, Steve is not in school yet.
This whole situation is heart wrenching. My friend who was with me said that I should tell the Principal or Assistant Principal about this. I agree that they should know if a student is at risk. Who should I email? They are both very good people. I am more close to the Assitant Principal, but I don't know which would be better. I think they would both take this seriously. How do I explain this without sounding like a busy body? I just want to explain that I am concerned and want to share this information. I'd rather do too much than not enough.
What do you Mamas think? Thanks in advance it seems like whenever life throws me a curveball I think, The Mamas will know what to do!! :-)
Thank you for all your suggestions! I will talk to the Principal or Assistant Principal tomorrow. I think I could honestly talk to either, so I think I will just try to talk to whoever I find first. I agree that this is better taken care of in person. I want to be viewed as caring and tone can be lost in email and as some have pointed out it's more impersonal. I don't want to see impersonal as I do care about the well being of this little boy. Hopefully it's nothing but exaggeration, but I will bring it to their attention just in case. I'll add to this after I talk to an administrator and update how it went.
I talked to the AP and she was very receptive and I'm so glad that I was able to communicate that with her. I'm glad that I went in person. Thanks for all your thoughts!
You Mamas are amazing! Thanks for settling my mind that I should "butt in". :-) It makes me want to hug my son extra tight tonight. His dad and I may have our differences, but I am SO thankful that I never have to fear his safety.
ooh this is tough. That's sad that kids have to live in fear of their parent.
I would go IN PERSON to the school tomorrow and tell them what he told you. Tell them you are concerned for their safety.
Right now, that's all you can do. I think if you went to their home - that would be bad - as you never know what you will come up against. So let the authorities deal with it. And the school, once notified must do something.
You aren't a busy body, as you didn't solicit any of the info from the boys. Sounds like you should tell both the Principal and Asst. Principal asap. And possibly follow up afterwards with them. If no one takes this seriously and something happens, that would be tragic. If your gut says to talk to someone, then do it. Even if it has to be CPS down the line. Hope the boys are okay.
DEFINITELY say something. Tomorrow. As for MusicMomma, if the kid is lying (totally doesn't sound like it, though), they will eventually find out... and both the principal, assistant principal and guidance counselor know kids well- they would know how to handle it, lie or not.
HOWEVER, I am going to do a little bit of blaming on the mother... Why in the $#@! are those very young kids at the playground by themselves?!? Also, you really should not put your kids in a place where they don't feel protected by an adult. You don't go and tell kids to defend themselves, in that situation. Your job is to give them a sense of security. You don't let the dad come close to them, for one. And, in reality- a 5 and 6 year old have NOTHING against a violent adult male- EVEN armed with a bat. So, it is a lost cause. And I can talk about this. I had a mega-violent father, who I was very afraid of.
You wouldn't sound like a busybody. Don't e-mail, don't make a phone call, but go directly to the school and request a sit down with the principal. They may be aware of the situation but they may not be. The fact that the boys told you what's going on and in such detail means that it's affecting them deeply and they're afraid, and it's a cry for help. Be the adult that listens and gets help for them.
This way the school can get a counselor and school social worker to talk to the boys to start an investigation and they are mandated reporters. They are bound by law to protect these boys, so if something hinky is going on the police and CPS will be brought in and the school will be the ones to do it. You will be left out of it and the family ie. the father won't ever hear or see your name or your children's.
We had a similar situation last year, except a 3rd grader told my then-5th grader that her mother was beating her and emotionally abusing her. Talking to the principal was the best thing I ever did. Neighbors apparently knew about this ongoing issue and never called the police nor CPS. No one ever got involved because it "wasn't their business." But those kids in that house needed help. The school had an idea because the kids were always in trouble for bullying and other issues, but had no proof until I went in with what the girl told my daughter. The school investigated with the counselors and social workers, interviewed the children (the girl and her brothers, plus my daughter) and being mandated reporters found that there was indeed reason to call in CPS/DCYF.
I don't regret it. The principal will take down what you say and handle the rest.
I would talk to either or both and/or the guidance office. It sounds like he's abusive and the mother is in fear of her and her children's lives.
Go in and talk to one of them, either one, but do not send email. Email is too impersonal in this case
That way when you are in the office you can read the principal's body language and facial expressions and he yours. And you can have a conversation. THey may already have an idea what is going on.
I will pray for these little guys. How sad.
I would definitely say something to someone at the school - principal, counselor, someone! Sounds like an awful situation, but I also have to wonder about the mother too - the kids are alone at a playground with no adult? They are expected to be able to defend themselves with baseball bats because...why? Because they may be home alone without her or another adult around? WHAT?????
I've known kids to exaggerate and not always be clear on the facts, but hearing all this would still motivate me to take some action.
Tell whoever AP or Principal. They can fight for power and both get the help the boys need.
i think i would talk to the principal i am most close with. you know this person knows you and knows you aren't a busy body. this is so sad!! poor boys. maybe they can offer mama some assistance or protection. good luck!
I suggest calling the guidance counselor.
Very sad.
Hope it turns out well for those kids.
Very sad if accurate. Someone needs to know about it.
I would speak to the guidance counselor. this would fall into their job description and they would be equipped to handle the situation.
The school has mandatory reporting, which means they will call cps, which is great. I would talk to whomever can see you first,principal or vp. But, I would also call CPS or the police non-emergency number NOW! Get things started that way when the school calls its already got a file started. You can call anonymous if you want to. But, why wait until tomorrow if you could stop something tonight?
Is there a school social worker? or a district social worker? If not go to whom you feel most comfortable with. Yes, that is so sad.
But what if he has the people fooled and they tell him?
