How Do I Get My 4 Year Old to Tell Us When She Has Pain?

I'm feeling like the others missed the question - or maybe I am.

I think you're asking how to get her to tell you when she's in pain because she doesn't want to tell you trying to avoid a doctor's visit. Is that it?

If so, I know you told her that she won't get any shots or medicine, but can you tell her what WILL/IS going to happen? Maybe that might help.

Other than that, I really like Tracyxo's idea to watch her with her baby doll to see what is going on with her. You can tell an awful lot about what a child is feeling by listening/watching their play.

poor baby. and poor mama. It would be such a helpless feeling to know your baby is in pain and you don't even know to try and comfort her.

Can you buy her a special baby doll. Tell her whenever her baby has an ache or feels yucky, she needs to take good care of her. My girl always indicates her ouchies, by Dr-ing her babydoll. If I sit quiet and watch her take care of her baby, I know pretty much what is going on with her.

I'm not sure what kind of disorder she has but my son will always tell us he's not in pain because he can't handle taking medicine. He can't swallow pills and the liquid medicine makes him gag. We can usually tell when he's in pain but he will tell us it doesn't hurt. Does she maybe have a problem with medicine? Or a fear of the doctor?

Maybe she's not in pain. I've never known a 4 year old who can hide when they're in pain...so if she says it doesn't hurt, and she's not acting like it hurts...maybe it doesn't hurt.

maybe she's used to the pain if it's regular so to her it doesn't hurt. if it went from no pain to pain she wouldn't be able to hide it.

How about making one of those pain charts that they have in the hospital, with a progression of smiley to sad faces? If the condition is at a flare-up stage now, when you think she should be able to tell you that something isn't great, maybe tell her that that's a 5 (or the middle smiley) on your chart and that when she feels like she feels now, she needs to tell you. Maybe she has a high threshold for pain or is just used to how she feels and forgets what normal feels like so therefore isn't communicating it to you because this is her normal? I know that my kids have had things like ear infections diagnosed at well child visits and they felt fine,much to the amazement of the doctor who couldn't imagine someone not feeling that pain.

Is there a more reliable indicator of this than self-reporting? Perhaps there is a pressure point or something that you can check on her body? I'm thinking of times when my kids have gone to the pediatrician and perhaps haven't complained of stomach pain but then when poked in a certain spot, BAM! they reacted, confirming something the pedi suspected.

She's probably not in pain. A 4 year old can't hide pain. It sounds like it would be very painful whenbit happens. Don't harp on her just remind her in the morning and before bed that if she has pain in that area to tell you.

Maybe use a word other than pain. Ask does this area feel ok or not ok? Does it feel different than usual? It might feel different before it gets to the pain feeling and asking different questions might help her figure it out so it gets easier.