How Do I Get My 11 Mo. Old Out of My Bed?

F.,

Good luck! Let me know if you find something that works. I have a two year old that still sleeps with me and my 2 month old son sleeeps in a crib in another room. Initially, my 2 yr old slept in a bassinet for the first three months, then he outgrew it, but we didn't get a crib til he was almost 1 yr old and had a bigger place. Needless to say, he is pretty attached to sleeping with us. He won't even go to bed unless I am with him, he's gotta be completely exhausted before he goes on his own! So, let me know if you find something thatt works.

I'm sure you are exhausted. For everyone's mental and physical health- this is impacting you, your husband, your daughter and your son to be born. I would go cold-turkey and put her in the #2 crib tonight and resolve not to give in and bring her back to bed with you. With this said you need to be intentional during the day to cuddle, love, sing to and comfort her so when she goes to bed you both know her "love tank" is full. Begin a bedtime routine and stick to it. Also, I highly recommend getting a baby sleep book by Dr. Ferber or Weissbluth. Both books will teach you how to lovingly teach your daughter to sleep and give you the sleep you and your growing son need. It is okay to let your daughter cry some. Hang in there!

Hello there,
The only suggestion that I could make is get a big girl bed for your 2 year old. Make it a fun shopping experience for her. Pick out bedding that she likes and make her part of the bed changing experience. Explain to her that this is her bed and the baby needs to use her old bed. Maybe let her pick out some bedding for the baby that she thinks they will like. As long as you make the experience positive for her she should be okay.
J.- mother of 2 ages 8 and 7...best of luck!

What I'm about to suggest will be easier if she is already putting herself to sleep for naps and bedtime. The idea is to help her to self-soothe and put herself to sleep. We all wake up throughout the night, babies and adults alike. It's just that grown-ups roll back over and put ourselves back to sleep. You need to help your daughter to be able to do the same thing. Here's my two cents:

It's time for Daddy to be the Hero! Make sure that she has a transition object like a blanket or lovie that smells like you to take into her crib with her. Do all naps in the crib asap. If you don't want to do the CIO method, then I would suggest a sort of 'chair' method, where daddy sleeps on a blow up bed or mattress on the floor next to the crib, soothing baby in her crib when she wakes during the night. Each night, he can move the mattress farther and farther out of the room. He should only pick her up if she's hysterical, and if he picks her up he should stay close to the crib. If she uses one, Do NOT hand her her pacifier, but he can show her where it is so that she can pick it up for herself. (If he does hand it to her, then you'll just be up the same amount each night, but instead of nursing you'll be giving her her pacifier.)

See how things go, if she seems to get it in a couple of nights, then he should come back to bed with you. He still should do the comforting for at least the first week to wean her from the night-nursing (i.e., using you as a pacifier). Then, you can start to help with the soothing.

I just went through this transition from bed with night nursing to crib with no night nursing with my 10 month old. She and her daddy did so well. It took one night of 2.5 hours of crying with her daddy in the room. After that, she only woke 1-2 times a night for daddy to soothe her, and mostly sleeps all the way through. Good luck!

I had the same problem with my daughter; when the second child came along the bed was to "squishy" and she moved herself out of our bed. We placed a sleeping bag next to the bed. Although my daughter was 2 at the time.

we also slept with our son and he was nursing not as much as yours, but too much for me and i night-weaned him at 14 mos. using my trusted ring-sling to snuggle him tight and sooth him while explaining him that "nana are sleeping no nanas til morning" etc. it was painful, much screaming etc but after about a week he got it and the reward of uninterupted sleep was worth it all. i know you are prego and tired, but you can do it. i dont know if this is a job for dad because you dont want baby to think she is losing you, just the boob. and of course wear a shirt and demand sleep!
as far as the bed, we weaned our kid to a toddler bed next to our bed. he could crawl up into our bed as needed and felt secure. now he is just two and has been sleeping in big bed in his room since october, but still comes into our room in the middle of the night -- fine by me as long as i can sleep through it.
i know many people will tell you to just toughen up your kid, lay down the law, etc. i do think that if the nursing is killing you, you need to find a way that works, but i also know how it is to have a kid that from day 1 could not sleep by himself, and if comfort is what they need that is what we are supposed to be there for. if you have intention and you are consistently putting it out there, she will ease out. goodluck and happy slumbers

Having them in a totally different space can be a little daunting..for both of you...My daughter, who is now 8 and now my son, who just turned 6 really responded to having a 'bed' on the floor right next to me..I would start them out in their rooms, but than would allow them to drag their bedding into my room..my son still does it from time to time..and he still tries to climb in bed with me. but I have to tell him "no, I can't let you sleep in my bed" and for a while, I would have to lay on my stomach so I could hang my hand down so he could hold it for what seemed an endless abount of time...it drives my husband crazy..I make sure the door is closed so I can hear him coming in..just in case..:)or it might be good to set up the bed right next to you first, for a designeated time period, and give them time to acclamate (SP?) to the new crib or bed..they will grow out of it if you are firm but gentle over time... Your almost 3 year old will be absolutely giddy if and when you get her her very own toddler bed that she is totally ready for, and you can use that to your advantage by setting up the crib for your 11 month old at the same time..your 3year old's excitement will transfer to the younger one when she gets HER new bed (or crib) good luck!

Don't know if you ever watch Nany 911 but there are a lot of people who are in the same situation as you. It might take a couple of days but try to be consitent in whatever you try. I think that's the key. My kids are a lot older than yours, but when they were babies my husband and I kept sleeping habits consistent, and it paid off. We hardley ever had trouble with them sleeping with us. I always put soothing music very low, that they got used to, to fall asleep. When they got a little older, we read to them every night. Good Luck!

I know when I decided to move my son from co-sleeping it was also a difficult transistion. From what I gathered from your post your daughter is still co-sleeping. What I found out from doing a little research (and experience) your baby can still smell you (and the milk if you have not dried up yet) when she is sleeping in the same bed as you. Although it was difficult I had to eventually transfer my son outside of my room before he would actually start sleeping through the night. It did not happen automatically but when he would wake up crying I would just go rub his back in his bed until he went back to sleep and eventually he began sleeping longer periods. There is also a cool new product I heard about (although I have not tried) I'm not sure if it works but it seems like it is worth a try. It's called lullabub. I'm thinking about getting a set since I am due to have another boy in March. I think its a little expensive but if it works I would have to say its well worth it. It's supposed to basically rock the crib by placing the "modules" underneath the legs of the crib. I know it has four different "relaxing motions" that are supposed to simulate a mother's womb, mother's heartbeat, a drive in the car, and a boat on the water. Hope this helps a little. Good luck and congratulations on the baby on the way!

Your children are all so very little - Ever thought of one big family bed and another just for you and papa when you feel up to it ?
Read Dr Sears book on Night time parenting published by the La Leche league.

Good Luck,

R.

One thought to consider is whether she and her older sister can sleep together. My nephews are 2 years apart, and that was a very useful stragegy when my sister's 3rd child was on the way. The two children really did need to snuggle and feel close to someone else; it definitely helped. My sister still spent parts of many nights with them one way or another, but mostly/fundamentally they were sleeping in their room and she and later the new baby were in her room. Now (3 years later) all 3 boys sleep in one room and my sister and her husband are in their room -- except for the reality of nighttime parenting when someone is sick or wets the bed or...

Dear F.,
Your little 11 month old daughter has no way of knowing or understanding what is happening in her world. There will soon be a new baby in the family. At her age, she cannot understand what that means to her. For now, SHE is the baby. You have until May to prepare both of your other children for the new arrival, however, the 11 month old will have a harder time. Perhaps try to find a "Toddler" bed for your first child. They are low to the ground, have rails and are suited for a crib sized mattress. She can feel grown up.......and then...........your second daughter can have a crib of her own. Make it special....put her in it and pat her and soothe her and let her learn to sleep there. I don't know what I would do if I had 3 children that young, but you can manage. Your older 2 girls need to know that they each have their own place and a new baby will not take you away from them. Have a special "nite-nite" routine and they will get the hang of it.