Hit Me Baby One More Time!

It felt like you were describing my son when I read this, you'd tell him no and he'd do it again with a smile on his face. The only thing we found that would work is to restrain him. I know that sounds harsh but I felt it was better than a spanking that didn't work anyway. I'd hold him in my lap and hold his arms down even though he'd scream and fight and wouldn't let go until he calmed down. It takes time and patience, but eventually it didn't take to much to get him to calm down and stop hitting. It seems he eventually got sick of being restrained and quit hitting. My granddaughter has recently started pinching her mother's face when she is upset and her mother is restraining her as well. Just a tight hug so to speak and it seems to work. She calms down relatively quickly and doesn't pinch a second time.

My son is a random hitter (although I just posted the other day because he really seemed to be hitting - luckily it was just the situation), but I notice that he is doing many things for the reaction. I think that is why she is laughing. Watch her with the dogs. I'm sure that she is looking first to make sure that you are watching, and then hitting. When we say "no, we don't hit", and show him the nice, soft touches, I try to make sure that he isn't getting the rise and reaction from me that he is trying for, especially facial reactions. Then when he does the soft touches, I really react, and he likes that.
I haven't gone to the punishing thing, as he likes that reaction, I just reinforce the good behavior. I would also caution you on the hand smacks (no moral high-horse here), but because she could get confused of one type of hitting versus another. Also, watch how you are petting the animals around her. With our last cat, we had "beat the cat" - she loved light smacks at the base of her tail, but with our new ones, we have to just do very soft touches in front of our son because he mimics everything.
I don't think that reasoning is going to happen for a bit, but telling her why it isn't good and letting her know that you understand her frustration (if she is), should help later on.
She may be at the point to understand boo-boos too. This has helped us in telling our son that his hitting gave us a boo boo and ask him to kiss it to make it better. Now we just have to watch out because the dog doesn't appreciate all the kisses! :)

I really liked Barb and Mindy's solutions. My daughter hits too (and now has added head banging to the mix). When I was a kid, my folks did the spanking, hand slapping with me and I turned out ok. So, I tried to do that to my daughter when she was mis-behaving...totally backfired as now she hits her own hand when she is frustrated. Oye! I think that they need a way to express their frustration and at that age maybe removing them from it would be helpful. Best of luck!
M., mother of 2 (and one on the way)

Don't worry so much mamma! It's the right time for her to do this.
You're right to worry about the dogs though, even the best dog in the world might get tired of being hit. So, even though it sounds a little mean, every time she hits (you or dad) put her down and walk away. Say 'Ouch, that hurts' and walk away. Tough, I know, but effective!
As for the dogs, every time you see her hitting show her the right way to stroke the dog(s). If she's still hitting them and won't even try to be gentle then say the same 'Ouch, that hurts the doggie' and remove the dog from the room. You go too!
Now, she's pretty young - so I wouldn't leave for very long - but make sure to explain when you come back WHY you left and HOW she can make sure you don't leave again.
Good luck!

She is a normal 16 month old child and will grow out of this but my son at about that age went through a bitting stage. Sounds the same as your daughters hitting. The only thing that stopped him was to make it hurt him when he bit. So while he was biting not afterward we would flick him in the cheek not hard enough to bruise or really hurt him but hard enough that he knew that is not normal and it wasn't comfortable or fun. The same thing works with dog training by the way :) but I don't know how much you can use this for hitting it will be rather difficult to catch her every single time she hits especially when she is hitting the dogs. But maybe you can do something with this. Sorry not more help. Good luck:)

ARGH! I went through this with two of my three sons. My solution was to tell them, "Ouchie! You hurt Mommy!" and remove myself from them. If I was holding them, I would put them down and walk away. They didn't like not having mommy's attention and then soon realized that if they hit me, that's exactly what would happen.

BTW, she's not naughty!LOL She's quite normal. Kids this age are learning cause and effect, action and reaction. It's the initial reaction that gets them interested. They realized how they can effect others by what they do and it's quite a powerful feeling for them! TOTALLY normal!

Hi B.,
I would use the switch on the hand method with a firm but pleasant no. Get a small stick or something of that sort that will sting when used. Immediately after she hits take her hand, tell her no in a very firm voice and switch the back of her hand a time or two. Do not try to reason or explain anything to her. Be quick, firm and very very consistent. Everytime you see her hit anyone or anything you should follow through with the same technique of saying, no, we don't hit, then comes the switch on the hand. Do not use your own hands or fingers to slap or hit at her as this will be counterproductive and confusing to her. If you are consistent it won't take her long to decide she doesn't like that little sting on the hand. Keep this method in mind for other issues that will come your way sooner or later. Blessings, L.

My daughter is in the same phase at 17 mos. This takes more time and effort but if you use the same cue every time she does it (like saying uh-oh!) then physically pick her up and buckle her into a high chair pointed at the wall and let her scream and whine (or just let her think about it a while if she thinks its funny). Then once she is calm get her out and give her a kiss and say "love you"....no reasoning and lecturing. If you do this every time consistently, once she hears the "uh-oh" cue she'll stop the bad action (and you can use it for other bad behavior)...but consistency is key. Got this from Love and Logic and it works awesome! Good luck!

I have three kids and they all went through a hitting and a biting stage between the ages of 15 months through about 2. I found that choosing one discipline (that is upsetting to them) and being consistent with it works best. One of my boys was mortified every time you removed him from ANY situation, he didn't want to miss anything. My second boy couldn't care less, so we would put him on our living room couch which for some reason bothered him. Now we are dealing with my daughter (18 months) that must be your daughters twin, she hits, bites, shoves and likes it! I have not totally identified her discipline yet but it will show up here soon and just like her brothers, she will top eventually, probably around 2.

In short, it sounds like you have a very normal daughter. She will outgrow it just in time to freak you out over something else (probably potty training).

Good luck!!!

She's getting a payoff every time you react. That makes it fun for her. You know what her main triggers are (frustration, etc) so you can take steps to prevent her from hitting. That's the best way at this age. When she does get past you and hit, be completed expressionless and walk away from her (make sure she's in a safe environment). When she see's that it's no fun anymore, it should start decreasing. In the mean time, watch her very carefully with the dogs (if she hits them pull her away, put her someplace safe and walk away) and for sure never leave her alone with them even for a minute.

My son did this too at about this age. We did something a little different than other people have said. We just told him, we are a gentle family, we don't hit in our family, our hands are for loving and then we would gently rub his arm and take his hand and show him how to pet the dog etc. Being consistent with this did the trick for us!