Hi, My 9 Year Old Daughter Recently Has Stopped Being Able to Do Sleepevers.

It could just be a clingy phase that she's going through and that she has a bit of an anxious temperament. It's good that you asked in case something had happened that you need to be aware of but it could very well be that she's just hitting a phase. If it gets to a point where it interferes with her ability to enjoy life you might want to talk to her pediatrician and perhaps have her screened for anxiety, which is increasingly becoming a problem for a lot of children and adolescents. At 9 years old, she's at the beginning of a new developmental phase and might just be experiencing a "step back" in needing mom and dad a bit more before she becomes more independent again.

I know lots of kids who don't like sleepovers, including my youngest.
She tried them and decided she doesn't like them, nothing wrong with that! Luckily sleepovers are just for fun (unlike school, going to the doctor, etc.) and therefore this isn't really a problem.
It sounds like you have a good understanding of her anxiety, which is great because you can support her when things are hard, like being in a crowd or on a stage.
If her anxiety ever starts to effect her school, friends, health, etc. you can seek therapy, but in the meantime just accept the fact that she prefers to sleep at home, as many, MANY people do.

I wouldn't make a big deal of it since that may cause her more anxiety but see if it would be possible for her to stay over up until bedtime and then you can pick her up so she can still have fun.

I was the same way but I still can't tell you why all of a sudden. I guess I just got homesick.

To ease her anxiety, don't make her not wanting to do sleepovers a big deal, because it really isn't. I think it's great she feels comfortable at her best friend's house and grandparents, despite not wanting to stay with anyone else. There was always a friend or 2 in my kids' circles that didn't like sleepovers, but that didn't stop them from having a lot of friends and fun. If she gets invited to sleepover someplace, let her know it's her choice, whether or not to go. No pressure at all. It's fine to decline or say "no thanks" You can always host a friend of hers to sleep over at your house if she wants. But I would avoid more than one friend at a time. Sleepover parties or with groups can be a tough dynamic for any sensitive kids, especially if anxiety is already a concern.

Not every kid likes sleep overs - that's ok.
Not every kid likes crowds or performing or doing sports - that's ok too.

I'm not really seeing a problem here except that your expectations of her are not aligned with what she likes or dislikes.
While they all grow and change - you ultimately have to love the kid you've got for who they are.
They might be different from everyone else - that's perfectly fine.

My son went to them, then stopped. He developed a dislike for them out of the blue. Now that he's older, he still can't tell us why - but it was just slightly older than your daughter's age.

He has a touch of anxiety though. It was just how it manifested.

I would stop asking her questions - because you might draw more attention to it than you want to.

Then it will make it into a bigger issue than it needs to be.

My husband has to remind me to 'cool it with the questions' sometimes when I over ask. Sometimes I have that tendency too. You want to know if a specific thing has caused a change. It doesn't always have to be. It can just be vibe or a feeling they have.

Do you remember that from being a kid? Sometimes you would be fine, but then you'd go through a phase where you weren't ok with something. Don't read too much into it Mom. I'm sure it's fine.

I would encourage her to go over and just pick her up when she wants to come home. That way she doesn't have to have the panicky feeling whatsoever.

Sleepovers usually don’t involve much sleep, so maybe she just wants to sleep in her own bed and not be tired in the morning. Or maybe she witnessed behavior that made her feel uncomfortable. People tend to be on their best behavior during the day, but nighttime is different. If she stops wanting to go over to her friend’s house altogether, I’d be more weary, but if she still wants to hang out there during the day and evening, but wants to come home to sleep, there may not be an actual issue. IF something happened and she isn’t ready to tell you, I would tell her it’s ok to not sleep over but if something is bothering her, she can talk to you about it and if she wants to start sleeping over again, to let you know. I was molested as a child by a family member, and just told my parents I didn’t want to go there anymore because it was boring. I never told my parents because I didn’t feel comfortable talking to them and I just tried to avoid this family member on my own. Your daughter’s reason could be very innocent, but I would just make sure you leave the line of communication open so if she has something to tell you, she will when she is ready.