Here We go...feeding Issues!!

Before one year of age your child should still be getting her nutrition from either breastmilk or formula and not solid foods. At this age solids are just for practice and NOT for their main nutrition. Maybe you should just cut back on the solids at this time and focus more on nursing or bottle feeding (which ever you are already doing). You are right, every child is different and no child can be expected to respond to a situation the same as an other. If your little girl isn't ready to eat more solids than back off a little and give her some more time. Also, have you tried just giving her table food cut up into tiny pieces instead of the jars of good? My daughter would never eat those purees (have you tasted them??? ewwwwwwww) and just preferred eating what ever we were. Good luck mama.

My son just turned 9mo and has issues regarding texture. Anything chunkier than Stage 2 and he will gag, eyes water, and reject/push away everything afterwards. So we still puree homeade baby food to a very smooth texture and he loves it. So we are sticking to his schedule and not the books! Maybe your daugther is not ready for all of the textured foods either? Have you tried making your own purees with breastmilk? It will give a familiar sweet taste she is used to?
Also, he only eats solids 2x per day and not 3 like most books suggest. I nurse him once or twice in the morning before daycare (pending when he wakes/we leave) and then around 10am he will eat cereal w/ breastmilk and a veggie/fruit at daycare. I then feed him dinner around 6-7pm. I nurse/bottles of expressed BM the rest of the time. I know this doesn't follow all the books for a 9mo old, but since he didn't start solids til 6.5mo old, he is just not ready for the chunkier/finger foods yet. Go with your instinct - you know your daughter better than anyone! As long as she is healthy, there is no right or wrong.
Hope that helps! Good Luck!

T., what is the daycare feeding her when she acts "starving" there? My 20 mo. old was "addicted" to Gerber puffs - any flavor :) She refused everything else, so we had to do a puff detox! I think it was harder on MIL, who was feeding Kaitlin puffs everytime I turned around! She soon picked up other foods when she realized that puffs were NOT coming. You might want to keep them hidden because they recognize the packaging! And use them for extreme situations when you REALLY need her to cooperate/be quiet. Good luck!

Don't worry too much. You mentioned you are nursing. Babies can be exclusively breastfed for the entire first year of life. Maybe she doesn't want solid foods when you are around, just wants to nurse. Try just letting them feed her solids at day care and nursing at home. If she doesn't have any teeth, she may not be ready for more solids than that anyway. Getting a first tooth is one of the signs of readiness to start solids.

My daughter is almost two and has always been a terrible eater! I can totally understand your anxiety! I'll tell you a couple of things that worked for me when she was your daughter's age. First of all, throw the books away. Well, don't throw them away, just put them up for a bit. I'm a first time mom and I know how tempting it is to read those books and follow them word for word. The problem with that is the books aren't tailored specifically for your child. And children, just like adults, have different tempermants. Secondly, try to vary the foods you're giving her. Just because she doesn't have teeth doesn't mean she can't eat big people food. My daughter used to love meatballs and little tiny pieces of chicken. She still doesn't eat much in the way of veggies, but she does eat peas and corn. Same with fruit, she'll only eat a few kinds. Just make sure whatever you give your little one, it's tiny pieces so she won't choke.
A few other favorites are oatmeal (either instant or the kind you cook on the stove) with applesauce and cinnamon. Macaroni and cheese, spaghetti (cut the noodles up very small), and chicken nuggets and french fries.
You may also want to let her nurse for a little bit before you feed her. If she wants to nurse, chances are she's not going to eat first. Try waking up, nursing, then put her in the high chair with some finger foods while you get ready. Then finish getting her ready. See if maybe a change in routine helps.
It's also possible that the swatting away of the food is a game to her. Don't let her get away with it.
Just keep working at it...eventually she'll get it! In the meantime, try not to stress out too much. I know, much easier said than done!

Do you think she is ready for more finger foods? I know that my son started refusing baby foods/spoon feeding completely, but gobbled things down when I let him feed himself. She does seem a little young for that, but you never know, every baby is different. It's good that you're going to have her assessed, sounds like you are doing everything right! Hopefully your babysitter will respect your wishes, stay strong!

Hi T.!

Have you tried offering her the same food you eat? As my son stopped nursing, I just weaned him onto the food I was eating. If I was planning to serve something spicy, I would add the spices after I had separated his portion from mine. Before he was able to eat the food whole, I would grind it up in a little baby food grinder or food processor. His favorite was home cooked beef stew! :-D

Babies eat an incredibly small amount of food, so when you say she eats a "little bit" I wonder if she's getting enough?

What food do they serve at daycare? I wonder if they're serving over processed foods that are full of salt & chemicals to make them taste good. If so, that's whole new can of worms!

Book knowledge is wonderful but it doesn't cover every situation. Each person eats differently. You are having some feeding issues with your child it may be a texture issue.
Slapping food out of your hand is unacceptable behavior from your child and you need to put a stop to her slapping at you immediately.
She has no teeth so gumming certain food to death is a problem.
She isn't ready for food from your home. Find out from your child care provider what she eats while there and that is what you offer her. If she eats fine, if not fine, and stop with the nursing chair so she will have to eat.

Hi, T.! I know how you feel. When she doesn't want to eat, it stresses you out! Don't worry about it. It could be a few things. Maybe she's teething. My daughter gave up food when she was teething. If she's eating one good meal a day, then she's probably just fine. Two of my kids are not breakfast eaters. Maybe she's like that too. Maybe you can wait and let her eat at the sitter's house and she might be more willing to eat, rather than right when she gets up. My kids usually don't eat for at least an hour after they wake up. My pediatrician said that if my daughter (who is 15 months) decides she's not eating vegetables, it's okay, as long as she's at least getting fruit, she's fine. Babies are picky at times, and you have to try and just go with it. It's hard, because as a mom, we want to make sure we are doing everything right for our children. I'm sure you are offering her enough food, but if she chooses not to eat it, it's okay. You are doing the right thing! It may go on for a couple of weeks, but then she might jump right back into eating like a champ again!! Good luck!!

these are questions you need to be asking your doctor not your child care worker. I have had 4 babies and some were pickier than others and I would ask the doctor and he would say as long as they are growing and gaining weight that they are fine. The doctor has growth charts that tell you whether your child is falling behind. All you can do is keep on trying to introduce new foods to her and there has to be one or more that she likes. Every child is different and some children aren't hungry in the morning. My daughter who is 13 are having a constant battle of getting her to eat a healthy breakfast in the morning. SHe is not a morning person and if it was her choice would skip breakfast and go right to lunch. I would pack her more food for lunch and snacks during the day. ANd maybe she will eat the healthier food with the the child care? Don't be too h*** o* your self and definitely talk to your pediatrician.

My second baby was like this, and at 18 months is still a picky eater. And my first didn't have teeth until about 10 months so I know how hard it is to find food they can chew! I wouldn't worry about it. Breast feed her as much as she wants (my yongest didn't want solids until she was about a year) and try new things. I'd stick to things she can pick up herself and while it may seem really early, you can introduce a spoon. My little one hated it when I tried to feed her because she wanted to do it herself. and don't get too worried about it. No 9 month old ever starved themselves! It'll work itself out, just be patient with her. And have you tried getting a soup with big noodles and veggies and draining the liquid and giving her the rest? That stuff is soft and flavorful. My kids loved Progresso soups. Good luck! And again, don't let yourself get too upset by her eating habits. while our culture insists babies need solids at 6 months, they really dont and can survive perfectly fine on breastmilk alone for the first year, so while it might seem like she's not eating enough she probably is. As long as her weight is good I wouldn't worry. Good luck!

First of all, you are sooooo right in saying that this is your child and it is your decision how she is raised and everyone should respect that. Now, about the feeding issue, it is very normal for babies to reject foods so you just have to keep trying them until she takes them. I know with all 5 of mine, none of them wanted to eat first thing in the morning when they just woke up and that could be part of the problem. I understand that you have a schedule and need to get to work and everything, but I would recommend waking her as soon as you get up so she has a little more time to be hungry. Maybe even try nursing her first and then trying the food. Mine get up, get changed, and then have a bottle. Then about an hour later they have breakfast.

On the otherhand it is probably a good idea to have her checked out because some babies have a swallowing issue because they never grow out of the tongue reflex stage that babies have to help prevent them from choking.

Just keep up the good work and keep trying because that is usually what you need. Hope everything works out for you!!!!! Best Wishes!

You're absolutely right. She's your baby and only you can decide what's right for her. I have 3 kids of my own and a best friend that currently nurses. If I were you, I'd skip the solids all together, in the morning. Give yourself more time to nurse. Your daughter will be happier, you'll be less stressed and nutritionally she will be absolutely fine. The day care can feed her solids when she's awake and ready to eat! Take care!

I know it's hard, but try to relax. (And forget about those books for a while!) As long as your daughter is still nursing at least 5 times a day (I think that's the right number for a 9-10 month old) or getting an adequate amount of formula, she's just fine. Solids are just for fun and learning at this age. The more you stress about it, the less she's going to want to eat, and it will turn into a battle. I only offered 1-2 meals of solids at this age and didn't introduce a third meal until the child seemed particularly interested or closer to a year.

I've heard several people say that the parent's job is to provide healthy food; it's the child's job to eat it. You can't *make* her eat. All you can do is give her lots of healthy options to choose from. Most toddlers will take in what they need over the course of a week or two. (They focus on dairy for a couple days, then eat a ton of fruit, and maybe have one day where they eat helping after helping of green beans or something.) Note that the balanced diet also matters less as long as you're still nursing since that provides everything she needs.

Are you eating breakfast when she eats? Maybe you could offer her a little taste of what you have. Also, try giving her her own spoon. Two of my three kids were very interested in feeding themselves from a young age and wouldn't let me feed them much anymore. One of my kids hated baby food and refused all of it; she actually ate very few solids before a year old, but is now quite healthy (long and lean) with a varied diet at age 4.

You might want to skip the baby food altogether and just start offering table foods. You'd be surprised what these little ones are able to gum up w/o molars. My 16-month-old son still only has 6 teeth (all in the front), and he eats almost everything we eat. The only thing he struggles with some are tough meats (like beef/pork) and lettuce, so we just cut those into super-tiny pieces, and he does fine. He even gnaws on raw celery/carrots and does manage to get some small bits into his mouth.

One great first food for babies is banana. You can cut it up for her to self-feed, or just hold the banana and let her take a little bite right off the top. I've shared bananas with all my kids (alternating bites), and they loved it! Your daughter also might like sweet potatoes better than regular mashed potatoes -- I know my kids did at that age, and they still like sweet potatoes.

As for your care provider, I'm sure she means well, and it might be worth listening to her ideas even if that's not what the book says. You're also perfectly free to nod, smile, and then ignore whatever she says. :-) One thing I've learned to do is take in whatever advice people have to offer, keep what works for me, and discard the rest. Usually, there are bits and pieces of good info in there.

Now, go and enjoy your sweet baby girl! :-)

Hi T.,

First of all I want to say you are awesome for being a full-time working single nursing mom!! Not sure I could have done it.

I too would try nursing first, before the solid food, or else allow a little more time for nursing. My two (now teens) always wanted to nurse first thing, and are still not big breakfast eaters right away in the am. She may just be someone who doesn't like to eat right away. Could you take a portable breakfast that she could munch in the car or at the day care provider's? dry cereal, waffle or toast in small pieces?

Keep up the nursing as long as both you and your child want to. It is SO good for them! Those immunities she gets from your milk will help keep her healthier as long as she nurses.

Your La Leche League group may have ideas too. LLL also has a web site, whihc may help if you can't get to a meeting.

If her weight is OK and she's developing OK, I wouldn't stress too much over it.

Sounds like you are a great Mom! Keep it up!

K. Z.

Good for you with all the work you do! Have you asked your pediatrician for advice? Feeding issues can be a bear, so it's probably best to get it looked into asap. And like another mom said, maybe waking her is making her crabby? I understand that you have a tight schedule... what happens on weekends when (if) you don't work? Is her mood any better?

It sounds as though you are also breastfeeding your daughter, right? Maybe you need to nurse her first - and then offer solids. It's not uncommon for breastfed babies to want more of mama's milk than table food at this age. My little guy wasn't a great eater until his first birthday. I ended up nursing him, then puttin him in his chair with a small amount of cereal in a bowl. I let him try to feed himself with one spoon, as I used a second to offer food.

I have 2 daughters and they both went through this - it seemed like anything I fixed was batted away and/or tossed on the floor.

It could be her teeth are getting ready to come in and/or her teeth/gums are bothering her and making her a little cranky.

I remember the daycare we took our first too made oatmeal that she liked (and still likes) - they'd make it thick enough that the kids could pick it up and eat it without a spoon (but would give them spoons to encourage utensil use). They also would cut up fish sticks - which were a favorite.

The Gerber "Crunchies" is a favorite for our 2 year old, but she has all her teeth.

Someone suggested frozen pancakes - that's a great idea. The daycare also would make blueberry coffee cake (instead of making them into muffins, they'd just pour it out into a baking sheet and bake until done - brilliant!).

Both our girls like the chef boy-ar-dee meals (cheeseburger macaroni, beefaroni) and spaghettio's.

Keep trying - eventually you'll find something she'll eat! Just a few thoughts.

Have you tried the organic fruits/vegetables? My 10 month old son seems to like the organic vegetables better. Or have you tried other table foods (pureed of course?) Maybe fresh vegetables pureed at home would be tastier for her? Maybe it would taste better if it's less processed. You mentioned the jar cereal, but also mentioned that she's breastfed. Have you tried the Box of single grain rice cereal that you can mix with the breastmilk? Maybe she'd like that better since it would have the breastmilk taste. I've also mixed that with juice and water for my son because he likes the fruit flavor. (I did it once when I was low on pumpted breastmilk and then after that he only wanted it that way).

I am a working mother of three (A six year old daughter, a 3 1/2 year old daugther and a 10 month old son).

hey, T.. i wonder what time your daughter would wake up on her own - would it be enough time to nurse her and get her dressed before you need to leave (if her hair's curly and that's what takes so long, maybe you could let it go wild to save some time?), then let the day care feed her 'breakfast'? i know a lot of people who nurse first, then feed up to an hour later. with my own son, there's always been a delay b/w the two. maybe this would put her in a better frame of mind (i know what i'm like when i'm woken up before i'm ready...every day. ha!). and nursing is a nice transition b/w sleep and alertness if you have the luxury of nursing her in your bed after she wakes up. good luck.

T.:

How frustrating for you!! I know how it feels, My DD Just turned 1 last week and it gets tought some times. Some things I tried with my daughter that have worked well for us, and she only has her front 8 teeth, no molars is this: ripe blueberries cut in half, or Blueberry muffins (Which I make using the mix but with fresh blueberries) crumbled, or I make a frozen pancake (Eggo or Aunt Jemima) Microwaved for 30 sec with some yogurt butter and I tear it up into small peices for her to self feed. Instant plain oatmeal with applesauce mixed in to sneek in a fruit. My DD also loves steamed broccoli, I cut the stalk off and make the flower small enough for her to pick up and swallow. Kroger has a great line of organic canned goods, like corn, green beans. I also offer those and she seems to like them, and a can will last about 4 days. I hope these ideas help, I am just bent on stopping baby food ASAP because it's expensive. I tried make my own, but it's just not my strength. I hope these ideas help, and feel free to contact me if you need anything else.

You state that you use a "nursing" chair, if you are still nursing, she is getting plenty of nutrition from that. If not, all you can do is try. A baby will eat when she is hungry. Is she eating OK at the daycare? Just keep trying different foods, different temperatures. Sometime babies just don't like the texture of foods and takes them awhile to adjust. I would not worry unless she is losing or not gaining weight.

quit stressin about this do you eat with her as well?try one food at a time.for a week before introducing new foods.if you try eating with her that might help or she may have issues such as allergies with some foods.went thru that myself

Hi T.,

It's so frustrating when they won't eat! My daughter was also like this - she wanted to eat on her schedule and not mine which, in theory, is fine but, when you're trying to get moving in the morning, it can be maddening.

You don't mention pumping but even if you're just nursing in the mornings and before bed, I'd bet she's okay nutritionally. I assume that your diet is balanced and varied (for most nursing moms, this is a given) so she's getting nutrients from everything YOU eat. For example, if you're concerned about her veggie intake, up your veggie intake and it might help.

Something else you might think about is giving her whole fruits and veggies, instead of purees. Some kids (like mine) just aren't into the texture of traditional baby foods. Their little gums can mash cooked food and soft fruit even without teeth.

You mentioned trying fruit every which way so maybe you're way ahead of me :) but, we gave our daughter banana slices cut into 8ths (a lot of cutting, I know) and cooked green beans cut into 3rds even before she had teeth. Cooked sweet potato and cooked carrots were big favorites too. Peas are a perfect size.

In any case, I think it sounds like more of a time issue than texture but it might be worth a shot. Otherwise, can your daycare provider feed breakfast once she's there?

OH and one more thing about the daycare provider: You are so right about being your daughter's mom and what you say goes. Try and let her judgment roll right off your back, dear. I don't know why but, some moms just live to tear down or "correct" other moms but really, every kid is different and there's no question that you know yours best.

Good luck! :)
J.