Helping My 4-Year Old Son Be More Imaginative

Updated on February 09, 2008
C.P. asks from Hartville, OH
5 answers

My son is almost 4 years old and doesn't know how to "play" by himself. We don't have video games and he doesn't watch much TV, but he doesn't have much of an imagination to pretend play. He relies on me to play with him, but with my 1 year old, it gets a bit more challenging and tiring.

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So What Happened?

Thank you ladies! I tried the "remote control game" and he loved it! When Daddy came home from work, he tried it on him only Daddy had no idea what he was doing. When my daughter goes down for her nap, my son and I do play together. I still find it hard to walk away and let him continue to play by himself. I'm not sure if this is developmental, but it just seems as though he can't figure out what to do on his own. I will continue and hope for the best!

More Answers

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J.A.

answers from Toledo on

I have a 4-year-old son as well and we play a game that he reallly enjoys called "The Remote Control Game." Basically, I pretend to hold an invisible remote control that has tons of silly buttons that I press to make him do various things. This can range from the "jump up and down" button to the "sit down and read a book" button. I verbalize what button I'm pressing and sometimes give him the remote so he can make mommy be silly as well. This is something I picked up from the Upside Down Show on Noggin and it's alot of fun to come up with pretend tasks for him to do.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

C.,

I know that this is an old thread, and I hope that your son is using his imaginations now. Let me just say, if it is not and you are noticing ANYTHING else that concerns you about your son, then you should make an appointment with a Developmental Pediatrican. Be it funny speech patterns or odd usagaes of language, not looking at you when he talks, not paying attention to his friends or just "dancing to his own drummer" it all could be more serious and the earlier you get help the better off he will be. Please don't wait if you see ANYTHING else that has ever given you reason to ask...is this normal?

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L.J.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi C.!

I am a mother of 3. My son is 4 1/2 and has a very vivid imagination (maybe too much sometimes). He does a great job playing on his own, although his attention span is not always very long. And he is also fortunate enough to have two sisters (2 yrs and 10 months) to also keep him occupied. I have listed some of the toys/games that he uses a lot of imagination with below.

kithen - I got my 3 kids a play kitchen this past Christmas. It was mainly for the girls, but my son plays with it a lot too. He makes entire meals and then brings us the 'play food' to eat.

tools/yard equipment - Probably the best $12 dollars I spent was buying him a play lawnmower when he was about 18 months. He still uses it - especially during the summer. He also loves the Home Depot line of toys (from ToysRUS). He has the weedwacker and blower. Every time my husband mows, my son gets out all of his equipment too.

building toys - My son loves to build things. We got him the large cardboard building blocks when he was about 1. He still uses them to build towers, fences, beds, etc. He also likes brix (sp?) blocks, tinker toys and lincoln logs. He also really enjoys playdough. A lot of times while I am making dinner, I will get out the playdough and let the 2 older kids play at the table (where I can watch them). They like to use cookie cutters with it and my son likes to build roads for his cars out of playdough. During the winter I would bring in large cups of snow and let them 'build' small snow men at the table. They got a little wet, but had great fun.

dress up clothes - My son has a few dress up outfits - darth vadar, pirate (old halloween costume) and a knight shield/sword. He also likes to use his dr kit. He will come up and give us shots or take our blood pressure. And he sometimes borrows my daughter's dress up clothes (but dont' tell his dad).

play figures - When he was younger he enjoyed the little people sets. Now that he is older, he likes the playmobil sets or other action figures. He got a Playmobil safari set for his 4th b-day with lots of animals. I then got out an old safari 'Adventure People' set I had from when I was young and it complimented his set well.

Sorry this is so long - but I was able to think of a lot of pretend play ideas... Hope this helps.

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H.W.

answers from Columbus on

I have a 4 and a half year old, and I have found that the best way to get his imagination going is 1)like a previous person stated giving him an old cell phone to have pretend conversations with whomever he wants 2) while I am doing something else I start a story and have him add to it. This didn't start out well but now he can tell some crazy stories. We have evolved this one to.. since having my daughter I have him tell her stories while I do dishes or whatever. This also helps him feel important in the scheme of things 3) we also get a game out and I have him make up his own rules to it and we play it his way. I just have to keep reminding him that we don't change the rules in the middle of the game. haha 4) during bath time I give him baby bath toys like rubber ducks and frogs and he makes up different games or stories to go with them.

Hope this helps

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

My son just turned 4 in March and is pretty much the same way. At home, he's the only child. He has a younger brother at his dad's but only 8 months old, far too young to combine play. There he watches more movies and it's an apartment so they have to keep him quiet. Here, we do anything and everything. My son loves to cook and clean (vacuuming specifically) so we have added those in to our every day lives. If he wants to help with those he can but if he doesn't then he has to find something to do on his own while we do those. I have found the toys that are low key, like a flash light, trucks and cars that make no noises or are made out of wood and puzzles are his favorite toys to play with. Balls and art supplies have also been very helpful lately. He has about 20 movies (mostly hand me downs from his dad and me) and v-smile and 3 different read along/read to him things but he doesn't really play with any of them. We gave him an old cell phone and he plays with that non stop! The simple toys that they can use their imaginations with are the best. Make sure you are also giving him time to himself with you. I know this is difficult, but even if he gets an hour while the younger one naps or something simple for time with just you then he will be able to deal with the time that he HAS to share or entertain himself better. Just some ideas. Not sure if they help or not. Best wishes!

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