Help! My Toddler Won't Wear New Clothes!

My daughter is almost 2 and refuses to wear certain things as well. Thats when I let her pick her pants that she wants to wear and I select 3 matching shirts for her to choose from. She gets to pick her own shoes too.

Can you mix them in with the old clothes? Let her choose an old pair of pants that she wants to wear but give her the option of wearing it with a new shirt? Maybe then she will get used to them and wont mind them as much? Just a thought.

With my kids and shoes, we always ask them if the new shoes help them run faster and jump higher. Works everytime.
H.

My 3 yo daughter doesn't like to wear clothes at all, so last winter we invested in some super soft wool/silk long underwear (she calls them her warm) that she wears under everything. She loves the feel of these on her skin and as long as she is wearing these, she really doesn't care about anything else touching her skin. Beyond that, I place two outfits on the bed & let her choose which one she wants to wear. It works most of the time.

another hint i haven't seem yet is buy the same clothes in different sizes.. worked for me .. I have jeans from the same brand in a 12-18 months 2t,3t, and a 4t. and the good news is my son willwear them when my daughter is done with them. And washing new clothes is a must... dust& dye can irritate her skin. plus it softens them to feel more like her old stuff.

try washing them a few times to get the stiffness, new smell out of them, then tuck them away underneath, in between, older clothes in the drawer. shoes are a little trickier. maybe find an occasion where everyone is going to wear their new shoes that makes them special. try bending them in your hands to soften them up a bit before she has to wear them.
bottom line though is you are the parent and she is the child. what you say goes! she's only two now but she will be getting older and if you give in now you're only setting yourself up for bigger battles in the future. good luck.

My son has a "textural" thing where he really can't deal with the stiffness of new clothes, have you tried washing the clothes/jackets first?

Is she super-sensitive to the way things feel on her body? If so, cut out all tags, and wash new items a few times to soften them. Choose all cotton clothes with few inside seams.

If she is simply asserting independence (she is 2 after all!) and engaging in a power struggle with you, you're in for some difficult parenting. I would allow her to choose from two outfits. Let her dress herself if possible and praise her for being such a big girl. If she throws a tantrum, leave the room, but make her remain in her room until she emerges dressed. You might say something along the lines of, "When you are dressed we will go outside and play" (or some other highly valued activity). Make it clear that she will be in her room until she is dressed and that if she needs assistance you will be happy to help her. Try to remain positive and firm in your conviction. She'll probably adapt sooner than you think.

Hi - definitely wash the clothes before you try to get them on her, as others suggested, BUT how about washing them and putting them in her drawer or hanging in her closet, like they have always been there?? Then, gradually, hide some of her old clothes after she wears them and tell her that you took them to the dry cleaners to be washed and ironed because the Cleaners get the stains out better. If she looks in the washer or dryer say that you took them for the stains and to be ironed. When they are ready the Cleaners will call you. THEN go in her drawer or closet and maybe she will pick some of the new stuff! Seems sneaky, but you gotta do what you gotta do to save your sanity. Good luck.

Does she have sensory issues? Maybe she doesn't like tags and scratchy clothes? If so, you'll need to be very careful with the type of clothes you introduce to her.

If it fits her let her wear when she wants. Take out two outfits and let her pick, take out two pairs of shoes and let her pick. If she won't put on a winter jacket to go out to play in well then she just gets to miss out on the fun of playing outdoors. Let her go shopping with you and have her pick between a few outfits. If she has some say in what she wears she will probably be more willing to wear her new things.

Hi
I had the same problem with my son, now 5. It started at age 2. He is better now, but still has specific critera for the clothes he'll wear. I just bought several of the same items in different sizes, He was especially difficult to change to new shoes. I learned that you should buy the next size up at the same time, to ensure they are in stock. Why struggle about little things, so what if he won't wear jeans. But for the things that matter, like his shoes are too small and he needs new ones. When it is time to switch to a something new, it is more about the parent than the child. I had to psych my self up, at first I had to literally remove the old shoes from the house so it was not an option to give in.
Good Luck.
G.

Hi S. - I have to say, clothes were one hill I never chose to die on... Why not just let her wear old clothes??

And/or, make her a part of the process. Take her shopping with you, let her pick the clothes and then choose what she wears.

And naturally - shop only at consignment. That way, when she tries them on, that's how they will feel forever. Tags, stiffness, etc... AND - you'll save a ton of money!

Belive me - it only gets worse!! There are so many other hills to die on - that have to do with character, morals and standards. Clothes are the least of your worries...!

And remember - Have fun! She'll be in middle school before know it.

She may be tactile sensitive and the new fabric may not feel comfortable against her skin. Her acting out may be a means of letting you know her discomfort.

Sometimes when I buy something new like shoes or a hat I plan a special activity that the new item is for...a month ago I got a new hat for my son and we were going for a tractor ride so I talked up the tractor ride and his new tractor ride hat! He now talks about the tractor ride everytime he wears that hat! Just a fun way to work new things in for us that works! Hope that helps a little :-)

I agree with one of the other ladies regarding the smell of new clothes, but my thought is to prewash to get the toxins out of the clothing and with shoes maybe dust with a bit of baking soda as well as sprinkle on the inside. Let set for a while and clean.

The cloth our clothes are made from are treated and should be washed before wearing. If you ever get a chance to see Brenda Watson on the PBS station, you will be amazed at what we eat, wear and the air around us. Certain clothing I have always washed before wearing, but a dress for a special occasion, I have never done, but now have 2nd thoughts about even that. Taking to the dry cleaners doesn't help, unless their products are non-toxic, unless you can find one that is toxin free.

If you can't wash the coat, you may want to consider spraying with a non-toxic spray to take away the new odor. I use a solution called Solumel instead of Fabreeze and the Glad sprays, because it is a toxin free product, natural and GREEN.

Good luck.

My son who is now 12 years old had similar reactions to change. Specifically toward clothes, for him it was texture. As far as new clothes I had to wash them first. My suggestion is talk to your daughter. Is it the texture? Is it the change? Is it that she doesn't like them, aesthetically? Is it about control and being able to make choices? How about going to a gently-used children's store to look for clothes. Have her look for clothes with you and let her choose some for herself. They can come up with some crazy combos but they are clothed and happy. Or, if there are 5 shirts you like, let her choose which ones she likes. Now that I know the textures that are "agreeable" to my son and his sense of style, I am able to shop for him with only ocassional returns. My daughter, 10 yrs old, has always enjoyed dressing herself and picking out her own clothes. Early on she might where three different patterns at once, the next might be the prettiest party dress and shiny shoes, the next "dress-up" clothes or costumes. Now, at 10, she is seeking out her own "style" and I am learning acceptance. I do have my boundaries, like does it cover her body and no derogatory, sexual, or sexist images/words. Basically, as a parent we set boundaries but there are times when we need to seek understanding about the issue. Good Luck. Feed her, love her, do the best you can. She'll be OK.

Give her a couple of choices. If this still creates a meltdown than you need to put your foot down. Remember...you are the parent and even though she is only two she needs you to show her that you are the boss. Please do not make the mistake of giving in to these fits. 2.5 is plenty old enough to realize what works and what doesn't. My kids have all pulled this same thing, but I have never given in to any of them and the problem has been short lived. You are not alone. We have had mornings that were horrible because one of my kids didn't want to wear a coat in January, but the important thing is is that they wore their coat. As long as you don't give in and you show her you are the parent then this will not last long. Once she realizes that the fits are a waste of her time, they will end.

I have a 2.5 yr.pld girl. We have been letting her pick out what she wants to ware. we got rid of the old cloths and things that are to small. So she only has the new stuff to choose from. It has been working for us. I hope it will work for you. Good luck

You've gotten a lot of good input. Mimi had a bunch of good questions at the beginning of her post. Our son is 12 and has always been keenly aware of textures. I can't say he has sensory issues, but he most certainly has preferences.

For our son, he loves the soft feel of a lot of the satiny labels. It harkens back to his favorite teddy bear who has a satin ribbon around his neck. To this day, his labels are his comfort zone. Even at 12, I still see him with his hand at the back of his neck, rubbing his satiny label on occasion. Go figure!

Any guess if it's the texture of things your daughter is rejecting? New stuff (shoes/clothes) can be stiffer and not as inviting as the old favorites. It depends on the kid.

Does she have enough communication skills to tell you what she likes? Part of it is probably just a phase and frustration of her not being able to fully communicate what she wants to say or get or not get. But you can ask a bunch of yes or no questions that might help both of you sort out what drives her buggy about new stuff.

You can start with simple questions and then progress to a game, making the questions more and more outrageous and silly as you go. Too soft? Too stiff? Smells too new...? Too green? Too blue? Too pink...? Too monkeyish? Too elephantish? Too alligatorish...you get the picture. Sometimes a little humor goes a long way with kids (and moms) who are frustrated. And sometimes the goofy helps trip the mind of what the problem really is.

I swear by consignment shops for kid's clothes. They start out softer, because they're used, and you spend a ton less cash for them. Also, if it's a bust on the "like scale", you're not out so much money and can just return it or sell it again. Like Mimi, I've now gotten to the point where I have a pretty good sense of what he likes and doesn't like--texture-wise, that is. Soon enough, he's going to start caring about style. YIKES! Is he really going to be a teenager next year?!

Good luck!

I don't know if you are involving her in the purchasing process, but I would definitely let her pick out her new things. Don't worry - you can usually steer them to the right stuff. And be sure to set the stage first - if something is too expensive or inappropriate, they are not allowed to get it. Period. My daughter was definitely picking her stuff by age 2 - and choosing what to wear each day (usually it was the same pink dress that she loved - I'd have to wash it every night - LOL. Got to the point where the daycare director thought we needed a donation!). It's probably just a phase she'll grow out of. Also - make sure it's not the feel of new clothes - all new clothes should be washed before being worn - there are some terrible detergents/additives on brand new clothes that are really irritating to their skin. Good luck.

Sounds like a power struggle to me. I would throw/give/put away everything that doesn't fit or is seasonal or you just don't like and just tell her "they're gone. you have to pick one of these outfits". leave the room and let her choose between 2-3 things that are the same as she would normally wear. Be sure to wash everything before wearing to make the new clothes soft and comfie. Check for rough seams and itchy places too. You wouldn't want to wear something that drove you nuts all day. :)

I don't have any advice for you but i can sympathise. It all started at 2.5 with my daughter and is still going on. She will ONLY wear pink -- and then only certain kinds of pink at that. Getting her dressed in the morning is unreal. Trying to get her to choose between two, three or whichever number of outfits is useless. She says no to each one. When i finally force her to put one of them on she kicks, screams and puts up a fight so bad and for so long that it is unreal. We have a rule in our house that it is OK to be angry and scream -- she just needs to do it in her room. So this is where she almost always ends up in the morning. Screaming, kicking and yelling --sometime for hours. We even have problems with jammies. Getting them on her is no problem (we watch a half hour of tv before bed adn this is when they get put on) it's later at about 2am where she will get hysterical if they are not pink. UGH.

I have tried lowering her rack of clothes so she can choose her own outfit... i have tried bribing her, i have tried leaving her naked.. but nothing works.

And God help me if i tried to get anything but pink on her.

So.... I just wanted to lend my support and tell you that it's not only you that is going through this. I can also warn you that it will probably get worse. Just stick to your guns and when he finally figures out that he DOES have to wear weather appropriate clothes maybe the screaming fits will subside.

oh-- one trick i have just learned is to buy a couple tight long sleeved tee shirts and put them under any short sleeved things that they insist on wearing. sometimes it can look pretty funny (like with a dress-up outfit) but at least it avoides an all out blow-out (sometimes)